Whitsun Intensive: Online Satsang of May 19, 2024

[Dhyan Mikael:] Welcome, Namaste.

Yes, welcome to this Whitsun Intensive today and tomorrow. Here's how it works: we can talk for an hour and a half now... that means: if you want, you can ask me a question via the chat in the Zoom broadcast or via the chat in the YouTube broadcast. But you can also talk to me directly via Zoom, if you like. For this, you simply give the hand sign in Zoom. And then I'll say something about the question, if I can, and we'll do that until half past three, and then, in the last half hour of this Intensive Satsang, we'll do the Samarpan Meditation together, if you like.

It lasts half an hour, and five minutes before that, I'll start to say a few things about it. This meditation is very easy, and even if you've never done it before, you're welcome to join in today. As I said: I'll tell you the little you need to know later. Yes, that's what we're doing today. It will end today at 16:00 h, and tomorrow at 14:00 h, we will continue with the second Satsang of this Intensive. Yes, and I'm looking forward to these two days; to this way of spending these two holidays together. Samarpita, do you already have any questions you could read out for me?

How to learn gratitude?

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[Samarpita:] Yes, Mikael, I have, from Brigitte. "Dear Mikael, can you tell me how I can learn gratitude?"

[Dhyan Mikael:] Ah, thank you. I didn't get the name right.

[Samarpita:] Brigitte.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Thank you. Hello Brigitte! Nice to have you here, and thank you for your question.

Gratitude is a feeling. You can't learn feelings, and you don't need to learn feelings.

But gratitude comes naturally when we start to really experience what is here for us right now. Normally, we live in our thoughts. We don't normally experience what is happening to us right now, we think about it. And that means... This thinking about it can take many different forms. It doesn't just mean that we brood over it and have concrete thoughts, but also when we evaluate something and think: "Oh, I like that!" or: "Oh, I don't like that"... These are thoughts.

But when we start to not think about what we are experiencing, but simply experience it, without deciding whether I like it or not, but simply experience it... in every moment, again and again, the entire life, the entire day... a life without judgment, so to speak.... then, gratitude arises in a very magical way of its own accord.

People always ask themselves how to become happy. Then they see a Master or a Guru, and they can sense that this person is thoroughly content and grateful and happy, and then they ask themselves: How does that work? Because from the outside, this person has exactly the same life as you.

They don't have more money, on the contrary, usually less or none at all. They don't live any differently than you. But how such a person perceives and experiences what they experience is completely different. And you can learn that, too. It's very easy. And gratitude is a by-product, so to speak. Trust, for example, is also a by-product of this. When you start to experience life as it really is, from moment to moment, again and again, again and again, then you start to realize how good life is, and then you start to trust, and you're just grateful all the time. That's how I feel.

So, you just have to take care of one thing, you have to learn how to do it: just be here, in this moment, and not focus your attention on thoughts, on what we normally think and want and wish and don't want. These are all thoughts.

And one way to learn this is, for example, what we do together later: the Samarpan Meditation. You train yourself, so to speak, not to focus your attention on your thoughts, but on the Crown Chakra, here, on this spot at the top of your head. This is not an esoteric exercise. It is not about imagining something, nor is it about feeling a certain way. It's actually quite easy, but it's about directing your attention away from your thoughts.

And only once you have tried it... when you start this meditation, when you sit down for half an hour and try to do this seemingly banal and simple exercise, to simply keep your attention up here, only then do you begin to realize how accustomed we are to being in our thoughts all the time, uninterruptedly, in our evaluations; in what we want or don't want or imagine or reject.

And when you then learn to become the Master of your attention – meaning that you can control where it is - then you can begin to simply experience what life is really like. This is the secret of life: this simple thing.

It takes a while to learn, not because it's so infinitely difficult. On the contrary, it is quite easy. The only reason it is so difficult for us is that we have practiced the opposite all our lives, every day, every moment. We don't know anything else yet. And this habit is very, very stubborn; that's all there is to it. It's basically about learning a new habit.

And then, gratitude comes naturally. I don't feel cheerful or happy all the time, but I am grateful all the time. I trust through and through, no matter how I feel, no matter what happens.

When you learn to become the Master of your attention – meaning that you can control where it is - then you can begin to simply experience what life is really like.

This is the secret of life: this simple thing. And then, gratitude comes naturally.

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That's a product of this 'living in the moment', and that's where Samarpan Meditation helps you. Thank you for your question.

Samarpita, do you have another question you can read out?

The blessing of separation

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[Samarpita:] Yes. Mike is here on Zoom who would like to ask a question.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Yes, hello Mike, hello to you.

I think you can talk now, Mike, if I'm not mistaken.

Something doesn't seem to be working.

[Samarpita:] I can also read out a question from the YouTube chat if you like.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Yes, please. Thank you, Samarpita.

[Samarpita:] Ah, wait a minute. Mike has now written the question.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Great, just read it out.

[Samarpita:] Gladly; here it is. "Dear Mikael, I feel very ambivalent. My partner broke up with me and with this, she hurt me a lot. We'll only be living together for about two more weeks until I move out. I want to be close to her, and so does she. It's so nice when she lies in my arms in the evening. Then it's as if there's no separation and there's hope that we'll stay together.

I then feel very connected to my feelings and also to the sadness of the separation. Even when I only think about her in a positive way, I feel this longing for connection and have the feeling that I am blocking out her dark sides. In order to feel more stable and cope well with moving out, I had to create distance.

When I pursue the need and longing for connection, it is often followed by a lot of pain, suffering and anger, that we only have a little time together. What can I do? Do I have to keep her away from me and close my heart to get back to myself? It is as if I have to choose between connection and my autonomy. What to do with my anger of abandonment and the pain of soon no longer having the connection?" That was the question.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Thank you, Mike. Thank you for describing this so beautifully, your situations and how you feel.

Yes, you describe it really beautifully. You experience these moments, and you say it quite explicitly: these moments where you just lie in each other's arms and where there are no expectations for a moment.

And then it's just beautiful, that's your connection. Then you feel the connection to yourself and also to her. But normally, we are not just in the moment and experience what is right now, but we think about tomorrow or yesterday. And we think about what we want tomorrow. And we think about yesterday and think about what we don't want to lose. And that is incredibly painful. And not only that.

These thoughts of yesterday and tomorrow not only produce very, very unpleasant painful feelings. These thoughts also prevent us from experiencing what is there now, and that is the really difficult thing. Then you miss out on the beautiful moments you could be having with her right now, and you also miss out on the moments when you could be with yourself, with your feelings. You ask: What to do with the anger? Where to put the pain?

The anger doesn't have to go anywhere, the pain doesn't have to go anywhere either. When you are here... not in your thoughts. If you're just here, where the pain is, where the anger is, then it's not a problem. Then you just sit at home alone on the sofa with your eyes closed, and you can't do anything else but feel it.

That's how you digest it. You often ask yourself: how can I cope with the situation? In the same way, very practically, very concretely. You cope with a crisis like this in life by dealing with what's happening inside you, with these feelings, with these emotions, by being with them, here, and not thinking about them; not even thinking about where they come from. You say that your partner broke up with you and caused you great pain as a result. That is not true.

Your partner broke up with you, and now you feel pain. It is your pain.

The pain is there, it's just there. It was already there before your partner broke up with you, you just didn't feel it.

It is this pain that you have been served many times in your life and you never wanted to feel it. Instead, we'd rather be angry or complain about other people, or run away from it.

But now, running away becomes more difficult because you like her.

You could just be angry at her now, or forget about her and run away. Then you'll experience the same thing again in the next situation. And life does this until we become willing to accept and feel these feelings that are inside us that we carry around with us all the time. And that doesn't happen in five minutes. It's something you do over and over and over again; me too.

This is life: Don't think about tomorrow. Feel the feelings that are here now, and let tomorrow surprise you. You don't know what tomorrow will look like. You don't know how you'll feel tomorrow. You don't need to worry about that. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Be here today. Be here today, with the Mike as he is right now.

This is life:

Don't think about tomorrow. Feel the feelings that are here now, and let tomorrow surprise you.

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And if you have a girlfriend, experience her: the beautiful sides, the sides you like, and the dark sides, the sides you don't like so much. A person has no dark side. But there are things about a person that are difficult for us. That's what we call the dark side. And just experience everything. And I mean that in a very practical way: feel what it's like to be with someone like that. One moment it's nice, the next moment it's difficult. It's such a dance.

A person has no dark side. But there are things about a person that are difficult for us.

That's what we call the dark side.

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What breaks in the process... You know, in reality, the pain that you feel right now, this great pain, comes from an illusion breaking. We thought we had found the person who makes us happy, and now we discover that this person doesn't make us happy, because he leaves us. But in reality, he doesn't make us happy because no person can make us happy. And now you discover that she also has a dark side. Everyone has a dark side. The happiness simply doesn't come from this other person, but we don't usually know that.

In reality, the pain that you feel comes from an illusion breaking.

We thought we had found the person who makes us happy, and now we discover that this person doesn't make us happy.

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But since we don't know where to look for happiness, we look for it in our partner, our lover, our wife or a man. And it's so incredibly difficult for us to see through this, because the whole world plays along with this game. The whole world believes in this romance; believes that relationships, partnerships, are here to make me happy. But it doesn't work that way. But because everyone believes it and countless books and films and poems are made about it, it's so firmly anchored in our consciousness, and we don't question it at all.

Since we don't know where to look for happiness, we look for it in our partner, our lover, our wife or a man. And it's so incredibly difficult for us to see through this, because the whole world plays along with this game.

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Our experience, which we have, says the opposite. Our experience says: I will not be happy with the other. But since the whole world acts as if it is like this, we believe: There's something wrong with me. We think: "It works for everyone, except me." Or we think we have the wrong partner. We think: "It works for everyone; the whole world is talking about it. Only I have the wrong partner."

Our experience says: I will not be happy with the other. But since the whole world acts as if it is like this, we believe: There's something wrong with me. Or we think we have the wrong partner.

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And this illusion that we all share is breaking for you right now, and that is very, very painful. It throws you back on yourself, and that's good. This is an infinite blessing. That's why a crisis like the one you're experiencing right now is so infinitely fruitful for you, Mike, because, whether you like it or not, it throws you back on yourself: to where your feelings are waiting for you.

That's why a crisis like the one you're experiencing right now is so infinitely fruitful for you, because, whether you like it or not, it throws you back on yourself:

to where your feelings are waiting for you.

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And you don't know what to do with yourself. You don't even know what to do with your feelings. You've spent your life doing things with other people, but never with yourself. You don't even know yourself. You don't even know who that is. You don't even know who lives in here. And that's so strange, it's so painful. And that's where you are right now.

You now have two options. You can believe that your partner, who broke up with you, is to blame for your misery.

Then you'll probably have a new girlfriend soon, with whom everything will be better for a while, and then you'll reach the same point. You've probably experienced this many times in this life. Or you can pause for a moment. That's what happened to me in my life. I was married three times in this life before I started the marriage that I'm in now, and I had other long relationships in between those three marriages, and each time I believed: this is it!

Now it works. I thought this must work. And at some point, I realized: wait a minute, something is not right here. I am looking for something in a place where it isn't at all. And that was the turning point in my life: when I began to suspect that what everyone believed in wasn't actually true, because I realized that it wasn't working in my life. And for decades I was firmly convinced that it was me. There are two types of people.

At some point, I realized: wait a minute, something is not right here. I am looking for something in a place where it isn't at all.

And that was the turning point in my life: when I began to suspect that what everyone believed in wasn't actually true.

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Some think it's because of their partner; they always complain about their partner. Other people think it's me – I was one of them. I thought I was doing something wrong. If only I could do it right, then she would stay with me, or then it would be nice. I tried everything, everything, over and over again. At some point, I realized: I'm looking in the wrong place. That threw me back on myself, and then, a difficult and painful time began for me.

There are two types of people. Some think it's because of their partner; they always complain about their partner. Other people think it's me – I was one of them. I thought I was doing something wrong.

At some point, I realized: I'm looking in the wrong place.

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When you have the courage to recognize the truth: "Ah, it's not there".... Yes, that's why it's so difficult to acknowledge: Okay, the other person can't make me happy. Because then, I'm suddenly faced with: what actually does make me happy? What am I doing with myself now, with my loneliness, with my forlornness?

That's why it's so difficult to acknowledge: Okay, the other person can't make me happy. Because then, I'm suddenly faced with:

what actually does make me happy? What am I doing with myself now, with my loneliness, with my forlornness?

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That's why nobody wants that. And then, making friends with it, very gradually... Learning to feel all these feelings, very gradually. That takes time. It changes your whole life when you're ready for it. You don't need to know how to do it. It's something you learn as you go. But you are ready for this new direction: "Okay, now I want to know who this Mike is.

Now I want to know what this Mike is all about"... Then, everything else comes naturally. Incidentally, this is also what we learn during Meditation: to focus our attention on ourselves and not on the other person, not on the story, the love story, the hopes, the wishes, the dreams.

And be patient with yourself. You know, these ideas are incredibly stubborn. We always think: "Ah, now I've got it!" You listen to me, and maybe what I'm saying makes total sense to you. But tomorrow or in a few days, you'll have completely forgotten it again. And that's normal, because everyone around you thinks that way and lives that way.

And if you have a TV and turn it on, you'll see it in every movie in one way or another, and in every book. And none of your neighbors, none of the movies you watch are about someone letting go of their desires and starting to look inward. You're all alone in that, except with a few crazy people like here in Satsang. That's why Satsang is so valuable, because you're reminded of it again and again.

None of your neighbors, none of the movies you watch are about someone letting go of their desires and starting to look inward.

You're all alone in that.

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And that's why you can ask me this question again and again, whenever you want. It takes a while to find your feet in these New. I recommend that you meditate every morning, and all the rest will fall into place. It's learning as you live.

Thank you, Mike. I love you.

Fear of being alone

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Samarpita, do you have anything else?

[Samarpita:] Yes, there is one more question, it comes from Heiko.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Hello Heiko, I'm happy you're here.

[Samarpita:] "Dear Mikael, I've been living alone for most of my life. Many friendships have slowly broken away, or interests have fundamentally shifted. Half a year ago, over night, I was overcome by a feeling of a deathly sad loneliness, which hasn't gone away since. Hardly any sleep.

As being alone was no longer bearable for me, I've been in a crisis ward for two weeks now, but I'll soon be able to get out again. I'm afraid to be alone in my apartment and have almost no one to talk to. Meditation doesn't work because the mind is too active. It doesn't solve my problems anyway. Absolutely hopeless. What else can I do? Sincerely, Heiko."

[Dhyan Mikael:] Thank you, Heiko. I'm very happy that you wrote this to me.

What you write reminds me a little of what I once experienced in my life. At some point, feelings suddenly came knocking at my door that I had never felt before, and I didn't know how to deal with them. I didn't end up in a psychiatric ward, but I did end up with a fortunately very good therapist, and with him I learned to feel these feelings and discover what was behind them, and to make friends with this threatening thing that I had discovered inside me. It took a while.

And I believe that in everyone's life, we are led to what helps us, for example, in your case, the psychiatric crisis ward you are currently in.

You know, we live our lives, and at the beginning, we are not able to feel many of the feelings that we carry around with us. We can't do that at all. We are not stable enough; we are not strong enough. And at some point, after we have lived for a few decades, at some point we will have grown up enough, became stable enough, that we can begin to get to know the difficult that lies within us.

This is not particularly pleasant when it happens, but it is good news. This is a turning point in life. And I'm telling you this to give you a sense that what's happening to you right now, even if it's really difficult, really unpleasant, that it's a good thing.

That these feelings that you have now and that you can't deal with at the moment... that they are coming to you now means that something in you has now become ready for them. Of course, you can't do it alone at the moment, and you don't need to.

But I would like to encourage you to be open to facing it in the future– somehow. Life will help you. You don't need to run away from it.

You say that meditating is not possible because what is happening in your head is far too present. There is a slight misunderstanding about meditation. Of course, I'm only talking about Samarpan Meditation.

Most people think that when they do Samarpan Meditation, it's about sitting down and being still in your head for half an hour. But as you report, it doesn't work at all. It doesn't work for me either. But that's not the point at all. In this meditation, what it is about is to repeatedly withdraw our attention from that what we encounter all the time, playfully... It's not serious. It's like a little game. There's this point up here, the Crown Chakra.

You can feel it when you put your hand on it. And if you go there with your attention... If you close your eyes and rest your attention on this point... That is very, very interesting. When you do that, it's as if you've found a kind of refuge, a kind of sanctuary from all the madness that's going on one story below, all the thoughts and all the fears. And of course we can't stay there. It's the same for everyone.

A few minutes... a few seconds or a few minutes later, you realize: Ah, I'm back in the movie. And then: just go back up here with your attention. That's what meditation is all about: always returning to this place of refuge, this safe haven, again and again, no matter how often. Even if you do it ten times a minute, that's not the problem. There are people who think they're doing something wrong, or they can't meditate because it doesn't get quiet. That is not the aim of meditation. Silence comes into life when you meditate, very gradually, very gradually – but not in meditation.

In meditation, we learn to take our attention for a brief moment and put it where we want it to be, namely here (in the crown chakra), despite all the noise, despite the madness in our heads. And then we can relax for a very brief moment, even if it's just for a second. So, it's not serious, it's not serious at all. You don't have to fight against anything, you don't fight against thoughts, you don't fight against fears, on the contrary. They can still be there. But then you discover a kind of shelter, a kind of island that you can return to again and again. That's how it is for me.

Silence comes into life when you meditate – but not in meditation.

In meditation, we learn to take our attention for a brief moment and put it where we want it to be, despite all the noise, despite the madness in our heads.

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Be patient with yourself and know that you don't have to do it alone. Life will send you help. What that looks like is different for everyone. You will experience that in your life. Right now, you are in good hands on this ward, and then, something else will come up for you, something where life will help you with your very special situation to take the next step. And if it is a help to you, then just meditate. And as I said, it's not about achieving anything; it's simply a help. And I'm happy for you to stay in touch if you like. Thank you.

I am with you.

Samarpita, how are things looking?

[Samarpita:] No further questions at the moment.

What to do with resistance?

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[Dhyan Mikael:] Yes, fine. Then I'll read out a question that reached me by e-mail.

"Dear Mikael, I'm quite desperate at the moment. I've now completed forty-five days of meditation and really want to continue. But it's getting harder and harder; the resistance is stirring with incessant negative thoughts, for example: 'It's no use. You won't make it anyway.' In short: the moments of attention at the Crown Chakra become fewer instead of more. Feelings of failure and even self-hatred arise during meditation, but also during the rest of the day. I know all your advice, from accepting to letting it be the way it is, to letting go.

But what to do with the resistance? Don't fight it, you say. But if I allow it, then I'm gone again – as I have been so many times before. What is the difference between 'accepting resistance and letting it be' and letting it go? If I give in to everything that comes up, then I'll eat bad stuff all day long; then I hardly ever get up from the couch, I hardly ever go out, and there's no question of meditating. And your videos suddenly don't appeal to me either."

The question goes a bit further, but I'd like to say a little about it here.

It's like this: Meditating is not at all about discovering stillness. The opposite happens. That's why you meditate! Look, it's like this: When you're busy, when you're working or cooking or talking to people or watching a movie, your whole system is busy and you don't notice the thoughts at all that are constantly controlling you, and that's comfortable for us.

Meditating is not at all about discovering stillness. The opposite happens. That's why you meditate!

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That's why we like to distract ourselves so much. It's not good, but we feel somewhat okay. But if we sit down and do nothing... When we sit down, close our eyes and have no goal and nothing to do at all, then it gets loud. It was already loud before; we just didn't notice it. Now you notice it. And that's not a problem – on the contrary. That's good. That's why we meditate: so that we can perceive this noise.

When we sit down, close our eyes and have no goal and nothing to do at all, then it gets loud. It was already loud before; we just didn't notice it. Now you notice it. And that's not a problem – on the contrary.

That's why we meditate: so that we can perceive this noise.

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Most people always believe that they should then perceive silence, but that's not what you sit down to meditate for. You sit down to meditate in order to hear the noise that is there, and then, despite the noise, despite the thoughts, despite the evaluations, you always come back to this haven of peace; again and again. And you don't have to fight to do that; you don't have to fight against the noise. You just go up one floor and rest, again and again, again and again.

You sit down to meditate in order to hear the noise that is there, and then, despite the noise, despite the thoughts, despite the evaluations, you always come back to this haven of peace; again and again.

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It's basically a very simple thing; simply because there's nothing at all for you to achieve here. It's not that you're supposed to achieve a certain state within this half hour that you meditate in the morning. You can't perceive the magical things that happen in this meditation.

It's not that you're supposed to achieve a certain state within this half hour that you meditate in the morning.

You can't perceive the magical things that happen in this meditation.

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One thing that happens is that by focusing your attention again and again on this resting place up here, despite the noise... It's like you're exercising an invisible muscle inside you.

And it's always like that... When you start, for example, with physical exercises... The first thing you realize when you start to learn a new physical exercise, be it with weights or with gymnastics... The first thing you realize is how out of shape you are. You realize: I can barely get this light little weight up, and afterwards my arm hurts. Or you realize how tense you are. But that's why you do the exercise: to change that.

And it's the same with meditation. At the beginning, we can barely hold our attention in the crown chakra for five seconds because everything in our head, all the thoughts, seem so convincing and we immediately fall for them again. But that's why we meditate. It's not a problem at all. So, this muscle, this strength, this ability to become the Master of your attention, that is trained. And as with all exercises, it simply takes time. It doesn't happen overnight.

And the other thing that happens, which is also completely hidden from you, you can't perceive it: When you rest with your attention up here, you connect with something that you can't see, that you can't feel. But it is as if when you rest there, you become connected to a power and a help that will increasingly help you in life. But as I said, this also happens firstly gradually, and secondly in a way that you cannot perceive directly. If you meditate for a while, then you will gradually get a feeling for it. But you need a little patience.

Basically, it's quite simple, you know. And it's easy because all you really need to know is what you want. If you say, "If it doesn't matter how badly I meditate; if it doesn't matter what's going on in my head then... Just keep going up here with the attention, I can do that, I want to do that", then there's no problem.

Swamiji, this Indian Guru who brings this very meditation to us into society, literally says: "It's not up to you how well you meditate." It's not up to you at all to meditate well, that's not the point at all. That's the biggest misunderstanding that people have about this meditation. And then you get frustrated, and then the thoughts come and say: you can't do it anyway and it doesn't lead to anything.

Then you sit down, and after five minutes all you feel are thoughts, and then the thoughts say to you: "you see, it's not working, why don't you just forget about it". But that's not the point. Just keep going. What is also very, very helpful is that you keep connecting with people who do the same. That's why I keep making new videos, for example; that's why I do these Online Satsangs whenever I can: simply to give people like you the opportunity to keep docking on.

Otherwise, it's like sinking into your own swamp, the swamp of these beliefs: "Oh, I'm doing everything wrong and it's of no use anyway." And then you sit in Satsang again and listen, and suddenly it all makes sense again, and suddenly you feel quite naturally that this is the way. You don't even know what was riding you yesterday or this morning.

And then, a day later, Satsang is over, those old beliefs come back, and then we sink back into this other reality that is built by our thoughts. And that's why it's so helpful to be in Satsang again and again. Or... For example, I regularly read Swamiji's autobiography every day. Firstly, I find it totally exciting to read, but also: it always brings me back to this Guru's energy, as if I were with him.

It's contagious. And if you do that again and again, over and over again, then it becomes easier to go in this new direction. That's what it's all about: finding tricks and tools that make it easier to stay on the path, instead of doing what you've been doing all your life and which leads to nothing; those old habits.

I'd like to take a quick look now to see if I've forgotten anything important.

Yes, you say... I would like to say something about that briefly. You say: If you let yourself go, if you are as you really are, then none of this will work. Then you won't get up from the sofa all day, and you won't watch any more Satsangs or videos.

You say: if you don't fight these tendencies, it won't work. And we believe that.

And what I'm suggesting to you sounds totally crazy, because I'm telling you: don't fight. I really mean it the way I say it: be the way you are. Allow yourself to be the way you are. And if that means you never get off the sofa again: be that way. I wonder how long you'll last on the sofa if you give yourself full permission to stay there forever and eat as much as you like. Go to the supermarket, buy the best junk food you like to eat, all the things that are forbidden.

Stuff your living room with it so that you don't have far to go; then you won't even have to get up from the sofa. I really mean it. I really mean it the way I am saying it right now: give yourself permission to be the way you are. And if you have permission, then see how long you really want to do that. If you don't want to watch any more videos of Mikael, don't watch any more videos. Give yourself full permission for it.

You say: if you don't fight these tendencies, it won't work. And we believe that.

And what I'm suggesting to you sounds totally crazy, because I'm telling you: don't fight.

I really mean it the way I say it: be the way you are.

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And then see how long you really want to – if everything is allowed. That's the bottom line, you know. Only when you give yourself permission for everything, only then can you discover what you really want. And I'll tell you one thing: you'll be surprised. Swamiji says: "Don't change. Be as you are – but meditate." By 'but meditate' he means: be here. Experience it as it really is. Eat as much as you want – but meditate, so that you experience what you are doing; so that you are here.

Only when you give yourself permission for everything, only then can you discover what you really want.

And I'll tell you one thing: you'll be surprised.

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We believe: I must not let myself be the way I am. That goes wrong. For you, it's now the sofa and food. Everyone has their own favorite story.

And by fighting against ourselves, we ensure that we stay in this place forever and never get a single step further in life. And as soon as you allow yourself to be the way you are, completely and utterly... You don't have to tell anyone about it, you can do it in secret because everyone thinks you're crazy, except me. Or... I learned it from Soham, my Master. He doesn't think it's crazy either.

We believe: I must not let myself be the way I am.

And by fighting against ourselves, we ensure that we stay in this place forever and never get a single step further in life.

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If you give yourself permission to be as crazy as you are and not to judge yourself... Suddenly then a new freedom comes in, and things happen that you can't imagine. I promise you. But meditate: that's the one helpful thing. It helps you to dock again and again. Meditate for half an hour, and spend the rest of the day doing nothing but nonsense.

And meditation itself, as I tried to explain to you, is not serious either. It's not about something either. You don't need to achieve anything; you don't need to do it well. Just keep jumping up here with your attention (to the Crown Chakra). Anyone can do that; anyone, really. Thank you. Thank you for this beautiful question.

If you give yourself permission to be as crazy as you are and not to judge yourself... Suddenly a new freedom comes in, and things happen that you can't imagine. But meditate: that's the one helpful thing.

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When you can no longer feel anything

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Samarpita, do you have anything by now, or may I continue?

[Samarpita:] Yes! The question comes from Manfred.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Hello Manfred.

[Samarpita:] "Dear Mikael, I have the feeling that my life is at a standstill. Nothing has been happening for a long time, as if my energy has stopped. I miss this vitality. I no longer feel it. Nothing comes to me anymore (in a positive sense). I can't feel joy or sadness, and whether I go on vacation or stay at home, it doesn't change the way I feel. My biggest problem is also allowing my feelings.

I can't manage to get into the feeling, as if a block or protective function in me prevents me from expressing emotional feelings. As if it is not allowed. But in the rarest of cases, with beautiful music or with people who put on a great show, I am able to get into the feeling and feel it. How can I release this block in me? Because that must be the problem. So, what can I do? Kind regards, Manfred."

[Dhyan Mikael:] Thank you, Manfred. Thank you for your wonderful question.

You say: "That must be the problem. There must be feelings somewhere and I don't feel them, so something must be wrong."

I can tell you two things about that. One is: Only worry about what's here, and don't worry at all about what's not here.

Maybe you know this. When you listen to loud rock music, you hear it well. And then you turn off the music, and then you don't hear anything at all. It's completely quiet, you can't hear anything. And then it's quiet for one, two, three minutes, three, four minutes, and slowly, your ears start to hear very quiet things. And if there are no other loud noises in the surroundings, then you hear more and more quiet things. Your ears slowly become more sensitive after the loud noises have gone.

And it's the same with feelings. We live in a strange world. We live in an incredibly insensitive world, and people need everything loud and everything intense to perceive even a little bit; to feel a little bit alive – because they have become so insensitive.

We live in a strange world. We live in an incredibly insensitive world, and people need everything loud and everything intense to perceive even a little bit; to feel a little bit alive – because they have become so insensitive.

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And when you no longer have these big feelings and the noise, then you think something is wrong with you. Just listen more closely. Become more sensitive. You don't need to turn up the emotions, but listen more closely. And that, by the way, is exactly what happens during Samarpan Meditation.

In reality, Samarpan Meditation is a training to become more sensitive. The entire human system gradually becomes more and more sensitive as a result.

And that's why so many miracles happen through this meditation: because then, you feel more and more. Life becomes quieter and quieter, and you feel more and more.

In reality, Samarpan Meditation is a training to become more sensitive. The entire human system gradually becomes more and more sensitive as a result.

And that's why so many miracles happen through this meditation: because then, you feel more and more.

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That is one thing. The other is: what happens in your life is good.

The normal person lives in this loud madness out there, in the big feelings, in relationships, in shows, everything that stimulates us in some way. That makes us happy for very brief moments, but of course that's not happiness. It's a brief feeling that's gone again after a few seconds – completely empty. It gives you nothing.

And at some point, you just don't care about all that stuff anymore, like you do. You could go to shows, or you could stimulate yourself somehow, but you don't feel like it anymore, because you know it's all nonsense. And then, life goes quiet. And that's the time... There are two possibilities. The normal person becomes depressed now. It's called midlife crisis.

This is the time when you've lived long enough in life to realize: it's all nonsense what's going on. You've lived long enough to know: everything you've tried all your life isn't it. It doesn't make you happy. But you don't know what else could make you happy. And then, people become unhappy when they get to the point where they have no idea where else to look, so to speak.

The normal person becomes depressed now. It's called midlife crisis. This is the time when you've lived long enough in life to realize: it's all nonsense what's going on. It doesn't make you happy.

But you don't know what else could make you happy.

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At some point, you can no longer go along with the madness, and then life becomes quiet, everything slows down. But there is of course another way, and that is the way inwards. This is the time in life when this path can open up – if you want it to. And you may be at that point right now. I can't judge, but it sounds like it to me. If you start meditating now, different things will happen by themselves. You will become more sensitive.

You will feel more and more, so much so that you will soon stop complaining that there is nothing going on. And through meditation, you will discover a new world, the world inside that has nothing to do with feelings, nothing to do with the body and nothing to do with the world. I could also put it religiously now. This is the way to discover what is eternal.

What you really are, this inner being, this inner core, which is also called the soul, although of course most people don't even know what it is, it is timeless. You have always been. For you, this is an empty sentence right now when I say it like that – not for me -, but this sentence then gradually becomes alive for you. You begin to experience this part of you that is eternal, and then these things that you are experiencing right now are completely unimportant.

This is the way to discover what is eternal.

What you really are, this inner core, which is also called the soul, it is timeless. You have always been.

For you, this is an empty sentence right now, but this sentence then gradually becomes alive for you. You begin to experience this part of you that is eternal.

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This is the great opportunity in a person's life, when you get to this point where the outer life has lost its attraction and lost its power of persuasion: now you're ready to go inwards. And some people do that, and that's actually what we're here for.

This is the great opportunity in a person's life, when you get to this point where the outer life has lost its attraction and lost its power of persuasion: now you're ready to go inwards.

And some people do that, and that's actually what we're here for.

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Basically, I recommend that you do what I said at the beginning of this Satsang: Don't think about how it used to be, but experience how it is for you now. Look very closely. How do I feel right now? Is there really nothing there? Maybe you'll eat dinner later and make yourself a sandwich... How does it taste? How does it feel? How does it smell? You're lying in bed.

Don't think about how it used to be, but experience how it is for you now.

Look very closely.

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How does it feel to lie in bed? How do you feel... the subtle things. And then: meditate again and again, and come here again and again (to the Crown Chakra), very quietly and very simply.

That is the invitation of this phase of life that you are entering.

And then: meditate again and again, and come here again and again to the Crown Chakra, very quietly and very simply.

That is the invitation of this phase of life that you are entering.

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When you settle into it, once you've been on this path for a while, you never want to go back to the life you're missing. You can't.

Once you've been on this path for a while, you never want to go back to the life you're missing.

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I don't know if that was helpful for you. If you have another question, please let me know or send me an email if you like – whatever you prefer. Thank you, Manfred.

Encountering the living Jesus

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Samarpita, how are things looking.

[Samarpita:] There is a question from Brigitte.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Yes, very nice.

[Samarpita:] She wants to know if you know when Swamiji will be back in Germany.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Oh, that's a great question. I don't know exactly, but I've heard that he's coming in June. Swamiji is in England right now giving retreats, and what I've heard is that he's planning to come to Germany in June. And I assume and I hope that he will do something here in Germany with us. When that happens, I will of course tell everyone immediately in my newsletter, but you can also subscribe to Swamiji's newsletter. And of course, I'll go there when he comes to Germany, that's not even a question.

Yes, it's funny. I'm one of those funny birds. Ever since I heard about Swamiji for the very first time, I don't know why, I've just been totally with him, as if I've been his disciple for many lifetimes; I probably was. But I never had any desire to go to India. Many from Germany went to India to meet him there. I didn't want to, I never felt like it. But I am always so happy when he is in Germany, and it is such a blessing for me to meet this living Jesus. It is indescribable.

It's not like I'm sitting near him when he gives a discourse and I'm floating in bliss or anything like that. It's not like that at all. I would like to briefly describe what that is like for me, because most people misunderstand it. As humans, we are normally so focused on these feelings. But I was in Satsang with my spiritual Master Soham for over twenty years, and I was in charge of the equipment. I was busy in every Satsang. And it is the same with Swamiji.

When he comes, I've always done the technique, and I think that's great. Then I am busy and I take care of everything, and Swamiji speaks. And I feel good, that's not a problem at all, but the magical thing now is not this immediate emotional feeling that I have when he's there but: In the weeks afterwards after I met him, it is as if my life changes in fast motion, as if he's sprinkled a catalyst into me, and then lots and lots of things happen in the weeks and months that follow. My whole life changes.

Sometimes I feel like I'm suddenly in an elevator that takes me up as many floors in just a few weeks as it would otherwise take me years. So, it's something quite indirect, something subtle that happens; something that you can easily overlook if you're not patient. For me, it is the greatest blessing. I'm glad you asked. And if you often come to my Satsang or receive my newsletter: as soon as I know something, I'll write it in there.

And of course, Swamiji also has a website, he has his own website here in Germany. There is an association here, samapan-meditation.de is the website, it will of course also be on there, and as I said, they also have their own newsletter. Thank you.

Support me if it gives you joy

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Yes, and since we're already talking about such administrative things, I'd like to make one more comment. I always forget to do this, and at the end there's no time left. Everything I do is free because what I distribute here doesn't belong to me. It didn't grow out of me, it's not my wisdom; I was given it as a gift. Everything I say was given to me – I don't know how... in twenty years with my spiritual Master, in the years with Swamiji through meditation.

And that's why I pass on everything without it costing anything, and it will always be like that, there's no other way. But if you it gives you joy to support me so that these Satsangs are possible, so that my videos are possible, so that I have time to take care of all these things, then I am very happy about financial support. As I said, is not necessary. Just do it if you feel like it. And if you want to, there's a page on my website called 'Donate' and you can find information on how to do that.

Yes, that is what I wanted to mention. And I would also like to mention that what makes this Satsang possible in the first place is Jetzt-TV and Devasetu, who works tirelessly to make such things possible. He also needs financial support, and if you feel like supporting Jetzt-TV, you are welcome to do so. You can also find the relevant information on their website. It's very easy. Yes, so much for that. Samarpita, should I continue?

[Samarpita:] Yes, you're welcome to continue, there are no questions at the moment.

[Dhyan Mikael:] Then I'll see what else I have here.

When the guru says terrible things

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"Dear, dear Mikael, there are always things that Swamiji says that I find quite terrible; that seem to me to be from the 1950s, when people still thought they had to impose their own will on children, bend them and also educate them with threats. No matter how the parents were and behaved: children had to submit. And above all: they had to feel guilty if they did not make their parents happy.

And this is exactly what Swamiji said in his autobiography. He said: If we don't make him happy, then he can't give us anything. Wow, we have to make him happy? God's love is unconditional. That's the only way I can live at all. God accepts us as we are – or is that not the case? And Swamiji also says: we should see him as God, not as a person. But as a Guru... how can he then demand that we should or even have to make him happy?"

Oh, thank you for this question. I'm so glad you asked it. I'm so glad because we here in the West have incredible problems with this concept of 'Guru' and this word 'Guru'.

It's like this: We are maltreated children. Many of us, and the questioner, I know her personally, comes from a time when it was still very common for children to be maltreated.

And it's like this: when we are small children, our parents, our mother, are God to us. And if they are not loving towards us, cannot love us unconditionally – and what parents can do that? –, then we learn as children: God doesn't love me. God only has demands of me, only conditions, none of which I can fulfill. That's how we grow up. Of course, this has nothing to do with God, but for a child, the mother is God and the father is God, Almighty. There is no difference.

And if you are such a traumatized child, then later in life you will experience this God in everything that you encounter, regardless of whether he is really like your parents back then or not. And then, you won't be able to hear him because you will see evidence of it everywhere: God is terrible.

I would like to tell you two things about this. First of all, I want to tell you what Swamiji is really saying, and then, I want to give you a hint on how you can manage to hear it that way.

A Guru doesn't need anything from you. That's why he is a Guru: he needs nothing anymore – nothing at all.

How you live, whether you love him or not, whether you make him happy or not, whether you worship him or not, whether you do what he recommends, whether you meditate or not, he couldn't care less, that doesn't change his happiness. And Swamiji even says this quite explicitly. He says: His job is to distribute the meditation... simply to tell people: this is how it works, if you want. This is just an offer. He touches each person once and says: "Here, look, this is how it works."

And whether this person then takes it up or not is not his concern at all. That's how he expresses it. What makes him happy is passing on this path that enables every normal person to come to God; to go to Heaven. That is what makes him happy. That's why he talks about these things. But whether you then do that or not, whether you then do the things that actually make you happy or not, doesn't change his life at all. That is entirely your business, and mine, the business of each individual.

A Guru doesn't need anything from you. That's why he is a Guru: he needs nothing anymore – nothing at all.

How you live, whether you love him or not, whether you worship him or not, whether you meditate or not, that doesn't change his happiness.

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That's how it is for me too. I make these videos because I can't help it. It just makes me happy. Whether someone hears it is another matter. I would make videos even if no one was watching, simply because God gives me the desire and the joy to do it, and that's why I do it. And that's important because it sets you free. You are completely free. God or the Guru doesn't expect anything from you – nothing at all. He only gives you hints on how it is possible for you. It's only for you, not for him.

I would make videos even if no one was watching, simply because God gives me the desire and the joy to do it, and that's why I do it. And that's important because it sets you free.

You are completely free. God or the Guru doesn't expect anything from you – nothing at all.

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I would like to remind you of what Jesus once said. People came to Jesus, and Jesus did nothing. A Guru does nothing. A Guru simply is. Miracles happen because of what a Guru is like, his inner state of mind. I don't do anything here either, and yet some people are touched, that's the effect. And then, people came to Jesus and were healed.

People were healed physically, people were healed emotionally, people began to live, began to feel again, began to have joy in life again, to be happy. And they were infinitely grateful to him and said: Lord, thank you, you have healed me. And Jesus said something very significant. He said: your faith has healed you. And he meant that quite literally. He is saying: He has done nothing, but the person who came to him was open.

The word 'faith' is misunderstood in English, it is an unfortunate translation. What is meant by it is this trust; not this blind faith, but this: you trust, although you don't even know why. This person comes along and you just love him; you don't know at all why. This experienced trust, this openness... you simply feel openness towards this being. And because you feel this openness, this trust... this trust makes you open, and then you can receive, and that heals you.

God holds nothing back. Jesus always said: You have closed the doors and windows of your house, that's why it's dark in your homes. But as soon as we trust, we open up. And as soon as we open up, God flows into us and we are healed.

God holds nothing back. Jesus always said: You have closed the doors and windows of your house, that's why it's dark in your homes. But as soon as we trust, we open up.

And as soon as we open up, God flows into us and we are healed.

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The advice that a Guru like Swamiji gives points exactly to this. He says: If you feel openness towards me, then it can happen. Then I can give you something. He does not give anything. It flows by itself. It only depends on your openness, and of course you can't do that. It's an emotional thing that happens or it doesn't happen. But that's what he points out.

You can do things that promote your trust and openness, and then you can receive, then you can also understand him. And that's where the cat bites the tail, as they say.

If we are a traumatized child, and most of us are, I am one of those, then we are not trusting. That's the thing about traumatized people: They don't feel safe anywhere, they don't feel trust anywhere. There is no openness. And then someone like Jesus comes along – Swamiji is nothing other than the Jesus of today, God in today's form - and we are not open, but not because he is evil, but because we are not open. We are not open. We cannot be open, because openness has been driven out of us. And that is your challenge.

And then someone like Jesus comes along and we are not open, but not because he is evil, but because openness has been driven out of us. And that is your challenge.

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You know yourself; you know your life; you know why you are the way you are. You know your biography, you know what in life has made you like this, and you realize: I can't trust, I'm not open at all. How can I become open? That is the issue for you. How can I become open despite my pain, despite the trauma.

And you can do that by... and this is the second thing I would like to say to you: for people like you, it is crucial that you find a way to make peace with your inner state, with your feelings, to make peace with the trauma. There are different ways – life will show you which one – but that is your task at the moment: to make peace with the way things are for you. And once you are able to feel everything that lies dormant within you, you will discover: Ah, it doesn't kill me after all, and then you will open up more and more.

The opening must begin where you are right now. You are completely closed, because as soon as you open up even a little bit, all these feelings come up, all of which are very, very difficult for you. And that's why you stay closed, and that's also completely normal. And I'm grateful that you're so sincere and honest and say: "I'm closed, and he's just saying garbage, this guy." It's good that you're being true to yourself. Because there's no point in displaying a fake openness about it. That only makes things worse, of course.

Openness has to start where you are right now, and that's why your task right now is to very gradually and infinitely patiently somehow find a way to make peace with what you're sitting on, within yourself... to make peace with this; to become open to it. To become open to how it is for you, for your feelings, for your life.

And if you are open to that, then you are automatically open to all the rest. That's why meditation is so infinitely helpful for maltreated children like you and me: because we learn to be here in a very indirect and infinitely gentle way, without having to do any difficult things.

Just forget the Guru. Forget the God. Just become open to how it is for you right now: to this person that you are and to everything that she is carrying around with her.

And meditate as best you can. Not the way you think a Swamiji wants it – he doesn't want anything, of course, but that's how we feel naturally –, but the way you can; the way you like it. Nurture this openness, and the rest will happen by itself.

Just forget the Guru. Forget God. Just become open to how it is for you right now: to this person that you are and to everything that she is carrying around with her.

And meditate as best you can.

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I totally love you.

Thank you for writing.

Now we're meditating

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I just saw that it's already half past three. I don't know how this is possible... Devasetu has dug a time hole, and every time I do Satsang, time goes by twice as fast as usual. That's totally mean. I would now like to use the few remaining minutes until it's half past three to say a few sentences about Samarpan Meditation so that you can meditate with me now, if you like. I have already mentioned a few times during Satsang what we do, practically. I will repeat it again. What we do in this meditation is very simple.

For half an hour, we practice being up here at this point in the head with this inner attention – a very easy, simple matter, actually. And we start the meditation as follows, in a few minutes: you close your eyes, and then you take your flat hand and place it on the top of your head, here, and then you make three clockwise circles on this top spot with your flat hand. This will warm this area of the head a little and activate it. And then, you gradually take your hand down again, and your attention now remains where your hand was. And we simply leave it there.

This meditation is not about imagining anything, nor is it about becoming calm; on the contrary. When you do this, you will notice how loud it really is in your head, and it is good to be aware of this, and then still keep your attention here, or return to it if you get lost in your thoughts again, or if your big toe itches and you suddenly find yourself with your attention on your big toe. As soon as you notice it, simply come back up here with your attention very elegantly.

There is absolutely no reason to blame yourself or to think: "I can't do it" or "I've done something wrong", because you can't do this meditation wrong. There is no goal. So, there is no specific state that you have to reach. That's not the point at all, on the contrary. It's about you simply playing with your attention, just the way you are, and parking it up here again and again... again and again, again and again. That's all there is to it. And resist the temptation to go into any imaginations.

Simply, as directly and banal and pure as possible, simply feel this body part here... keep coming back here with your attention. It sounds like nothing at all – and that changes your life. And we're going to do it like this right now: when I tell you that we are going to start, I'm going to put my hand on my head. You can then do the same, make these three circular movements, take your hand down again, and then we say the so-called Soul Mantra. It's very simple: "I am a holy soul. I am a pure soul." This is a reminder of who we really are.

We have nothing to do with this body, nothing to do with our thoughts, but of course we don't know what this soul is supposed to be. But if you've meditated for a few years, then you know that. And after I have said this mantra three times, and you can repeat it three times for yourself if you like, then you just sit there for half an hour with your eyes closed and do what I have just described. And at the very end, I will bring you back from meditation, and then Satsang is over. You can sit however you like. The recommendation is that you sit with your back as straight as possible.

This is particularly helpful for the flow of energy during meditation. I like to sit cross-legged, but you can of course also sit on a chair. If you are sitting on a chair, it is helpful to have your feet on the floor. If you can sit cross-legged, it's good because then your buttocks are on the floor, which is good for grounding. But the crucial thing is that it's easy for you. The only important thing is what we do with our attention. How we sit, where our hands are, that's all secondary. That's it; it's that simple.

Meditation

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And that's what we're going to do together now. Just join in if you want.

I am a holy soul.

I am a pure soul.

I am a holy soul.

I am a pure soul.

I am a holy soul.

I am a pure soul.

Thank you for meditation.

You can now slowly open your eyes again.

Thank you for Satsang. I look forward to tomorrow. If you like: tomorrow at 2 pm, we'll continue. I'm happy that you are here.

I love you.