Father's Day Intensive: Online Satsang of May 9, 2024

[Dhyan Mikael:] Welcome. I am glad you are here, on this beautiful Father's Day afternoon. Ascension Day.

Here in the village where I live, there's a village festival down by the river with music band and beer, and people love to get together and use this holiday as an opportunity to sit together again and talk and drink– a day of community. And for me, there is nothing better than spending such a special day in Satsang, in this kind of community with you and everyone else. At the beginning of this Satsang, for those who don't know what this is about, I would like to say two sentences about what we are doing here.

In this Satsang, you can ask me a question if you like. You can just write it in the chat of the YouTube broadcast or of Zoom, and then, Simone will read out the questions and I will then try to say something about it. But you can also talk to me directly via Zoom if you want, and then you can just give a hand signal in Zoom. Simone will then see that and will arrange for you to talk to me.

And that's actually all there is to it. We just talk together here, and I try to pass on a little of what I've experienced and what I've learned in my life, and use it to answer the questions. We do this until half past three, until 3:30 pm, and in the last half hour of this intensive you can, if you like, meditate with me and everyone else together, namely the Samarpan Meditation.

This is the meditation that I talk about so often and with such pleasure. If you don't know it yet, it doesn't matter at all. Before we start, I'll say a few sentences about it later at half past three. The whole thing is very simple and very beneficial, and I invite you to simply try it out. Yes, that's enough of a preface. Let's just get straight to it. Simone, hello to you! Do you already have something you can read to me?

[Simone:] No, Mikael, we don't have any questions yet.

What's the right thing to do right now?

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[Dhyan Mikael:] Yes, fine. I have one here though. I got an email yesterday. This Father's Day Satsang has been planned at rather short notice, and I only mentioned it in my newsletter a few days ago, for the first time, so it might have come as a surprise to some people. And so, last night I received an email from a woman who I obviously put under a bit of stress.

I've already replied to her and all is well, but I thought the question so beautiful, and I love these very practical things in life that unsettle us so easily. And although I've already answered her, I'd like to read it out and say something about it here for everyone. "You are offering four Online Satsangs at very short notice. The upcoming Tuesday was already known for a long time, but now suddenly tomorrow, on Father's Day, a Satsang Intensive. And that brings up my question: who decides whether I will be there?

My first thought was: stupid time. The weather is supposed to be good tomorrow, and I'd rather be out on my bike. An event like that in the middle of the day is difficult and unfortunate. Should or may I give it a miss? My second thought was: okay, change of plans. Soham has told me for so many years: put God first. Soham also gave me the name Sahajo"... I didn't really want to say the name, but now it's already happened... "Sahajo, with the meaning: spontaneous. Therefore: I'm in.

But then my third thought: quite honestly, I have to be there live, because that's the only way I can make it to the finish line as quickly as possible. I have to make an effort, so as not to miss anything. And at the same time, I suspect that it won't work that way. And then comes the sadness. And then, last but not least, my fourth thought: and what about the joy? Mikael says: go with the joy. And now I don't know anything anymore. Maybe you can bring clarity to my chaos."

Yes, thank you again for this question. We all have this confusion; we all have these questions as human beings. And everyone usually feels like they're the only person going around in circles in their own head like that. And that's why I appreciate questions like that so much, because then everyone can hear others: "Ah, he feels the same way!" That alone is very, very valuable.

Yes, we hear this wise advice, for example from Soham, who is my spiritual Master. But when a situation like this arises, we still don't know what to do. All these wise things contradict each other in our minds.

The thing is: we can't plan such things in advance. You can't plan today what you'll feel like doing tomorrow. Of course you plan certain things. For example, I plan these Satsangs, online. And if I've planned a Satsang, then I'm there. I felt like planning this Satsang, which for me means: I'll do it. I will be there. But you have the freedom to decide whenever you want. You don't have to do it in advance. But our heads like to tell us: "I need to know, and I need to know now. I have to make a decision."

I like to say that the joy you feel or don't feel is a good guide. Then you realize: where am I going right now, right now, at 2pm Thursday afternoon? Maybe you're already dressed for your bike ride, everything is ready, and then you realize: "No, but I don't want to", and then you're here. But you'll only find out when the time comes. Or you have prepared everything for Satsang and feel completely spiritual and right, and then you notice how you keep looking outside and the birds are chirping, and you just want to get out into nature. You won't know until the time comes.

And I always want to encourage you and everyone else to trust your own feelings.

This is your guide.

I always want to encourage you and everyone else to trust your own feelings.

This is your guide.

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And of course, it's inspiring and helpful when other people say something, even me, but you can only rely on your own feeling, and that can only ever give you advice in the moment, now, not in advance.

So, there's never a problem. And that is 'putting God first'. That which Soham advised you; that which I sometimes say; that which Jesus advised. 'Putting God first' is not something fixed. It's not a rule that says: "When there's Satsang, you have to join in", or, as the Church used to say, or still says today: "When it's Sunday, you go to Church because God is the most important thing." No. Putting God first means: becoming still, turning inwards and seeing what is leading me there, and where it wants to lead me right now. That is God.

You can only rely on your own feeling, and that can only ever give you advice in the moment, now, not in advance.

So, there's never a problem. And that is 'putting God first'.

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And he is not predictable.

Putting God first means: becoming still, turning inwards and seeing what is leading me there, and where it wants to lead me right now.

That is God.
And he is not predictable.

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Thank you for your question.

Sloth, laziness and discipline

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Simone, should I continue, or do you have something?

[Simone:] Barbara would like to talk to you.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Oh, great. Hello Barbara, how nice.

[Barbara:] Hello Mikael. Something came to me about what you said: always decide in the moment... [Dhyan Mikael:] Yes.

[Barbara:] But then, what about this laziness that is so often there and that I actually want to get rid of? What about a certain discipline? So, if I had to decide every day in the morning whether to go meditate or not, then perhaps I wouldn't go very often if I decide at the moment, because often there are just moods or something that override that, or where you don't really know... [Dhyan Mikael:] Yes, thank you for your question. That's a great question. I'm very happy to answer it.

I do it myself in such a way that whatever is here right now – you just mentioned inertia or laziness – I allow that. It feels like this: if I don't give myself a kick and force myself to do something, then I'll be sitting here all day or possibly the whole week. That's how it feels, and we're convinced that we can't let that happen under any circumstances.

But my experience is this: if I allow how I feel – really allow it... When I feel this inertia, this listlessness, then I sit down on the sofa, but not with my handy to distract myself, but I sit down on the sofa, I close my eyes and really give this inertia space. I give it my full attention.

This inertia, which is then given space, doesn't stay as it is. I mean, if I've overworked myself for six months, then the inertia will certainly take days or weeks, but that's not what you're talking about. You are talking about this state of mind, and if you give it space, then it will change – after five minutes or after half an hour or maybe after an hour, although we have the feeling beforehand: "There's no way I'm going to let that happen. I won't get up from the sofa for the rest of the day."

But my personal experience is that this is not the case. It's the head that always puts its two cents in and says: "There's no way you're going to let that happen." And it's like that all day long, with everyone. And that's why my advice is: give it a try. But then really... as I said: don't distract yourself, but give what's here your full attention. That is also being here, in the moment. And as for meditating... I've had one rule in my life for six and a half years.

And by rule, I mean: I don't ask myself every day. The first thing I do in the morning is go to the toilet, and then I meditate, always, no matter how I feel. And I've never actually needed that determination. I've never had a morning where I didn't want to do that. But if I had a morning like that, I would still meditate, because I know that this is the one foundation I need in order to have all the freedom for the rest of the day to allow everything as it is, because that sets the direction in the early morning.

And my experience is that if it's clear: I'm going to meditate, then the question no longer arises later. Because meditation is a beautiful thing.

I mentioned in my last newsletter... quite surprisingly, I didn't plan this either... For over a week or so now, I've been meditating every evening once again. Not just once a week or so, now and then, but every day, and not because I think it's good for my spiritual progress – it certainly is, but that's not the motivation. The motivation is: I just like it. And once you start meditating and doing it every day, you quickly reach the point where you really like it. The question no longer arises. But you have to have experienced it for a while first.

Thank you, Barbara.

When your partner has a problem with you

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[Simone:] Mikael, I have a question from the chat that I would like to read out.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Yes, please.

[Simone:] Katharina asks: "I have the feeling that I don't know anything anymore, but somehow it feels wonderful and free. If my partner has problems with my spontaneity, what can I do?"

[Dhyan Mikael:] Thank you. Thank you, Katharina.

You're like me: I know less and less, and that feels sooo good. I used to think I had to know everything, and I thought I was so clever. Now I know less and less, less and less – and it's all getting easier and easier. So, I think it's great what you're reporting. That makes me very happy. That's a good direction.

And you ask: what can you do if your partner has problems with your spontaneity?

Actually, you don't have to do anything. You don't have a problem, he does. So, let me put it this way: he decides that he has a problem with your spontaneity, and then he has to deal with it. He could also like it, the spontaneity, or even admire it, or learn from you, or simply join in if he likes, or otherwise wish you a nice day. But if he decides to have a problem with it, then it's his business. That's the basis.

And if you can allow your partner to have a problem with you... If you don't try to prevent it, but if you're willing to have and feel the feelings that come with it – maybe you feel insecure or completely wrong – then you also won't have a problem with your partner having a problem with you. I know it's not that easy.

If you can allow your partner to have a problem with you...

If you don't try to prevent it, but if you're willing to have and feel the feelings that come with it – maybe you feel insecure or completely wrong – then you also won't have a problem with your partner having a problem with you.

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One funny sentence from my partner and I feel totally wrong, even though I know in my head that it's nonsense. But that's the way we are, us humans.

If you manage not to have a problem with your partner when they have a problem with you, and that means: if you don't have a problem with how you feel when he reacts to you... if these feelings are allowed to be there, these completely normal human feelings, then you will realize that the question you asked no longer arises at all. It will then sort itself out in a very interesting way, simply because you are no longer fighting. You no longer have a reason to fight. You feel the way you feel.

That's not always pleasant, but then you can be close to him and love him, even though he's in the mood he's in right now and even though you feel that way because of him. And then you will realize that there are suddenly completely new opportunities to dance together in such a difficult situation. I can't tell you how that works, but I can give you some advice – what I'm just saying – on how to deal with yourself, and the rest will then magically fall into place. You can't predict what will happen.

The most important thing when you're in a relationship is to be willing to let go of the other person again and again – in the good moments and in the difficult moments, always. And then, it's possible for us to be the way we really are. Then, you can be spontaneous when you feel like it.

The most important thing when you're in a relationship is to be willing to let go of the other person again and again – in the good moments and in the difficult moments, always.

And then, it's possible for us to be the way we really are.

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And if it doesn't suit him and you can let go of him inside... that has nothing to do with saying anything. If you can tell yourself inside: "Yeah, well, then he just has a problem. All right"... Then suddenly there's no more heaviness.

Play with it. You will have amazing, quite astonishing experiences if you don't try to prevent such a situation.

Thank you, Katharina. Thank you.

A stone on the crown chakra?

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[Simone:] Mikael, there are no further questions at the moment.

[Dhyan Mikael:] All right. Then I'll read out another email.

"I've been living for about two months – that's how long I've been meditating the Samarpan Meditation in the morning and evening – in the belief that if anyone can still heal my depression and anxiety caused by childhood trauma, it's you. And that's why I'm naturally a little hopeful at the moment. I've had the feeling every now and then over the last few weeks that something is different. I feel a bit healthier emotionally, a bit happier.

Here is a little story to illustrate this. While cleaning today, I heard and felt a certain part of a piece of Swiss music more beautifully than I have in decades, and I suspect that the crown chakra is involved." Yes, I suspect that too. "Now my questions: I have placed a small stone on the crown chakra as an experiment after circling with my hand up there, or as a substitute for it. This helps me to feel the location of the chakra more clearly.

Can you tell me something about this?" Yes, that's a great trick. At the beginning of Samarpan Meditation, you take your flat hand and place it on top of the crown chakra. The crown chakra is simply the top of the head, here, at the top. Then, you make three clockwise circles, and this activates this physical spot up there a little, and then you can feel it better, and then it is easier for us to be up there at this spot with our attention at the beginning of the meditation.

And there are many tricks that people use to make things easier for themselves when it is not quite so easy for them to stay up there with their attention. For example, I know people – in India they like to do this, the Indians who do Samarpan Meditation – they take a grain of rice and prick it into the skin up there, and then it sticks up there, and then you feel this little prick, and then it's easier to stay there with your attention.

Or I know a woman here in Germany who sews beautiful little bags filled with beans, beautifully decorated, for people who do Samarpan Meditation. The people then place the bag on top of their head, and this light weight up there at this spot makes it easier for people to feel this spot. I don't use anything like that. I can feel it without these kinds of things, but of course you can do that, there's no problem at all.

Meditation and antidepressants

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The second question: "I've been taking an antidepressant for over forty years. Over time, I have become physically and probably psychologically dependent on it, so that it is now almost impossible to stop taking it. What do you think about this dilemma?"

Well, I don't see a dilemma.

I would advise you to keep meditating and not to worry about the antidepressant you are taking. Just keep taking it. Just keep taking it.

A dilemma only arises if you now decide that it's bad to take this medication and that it needs to be discontinued now, if possible, but you can't, and then of course you have a problem. But there is no such problem. The medication is keeping you stable, you are living well, and you have now started meditating. There is no need to rush into anything or hurry in any way. On the contrary. When you start meditating, a new life begins. And in this life, in this new life, you will learn completely new things all by yourself and very gradually.

There is no need to rush into anything or hurry in any way.
On the contrary.

When you start meditating, a new life begins. And in this life, in this new life, you will learn completely new things all by yourself and very gradually.

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And it is good if you have the support you have had so far during this time. There is no contradiction between a deeply spiritual life and an antidepressant.

Meditation strengthens your soul, very gradually. And the medication you take helps your body, your nervous system, to remain stable. This is not a contradiction, not a dilemma. And just be infinitely patient with yourself. It may well be that things change completely with your depression and with the antidepressant you are taking, but give it time and don't wait for change. Just meditate, year in, year out. And when you look back on your life in a few years' time, you won't recognize it, the time we're in right now.

Counting your breath while meditating

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And there is a third question. "I also tried to be in the crown chakra and count the breath at the same time. I know this from Zen. I had the feeling that I could do both well at the same time. What can you say about that?"

I sometimes do that too, but not because I think it's good, but simply because... It's like this: my attention is simply in the crown chakra and nowhere else, but my mind, my thoughts, are then either occupied with work, or with some mistake I've made, or with something that's going on in my body, and I make sure that I'm sitting better or that I'm breathing better. And then I realize, "Oops, now I'm not paying attention to the crown chakra," and then I go back up there.

So, if you catch yourself counting your breath: all well and good. You are welcome to count your breath, but not during meditation. Just let it go, and go back up here with your attention. If you then realize later, a few moments or a few minutes later, that you have just started counting the breath again, then just go back to the crown chakra with your attention. You know, it's like this: Having your attention on the crown chakra is much more than just a trick. It's much more than just engaging the mind with something beneficial like observing the breath. It is infinitely more.

Paying attention to the breath is a real revolution in life for people who didn't know that before, but in comparison, the crown chakra is incredibly more powerful as a target of our attention. I would not combine it.

An old, deep fear of the soul

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But he has one more comment at the end of his email, which I would also like to read out.

"This morning, half-asleep before the alarm clock rang, I promptly had my incredibly deep soul fear again, which has been with me for almost my entire life, after actually feeling much better over the last two months. After meditating and then after a weak coffee, it quickly was almost completely gone again."

Yes, I know it too, the fear of the soul, it has been with me all my life.

Since I've been meditating, it's no longer there.

But if it did come – I always have room for it. And that's the beauty of meditation. Through Samarpan Meditation, you gradually discover a place within yourself where you experience: Wow, here I am safe. And then it suddenly becomes much easier for you to deal with these things that have always been part of your life and that were previously unmanageable for you, that have thrown you completely off track... Suddenly it's easier, and then these things come up and it's not as difficult as it used to be. It's like you suddenly have a foundation under your soul feet.

Through Samarpan Meditation, you gradually discover a place within yourself where you experience:

Wow, here I am safe.

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Yes, I'm glad to hear what you report. Thank you very much. Thank you.

feelings for no reason

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[Simone:] I have two new questions for you.

[Dhyan Mikael:] How nice, yes please.

[Simone:] I'll read the first one, it's from Jeanette Nicole.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Hello Jeanette Nicole.

[Simone:] "Hello Mikael. What do you do when nervousness or bad energy comes up for no reason at all?"

[Dhyan Mikael:] Thank you. Thank you for this question.

When feelings or energies come up for me, I don't ask why. You just say: "What do I do, when these feelings arise for no reason?" We often have the feeling that we know the reason, but this is almost never the case. We only know the trigger, but the feelings that are often triggered in us, for example by our partner, are much older than the relationship, only we usually have them quite well hidden, deep inside us.

And then, someone close to us comes along and says the wrong or the right thing, and then they suddenly appear. But they are ancient. And we never actually know the real reason, and we don't need to know it either. In fact, it's much better if you don't care about the reason at all. When I get a feeling like nervousness or restlessness, insecurity, fear, for example, then I feel it.

I am, as best I can, in my crown chakra; I am, as best I can, with myself; as best I can, I don't think about why I feel this way and what it means now and what will surely happen tomorrow because of it, but, as best I can, I feel the feeling, so naked, without meaning, without a story: without the story of why the feeling is there; without the story of what it means that this feeling is there.

I just let it be there.

And by letting all these thoughts go that are connected to the feeling, for example: what is the trigger? Why? Does it mean something? If you let that go, then, the feeling is suddenly something completely different. Then you can feel it. Then it's suddenly no longer a problem at all.

That's how I do it.

Thank you.

A Course in Miracles

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[Simone:] Then I'll read out the second question?

[Dhyan Mikael:] Yes, please, Simone.

[Simone:] It comes from Katharina, who incidentally also thanks you very much for your first answer: "Thank you, Mikael, what you say is so coherent. I thank you from the bottom of my heart." And then she asks: "Can you say anything about 'A Course in Miracles'?"

[Dhyan Mikael:] I don't know about A Course in Miracles myself. I know many people who have read it, who have done it or who ask me about it. I have never read or done it myself. What I can say is: if something interests you, if you realize: "Oh, that sounds good, that sounds promising", then take a closer look. Take a closer look.

As long as your interest lasts, follow it – that's what I do. And my interest, my curiosity, never led me to the Course in Miracles, and that's why I never bothered. But if I felt such an interest, then I would follow it, no matter what I thought about this Course in Miracles. I would just follow my gut feeling. And then, you'll find out what's hidden there for you.

And it's funny, you know: if you feel energy there, but you think: "Well, who knows? Let's ask Mikael what he has to say about it"... If I were to say now: "No, don't bother, it's no good"... If you're interested, you'll do it anyway. And that's a good thing. You might feel bad or wrong because I said something so stupid, but you would do it anyway, and that's a good thing.

And if you've heard about the Course in Miracles, but don't really feel like it, but you hear such great things from people close to you... and then you ask me and I say: "Yes, that's great, do it"... then you still might not do it, because you don't really feel like it. And that's a good thing. So: follow your own curiosity. That's a really, really good compass.

Follow your own curiosity. That's a really, really good compass.

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And you know, with things like that, there's a lot of things out there that are very, very helpful for some people and not helpful at all for other people. And you can tell what's for you by how you feel. I know people who thought this course was really, really great. I was never interested in it, and I'm sure I didn't miss anything, otherwise life would have led me there somehow. And you can rely on that.

So, you won't miss out on anything if you don't do something that everyone else raves about, but you don't feel any energy for. It's the same with Samarpan Meditation. I keep talking about Samarpan Meditation because I experience in my life what a wondrous, beneficial tool it is. And you may never have heard of it before, and you hear it and think: "Ah, that's interesting." You feel open to it, and then you just do it. But you don't do it because I say so, but because you feel open to it.

There's a lot of things out there that are very, very helpful for some people and not helpful at all for other people.

And you can tell what's for you by how you feel.

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Other people don't feel open to it at all, and for them it's nothing. Why is that? I don't know. Even Swamiji, the Indian Guru who brings this meditation into society – it's not from me, this meditation, I just talk about it; I got to know it from Swamiji – he himself says exactly the same thing. He says: "I simply tell you about it, I pass it on. Whoever accepts this meditation and picks it up, that's not my business," he says. And he tells everyone: "Try the meditation, for forty-five days.

This is a long enough time for someone to really start to have their own experience of it. And then you will see whether it is good for you or not. And if not, then just forget about it." That's what he says himself. So: follow your instincts, your curiosity. And don't worry if you don't feel that curiosity or openness to something, even though people you respect or like rave about certain things. Thank you for your question. Thank you, Katharina.

Follow your instincts, your curiosity.

And don't worry if you don't feel that curiosity or openness to something, even though people you respect or like rave about certain things.

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Dependencies and addiction

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[Simone:] I'll now read another question from Mukunda. And she writes: "Hi Dhyan. Do you have any experience with unhealthy dependencies or addictions? Do you have an impulse about this?"

[Dhyan Mikael:] A great question, thank you.

Well, addictions played a big part in my life, but on a small scale. I've never been a drug addict or anything like that, but I have years of experience with coffee, for example, and with wine, and I think the mechanics of all these addictions are always the same. It doesn't matter at all what you're addicted to.

An addiction works like this: you feel an attraction to something, let's say: wine. You want to drink wine; something draws you to it. You like it when you get a little drunk. You feel good, you are relaxed, you have fun with friends. That's one side of it. And on the other hand, there's the conviction: "I shouldn't be doing this. It's bad for me." And the moment you feel drawn to it, you are already beating yourself up for it. And these two forces pull back and forth, back and forth, all the time. Addiction arises from this.

The addiction is not that you're attracted to something like that. This is not what creates addiction. If you give yourself complete freedom to do what you want – complete freedom – then you drink as much as you want.

And because you don't reproach yourself, because you're totally involved in what you're doing, you experience what it's like, and sooner or later – usually sooner, it happens very, very quickly – you lose interest in it, because you then realize: "Okay, this feels nice, I'm getting drunk, this is wonderful", but at the same time you also feel a lot of other things that you don't like at all. And from this direct experience, without judgment, without struggle, without resistance, a very unique wisdom emerges all by itself, and at some point, you lose interest in it.

But if you try to stop, even though you feel drawn to it, then you reinforce the addiction. This energy that we give it by judging, by wanting to stop, by making ourselves out to be wrong about keeps the whole thing going, forever, as long as we don't stop judging.

There's Alcoholics Anonymous... they used to do it, they probably still do it today, I don't know... I've never been to one, but I heard that once. The first thing they do is: they sit down together in a circle, and then everyone says: "My name is so and so, and I'm an alcoholic, I drink." Just this acknowledgement: "This is how it is for me. That's it." And that's the first step towards healing. As I said, I don't have any personal experience, it's just coming to me now as I'm talking about it.

Addiction stops as soon as you stop fighting against what you feel. And with me... you asked if I had any experience with it. I would like to share my very specific experience with it now. For years, I really enjoyed drinking one or two, sometimes even three glasses of wine in the evening.

Addiction stops as soon as you stop fighting against what you feel.

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I thought it was great, I liked it and there wasn't really a problem. But I did notice that it wasn't really good for me. My sleep was of course disturbed, I wasn't as refreshed the next morning as usual, and gradually, over the years, the body becomes ill. Even rather small amounts of alcohol make it sick, and the head gets sick too. But I was very lucky to be with a Master, Soham, who advised me to do just that. What I've just told you about addiction, I learned from my Master. That's what he said, and I tried it out.

He then said: "Buy the wine that you like best", if you can afford it. "Buy a wine that tastes really good to you. And then, enjoy it as much as you can, and don't think that you're doing something wrong." Just be with what you're doing – completely and utterly. Don't think about it and then it's just a matter of time and it will disappear by itself. Not because you want to stop doing it. You have stopped trying to change it. But it stops at some point because you lose interest. That's true healing, so to speak.

It wasn't really difficult for me with wine, but what was really difficult for me was the coffee. I love good coffee. A really good roast of a dark espresso, freshly ground, brewed well, wonderful... I love this stuff. But it's devastating for me, for my body.

I have a body that is extremely sensitive to caffeine. If I have one coffee, then my sleep is affected for three days. The effects on my body are really extreme, and yet, I have not been able to stop for reasons of sanity. This doesn't work. And then, I did exactly the same thing. I knew it wasn't good for me. I knew it was damaging my energy, my sleep. It sabotages my day because I'm not so clear anymore, because I'm not well rested.

But I just enjoyed it as much as I could, again and again and again, and at some point, I lost interest in it. The desire was gone. That's when I sold my coffee machine that I had bought, a really nice one, so that the coffee would be really good. I sold everything. And then I thought: that's it now. A year later, I really got into it again, and then I got another machine, another second-hand one so it wouldn't be too expensive, and started all over again. And then I did the whole game again, until it stopped by itself.

And now I don't drink coffee anymore because I don't feel like it. If I felt like it, I'd drink one, but the desire is gone. That's the only way, and it happens by itself. By the way, you can accelerate the whole thing. Samarpan Meditation strengthens your ability to feel and to be here. It makes you more sensitive. And this process that I have just explained to you about these addictions becomes faster, easier, because meditation helps you not to judge, not to think about it, but simply to be here, and in no time at all something changes – but of its own accord, not because you want it to.

Finally, I would like to tell you a story I have told on this topic before, but I just like it so much. My Guru Swamiji, the one who brings this meditation, once spoke to alcoholics and he said exactly the same thing. He said exactly the same thing that my Master Soham advised me to do ten or fifteen years ago. So, Swamiji was with these alcoholics, they were all in a clinic, they were severely addicted, and all kinds of experts were invited, who then told the alcoholics their wisdom and tried to dissuade them from drinking alcohol.

Swamiji then said to these alcoholics: "So, listen: if you drink a bottle of booze today: drink two tomorrow. Don't try to stop drinking. Drink twice as much for all I care." And immediately, they all liked him. Until then, they had heard for hours: "Yes, that's bad", and: "drink less", and "try this and that". And they all thought it was terrible, and they all fell asleep. But when Swamiji said this, they all hooted and were all wide awake and were fully there. He said: "Just drink twice as much. Don't try to change yourselves. But: meditate." And he meant that literally.

He said: "Don't try to change. Don't try to drink less. If you have to, drink more. But: meditate." And he invited everyone to simply try out these forty-five days that I spoke about earlier and meditate. And after these forty-five days – which is not a long time – ninety percent of these people were dry, and the doctors in this clinic could not explain how this was possible. The change that happens then happens from the inside out because you have stopped fighting yourself.

Instead, you turn to your true self, your soul, and this is then strengthened, and as a result, your sensitivity becomes stronger and your ability to perceive grows. And then such problems solve themselves, all by themselves, whereas what we normally try to do – tackle it with reason, with willpower – has exactly the opposite effect. It makes things worse.

Thank you for your question. I think it's such a great topic. There's no need to fight yourself, no matter what it is in your life right now that's bothering you. But meditate. It will help you.

There's no need to fight yourself, no matter what it is in your life right now that's bothering you.

But meditate.

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Who decides on relationships?

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[Simone:] Mikael, I have received two new questions that I will be happy to read out.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Yes, how nice. Thank you.

[Simone:] Brigitte asks: "Hello Mikael, does life decide everything that happens, including relationships?"

[Dhyan Mikael:] That's a nice question. Life decides everything that happens, especially about relationships. You have no say at all in relationships – nothing. Look, you can't control who you find attractive or not. You can't control who gives you sleepless nights and who doesn't.

It's usually like this: we have a relationship, and then it gets difficult, and then we think we have the wrong partner. We are convinced that we made the wrong decision and chose the wrong partner. But we have never chosen – well, I certainly haven't. I never chose in my life; I could only watch in amazement. And then, later, a few years later, ten, twenty years later, you can see: "Yes, I never made that decision." But then you can also see how good it was and what you learned.

Relationships are not there to make us feel good. Relationships are not there for us to have fun. Of course we have fun, especially at the beginning, but everything in this life, everything, is given to us so that we can grow.

And everything that becomes difficult for us, or is difficult or painful, we grow especially through that. This does not mean that you have to deliberately cause yourself difficulties. This is not necessary at all. Of course, we try to make things as pleasant as possible for ourselves. But if you have difficulties in your relationship, it doesn't mean that something is wrong. This just means that there's something for you to discover. There is something for you to grow from.

Words of love and tenderness

Link to topic in video at 57m23s

At this point, I would like to read out a letter that I received on this very subject, and it fits so well that I would like to digress for a moment. Let me see if I can find it right away. I'm getting more and more handwritten letters now, which I think is really, really great.

I encourage anyone who wants to do so to not only write to me by email so that I can reply, but I particularly appreciate handwritten letters, and I also reply by hand – apart from the fact that I always do the actual reply in a video, of course – because when you write by hand, you write differently than when you type on a computer keyboard.

You write all the things you didn't even plan to write. Then, the soul writes, and that is simply wonderful.

I'm just going to see if I can find it right here.

Yes, I have it here. "Almost two years ago, I experienced a break-up that shook me to the core. My boyfriend left me from one day to the next because he fell in love with another woman. This event threw me completely off track, both mentally and physically. I am now much better, and I can also recognize the gift that life has given me. I have learned to turn inwards, to allow my feelings and to accept myself in all my weakness. To discover that nothing happens, even if I die inside a hundred times from pain, grief and fear.

Surrendering to all of this has created depth, peace and a new zest for life for me." This is what I mean: it is precisely through relationships that we experience our own weakness and our own insecurity. This is touched by it, always, somehow, and through this we discover infinitely valuable things for ourselves. Unfortunately, this is what life is for. "After this experience, I am now concerned with the following questions: what meaning do words of love and tenderness have?"

It is precisely through relationships that we experience our own weakness and our own insecurity.

This is touched by it, always, somehow, and through this we discover infinitely valuable things for ourselves.

Link to quote in video at 59m32s

Words of love and tenderness have no meaning at all – at least no meaning that needs to be taken seriously in any way. When a man tells you: "I love you, I want to be with you forever, you are the most beautiful in the world", he is simply describing how he feels right now, in this moment.

Words of love and tenderness have no meaning at all – at least no meaning that needs to be taken seriously in any way.

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And if you don't need the man... if you don't depend on it, if your well-being doesn't depend on having another person with you forever so that you never have to feel alone or lost or weak again, then it's no problem at all that he might say completely different things tomorrow.

"What is the significance of love relationships if we humans are so volatile?"

Relationships used to be a purely practical matter. People had to live together because they couldn't do it alone. It is a very practical matter. Very few people had love relationships. People lived together because it was helpful. And if you liked each other or even loved each other, that is of course a particularly good thing.

But in our modern age, we have this romantic idea that I as a person find my happiness in a relationship; that it's almost the goal of life to merge with another person and become happy together. And that's not true. That's how everyone thinks. All the movies are about it. All books are about it.

In our modern age, we have this romantic idea that I as a person find my happiness in a relationship; that it's almost the goal of life to merge with another person and become happy together.

And that's not true.

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And that's what nature makes us feel when the sex drive matures in young people. Then we have the feeling: "I want to go to the other person. That's where I find fulfillment." But we don't find it there. Never.

Relationships are there to help us grow in ourselves, and they are infinitely useful. The closer we get to another person, the more we discover our hidden weaknesses; the more we discover all the illusions we carry around with us. This has nothing to do with the other person; they only help us to discover this.

The closer we get to another person, the more we discover our hidden weaknesses;
the more we discover all the illusions we carry around with us.

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Are we capable of unconditional love?

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"You talked about unconditional love in one of your videos. Are we even capable of it?

No, of course not. That's why we're here. We are here in this life to learn, to discover who we really are. And we discover that by accepting everything we experience – unconditionally; by ceasing to judge; by ceasing to choose. That is the return to paradise.

We are here in this life to learn, to discover who we really are.

And we discover that by accepting everything we experience – unconditionally; by ceasing to judge; by ceasing to choose.

That is the return to paradise.

Link to quote in video at 1h03m41s

And through this state of mind, we discover our true inner self: this acceptance of everything, this 'yes' to everything – and that feels like unconditional love for someone else. When a Jesus looks at you, who does not judge, who does not choose... He only sees beauty, and you feel that, and you think: "Wow, that is love. That's unconditional love." And that's what we learn in this life. But we don't learn it so that we can finally have a real partnership. We learn it in the course of our journey of discovery back to Heaven, on our journey of discovery back to ourselves.

And then we learn to be unconditional; to be able to say 'yes' to everything, and then we are capable of unconditional love, and then we are also capable of relationships that are completely different from the relationships that people normally know, but then we no longer need the relationships. Then they are no longer important. They are still there, but the relationship is not the motive for this journey, but a kind of side effect. I think that was all, what I wanted to read from the letter... Now it's fallen down. That probably means I'm done with it.

Through this state of mind, we discover our true inner self: this acceptance of everything, this 'yes' to everything –

and that feels like unconditional love for someone else.

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After the breakup

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[Simone:] Mikael, then I have a related question for you.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Great, that's a great topic too. It's a topic that moves us all so much, and that's a good thing. This topic is the topic that ultimately makes us look inwards, because at some point we discover: nothing out there works the way I imagine it does. Yes, please – I interrupted you.

[Simone:] Mike asks: "Hi, how can I deal with myself better after a break-up? I experience anxiety, anger at her, and great loneliness, and I find it very difficult to allow my feelings."

[Dhyan Mikael:] Yes, thank you.

Yes, what happens after a break-up is that we are thrown back on ourselves. We are in a relationship, and a relationship can be a wonderful distraction. It fulfills us. We don't have to worry about all these things that were waiting inside us. And then the relationship is over, and it's all waiting for us. It has nothing to do with your former partner: the feelings you have now were there before.

And now you have an infinitely valuable opportunity. It's more difficult with a partner, but when you're alone, you can devote yourself entirely to these things. Whenever you are not working or doing other things to take care of your daily life, you can turn to these things in a way that is beneficial and possible for you. You can go for a walk with your loneliness, for example. Go for a walk with it, out to the Danube, along the riverbank... I don't know where you live, I have no idea.

These feelings are knocking and only want one thing from you: your attention. Nothing more.

These feelings are knocking and only want one thing from you: your attention. Nothing more.

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And as long as you refuse this attention, perhaps out of fear or inability, for so long they will keep coming back. And at some point, you will start to invite them in, this fear, this loneliness.

I do it like this: when a really intense feeling comes, I just let it come as close as it wants to. I rest as best I can where I am. The crown chakra is a really nice place where you can settle down and then you just let these feelings come, like shy animals... very close, again and again.

That makes you whole. You will discover that if you practice this for some time, again and again, again and again. And this time you're experiencing right now, Mike, is a key for you.

Then you just let these feelings come, like shy animals... very close, again and again.

That makes you whole.

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Making peace with loneliness is the first step to freedom. That's how it was in my life. The first thing my Master taught me was to be alone. It was so hard for me. But life forces us to do it at some point. It was the same for me.

And if you take this opportunity... I don't want to say what you discover then; you discover it yourself... But that really is a key. And how do you do that? Once again, very practically: take your time, be patient. Whenever it is easy for you, at a time when you have time, in a place where you feel comfortable: invite the feelings that are inside you.

Invite the loneliness. Stop wanting it to go away for a moment, but say: Okay, now... I'm sorry I've been pushing you away all day, I can't help it, but now, now come. And do it again and again, again and again – not so that it goes away, but so that it can come closer still, closer still.

Invite the loneliness.

Stop wanting it to go away for a moment, but say:

Okay, now... I'm sorry I've been pushing you away all day, I can't help it, but now, now come.

Link to quote in video at 1h11m57s

My Master Soham described it like this: "When you start being kind to your loneliness, turning towards it, letting it be there, no longer wanting it to go away, then, loneliness stops being lonely."

It really is as if you are constantly pushing this poor loneliness out into loneliness because you want nothing to do with it. And when you start to turn towards it, then something magical happens: it's as if you heal yourself by taking care of this loneliness now, for the first time, simply by letting it be there. Forever.

When you start to turn towards it, then something magical happens:

it's as if you heal yourself by taking care of this loneliness now, for the first time, simply by letting it be there.

Forever.

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I used to be so afraid of loneliness, my whole life was defined by it, and I didn't know it. I only realized it at times like the ones you're experiencing right now. And today I'm no longer lonely. Sometimes loneliness comes anyway, and when it does, it's allowed to be there. Today, she is my best friend. It's still difficult when it comes, but I know... I've experienced it so many times. I know: it's all gifts.

When I invite her, when I let her be there, it makes me happy, strong, big, wide, whole. I'm telling you: this is the key on the way to Heaven. You have it in your hand right now. Meditating makes things easier. When you meditate, you rest in a place where it's easier to feel connected, especially in such difficult times, even if you don't know what you're connected to. Thank you, Mike. I am with you. I know how you feel. I know how you feel.

Thank you.

Hate – resistance against oneself?

Link to topic in video at 1h15m20s

[Simone:] I have another question from Ramona, Mikael, which I'll read out now.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Yes please. Hello Ramona. Nice to have you here.

[Simone:] "Dear Dhyan Mikael. On the subject of fighting against yourself: could you say something about the energy of fear and hatred? And from your point of view, can hatred be equated with resistance, or fighting against oneself or life? Thank you."

[Dhyan Mikael:] Yes, I think you can really say that. When you hate, it's a very particularly determined kind of resistance against yourself; against something you experience inside yourself. You then usually hate the trigger or what you think is the trigger, and that is why many traditions advise you to forgive. By forgiving the one I hate, the one I think is to blame for my misery, I let go. And by letting go of this story: "You are to blame. You are bad"... This story ends when I forgive, and then I am thrown back on myself.

That is the crucial thing. The other person was never to blame for my misery, never, but we don't know that. You can imagine it like this: we have come into this life because we are still carrying around some things deep inside our souls that we still have to make peace with; things that we are afraid of, things that we still consider to be a problem. And then we have to experience them, because experiencing them gives us the opportunity to accept them and then discover: "Wow! There's nothing to be afraid of."

By forgiving the one I hate, the one I think is to blame for my misery, I let go.

Link to quote in video at 1h16m35s

Once we've done that with everything we're carrying around with us, then we're free.

And hate is basically a tactic to distract us from ourselves in a very intense way and only look at the other. And as soon as you stop hating, you discover everything inside you that you were actually running away from.

Hate is basically a tactic to distract us from ourselves in a very intense way and only look at the other.

And as soon as you stop hating, you discover everything inside you that you were actually running away from.

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Thank you for the question. Thank you, Ramona.

The whole world is against me

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[Simone:] I have one more question, Mikael.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Yes, please.

[Simone:] It's from Paramita.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Hello Paramita. Nice to have you here.

[Simone:] She writes: "Dear Mikael, when I want to love my soul, the whole world turns against me. If I submit, that is, do what the world seems to want me to do, my soul stops shining. And actually, I only live when my soul is shining. I feel totally boycotted. Or am I boycotting myself? Am I stretching my goals? I can't live what is shown to me in or through meditation. It only seems to apply to others.

I have the feeling that I'm not really in the world at all. Maybe what I'm writing is nonsense. Can I harm someone if I follow my soul? I'm afraid to ask this question. As I write, I have the intuition that everything is a question of fear and that I am at the very beginning of my spiritual path. Maybe you are giving the answer: accept everything. But I always run my head against the wall and want to understand. And I just don't understand. Best regards."

[Dhyan Mikael:] Thank you, Paramita.

Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about.

We can't understand. And we can't understand our soul either. And we don't know what our soul is advising us either. And we also don't know what our soul wants. And we also don't know what the others want. And everything you have written is not true. But that's how it is for all people, not just you.

We can't understand.

And we can't understand our soul either.

And we don't know what our soul is advising us either. And we also don't know what our soul wants.

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We can do one thing... You know, it's like this: we're blind and we don't know anything. We just don't know anything. And we meditate, but we don't know what that means either. My advice to you is: know nothing. It is quite seductive... You start meditating, you feel a certain way, and immediately your head thinks: now I know what my soul wants! And already we have the next plan, already we have the next idea of what I need to do to finally get my life right.

We're blind and we don't know anything. We just don't know anything.

And we meditate, but we don't know what that means either.

My advice to you is: know nothing.

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None of that is true.

You start meditating, you feel a certain way, and immediately your head thinks: now I know what my soul wants! And already we have the next plan, already we have the next idea of what I need to do to finally get my life right.

None of that is true.

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Not knowing is difficult. It feels like being naked.

Not knowing is difficult. It feels like being naked.

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Life is like a dance.

You know, my life isn't free of problems because I finally figured out how to do the things right so I do what my soul wants. But my life is free of problems because I stopped believing I know how it's supposed to be right now. And then I look, "Ah, what's up now?

My life isn't free of problems because I finally figured out how to do the things right so I do what my soul wants.

But my life is free of problems because I stopped believing I know how it's supposed to be right now.

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How can I dance with the world, with my neighbors, with family, with God, very quietly, very awkwardly."

Look, I'm connected to you right now, and I get the image of a little girl standing in a meadow of flowers with no plan at all and nothing going on and no idea what this life is for and no plan at all. She can just enjoy the butterflies and the flowers.

Because when we try to do something right, it becomes difficult. And when we try to do life right spiritually, it becomes really difficult.

When we try to do something right, it becomes difficult.

And when we try to do life right spiritually, it becomes really difficult.

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When you meditate, you don't meditate in order to finally understand what your soul wants. That's not the point.

When you meditate, you do it to forget everything that's bothering you. You let go of it all. The difficulty with other people, your inability to get your life together, your inability to grow spiritually, your inability to meditate properly. You let go of all that. You don't know anything. And after meditating, you know the very least.

When you meditate, you don't meditate in order to finally understand what your soul wants. That's not the point.

When you meditate, you do it to forget everything that's bothering you.

You let go of it all.

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It's not about getting clarity and understanding yourself or your soul better.

You don't know anything. And after meditating, you know the very least.

It's not about getting clarity and understanding yourself or your soul better.

Link to quote in video at 1h25m30s

Paramita, it's like this: the less you know, the more your soul is in charge.

The soul is getting stronger. But that doesn't mean that we then feel clearer and clearer and better and think: Oh wow, now I've got my life together. The opposite is the case. You know less and less. You feel more and more like a beginner. You feel more and more incompetent. Life happens more and more by itself. This is your soul. It's almost as if you can't know your soul and what your soul wants.

The less you know, the more your soul is in charge.

The soul is getting stronger.

But that doesn't mean that we then feel clearer and clearer and better and think: Oh wow, now I've got my life together.

The opposite is the case.

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And as soon as you know it, you know: that's not it.

It's almost as if you can't know your soul and what your soul wants.

And as soon as you know it, you know: that's not it.

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Enjoy the moment. If you can go for a walk, enjoy the sunshine. If you have work to do, go to work. Do your job to the best of your ability. If you have to deal with colleagues, deal with them as best as you can. If you meditate, do it as best as you can. When you are alone, be alone as best as you can.

It's as if every moment stands on its own – as if there is no life, as if there is no path.

It's as if every moment stands on its own –

as if there is no life, as if there is no path.

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There's no need to worry; certainly not with you.

Thank you for writing. I'm very glad you're here. Thank you.

Write to me if you have a question

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I see it's two minutes to half. I'm afraid we'll have to stop with the questions now.

I want to say something else about the questions: I still have a lot of letters lying here that I haven't answered yet, and I want to tell you: I'm so happy about the questions. They are all, every single one, so touching. I still have some questions that have been waiting for a very long time. I will answer every single question in a Satsang or in a video as well as by email or letter. It just takes a while. If you haven't received an answer yet, it doesn't mean that I haven't read your letter or email.

It's just taking a while – forgive me. And if you have a question and there hasn't been enough time here in Satsang, just write to me. As I said, it may take a while, but these questions are so valuable to me and to everyone else. I haven't gotten a single question in this one year of making videos now that could not have been asked by everybody else as well. We are all in the same boat. That's why I thank you and you guys for every single question.

About the meditation

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So, and now I invite you to join me and everyone who wants to meditate the Samarpan Meditation. If you don't know it yet, I'll briefly explain how it works. What I'm doing here is simply saying the most important things. There's actually not that much to say about it, because this meditation is very, very simple. But if you do it regularly every day, it has very fundamental effects that are simply fantastic.

I don't want to say too much about it now because we're running out of time, but I do that in many of my videos. You can also find videos on my website which are almost exclusively about Samarpan Meditation. Samarpan Meditation doesn't come from me, it's not my meditation, it comes from Shivkrupanand Swamiji – that's my Indian Guru; he brought it, and I simply pass it on. And there are also proper official introductions to this meditation from the people of Samarpan Meditation Germany.

You can take part online or on site. These are very nice, short events that cost nothing. If you feel like it, you can take part and then learn very interesting things about the meditation. I can only recommend that to anyone. If you would like to take part in such an introduction, you can find the information and links on my website, on the Meditation page, so you'll find it very easy to get there. And now, I'll tell you how it works.

During this meditation, we simply sit there for half an hour with our eyes closed. It doesn't really matter how you sit. I prefer to sit cross-legged because it allows me to sit upright so comfortably; in this way, wit is very easy for me. If your spine is straight and not leaning, then I find that particularly comfortable for meditating, but if you like to sit leaning, that's okay too. These outwardly aspects are all irrelevant. I like to sit cross-legged, but that's completely unimportant. Sit however you like.

But if you can't sit with your bottom on the floor, then make sure that at least your feet are on the floor. This is good for grounding, and it supports the meditation. As I said, the outward aspects are not that important. The only important thing in this meditation is what we do with our attention. We take our attention, and we have it up here, at the top of the head. The Indians call this place the crown chakra, and this is where we rest our attention. That sounds very simple at first – and it is.

But you will notice: if you rest your attention there... it works for a few seconds, maybe even a few minutes, and then you notice how your thoughts suddenly turn to a beautiful girl or to work or to something else. And then you notice this, and then you very gently bring your attention back to where it belongs during this meditation. You don't need to reproach yourself, it's not a problem. So, this meditation is not about doing it right. It's just about bringing your attention up here again and again.

The attention doesn't stay there. That is normal. But by returning to it again and again, again and again, that what is important happens. At the beginning of the meditation, we take the flat of our hand, place it up there, and then the hand makes three clockwise circles up there. This activates this area up there a little and we can feel it better. This makes it easier for us to focus our attention there at the beginning. Then, when we start, I say the so-called Soul Mantra, which goes like this: "I am a holy soul.

I am a pure soul." This reminds us of what this whole life is about: this path back to our soul, to that which we do not know and of which we have no idea. I repeat that three times. You can then repeat it as well. And after I have repeated this mantra three times, we just sit there in silence for half an hour – or twenty-six minutes now – and do nothing else; no music, nothing. And at the very end, I bring you back from meditation with a sentence and then, Satsang is over. So, let's just do that together.

Meditation

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Sit down comfortably. Close your eyes. Take your flat hand and place it on top of your head. The hand makes three clockwise circles.

Now bring your hand down again very, very slowly. Your eyes remain closed.

And now I say the soul mantra three times.

I am your Holy Soul. I am a Pure Soul.

I am a Holy Soul.

I am a Pure Soul.

I am a Holy Soul.

I am a Pure Soul.

Thank you for meditation.

You can now slowly open your eyes again.

This May is a kind of anniversary month for me. Almost exactly one year ago I started the videos. There will be four Satsangs with me this month. Today was the first one. Next Tuesday evening there will be the normal Online Satsang, and you are cordially invited. And at Whitsun, on Whitsun Sunday and on Whitsun Monday, again in the afternoon at 2 pm like today, there will be two Intensive Satsangs with meditation, and you are cordially invited to join in. I look forward to seeing you.

Thank you for being there.

I love you.