New Year Intensive: Online Satsang of December 31, 2024

[Dhyan Mikael:] Welcome Satsang, welcome to this year's New Year's Intensive.

I am happy you are here. Wonderful.

We'll have this two-hour Satsang this afternoon, and another one tomorrow afternoon, the first afternoon of the new year, and you're welcome to join tomorrow as well.

Yes, and I would like to give you the opportunity to celebrate this new year in a different way than usual.

When you look back on the past year, don't look back and see what you did right and wrong and what was good and bad, but simply be grateful – for everything: also for the pain, also for the difficult things and especially for the things you don't understand. And when you look ahead to the new year, I suggest you do also this differently, just like me: without plans.

I mean, there's nothing wrong with planning, but without that personal... how should I say... without this desire to get better, this desire to change, but to go into the new year with the knowledge that you already have, that you already have today: that everything you will experience will be good even if you don't understand it; even if it might be difficult for you. I know that sounds a little different from what other people say, but I invite you to do so.

And if you have any questions about this or any other questions about your life or your spiritual path, then I invite you to ask them here today in the two Satsangs, in this Intensive. You can do it either in writing via the chat in the Zoom broadcast or on YouTube. But you can also talk to me directly on Zoom if you like. So, we'll just start straight away. Simone, do you have something you can read out or should I read something out?

[Simone:] Dear Mikael, I have the beginning of a question, but I think there's more to come. I think we'd better wait a little longer.

Looking the other person in the eye

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[Dhyan Mikael:] Yes, fine. Thank you very much. Then I will now read out a question that came to me by email.

"I have problems looking people in the eye for any length of time during conversations. I always have to avoid it because it is uncomfortable. It's the same with people I've known for a long time. It didn't used to be an issue, but now it is for me. Why is that? What can I do about it? When I avoid eye contact, it seems rude. It seems as if I am disinterested in the person. The easiest way for me to have a conversation is to go for a walk next to each other, but that's often not possible. Please tell me something about this."

Thank you, thank you for the question, and that seems to be a very ordinary, mundane question, but there are actually no ordinary, mundane questions. Every question actually has a spiritual core, and so does this one. That's why I am happy about the question. I feel exactly the same way.

In the past, looking people in the eye wasn't an issue for me at all. I even enjoyed it. And a long time ago, there was also a phase when I first came into contact with spirituality, when I experienced how people loved to stare into each other's eyes for an infinitely long time. I went along with it too, but I can't do it anymore.

And Swamiji, the Guru whose disciple I am, and the Guru who brings Samarpan Meditation, which I talk about so often, to society, once said something about it. He said, through the eyes we absorb the energy of the other person.

Through the eyes – I am not sure now whether he said that too or whether that's my own experience... For me, it's like inviting the other person's karma to me, through the eyes. And that's why, when you've become more sensitive, you find it unpleasant, with all people – even with the people you love, because they also have their negativity. They also have their karma to carry.

We absorb the other person's energy through our eyes. For me, it's as if I am inviting their karma to me through my eyes. That's why you find it unpleasant, even with the people you love, because they also have their negativity. They also have their karma to carry.

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I no longer look people in the eye, but I do it in a way that they don't even notice. I look people right between the eyes, right here at this point between the eyebrows. Then I can see the person's entire face, the facial expression, I can also see the eyes, but I don't look directly into the eyes. And then I feel comfortable, I feel safe, I feel close to the other person, but I stay with myself and I don't feel this transmission, this energetic transmission.

And I find that very, very helpful. And I am like you: it didn't used to be an issue for me, but at some point, when you've learned to get closer to yourself, when you've started to meditate, then you become more sensitive, you become more open, you become more sensitive to subtlety, and at some point, one starts to notice what you're talking about.

Thank you for the question.

Being happy together again without breaking up

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Simone, should I go on?

[Simone:] No, I have a question now, Mikael, I am happy to read it out now. It comes from Brigitte.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Hello Brigitte. I am happy you're here.

[Simone:] "Dear Mikael, I've been with my partner for five years and we've been living under one roof for three years. In the beginning, when we had two households, it was very nice and filled with love and joy. But for some time now, we've been living in a shared flat. He is no longer nice to me. I have the feeling that everything has died out between us. We no longer have anything to say to each other and nobody dares to talk about it. This state of affairs depresses me. I don't know whether it wouldn't be better to separate. Please share your views with me."

[Dhyan Mikael:] Thank you. Thank you for your question.

Yes, I can tell you two things. One is: before you move in with someone, you only share the special moments. You have your everyday life, all the everyday things, and you do them all on your own. And then, at the weekend or on special days or in between, you meet up with your loved one and then you are completely focused on him and everything is special.

And when you move in together, it's different. Then you share your everyday life, and that's something completely different.

Then you share all the things that are infinitely normal, about which there is nothing to say.

And that is something special. That's where the value of the relationship really starts: getting to know each other in this everyday life. That's when you get to know the other person for who he really is – and yourself too, of course. But something else happens when you start living together. Before you moved in together, you were in love, you thought your partner was really great and you had a tendency to focus all your attention on the person you were in love with.

Before you move in together, you only share the special moments. You do the everyday things on your own. In between, you meet up with your loved one and everything is special. When you move in together, you share your everyday life, all the things you don't have to talk about. And that's something special. That's when the relationship really starts.

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And as long as you're not living together, you're fine because you only see each other occasionally. If you have your attention completely with your partner and not with yourself, then that's not a good thing. It always leads to problems. But as long as you're not living together, you don't notice this because you only see each other occasionally, and in between, you have your everyday life alone, and then you always return to yourself Even if you can't – despite this infatuation, despite this tendency to be out there with your attention and not with yourself.

But then you move in together, and then you have your attention on your partner all the time. You lose yourself out there, so to speak. You're no longer with yourself. You no longer do the things that are important to you. You stop doing things that you did as a matter of course when you were living alone. And without really realizing it, you expect all these things from your partner.

If your attention is all on your partner and not on you, then that's not a good thing. It always leads to problems. But as long as you're not living together, you don't notice it because you only see each other occasionally and you have everyday life alone in between, and that's when you always come back to yourself.

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And that doesn't work. It can't work. And both do it. Both partners normally have their full attention on the other, and that can't work, and both partners then expect the other to give me what I need.

Yes, and that can't work, it doesn't work well. And that's why relationships become difficult so quickly once you've lived together for a few years.

But you can solve it very easily.

Start turning your attention back to yourself. Stop looking at what he does and what he doesn't do, but come back to yourself with your feeling. Be with yourself with your attention. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't talk to him or not do anything with him anymore, but perhaps you have a subtle feeling for what I am talking about.

You come into the room where he is right now, maybe he's in the kitchen and you enter the room, and you can now be completely with him with your attention: how he looks, what mood he's in, what he says – or you can enter the room and still be completely in yourself with your attention, with your feeling.

Then you go into the room and you greet him or talk to him or cook with him, but you are with yourself. And if you bring your energy and your attention back to yourself in this way, some fundamental things will change without you discussing any problems with him.

And then a lot of things happen at the same time without you really being able to see it directly. I say this now from my own experience of many decades of practicing this. When you start to return your attention to yourself, you quickly become happier because you notice again what you need, and you take care of it.

Maybe you want to go for a walk and you ask him: "Hey, do you want to go for a walk? I feel like it, I need it now." And he says, "No, I don't feel like it." And then you think: "Okay, he doesn't want to. Then I'll go on my own", and then you look forward to the walk, and then you do it, as a matter of course. It starts with little things.

And it immediately becomes easier for you because you are now giving yourself what you need again. And at the same time, and it's totally exciting: when one of two partners starts to take their energy back to themselves, where it belongs, it's contagious. It literally forces the other partner, who knows nothing about it, to do the same for themselves. And it's as if you then unmingle; as if you then become independent again, but without all-night conversations, without fruitless discussions, but simply by taking care of your attention and your energy.

When one partner starts to take their energy back to themselves, where it belongs, it forces the other partner, who knows nothing about it, to do the same. It's like unraveling and becoming independent again, but without all-night talks – just by taking care of your attention.

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It is an internal matter, just by yourself.

And I would like to add a third thing. Maybe you don't realize that this happens, that in a relationship you have so much attention on the other person. And perhaps you are also not aware that this automatically creates a lot of expectations towards the other person, on a small and large scale.

But if you return to yourself and bring your power, your energy, back to yourself – or as my spiritual Master Soham once put it: when you shift your center back into yourself; it's with your partner right now, but you bring it back to yourself, to where it belongs – then you stop expecting things from your partner. And that changes everything.

When you come back to yourself and bring your power, your energy, back to yourself, then you stop expecting things from your partner. And that changes everything.

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Normally we move in together, and without either partner knowing it, you have a lot of expectations of each other, and when you share everyday life together, that becomes more and more and more. But when you stop expecting something from the other person, it's like a huge relief for them. Then they can breathe again. Then they can enjoy you again. It will change everything, simply by you returning to yourself.

Unbeknownst to them, the partners each have a lot of expectations of each other, and as you share your everyday lives with each other, this becomes more and more. But when you stop expecting something from each other, it's like an endless relief for the other person. Then they can breathe again and enjoy you – simply by you returning to yourself.

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You know, many people think they have to move out again so that they can have it as nice as before. But you can have that while you're living together. That's the secret: staying yourself, and staying with yourself while living with someone else. That's a challenge, and that's a challenge that most people don't know about, and also a challenge that most people don't pass. But you can learn it. You just have to give it a try. I invite you to do so.

And if you have any more questions about this, either now, in these two days or in the next weeks when you try it out: I am happy to be by your side. I've tried what I am suggesting to you here myself, over and over again, and I couldn't have a relationship any other way today. It would be impossible for me. But I live like this and that's why my relationship is free of problems, simply because I stay with myself, and my partner does the same. Thank you, Brigitte. I am happy you're here.

Many people think they have to move out again to have it as nice as before. But you can have that while you're living together. That's the secret: staying yourself, and staying with yourself while living with someone else. You can learn that. You just have to try it out. I invite you to do so.

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The fear of the fear

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[Simone:] Then I'll read out the next question, Mikael, it comes from Black.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Hello Black, nice to have you here. I am delighted.

[Simone:] "Hello Mikael, I am afraid of feelings like fear coming up. Can you say something about that? Thank you."

[Dhyan Mikael:] Yes, I'd love to. Thank you, Black. Yes, feelings are really a thing, especially for us men.

Just be where you are. Make friends with the fear of the fear: That's actually a thought, but start with that little fear – and don't worry about it. The feeling will come at some point. You know, it's like this: you always only have to deal with what's here right now. Right now, the fear of the fear is there. Okay, then deal with the fear of the fear. You don't need to think about the fear that will come one day.

Feel this little fear that is here right now. And at some point, another feeling will come, and when the other feeling is here, then deal with it; then feel that, as best you can.

You only ever have to deal with what is here right now. Now the fear of the fear is there – then deal with it. You don't need to think about the fear that will come one day. Feel this little fear that is here now. And at some point, another feeling will come, and then deal with it; then feel that, as best you can.

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My experience is: the feeling that's here, I can deal with that. Everything that is happening now, I can deal with that. Everything I imagine is impossible. Everything I imagine that may come, that could come, is too big, too difficult. That is the nature of thoughts. Therefore my advice: only deal with what is here for you right now, and ignore all thoughts of the future.

The feeling that is here, I can deal with that. Everything that is happening now, I can deal with that. Everything I imagine is impossible, is too big, too difficult. That is the nature of thoughts. So my advice: only deal with what is here for you right now, and ignore all thoughts of the future.

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Ignore the thoughts that tell you something is going to be very, very difficult, such as an imagined big fear, but also ignore the thoughts of something very, very beautiful, where you are looking forward to something. Be here. Deal with what is here now and see if what I am saying here is true. See if it is true, that everything that is here, that is really here, is bearable, or if it is really killing you. Take a look. This is my challenge to you this afternoon. Thank you, Black. Thank you for your question.

Father-Son Relationship

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[Simone:] I'll keep reading then, Mikael, there are a lot of questions today.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Oh, how nice, that makes me very happy.

[Simone:] From Thomas.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Hello Thomas, welcome.

[Simone:] "Dear Mikael, I have an almost thirteen-year-old son. He lives with me three days a week and with his mom the rest of the time. He likes to play computer games and he's very good at them. However, he has a certain amount of time that he is allowed to spend playing computer games. This is regularly exceeded.

So, I have restricted access to the Internet, and my son skillfully circumvents this restriction, most recently with a secret mobile phone. A kind of competition has developed, which is very unsatisfactory for both of us. I have already given up in the meantime. I am frustrated, angry and at a loss. What should I do? Kind regards, Thomas."

[Dhyan Mikael:] Yes, it's a difficult situation, Thomas. You know, it's not good for children and young people, and adults too, to spend a lot of time on things like this, but of course it's also not good if you're fighting against them and if you have arguments. And I experience this in the family I live in here. My wife, my partner, has two children, and of course they love mobile phones and all the things you can do with them.

And the time that these children are allowed to spend with these media is very limited, but we also played with this issue a lot.

I remember saying to my wife a few years ago: "Oh, what's the point? Let them do it, they'll know what's good for them." Then they were allowed to consume media and these games for as long as they wanted for a while – and it was devastating.

You could really see how the children changed over the months. And then my wife went back to doing it the way she thought was right at the time, and limited it. But she was able to do this because she has a very close, sustainable, intimate relationship with these children. These children trust her deeply, and when she imposes such restrictions, it naturally causes resistance and anger and then they complain and they are sad or stubborn, but there is so much relationship foundation that it is possible to guide the children in this matter.

It's not easy, but it is possible. The crucial thing is this foundation, this bond that the child or young person has with the adult. If this bond is there, then the child or young person is in a position to accept the adult as a leader, and then, something can be done, even if it is not easy. But this bond, this relationship basis, is important. It doesn't work without it.

And now the children are older, the older daughter is now fourteen, she's allowed to do a bit more with her mobile phone, with her media and her games.

You won't be able to avoid meeting your son on a respectful, equal level. I don't know how you can do that. You will have to find out for yourself.

It's not easy. You know it's not good for him, but he doesn't know it. He has no idea about it, but all the good guidance you can give him depends on you having a relationship with him, otherwise, you can forget about it. Otherwise, he'll just do what he wants.

And let me end by saying this: I am not an expert when it comes to children.

I've just told you about the two children I am allowed to live with here, and then I experience again and again, again and again, how the mother deals with these children, with patience and wisdom... I can't hold a candle to her, not even close.

And if you want a really competent answer, then ask her. She is open to questions. If you're interested, write me an email and I'll forward her contact to you.

And it's really worth it. I am happy you asked, even if I don't think I am competent to give really practical advice. I am happy you asked, because your son is now at a crucial age as far as you as a father are concerned. Until the children are eleven, twelve, thirteen, they live in their mother's world – I am talking about the boys in particular.

But when they reach puberty and are thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, then they energetically enter the world of the father. And it is infinitely helpful for your son if he can have a relationship with you, a relationship based on what you experience together: that he experiences a father whom he can respect; whom he can look up to; whom he finds fascinating; whom he can take an interest in; whom he knows what he is doing.

I remember... I loved accompanying my father to the office when I was that age. He was one of the first computer experts in Germany, in the sixties and in the seventies, and I went with him to the computer center that he ran and punched punch cards. Of course, I didn't know what he was really doing there, but I was allowed to accompany him and I could breathe the air in the office, the smell of the machines, and I thought it was all great, and of course I admired my father.

And that's very important for a boy in finding his own identity as a boy, as a man. A boy lives his first twelve or thirteen years only in the energy of his mother, and now is the time when he learns what it means to be a man, and normally, he can only learn that from his father. And that's why I am happy you asked, and that's why I also want to encourage you to use this time with your son to learn ways to make a relationship possible, even though I know it's a big challenge.

Thank you for being there.

Staying with yourself at work and in the world

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[Simone:] Dear Mikael, the next question comes from Nadine.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Hello Nadine. Nice to have you here. I am delighted.

[Simone:] "Dear Mikael, I would also like to ask you a question. I also work as a therapist in the field of trauma therapy, and in my training, I learned techniques to integrate split-off emotions and feelings (is there a difference?). Since November, I have been listening to your videos every day and meditating every morning. Now it is becoming more and more the case that I am less and less interested in my own stories, and I am observing what great stories my thoughts are constantly making up.

Even emotions, feelings, are becoming thinner and thinner. I feel my longing to experience myself more and more as a pure holy soul, to live. I feel as if my work with trauma keeps drawing me back into the outer world. Is that the case? Is there a way for me to deal with it and at the same time keep my attention in me? I would be very happy to hear from you and thank you from the bottom of my heart. Nadine."

[Dhyan Mikael:] Thank you. What a lovely question. Yes, you got to the heart of the matter at the end when you asked, "Is there any way to stay with me when I go out there and do this work?" This is the bottom line. There's nothing wrong with the work. You know, when you start to discover this inside, when you start to discover and walk this path to the soul, all you want to do is meditate.

You just want to be inside. But life out there is not there by chance. It is important. It's like this: we learn a taste of our soul in meditation, and then, we go into the day and the world pulls us outside. And now, the challenge is to stay with us while we're in the world, no matter what work you have.

When you start to discover this path to the soul, all you want to do is meditate. But the life out there is not there by accident. It is important. We get a taste of our soul in meditation, and then, the challenge is to stay with us while we're in the world, no matter what work you have.

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The world, your job, your work, gives you the opportunity every day, so to speak, to experience how good you really are; how good you really are at staying with yourself. If you are alone in a room and you close your eyes and you do nothing and just go inside, you just sit there, then it is easy – comparatively easy.

You still have thoughts and all sorts of things, but you are only focused on your inner self. That's the easiest exercise, so to speak. But then, we go out for the remaining twenty-three and a half hours of the day, and then we experience how far we've really come with our inner strength. And that's a good thing.

The world gives you the opportunity every day to experience how good you really are at staying with yourself. When you are alone and do nothing and just go within, it's easy. But then, we go out and experience how far it really is with our inner strength. And that's a good thing.

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You meditate, and at the beginning of the meditation you feel like your head is full of thoughts. You have no idea how to get inside, but then you sit there, and again and again you let the thoughts go, again and again you go back to yourself and to your crown chakra. And then, after a quarter of an hour, after twenty minutes, after twenty-five minutes, it slowly becomes quiet. And at the end of the half hour, you can't imagine how you could ever be interested in any thoughts, and you have the feeling that you will never again fall prey to your thoughts.

You have the feeling that you have arrived. And then you open your eyes, get up, go into the kitchen, meet your partner and bang, everything is gone. You're immediately back in the old world. And then you realize: "Ah yes, I am not as strong as I just felt." So much for that in general. If you work in a profession where you deal with people on a human level, like you do as a trauma therapist, it's particularly important that you learn to stay with yourself when you're dealing with patients or clients.

At the beginning of the meditation, your head is full of thoughts, but then it slowly becomes quiet, and by the end you don't know how you could ever be interested in thoughts. Then you open your eyes, meet your partner and bang, it's all gone. And then you realize: "Ah yes, I am not as strong as it just felt."

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And one thing that will help you enormously is to take a short break between clients. I know that's often almost impossible in everyday working life, but maybe you can manage at least sixty seconds. You can start by using a trick, like going to the toilet very briefly between patients. And then you simply sit down on the closed toilet, close your eyes for thirty seconds and let go of everything inside you, and you meditate for thirty seconds. And then you go to the next client, and you rest within yourself.

When you're dealing with people, it's especially important to stay with yourself. Take your time between clients. Maybe you can manage sixty seconds. Just sit on the toilet, close your eyes and meditate for thirty seconds. And then you go to the next client, and you rest in yourself.

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Yes. And then, we gradually learn to live our entire life while resting within ourselves; while being completely still within ourselves. And it becomes more and more, there is no end to it. I keep experiencing times when I have the feeling that I can't do it at all. And then, a few days later, I have the feeling that I am quieter than ever within myself. And then life becomes more and more beautiful. And that's why we are in this life. Life helps us by making us realize, "Oh wow, I can't do it yet." It really is a blessing, this life.

And then, we learn to live our lives while resting within ourselves, and there's no end to it. I experience times when I feel like I can't do this at all, and a few days later I am quieter than ever. Life helps us with that by making us realize, "Oh wow, I can't do it yet." It really is a blessing, this life.

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And I want to end my answer by saying: you are also a blessing to your clients because your ability to stay with yourself – that's therapy. Of course you've learned all kinds of techniques that you use with your clients to help them, and it's all really good and important that you master your tools of the trade, but your tools will be much more effective and have much more impact if you, as a therapist, are with yourself, and don't give in to your own thoughts, nor to the thoughts and feelings of your clients.

Your ability to stay with yourself – that's the therapy. Of course you have learned techniques that you use with your clients, but your tools will be much more effective if you are with yourself as a therapist and don't get caught up in your own thoughts, or the thoughts and feelings of your clients.

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That's why the best thing that will help you is meditation every morning. And as I said: if you can at least take a very short break between clients, even if it's only sixty seconds, then that will help you enormously. Because what you have there, that's the big challenge we have in life: how do I stay with myself when I am in the world? And for therapists, for body therapists, but also for therapists who work on the soul, it is very, very important to keep coming back to yourself.

That's why I am so happy that you meditate. Swamiji often holds seminars and Shibirs for those professions that have a difficult working environment which is particularly stressful for people's souls, for example for doctors. Because people who have to deal with illnesses, with physical illnesses, but also with people's mental illnesses, are under particular strain. And for these people, it is particularly important to look after their own mental health. That's why you're on the right track.

That's the big challenge we have in life: how do I stay with myself when I am in the world? And for therapists, for body therapists, but also for therapists who work on the soul, it is very, very important to keep coming back to yourself. That's why I am so happy that you meditate.

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Thank you, Nadine. I am happy you're here.

Love the fear like a little child

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[Simone:] Next, I'll read a question from John, dear Mikael.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Hello John. I am happy you're here. How nice.

[Simone:] "Hello, dear Mikael. First of all, thank you for your support during this year and for finding me. I realize that I am very withdrawn due to insecurities. I keep waking up when I fall asleep and as a result I can hardly get into deep sleep and rest. How can I open up more and let go of control during sleep?

I would so much like to trust life so that I am refreshed and well-rested the next day, ready for a new day in life. Isn't the heart chakra at least as important as the crown chakra, or why is it favored in the Samarpan Meditation? Can you say something about opening the heart so that all the energies in the body can flow freely again? Is it possible to experience unconditional love for oneself and heal old wounds?"

[Dhyan Mikael:] Thank you, John There is something very special about the crown chakra. When you direct your attention up here during Samarpan Meditation, something happens energetically within you that you don't normally consciously perceive, but your Kundalini energy, which originates in the base chakra, is drawn upwards, through the body, through all the chakras, up to the top.

And this is a gradual process. When you start meditating, there are usually all kinds of restrictions and blockages in everyone's body. It's different for each person; some chakras are blocked or underdeveloped. But when the Kundalini energy is called upwards through Samarpan Meditation, then this path is gradually cleansed and healed, so to speak, by this energy that wants to rise up there.

There is something very special about the crown chakra. When you focus your attention on it during Samarpan Meditation, your Kundalini energy is drawn upwards, through all the chakras. Then this path is gradually cleansed and healed by this energy that wants to rise up there.

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What I am saying is, that by focusing your attention on the crown chakra, you automatically promote the healing of all your chakras, so to speak – and you don't need to know anything about it. So, you don't have to first analyze which chakras are affected in order to then make any special adjustments for each chakra. You can do it if you want, but I am too lazy. I prefer to do it the easy way. And you will notice when you have been doing the Samarpan Meditation for a few years how certain things inside you, in your psyche, in your inner world, gradually fall into place.

You don't even know how this is possible; very gradually. And the great thing is that it happens automatically, simply by calling this energy upwards. It's really like you're calling the kundalini energy up by resting in the crown chakra with your attention, and it wants to make its way, and it does. It just takes a while. So, that's just some basic things, because you asked why the crown chakra is preferred. This is done because it brings all the chakras into harmony, but without you having to start breaking it all down and analyzing and understanding it.

By focusing your attention on the crown chakra, you promote the healing of all chakras – and you don't need to know anything about it. You will notice how certain things in your inner world gradually fall into place. And the great thing is that it happens automatically.

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And that is why it is not necessary for you to understand what your difficulties are about. It is enough if you deal directly and practically with the difficulty you are having. This anxiety or this restlessness that you feel that won't let you fall asleep – that you are with it as if it were a frightened child that can't fall asleep. Keep your restlessness company, your fear. Keep your frightened child which is trembling inside you company.

Keep it company; be with it. And don't think about the fact that you won't be able to sleep and that you'll be exhausted tomorrow. Look, I once had a son who screamed every night when he was a little baby. I don't know what he had; I think he had gastric colic. This is sometimes quite common in children of a certain age, and he screamed every night. And what helped him was when I got up and I just took him in my arms and carried him around the apartment.

Then he was quiet and slept. As soon as I put him to bed, he started screaming again. So, I carried him for hours. And doing that for someone else, for your child, is the most natural thing in the world. You don't think: "but then I can't sleep long enough, then I'll be exhausted tomorrow." Of course you'll be completely exhausted the next day, but it's completely clear: "this child needs me now", and you carry your child through the night.

That's just what you do. And the love for the child carries you through the day, even though you're completely exhausted and done. But it's the same with ourselves. You can love what you get to know inside you just as much as if it were a child. And you take that and you look after it, you give it your attention, you are with it, no matter what it means the next day. That is your most important task at that moment.

It is completely clear: "this child needs me now", and you carry your child through the night. And the love for the child then carries you through the day, even though you are completely exhausted. But it's the same with ourselves. You can love what you get to know inside you just as much as if it were a child.

Link to quote in video at 49m22s

And meditate.

You know, it's as if we have to take care of two things at the same time as human beings.

On the one hand, we discover what we are in this life for in the first place, namely, to discover our soul and turn to it. And when we do that, to the extent that we learn to do that, our true foundation, our soul, becomes stronger and stronger and all our problems are solved. This is what Jesus has been talking about all along. This is where we open the door to the Kingdom of Heaven, now, here, in this life. But at the same time, we have to deal with the practical realities of our lives, the way we are, the way this body is knitted, the way this psyche is knitted.

And on the one hand, you begin to approach your soul and meditate, and you learn to turn inwards, to this inside that is much further in than feelings and emotions. But somehow you also have to deal with what is here, and that is this second part that I am talking about. You have to find a good way to deal with what's bothering you right now. And the best way to do that is to let it be here and just love it as if it were a child; as if it were a part of you. And that is what it is, in reality: it is a part of you.

And this practical way of dealing with it also means that you can get help. I just answered a question from a trauma therapist. I know people who have experienced trauma – I am one of them – and there is often a phase in life where it is necessary or infinitely helpful to get help to deal with these things. Then it simply becomes easier. And at the same time, you meditate and make friends with your soul.

Be willing to die

Link to topic in video at 52m39s

And I'll say something else now.... I am not sure if this will help you, but it helped me.

I just said, I also had my trauma in my life, and I always had a dream as a child and as a teenager, a nightmare that I usually had shortly after falling asleep, in which I was basically destroyed, and I was very afraid of this dream. And at some point I learned, many decades later, when I came to my Master Soham, to say 'yes' to everything.

And saying 'yes' to everything ultimately means saying 'yes' to dying. You lie awake at night and can't fall asleep, and ultimately, it's this fear: "If I fall asleep now, it will kill me". That's the ultimate fear. And Soham taught me to say 'yes' to everything. And it always ends with this: "Okay, then I have to be prepared to die – then I can say 'yes' to this fear or that fear." And then I did that.

And saying 'yes' to everything ultimately means saying 'yes' to dying. You lie awake at night, and ultimately, it's this fear: "If I fall asleep now, it will kill me." And in the end, it's always this: "Okay, then I have to be ready to die – then I can say 'yes' to that," to this fear or that fear.

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At some point, I started to say 'yes' to dying. Of course, the feelings didn't kill me – but it feels like it would. And when you're ready to say 'yes' to dying, quite sincerely, quite genuinely, then you can say 'yes' to everything else – everything.

At some point, I started to say 'yes' to dying. Of course, the feelings didn't kill me – but it feels like it would. And when you're ready to say 'yes' to dying, quite sincerely, quite genuinely, then you can say 'yes' to everything else – everything.

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And when I learned that, this nightmare disappeared. I had it as a child and teenager, and in adulthood not every night, but definitely once or twice a week. And now I haven't had it for fifteen years. And when I think of that nightmare and my trauma in life now, it almost feels like those were the teachers who gave me the opportunity to learn to say 'yes'. And now I am free.

When I think of that nightmare and my trauma in life now, it almost feels like those were the teachers who gave me the opportunity to learn to say 'yes'. And now I am free.

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But I think that's a step you can only take once you've gained a certain level of inner confidence, and a person who can't do that shouldn't blame themselves. It will come eventually. But if you can do that, then it's very helpful: saying 'yes' to dying.

If you can do that, it's very helpful: saying 'yes' to dying. And then you lie awake at night and this fear comes, and then you say: "God, I say 'yes' to this. And if that means I'll die tonight – I say 'yes'. I am putting my life in your hands. I just say 'yes'." That's what we need so we can live well: this 'yes'.

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And then you lie awake at night and this fear comes, this restlessness, and then you say: "Okay, God, I say 'yes' to this. And if that means I'll die tonight – I say 'yes'. I put my life in your hands. I just say 'yes'." That's actually what we need so we can live well: this 'yes'. And what you are experiencing, this fear, this anxiety, that is the invitation to say 'yes'.

What you are experiencing, this fear, this anxiety, that is the invitation to say 'yes'.

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Thank you. Thank you for being there.

[Simone:] Mikael, I would like to read out some feedback from Thomas.

[Dhyan Mikael:] You're very welcome, Thomas.

[Simone:] "Dear Mikael, thank you for this intensive, and thank you for your answer. Now the direction is clear to me again, and I am looking forward to the journey."

When you become different, your friends change

Link to topic in video at 57m04s

Then I'll read out the next question. It comes from Maria.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Hello Maria.

[Simone:] "I got on really well with my girlfriend for years. We've experienced a lot together and helped each other. When we met last time, it was different. She lives so much in the outside world, and I am not interested in ranting and talking about the world. At one moment I felt really sick and I was happy when we said goodbye. How should I deal with the situation? Can you say something about it? Thank you."

[Dhyan Mikael:] I'd love to. Thank you for your question, Maria. Yes, it's just like this: you start to be on your path, and you change: you are changed. And as you change, your life changes. Life always changes to fit the way you are right now. And you now become quieter, more inward-looking, you become more positive, your negativity leaves you very gradually, and then you perceive the negativity of other people all the more painfully.

And then you suddenly can't relate to people who were actually close to you all your life when you were still like them.

As you change, your life changes – always in a way that fits to the way you are at the moment. You become quieter, more positive, your negativity leaves you and you perceive the negativity of others all the more painfully. Then you suddenly can't relate to people who have been close to you all your life.

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When I experience something like you... For example, I've arranged a meeting and then I experience something unpleasant like you are now, then I deal with it as follows: I just experience it. I don't get up in the middle of the meeting and say: "Listen, I don't like this right now. You're too negative for me." I don't do that, because the other person isn't wrong just because I am not happy with them in that moment.

I said 'yes' to the meeting, I was looking forward to it, and then I just experience it, just like you do. And afterwards, like you now, I just feel what it did to me, and I feel the pain or the burden or whatever it is that you perceive in yourself, without judging the other person. And then I forget about it. Everything that will be different in this relationship in the future arises solely from the fact that you can perceive and experience it now as purely and directly as it is right now.

And you don't need to make any decisions for the future. You don't have to make some kind of decision now: "but next time we meet, I have to talk to her about the fact that this has to be different" or "I don't want to meet up with you anymore." That kind of thing isn't necessary. Experience your feelings, experience what it was like for you, and then forget about it. And then you'll see whether you feel like meeting up with her again or not.

And if she approaches you and would like to meet up with you, then you can see how you feel at the moment when she asks you if you would like to meet up. And then you look, then you will remember this experience from now, and then you will feel: "What do I feel like? How do I deal with it now?" And then it's really exciting, you know... Then you might go into a new meeting again – I have experienced this myself countless times –, but then I go into this new meeting with more strength. I am more with myself.

In the beginning, you feel completely helpless when you become more sensitive and realize for the first time that there are things about the other person that you actually quite like, but that you just can't deal with properly. But you get options relatively quickly. If I meet up with someone today or a visitor comes and there's a situation where I realize, "I really don't need that right now", then, today – I don't even know how, it happens by itself –, I am in a position to steer such a conversation without offending the other person.

You can then say: "I am sorry, I know it's close to your heart, all these misfortunes you're talking about, but you know, I've realized for myself: talking about it doesn't do me any good. On the contrary, I feel much worse afterwards than I did before, and that's why I prefer not to talk about things like that at all." You know, kind of like that... Or you can think of something else.

There's actually always a way to let the other person know what it's like for me without making the other person wrong. Instead of saying: "you're always saying negative things", you can say: "listen, I've noticed that when I think about things like that, I get really sick. I'd rather not. That's why I'd prefer it if we didn't talk about it. I am not really interested in it anymore." I only talk about myself.

It's still bad enough for the other person, and she may never want to meet you again, but that's one option I can suggest to you. But that's what I do now... I don't even say things like that in conversations anymore. Somehow, I've become quite adept at changing the topic to something that suits me without the other person really noticing. It just takes a bit of practice. It's a bit difficult at first, but after a few years you get the hang of it.

But at the end of the day, you know... I told you at the beginning of my answer to you: you change, and life around you changes in a way that suits you. And it may well be that if you are true to yourself, which may mean that you no longer want to meet up with this friend or that you behave a little differently in future conversations than before, then it may happen that this friendship comes to an end. And that's not bad.

Be true to yourself, as best you can, as gentle as you can, gentle with yourself and gentle with the other person, if you can, and then your life will sort itself out. There will be a few people who no longer fit in with the new Maria, and they will then disappear from your life without you doing anything. And new people will come into your life who fit in with this new Mary and who you are happy about.

Be true to yourself, as gently as you can, gentle with yourself and with others, if you can, and then your life will sort itself out. There will be people who will disappear from your life without you doing anything. And new people will come into your life who fit in with this new Maria and who you are happy about.

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So, don't worry about your girlfriend. She's okay the way she is. Feel your feelings, be true to yourself, take care of yourself, meditate. And these practical questions, you'll see, they'll take care of themselves. You don't need to think about them, you don't need to make decisions, and you don't need to know today how you will behave next time. Just make sure that you are close to yourself. That's all you need to do. That's my personal experience. Thank you for your question.

Feel your feelings, be true to yourself, take care of yourself, meditate. These practical questions will take care of themselves. You don't need to think, make decisions or know today how you will behave next time. Just make sure that you are close to yourself. That's all you need to do.

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[Simone:] I have some quick feedback from John.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Hello John, yes please.

[Simone:] "Thank you very much. That was very helpful. From the bottom of my heart, thank you."

[Dhyan Mikael:] Thank you for your question. It is such a gift to be able to answer your questions and those of everybody else.

This path you walk alone

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[Simone:] The next question I read out comes from Shantam.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Hello Shantam. I am very happy that you're here.

[Simone:] "Hello Mikael. I am so happy to see you and that I can be here today. I want to be with myself these two days, today and New Year. There was a row in the family at Christmas and I got up and went home. I felt so uncomfortable, and everything was too much for me. Now my daughters ignore me and don't contact me, as if I've done something wrong again.

In your newsletter you wrote about Christmas and how it could become a challenge for some of us, and it has. I've always been a family person, and since I've been with Swamiji and meditating every morning, everything just changed. I just want to be with myself. That fulfills me. Maybe you would like to say something about it. Thank you so much for accompanying me on this new path inwards."

[Dhyan Mikael:] Thank you.

Yes, when we start on this path inwards, something quite amazing happens, namely that the people who are closest to us have the biggest problems with it. And that's always the case. It's just always like that.

When we start on this path inwards, something quite amazing happens, namely that the people who are closest to us have the biggest problems with it. And that's always the case. It's just always like that.

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On my first annual postcard that I made last spring, it said: "If you want to be true to yourself, then you have to be willing to be wrong" – because a person who starts to be close to themselves, to be true to themselves, is wrong in the eyes of others. That is quite amazing, and it really hurts at first, and that is why it is part of the first lesson on the spiritual path to make friends with this being wrong.

My annual postcard reads: "If you want to be true to yourself, then you have to be willing to be wrong" – because a person who begins to be close to themselves is wrong in the eyes of others. Therefore, part of the first lesson on the spiritual path is to make friends with this being wrong.

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And I say this is part of the first lesson, but I say to you: this first lesson, I learned it for the first time twenty years ago, but I have to do it again and again, again and again. On the spiritual path, there is one lesson after another, but every lesson you learn, you will have to learn again and again. You're never really completely through with it.

This first lesson, I learned it for the first time twenty years ago, but I have to do it again and again, again and again. On the spiritual path, there is one lesson after another, but every lesson you learn, you will have to learn again and again. You're never really completely through with it.

Link to quote in video at 1h09m02s

And that's what you're experiencing right now, very practically: the people closest to you think you're wrong.

If you're the way they want you to be, then they love you – "love" in quotation marks, of course –, but as soon as you're different, you're just a red rag to them. You are a challenge.

And I'll tell you something now: don't take it personally. That might sound a bit difficult. I just said: those people who are closest to you are the ones who have the biggest problems with you when you start to become true, and with those people it is the most difficult for us because we take it so personally: our children, our partners, our parents, our siblings. But don't take it personally.

You know, it's like this... You experience it yourself: when you turn inwards, when you take that first step towards your soul and towards God, then you begin to experience what is waiting for you inside. You begin to get to know yourself, how crazy you actually are, how strange. You get to know your completely crazy thoughts. You get to know many feelings that you never knew were even there. And you start to experience one challenge after another. And you can do this because over the course of many, many, many lifetimes you have gradually become ready for it.

And now, in this life, you have reached the point where you have become so strong within yourself that you can take that first step inwards. This is an infinite miracle in a person's life. It takes so much preparation for this, so much grace. And people who don't have that yet are not ready for it. But if you take the step and they don't, it's a tremendous provocation for these other people.

When you turn inwards, you begin to experience one challenge after another. And you can do this because you have become ready for it over the course of many lifetimes. And now, in this life, you have become so strong in yourself that you can take this step inwards. This is an infinite miracle in a person's life.

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Deep down, on a soul level, they also know that what you are doing is actually their path, too. But they are not ready yet – not now; maybe tomorrow; maybe through your example in a year or two, who knows. But not now. And the only way they have to deal with this provocation is to reject you. And that's why I say: don't take it personally.

If you take the step, it's a tremendous provocation for the other people. On a soul level, they also know that this is actually their path, too, but they are not yet ready. And the only way they have of dealing with this provocation is to reject you. And that's why I say: don't take it personally.

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I know. it's a lot to ask, but it has nothing to do with you personally.

And I am happy you were true to yourself. I am happy you left. I know you couldn't help it. These are the things that really happen of their own accord, and that's wonderful.

And I would like to tell you something else from my life.

There is something about me in this life that has always compelled me to be true to myself, even though I was incredibly scared and always felt infinitely wrong.

And of course, people rejected me.

And I've been married several times, with children in those marriages, and I have nothing to do with any of these people. It's not possible – for me it is, but for them it's not possible.

It's like stepping into another world when you start to go inside, and then you're either invisible or unacceptable to others – or both. It's just like that.

In a way, you have to be prepared to be completely alone when you start to go within, to your soul, because no one will understand you. Even spiritual companions always have problems with you. I am not talking about you personally, but in general. Again and again, you experience: you walk this path alone, always alone. But the exciting thing is: the more you walk this path, the easier it then becomes to be in the world again and to be with other people.

It's like a new foundation grows within us, and the more we live as a soul, the easier and more problem-free everything becomes, but there is such a phase in between. Before you start the spiritual path, everything is somehow in order. Somehow you come to terms with it, and you don't actually know how much pain and torment you are carrying around inside you. And then you start to become aware of it and then the journey inwards begins, and then it becomes a big challenge and you have to say 'yes' to it.

It's like stepping into another world when you start to go within, and then you are either invisible or unacceptable to others – or both. You have to be prepared to be completely alone when you start to go within, to your soul, because no one will understand you. You walk this path alone.

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The challenge is actually not that difficult, but saying 'yes' is really a big challenge. And the more you learn, the more you can surrender, the closer you get to your soul, the easier it suddenly becomes. And in the end, it's almost as if you're living in the same world again as before – and everything is different. That's how it seems to me. But then there are other people. The world looks different.

Before you start on the spiritual path, you don't know how much pain you're carrying around inside you. Then you start to become aware of it, you have to say 'yes' to it. And the more you learn this, the easier it suddenly becomes. And in the end, it's almost like you're living in the same world as before – but the world looks different.

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Yes, so what you're experiencing is simply the way.

Be willing to be wrong. Be willing to be alone. That's the price of God's closeness. Thank you, Shantam.

Be willing to be wrong. Be willing to be alone. That's the price of God's closeness.

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[Simone:] Dear Mikael, I have no further questions at the moment, but I would like to briefly read out two responses from Nadine and Maria. Nadine writes: "Thank you, thank you, thank you for your reply. It was so helpful for me." And Maria writes: "Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your answer. I meditate and am true to myself, as you say. A lot has already changed in my life thanks to your guidance.

When I was at the bottom, you said to me about work: tell God to give me work where I have joy and strength to do it. That's exactly what happened. I had to wait fifty-seven years for such a wonderful job. Your wisdom is priceless. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Be blessed." And Shantam also just wrote: "I thank you so much and I am moved to tears. It's so important that you're here."

[Dhyan Mikael:] And I am so happy you're here, because through these questions it becomes clear what it's really about. And thank you for the answer and the report on the work. I keep saying: the only thing we have to learn is surrender. That's the only thing – that's what Jesus said again and again – and then the miracles happen. But we can't imagine it. And then, at some point, we meet someone and we believe him, even though we can't imagine it ourselves.

We can't believe it, but we believe him. And then a miracle happens, and we try it out, and then we experience it ourselves, and then a new life begins, very gradually, again and again. Thank you for the feedback, thank you very much. Yes, if you still have questions, just write, otherwise I'll read out some more questions that I have here and that have also been waiting for an answer for a while. Simone, you'll interrupt me between questions, right?

The only thing we have to learn is surrender – but we can't imagine it. And then we meet someone, and we believe it, and then a miracle happens, and we try it out, and then we experience it ourselves, and then a new life begins, very gradually, again and again.

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Only our own attention counts

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[Simone:] I forgot to read out one more response...

[Dhyan Mikael:] Yes, please.

[Simone:] ...from Brigitte. The first question came from her. She writes: "Dear Mikael, thank you for your reply. I now realize that I have expectations of my partner, that he pays attention to me and is interested in me. He did that at the beginning. I'll try out what you recommended. Thank you."

[Dhyan Mikael:] Yes, Brigitte, that really is the key point. You know, we have expectations about all kinds of things, but at the core it's always the expectation of getting attention. And we all never got enough attention as children. But the human being, the human baby, dies if it doesn't get attention from the mother. It dies. Even if it gets food, even if it is kept warm: without human attention of the mother, the human child dies.

There are studies on this, it's totally touching and fascinating. But we've all never... We got enough attention to survive, but we didn't get enough attention to feel safe and secure, and we take that with us into our adult lives. Then we seek attention from partners, but that old attention hole can't be plugged by anyone out there. Even if your partner gave you attention, it would never be enough – never.

But the miracle, the great miracle is: when you start to give yourself this inner attention, then something starts to heal; then you start to become full. We spend a lifetime looking for it out there, and at some point, we discover that only we can do it ourselves. And if you then give yourself this vital attention, then everything else relaxes. That's my experience. Thank you for your feedback, I am very happy. Thank you, Brigitte. Yes, I will now read out a question I received by email.

Even if your partner gave you attention, it would never be enough – never. But the great miracle is: when you start to give yourself this attention, something starts to heal; you start to become full. We spend a lifetime looking out there, and at some point, we discover that only we can do it. And then everything else relaxes.

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Defusing your thoughts

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"How do I deal with it when thoughts of fear overwhelm me? When they prevent me from finding inner peace and certainly not thoughtlessness? And if I can't meditate well in this state because my whole body is then flooded with stress?"

Yes, thank you. That's a great question, because sometimes you get the feeling... You have the problem of the chicken and the egg. You ask yourself: which came first, the egg or the hen? No hen, no egg, no egg, no hen. And so it is on the spiritual path.

When I am at peace within myself and thoughtless, everything is fine, and when I am in thought and when I believe the thoughts – and that is the normal state of most people – then I see only problems everywhere, and I cannot imagine that it is possible to live without thoughts. You have the feeling that thoughts are important and that I mustn't meditate under any circumstances, that's not possible at all. It is even more frightening. So, how are you supposed to get from one to the other? That is the question.

Without a hen there is no egg, without an egg there is no hen. And it's the same on the spiritual path. When I am thoughtless, everything is good, and when I am in thought, I see only problems everywhere and cannot imagine that one can live without thought. So how can you get from one to the other? That's the question.

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And two things help here. One is what I always talk about: make peace with the fear. Forget about meditating. You are afraid – then, for the first time in your life, be okay with the fear. Let it be here. Explore it, get to know it as if it were a guest who has been with you every day, but whom you have never liked. You were always happy when this guest left, every day. And now you suddenly realize: "Wait a minute, I don't really know it. I don't even know what it really looks like, I've never really looked it in the face."

Get to know the fear, let it be here, don't send it away, get to know it, feel it. And you can't do that in one day, I am fully aware of that: very gradually, again and again, again and again. And by being willing to feel the fear... your 'yes' to the fear it will change the whole thing. Then, you experience what it's like to be afraid, and then you stop being afraid of fear. Then you know: "Okay, this is fear, I've known it all my life, and now I feel it" – and you're still alive. It hasn't killed you. And then, something inside you relaxes.

Be okay with fear for the first time in your life. Get to know it, as if it were a guest that was with you every day but that you never liked. Let it be here, don't send it away, feel it. And you can't do that in one day. But your 'yes' to the fear will change the whole thing.

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When this energy that has been coming to you all your life is suddenly allowed to be here and you realize: "It's all okay. It's here, but everything is okay", then you will discover something quite amazing. I am not going to tell you that now. I want you to discover it for yourself. You can tell me, when you've discovered it. And when you have replaced this 'no' to fear with this real 'yes', then it will also be possible for you to let go of the thoughts – the thoughts that provoked this fear in the first place.

But if you are in this spiral where you have all these thoughts that cause you such fear, then you cannot avoid making peace with the fear first. Once you have done this, you have disempowered the thoughts, so to speak, because the worst threat of thoughts, namely fear, is now your friend. And then you can ignore the thoughts bit by bit and let them go – and then you can meditate.

If you have thoughts that cause you fear, then you cannot avoid making peace with the fear first. Then you have disempowered the thoughts because the worst threat of thoughts, fear, is now your friend. Then you can ignore the thoughts and let them go – and then you can meditate.

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And you can also meditate right now. I am not saying that you should stop meditating. But don't worry if you keep thinking while you meditate. Sit down and ignore the thoughts, as best you can. If you don't succeed, no problem. Just sit there and keep going back to the crown chakra, again and again, as best you can – as if it were a game.

Yes, that's the way to go when the thoughts have you in this bind: make peace with the feeling the thoughts are using to blackmail you – and then, you are free.

That's the way to go when the thoughts have you in this bind: make peace with the feeling the thoughts are using to blackmail you – and then, you are free.

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Thank you for the question.

Yes to dying

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[Simone:] I have another question from John that I'd like to read out.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Yes, please.

[Simone:] "How can you say 'yes' to dying in order to finally be free? How can you learn to do that? Is that a kind of maturing process that you feel at a certain point or do you have to reach it first?"

[Dhyan Mikael:] You can say 'yes' to dying now. You can never say 'yes' to dying tomorrow.

Now.

You sit here, you watch me, you listen to me. Are you ready to die now?

The will is enough: "I want to be ready to die." If you can't, then pray: "God, make me ready to die."

It's something existential – now. Whether it's a process or not, I could say a lot about that now, but that's just distracting. Are you ready to die? Now?

In this moment?

And if you say 'yes' now, then again in the next moment: "Am I ready to die? Am I ready to be wrong? Am I ready to do everything wrong?" Again and again the same questions – and again and again: "yes, of course".

Are you ready to die now? The will is enough: "I want to be ready to die." If you can't, then pray: "God, make me ready to die." And if you say 'yes' now, then again in the next moment: "Am I ready to die? Am I ready to be wrong?" Again and again the same questions – and again and again: "yes, of course".

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And when you ask yourself this question, "am I ready to die", and you say 'no', then ask yourself another question: "am I ready to live with this 'no'? Can I do that? Can I live while saying 'no' to dying? Is that possible for me? Is that even possible?" It is not possible for me.

Just asking yourself the question, "Am I ready to die?", just by asking yourself this question, you feel the truth. You feel: I can't live without this 'yes'. If you say no to dying, you suddenly realize that it is not possible to live without saying 'yes' to dying.

If you ask yourself this question, "am I ready to die", and you say 'no', then ask yourself another question: "am I ready to live with this 'no'? Can I live while saying 'no' to dying?" You feel: without this 'yes' I cannot live at all. It is not possible to live without saying 'yes' to dying.

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Thank you for your question, John.

Is it possible to always be here?

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[Simone:] I don't have any more questions at the moment, Mikael.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Thank you, Simone, I'll see what else I have here.

"I saw one of your videos about being without thoughts. About two years ago, I read the sentence that you can observe your thoughts. 'Strange', was my next thought – such a simple truth, and I hadn't noticed it my whole life, although I had certainly heard something similar many times before. Since then, I've tried to always be here and not get lost in thoughts, but it's not easy. I get lost again and again, hundreds of times every day. I would like to ask you if it is possible to always be here, to not get lost in stories, to recognize thoughts as soon as they come and not get carried away."

What a great question. Thank you.

There's only one thing you can do: as soon as you realize you're lost, come back. That's the only thing that's possible: as soon as you realize that you are in thought, to return, to let the thoughts go.

It is not possible not to get lost in thought. If you tried that, you would be in thought. Don't try it. Just let go. And be ready for anything. That's the trick in spiritual life. If you're okay with having thoughts, if you're okay with loosing yourself in thought, then you'll notice – because you're okay with it: "Ah, thoughts again – okay," and poof, you're back again. The more you try not to be in thought, the harder it becomes for you to even realize that you're in thought, because you don't want it; because you reject it.

It's not possible not to get lost in thought. If you tried, you'd be lost in thought. Do not try it. That's the trick in spiritual life: if you don't have a problem with loosing yourself in thought, then you'll notice it: "Ah, thoughts again – okay," and poof, you're back again.

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Returning, returning again and again – that is the way: returning again and again. You can't prevent anything.

If you are not in thought, in a way there is no one who can prevent anything. Don't even try. You simply rest within yourself. You have no idea about thoughts, there is nothing. There is also nothing and no one and no energy that could or wanted to avoid or prevent anything. And yet – in the next moment you realize: "Oh, I am in thought." And then: return.

You can't prevent anything. If you are not in thoughts, there is, in a way, no one who can prevent anything. Don't even try it. You just rest within yourself. You have no idea about thoughts, there's nothing. The next moment you realize: "Oh, I am in thought." And then: return.

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You can develop this willingness: to return again and again. And the more naturally you can do this, without judgment, without then thinking, "ah, I am stupid, I've been in thoughts again"... because then you've slipped even deeper into your thoughts. As soon as you realize: "ah, I am in thought" – no further thought, no judgment, nothing. Just joyfully return to yourself: "Ah! How nice that I noticed that. Now I am here again."

You can develop this willingness: return again and again, without judgment, because then you will have slipped even deeper into thoughts. As soon as you realize: "ah, I am in thought" – no further thought, no judgment, nothing. Just joyfully returning to yourself.

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And that's what most people don't understand about the spiritual path. You have to be ready for anything, because when you're here, you have no ability to reject anything, to avoid anything. You simply rest here. Everything is allowed to happen. And as soon as you are in thought, you return here again. That's the trick: this equanimity, this neutrality towards everything that pulls you away from your center.

This is what most people don't understand about the spiritual path: you have to be ready for anything, because when you're here, you have no ability to avoid anything. Everything is allowed to happen. And as soon as you are in thought, you return here again. That's the trick: this equanimity, this neutrality towards everything that pulls you out of your center.

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But normally, we are in thought. We have experienced thoughtlessness before. Then we think about what it's like when I have no thoughts, and we think about how I can stay there. But these are all just thoughts. You can forget them all. Let the thoughts go and rest here, and then, next time: let go again and come back here.

We have experienced thoughtlessness before. Then we think about what it's like when I have no thoughts, and we think about how I can stay there. But these are all just thoughts. Let them go and rest here, and then, next time: let go again and return here.

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Spiritual life is a permanent return to God, again and again. And the more innocently we can do this – and innocently means with the less judgment, with the less self-judgment, self-condemnation – the easier and more natural it is. And we usually get annoyed: you're meditating, and it's so beautiful, and suddenly you're back in thoughts, and then you get annoyed.

Spiritual life is a permanent return to God, again and again. And the more innocently we can do this – and innocently means with less self-judgement and self-condemnation – the easier and more natural it is.

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This annoyance makes it harder to go back. But the better you get at returning, the more you get the feeling that the whole of 'life in truth', the whole of being in Heaven, is about returning – all the time, all the time. For me, it's now such that I am actually happy about every opportunity to get lost, because then I can come back – which is something completely absurd to the mind.

The better you get at returning, the more you get the feeling that the whole of "life in truth" consists of constantly returning. For me, it's now such that I am happy about every opportunity to get lost, because then I can return again – which is something completely absurd to the mind.

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I don't know if I am making myself understood now. My next video will be about this.

You think it's a problem to get lost in thoughts, and you think about how to avoid it.

The whole point is that it stops being a problem for you: you get so good at returning that you don't have a problem with getting lost anymore. You just come back again. And this returning is so beautiful. It's as if I can only experience myself as consciousness, as God, when I return. When I rest within myself, I know nothing of it.

You think it's a problem to get lost in your thoughts and you think about how to avoid it. The point is that stops being a problem for you: you become so good at returning that you no longer have a problem with getting lost. You just come back again.

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But as soon as this is disturbed and I can return, then there is this celebration again, again and again.

And this returning is so beautiful. It's as if I can only experience myself as consciousness, as God, when I return. When I rest within myself, I know nothing of it. But as soon as this is disturbed and I can return, then there is this celebration again, again and again.

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That's why it's most helpful not to judge this at all, but to return to it in a completely neutral way. Thank you.

The language of God

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Simone, shall I continue?

[Simone:] Yes, please, Mikael.

[Dhyan Mikael:] "What about the thoughts that come to us from God, which are probably without words, simply energy, as you write. And what about the thesis: 'I create my world with my thoughts', and that I should therefore pay attention to my thoughts? We create our world with energy, don't we? Thank you for your answers."

Yes, thank you. How does God speak to you? How does God speak to us? That is the question.

God doesn't speak through words, God doesn't speak through images, God doesn't speak through feelings.

But when you become completely still and let go of all thoughts and let go of all images and let go of all colors, everything you see, and just rest in yourself, then God speaks.

It is difficult to describe.

But God doesn't speak with words, not even with images.

And for me, in my everyday life, I do what I have energy for and what I feel joy for. And these are often not the things I want to do, but then I do them.

God speaks through energy.

God doesn't speak through words, images or feelings. But when you become completely still and just rest within yourself, then God speaks. For me, what I have energy for and what I feel joy for, that's what I do. And these are often not the things I want to do, but then I do them. God speaks through energy.

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However, I find it most helpful when I don't ask myself what God is telling me right now. As soon as I have this question, I can't actually recognize the answer anymore. I simply rest in myself, without any questions, then God can guide me. As soon as I want to know what God wants from me, as soon as I want to know what he is saying right now or whether what I am thinking or seeing or feeling right now is God or not, then I will go astray.

I find it most helpful when I don't ask myself what God is telling me right now. As soon as I have this question, I can no longer recognize the answer. I just rest in myself, without any questions, then God can guide me. As soon as I want to know what God wants from me, I will go astray.

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When I meditate, I let go of everything, what comes to me – all the time. Sometimes I have really great, inspiring thoughts in meditation, really great things, where other people advise to write them down straight away because they're so brilliant. But I just let it all go, and I think: "Okay, if that's God, then he'll speak to me afterwards, too.

Sometimes I have great inspiring thoughts in meditation, where some advise to write them down because they are so brilliant. But I just let it all go: "If this is God, He'll make sure I do this afterward. He doesn't need me to think about it." God is able to do that – that's my experience.

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If that's God, then he'll make sure that I do it afterwards. He doesn't need me to think about it now." God is able to do that – that's my experience. It's like learning to know nothing. And the less I know, the more God can control and guide and direct me.

It's like learning to know nothing. And the less I know, the more God can control and guide and direct me.

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Thank you for your question.

Wanting to wish for nothing is also a wish

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So, I am going to read out a comment I received on a video on YouTube: "But that's a contradiction in terms, because not wanting to have wishes is also a wish."

Thank you very much. I love honest objections, that's great.

Yes, it really is like that. Not wanting to have wishes is a wish, and then I am in the mind, and then I have thoughts. It's a very delicate matter: I realize I wish something, and if I now fight against this wish, or wish that I no longer have any wishes, then it's exactly as you say... That's the cat biting its own tail. It doesn't lead to anything. But to just recognize... It's more of a... It's not wishing for something else, it's recognizing, and you realize, "Ah, I have wishes, look at that.

Interesting." At that moment, you're no longer in the wish. You no longer take the wish seriously. You are no longer one with this wish, but you are outside of this wish – you are observing it, so to speak. You realize: "Ah, these are wishes that move me here. Interesting. No, I don't want anything to do with that right now. I want my peace and quiet," and you return to yourself. And that's kind of like what I was just saying about the thoughts. To wish to have no more wishes naturally leads into thoughts.

Not wanting to have wishes is a wish. It's a delicate matter: I realize I am wishing, and if I fight it, the cat bites its tail. That leads to nothing. But to just recognize: "Ah, I have wishes, look at that..." In that moment, you are no longer in the wish, and you return to yourself.

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Wanting to no longer want anything leads to thoughts. That is of no use. But simply resting quietly, without wanting anything, but also without rejecting anything... You rest within yourself, and then a wish comes, and then you recognize it for what it is: "Ah, a wish. Ah, a thought. Ah, a feeling." And through this recognition, it is as if you perceive all these things from the outside, and in that instant, you already have nothing to do with it anymore, and then it can go by itself.

Wanting to no longer want anything leads to thoughts. But simply resting quietly, without wanting, but also without rejecting anything... then a wish comes, and then you recognize it for what it is: "Ah, a wish." And through this recognition you already have nothing more to do with it, and then it can go by itself.

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Yes, thank you very much for all these wonderful questions. Simone, I'll just keep going, shall I?

Two ways out of the prison of thoughts

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[Simone:] I now have another question from John that I could read out.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Yes, please.

[Simone:] "Is it possible to be as aware with open eyes in everyday life as in Samarpan Meditation? Should we also go to the crown chakra again and again in everyday life in relation to thoughtlessness, in situations where we can do this? When you consciously realize that you are in thought, you always come back. I still have the problem of judgment. Who am I without thoughts? How can you solve that?"

[Dhyan Mikael:] So, to your first questions: yes, yes and yes. It's all possible. It's possible to be in the crown chakra with your eyes open in everyday life; to be with yourself. It's possible to live everyday life and be in the crown chakra. It's possible to be completely with yourself and live your everyday life.

And I am telling you: it works much, much better than if you do it differently. And when you've lived like this for a few years, you don't know how you were ever able to live in any other way. Right now... I am at peace within myself, I am in the crown chakra. If I wasn't here, I'd just be talking nonsense, or I might sound great and wise, but you wouldn't like it. You would switch off.

It's possible to be in the crown chakra with your eyes open in everyday life; to be with yourself. It's possible to be completely with yourself and live everyday life. And I am telling you: it works much, much better than if you do it any other way. And when you've lived like this for a few years, you don't know how you were ever able to live in any other way.

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It works. It even works very well. In fact, it's much easier than anything else.

And to your last question. You can't imagine being thoughtless. Of course you can't! The thoughts cannot imagine being thoughtless. The ego cannot imagine being without ego.

You can't imagine being thoughtless. Of course you can't! The thoughts cannot imagine being thoughtless. The ego cannot imagine being without ego.

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It's that chicken-and-egg problem again that we talked about at the beginning – or: I talked about it. You're completely convinced of it. With every fiber of your being you are convinced that it is not possible to live without thoughts. It truly feels like you cannot exist without thoughts. And that's true: what you perceive as 'I' right now, that doesn't exist without thoughts.

With every fiber of your being you are convinced that it is not possible to live without thoughts. It truly feels like you cannot exist without thoughts. And that's true: what you perceive as 'I' right now, that doesn't exist without thoughts.

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There are two different ways out of this predicament. Some people have the inner strength to meditate anyway – despite this fear, despite this conviction. Everything in them says, "that's completely crazy, it's not possible", but they have this somehow, because they've been in this place for many lifetimes and are fed up. And in this life, they have this inner strength and try it anyway. And as soon as you try it, you make your own experiences with thoughtlessness.

Then you know for the first time from your own experience that what the thoughts say is not true. And then, this knot, this self-reinforcing knot, gradually unravels by itself. But you have to experience it for yourself, it's no use to you before then. There are only very few people who can really go through this process on their own. Most people hear about it and think it's great, but then stop again. The ego is simply too powerful.

Some people have the inner strength to meditate anyway – despite this fear. Now they have this inner strength and try it anyway. And as soon as you try it, you have your own experience of thoughtlessness. Then you know for the first time from your own experience that what the thoughts say is not true.

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And the second way is that you are touched by someone who lives this way – who lives thoughtlessly. And that has a vibration all of its own, an attraction all of its own. You don't understand this person, you may think they are crazy or absurd, but you experience them – and there is something there. You don't understand what you are experiencing.

And you let yourself in only because of this other person. You believe it. That's how it was with Jesus. People didn't understand what he was talking about at all, but his energy was so strong, this attraction from this Heaven in him, this oneness with everything, had such power, and that simply convinced them – but not on a thought level, but deep down – and then they just followed him.

The second way is that you are touched by a person who lives thoughtlessly. This has a very special attraction. You don't understand this person, you think they're crazy or absurd, but you experience them – and there's something there. You don't understand what you're experiencing. And you let yourself in only because of this other person.

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Then you embark on this adventure of trying it out, because this other person talks about it, and something inside you says: "What he's saying is true!" And everything inside you rebels and says it can't be and it's impossible, but at the same time you feel exactly: "No, no. I know it's true. I know it's true." And then you try it out. These two possibilities exist.

That's how it was with Jesus. People didn't understand what he was talking about at all, but his energy was so strong, this attraction from this Heaven in him, this oneness with everything, had such power, and that simply convinced them – but not on a thought level, but deep down – and then they just followed him.

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But the thoughts themselves will never agree.

Then you embark on this adventure of trying it out, because this other person talks about it, and something inside you says: "What he's saying is true!" And everything inside you rebels, but at the same time you feel: "I know it's true." And then you try it out. But the thoughts themselves will never agree.

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And that is the step that every person has to take themselves. Every person has to become capable of this themselves, this first "and now I am ignoring them", or, to put it in Christian terms: "and now I believe in God; now I am surrendering." Everything in you says: "That's impossible! I have to do it. I have the say here. It's up to me!"

And at some point, you say: "Okay, and yet: now I am surrendering. Now I don't believe my thoughts." Every person has to take this step themselves, no one can avoid it. And if you don't want to or can't do it, then it's your problem, and it is so painful that you'll be ready to do it at some point. Yes, that's how it is with thoughts. Thanks, John.

Everything in you says: "Impossible!" And at some point, you say: "and yet: now I surrender. Now I don't believe my thoughts." Everyone has to take this step themselves, no one can avoid it. And if you don't want to or can't, it's your problem, and it's so painful that at some point, you'll be ready for it.

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I don't hear you, but I assume you said you didn't have a question.

[Simone:] Yes, I don't have a new question, exactly.

You can only start where you are

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[Dhyan Mikael:] Now I have another objection here from the same person who objected earlier on the wishes. "Good evening. Here again I sense a contradiction within itself, because observation is also a thought. Whether I think or observe that I think makes no difference to the mind. Because even, let's call it the meta-level of observation, is also just a thought. I think – I observe."

Yes, thank you very much. I am pleased about this persistent demand; about this persistent objection.

It is my experience that the most critical people, the ones with the most difficult questions, are the most mature. They are so close to God, they are so close to their souls, that there is only resistance. It is fascinating. Those who are indifferent to all this are beyond help. But those who are either on fire for it or who see it very, very critically are the ones with potential. That's great. That's why I am so pleased about such objections and comments.

In my experience, the most critical people, the ones with the most difficult questions, are the most mature. They are so close to God and their soul that resistance arises. Those who are indifferent to all this are beyond help. But those who are passionate about it or who see it critically are the ones with potential.

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And of course there's some truth in what you say. My thoughts are... Our normal state is to live in thought. It just is this way. So, how do I get out of it? I have to start somewhere – and I have to start where I am now. I take a step back. Yes – that's probably a thought: "I am taking a step back now", but I am taking a step back anyway, and then another one, and very gradually, very gradually, something clears up, as if smoke is evaporating; fog is dissipating; very gradually.

Our normal state is to live in thought. How do I get out of it? I have to start where I am now. I take a step back. Yes – it's probably a thought, but I take a step back anyway, and then another, and gradually something clears, like smoke evaporating; fog dissipating; very gradually.

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And it is my experience that there is a very fine line between being in thought and being thoughtless. It's a very, very fine line, and you're actually balancing on it all the time.

It is my experience that there is a very fine line between being in thought and being thoughtless. It's a very, very fine line, and you're actually balancing on it all the time.

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I said earlier: spiritual life is ultimately a permanent returning to oneself. Most people think there's a state where you're in thought, and then you learn to hop over into thoughtlessness and then you're a new person, you have a new life, and then it stays like that. That's not my experience. I don't think that's how it is. It's that this stepping back, this returning, becomes more normal, more and more normal, more and more natural.

Spiritual life is ultimately a permanent returning to oneself.

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And that's what happens – all the time. And that keeps you where you belong: in God's lap, so to speak, in this surrender. But you are actually always on the edge of the ego the whole time, always on the edge of thought. As soon as I stop letting go, as soon as I stop returning, stepping back, I am immediately back in thought. That's why you can't be lazy: you have to always be attentive. It's like you say.

Most people think you are in thought, and then you learn to hop over into thoughtlessness, and then you would be a new person. That's not my experience. This returning becomes more and more normal, more and more natural, and this keeps you where you belong: in God's lap, in this surrender.

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Then, after a while, you discover: "that, what I just thought was innocent attention, is actually just a thought", because you've become a bit quieter again, and you can see a bit more where you really were. It's a deep, deep swamp that we're pulling ourselves out of. It's not either-or, it's not black and white. It's a long journey.

You are actually always on the edge of the ego the whole time, always on the edge of thought. As soon as I stop letting go, as soon as I stop returning, stepping back, I am immediately back in thought. That's why you can't be lazy: you have to always be attentive.

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I let go of the thoughts and I rest in silence and that is so blissful, that is so beautiful. But the next day, what I found beautiful today is something where I realize: "Yes, but that's not the real thing either", because I've become a little quieter again, a little more subtle.

It's a deep swamp that we're pulling ourselves out of. It's not either-or, it's not black and white. I let go of the thoughts and rest in silence, but the next day, what I found beautiful today is something where I realize: "But that's not the real thing either", because I've already become a little quieter, a little more subtle.

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If you don't want to go down this path, then what I am trying to say in helpless words won't be convincing. But if you are looking for an excuse to try this, despite your critical thoughts, then I can only say to you: try it yourself; find out for yourself. Then you will know what Buddha was talking about. Then you'll know what Jesus was talking about and all those wonderful saints.

It simply is an invitation. It cannot be a discussion. No one can convince a critical mind. It's not possible. Only you can. Thank you, for writing like this. I really appreciate it very much.

If you don't want to go that way, what I say won't convince. But if you are looking for an excuse to try this despite your critical thoughts, I say to you: try it for yourself. This is an invitation. It cannot be a discussion. No one can convince a critical mind. Only you can.

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Support me if it gives you joy

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Oh, it's four o'clock. How did this happen? The nicer it gets, the faster time flies. It's really mean. So, I'd say we finish for today. I am delighted that you're here. I invite you to join us tomorrow as well, tomorrow afternoon. You can also write to me if you have a question. It usually takes me a while to reply, but I always reply, even if it sometimes takes a while. I ask for your patience.

And everything I do here, including everything online, all my videos, is all free. If you like it and if it gives you joy to support me, I am very happy about financial support, because it takes all my strength and time and also some funds to get it all up and running, although I like nothing better than that. And if you would like to support me: on my website, on the donation page, you will find information on how this is possible.

But it is very important to me that you know that you are always welcome here. I want you to be able to enjoy everything without the feeling of any obligation. Everything here is free, and it's all just for you – if you like. And I am just happy that you are here. And now I say: see you tomorrow, if you like. I am happy you are here.