The Price of Heaven

Good morning.

I am so happy that I can make a video again. It has been almost 2 months since my last video. In the meantime, I did a lot of Online Satsangs, but now I'm really happy that I can sit in front of the camera like this and record a video again.

But somehow, this break was necessary.

Usually, we humans think that we know how things will continue, and, usually, we think that things should continue the way they have been. And I am not an exception. I used to do one or two videos every week, and I thought it should continue like this. But then there was a point where suddenly I couldn't do this anymore.

Suddenly, it was like other things needed my attention so the videos can continue. It is like I forgot other basic tasks in my enthusiasm and in my joy for the videos – for instance, the task to take care of Mikael so I don't get worn out and stressed, but also other tasks which just need to be done so everything is in balance and so that everything is easy.

And it took a long time for me to catch up and to learn this. But now it's time that I can start again.

And during this time, just a week ago, I met my Guru Swamiji again. He was here in Germany, and he held a discourse last Saturday, and I was there.

And I experienced this a few times in the past already. When I meet him, afterwards, it is as if life has changed; as if I changed, although I can't really explain what this means.

And it was the same this time, and it was especially strong this time. So, after a break, when we start doing things again, usually, everything is new, and after I met my Guru, everything is new, also. So, this is very exciting and such a joy for me today.

If you watch this video on YouTube, you might have seen that on my YouTube channel, you haven't seen a new video in 6 or 7 weeks. But all the Online Satsangs, I did in the meantime, those you can find on my website. They are being published on other channels, not on my YouTube channel, but on my website, you find all the videos, including the Online Satsangs. And in my YouTube channel, in the playlists, there I have references to all the other videos which have been published on other channels, which are also with me. So, there you find everything.

In this video, I would like to talk about original trust.

This is something we humans really long for: this ability to just say 'yes', to just feel carried, to trust that life is good and okay.

And I got inspired for this by an email I received, and I will read out the email in a moment and then talk about the subject. If you have questions which you would like to ask me, I am very, very happy to receive your questions. And on my website, on the Ask-me page, you find my contact information and how you can get in touch with me. And I will answer each and every question.

I do this in a video, so that everybody can benefit from the answer. And when you write to me by email or by letter, I will answer you in any case, but sometimes, it takes a while. I just have to take my time for everything, and I am slow. But I will answer you even if it takes a few weeks or even months. So, this being said, I'll now read out the email I received.

Trust is a very peculiar thing

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This email is from the beginning of April. I am more than 2 months behind with answering questions. But as I said: every question will be answered. It just takes a little while.

"I just left an unhappy relationship in which I was again far too focused on the other person, and I felt dependent. I managed to distance myself from it. Financially, I'm currently dependent on welfare. I haven't had any work for a year now. I had a very good year in 2022, and now I have to pay the taxes for it, but I can't. And this makes a part of me very scared and desperate, and it helps me a lot to hear your explanations. Otherwise, I would just go crazy or collapse.

I'm very glad that I came across you and that I can listen to this again and again, where I can always calm down inside and have a clear 'yes' and can also take the current situation more calmly. The most important thing in my life at the moment is to come to peace with myself, and to get more in touch with my true self or my soul in order to find my way back to my original trust. I would like to hear you talk about original trust and how I can find it in the many everyday situations that keep knocking me out, in the moment when I realize that I'm tensing up again."

Thank you for your question. Thank you.

Yes, it is really special with this trust.

Trust means that I am open for something, or that I have a 'yes' for something, although I am not sure – otherwise, it wouldn't be trust. If I am sure about something, if I am certain about something, if I know something, then, trust is not required, trust is not possible. There's no space for trust.

But when I don't know; when I am uncertain; when I have no idea what's right and what's wrong; when I am scared, then there's space for trust – only then. Otherwise, trust is not possible. A person who knows everything can't trust. But a person who doesn't know, who is insecure, that person has the potential to trust.

But this is also a point where we tend to trick ourselves, to deceive ourselves. We want to be able to trust, we want to be able to feel that we are carried by life, but this is not really true, because in reality, we just don't want to feel insecure. We just don't want to feel not knowing. What we actually want is a feeling of certainty. We want a feeling of 'I know how it works'. In reality, we want control. We want the feeling, everything is okay, I know how it works. We want clarity.

But trust is something else. Trust is when I can say 'yes' to not knowing; when I can say 'yes' to having no control... when I know I can't have control; I know it. I tried, but I know: control doesn't work, it's an illusion. When I can say 'yes' to this – then there is the potential that life carries me.

We want to trust, we want to be able to feel that we are carried by life, but this is not really true, because in reality, we just don't want to feel insecure. In reality, we want control. We want clarity.

But trust is something else. Trust is when I can say 'yes' to having no control – then there is the potential that life carries me.

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Life is always ready to carry us. It's like God is waiting all around us all the time for the moment that we allow him, for the moment that we allow life to take over and to carry us.

The only requirement for this is that we lean back and let ourselves be carried. But usually, we don't want this. Usually, we want to do it ourselves. We don't like the feeling that I can't do it. We don't like the feeling that I have no control. And that's why we can't lean back. That's why we can't put our life into life's hand, into God's hand.

So, that's why it's such a tricky thing to trust. We want to trust, we want this liberation of not having to have control, we want this ease of being carried by life, and yet, we don't want to give up that which actually is burdening us: this need for control, this need for knowing, this need for certainty.

Life is always ready to carry us. The only requirement for this is that we lean back and let ourselves be carried.

But usually, we don't want this. We don't like the feeling that I can't do it. We don't like the feeling that I have no control.

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But life is helping you with this, and life brings one situation after the other where you can see: I don't have any control. I am powerless. I can't do it. I don't know what to do. Life brings you one situation after the other where you experience: "I don't know. There's no certainty. There's one problem after the other, and I don't know at all how to solve them."

We want this liberation of not having to have control, we want this ease of being carried by life, and yet, we don't want to give up that which actually is burdening us: this need for control, for knowing, for certainty.

But life is helping you with this and brings one situation after the other where you can see:

I am powerless.

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The source of trust

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So, life gives you the opportunity to trust. And now the question is, how do I find this trust? How does this work? Where does it come from?

Trust is something you cannot do. If you do it, it's not trust. Then, you are back into this illusion of: I know how it works. So, basically, there is only space for trust if you know that you don't know anything; if you know that you are completely helpless.

This is basically the opposite of feeling well.

So, it's a kind of a paradox. So, this trust cannot come from yourself. It doesn't come from you. It also doesn't come from experience in your outside world. In the outside world, in your life, you experience one thing after the other which shows you: you cannot trust life. There's one uncertainty after the other. There seemingly is one problem after the other. So, where does this trust come from? It doesn't come from yourself. You cannot do it.

Trust comes from somebody who is already living in this trust, from somebody who knows that he or she is carried by life; who experiences this; from somebody who lives in this utter not knowing, in this utter helplessness, in this complete lack of control... who lives in there and experiences in each and every moment this being carried: the okayness of life. Trust is something you live. You don't get it, you live it.

And when you get in touch with another human being who is there, who lives this trust, not as a mental illusion, not as a as something you visualize so to speak, but something which this person experiences, then you catch it. It's not by what the other person says, not by information, not by words. It is just contagious.

Trust comes from somebody who is already living in this trust, from somebody who knows that he or she is carried by life. And when you get in touch with another human being who is there, who lives this trust, then you catch it. It is contagious.

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Maybe this happens to you in this video. You hear me speak about things which sound completely crazy and where your mind says: "This is stupid. Life is a problem. What is this guy talking about?"

But you feel my trust – and you trust. Suddenly, you know: "Yes, that's the way. That's the only way." Suddenly, you know. And you don't even know why, and you don't understand yourself. That's how it works. This is how trust comes to you.

I got this trust from my spiritual Master, from Soham. When I met him 25 years ago, something like that, I didn't know what he was talking about. I didn't know where he would lead me to. I didn't know what all this was about. I suddenly had this 'yes'. I had completely trusted this man. There was just trust.

And that was the trust from him. I didn't know this at this time, but that was his trust, just jumping over to me, in an instant.

And now, these days, since 7 years, it is the trust of my Guru Swamiji. And there, it was the same. When I met Swamiji, I didn't meet him in person back then.

"Only through me will you come to the Lord"

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My Master, Soham, he told me about Swamiji for the first time. He had heard about him, so, he was just telling me about this Guru. And when I heard his name and when I heard Soham speak about Swamiji, in an instant, everything in me opened up, and there was complete trust, timeless, eternal trust.

That was the trust from this Guru, entering my life. That's where it comes from.

And this goes on and on. I just said that last weekend, I had the blessing of spending one day with Swamiji, and I can only say... It's impossible to describe what happens, but this trust multiplied. This trust, which was already complete before, now multiplied. I don't know how this is possible.

Now there's even more trust. There's more being carried. There's more letting go.

And this is the reason why somebody like Jesus says: "I am the way. Only through me can you come to the Father." This is something which has been misunderstood. Jesus doesn't say "only through me as a person, only through me as a human being, only through me, Jesus from Nazareth, you can come to God". He didn't say: "You have to believe in me, Jesus."

What Jesus is saying is: this opening in you, this trust which is required for you to open to something you don't know and you have no certainty about, this is only possible when it comes from me. I give you this trust. And then, everything happens for you by itself. Jesus doesn't do anything, but his trust is contagious. And when you get in touch with somebody like Jesus, suddenly, you trust – like a miracle.

What Jesus is saying is: this opening in you, this trust which is required for you to open to something you don't know and you have no certainty about, this is only possible when it comes from me. I give you this trust. And then, everything happens for you by itself.

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2000 years ago, this trust came through Jesus. Today, this trust comes to you from somebody who is alive today. That is how it always works.

When you get in touch with somebody like Jesus, suddenly, you trust – like a miracle.

2000 years ago, this trust came through Jesus. Today, this trust comes to you from somebody who is alive today. That is how it always works.

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But that's what Jesus said: only through another human who is already living in this trust, only through this you get it, and then you have it. It's like an automatic transmission.

And the only thing required on your part is that you are willing to acknowledge how it is for you; to acknowledge: I am helpless; I can't do it. Then, you are open for trust. Then, you are open for being carried. Otherwise, you say: "No, leave me alone. I do it myself. I want life to be my way." But when you are at the point where you realize: 'I am not in control.

Jesus said: only through another human who is already living in this trust, you get it. It's like an automatic transmission.

And the only thing required on your part is that you are willing to acknowledge: I am helpless; I can't do it. Then, you are open for trust. Then, you are open for being carried.

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Yes, Life, you do it', then, trust can enter your life.

When you are at the point where you realize:

'I am not in control. Yes, Life, you do it',

then, trust can enter your life.

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Two lives at the same time

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And you say that you meditate. I'm happy to hear this. When you do the Samarpan Meditation, you learn trust. These two things bring trust into your life. You catch it from somebody, and then you practice it. The Samarpan Meditation is such a simple thing, but during this meditation, it's like you practice letting go. You practice not controlling, not wanting, not knowing, and instead, just resting in your crown chakra, which is like the lap of God. It really is, by the way.

The Samarpan Meditation is such a simple thing, but during this meditation, it's like you practice letting go. You practice not controlling, not wanting, not knowing, and instead, just resting in your crown chakra, which is like the lap of God.

It really is, by the way.

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I don't want to go into detail about the meditation in this video. I have many videos where I do this.

But that's how you let it grow in you, more and more and more, every day.

And then it's like you live two lives. You live your earthly life as a human, but at the same time, you live like God, like a Soul, and you experience both at the same time.

And then it's like you live two lives. You live your earthly life as a human, but at the same time, you live like God, like a Soul, and you experience both at the same time.

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And it's not that the earthly life becomes different. This body will still die, life still brings all kinds of uncertainties, but you are rooted in your true being, in your Soul, in your godly life. And when you are rooted there, what happens in the other life has no importance, and everything becomes easy. And then you can trust, and you let go, and then this life develops in such a miraculous way... nobody believes it until they experience it by themselves.

The meaning of Life

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I received another email, which also fits the subject. It comes from a completely different direction, but, basically, it's about the same. And I would like to read this email now.

"I haven't been feeling well for a few weeks. I feel a lot of anger and rage inside me. I'm often sad and desperate, and I wonder about the meaning of life. I have been meditating every morning for 4 months. I think that my condition has to do with my sister's situation. My younger sister has 3 children and has been in the process of divorce for a few weeks. Her husband and his parents are full of anger and hate.

They are manipulating the grandchildren, portraying my sister in a bad light.

The children are still small and can't cope well with the conflict. They are confused, and they don't know how to behave. One son doesn't want to visit his grandparents and father because of this. He always feigns illness just to avoid having to go. In addition, my sister's daughter, who is 6 years old, has diabetes and is permanently connected to an insulin pump. Her sugar levels have to be checked and regulated. However, her grandparents and the father don't want to do any training for this.

So, every visit to the grandparents ends with health problems for the daughter. My sister is also being threatened by her husband. She shouldn't make too many demands in court, or he will destroy her. The whole situation is extremely stressful for everyone, for me too. I'm there for my sister, but only from a distance. We talk on the phone several times a week, and she cries to me. I support her as best as I can, but I realize how stressful the whole situation is for me too.

I'm angry and full of hate. I'm desperate and sad. I often ask myself what the point of it is. In your video, you talk about Jesus saying to God: 'Your will be done'. It is difficult for me to accept this situation. Watching everyone suffer and not being able to do anything and even accepting it? Finally, my question: what is the purpose of life? Why does God or the soul want to experience itself as a human being? For what reason?"

Thank you for your email. I'm so happy to hear from you.

You ask, why all this? Why do we do this? Why does God do this? Why does the soul do this?

It is like this... When there's only light, you cannot know anything about light, because there's nothing else.

But as soon as there's darkness, as soon as you experience darkness, then you know what light is. Without the darkness, you cannot experience the light. When there is only light, light doesn't know anything about itself.

And it's the same with us.

When there is only God, God cannot be perceived, God cannot see himself or herself, so we invented this amazing game.

We incarnate into an illusion, and we forget who we were. We forget who we still are.

And because of this, we suddenly become able to sense God. Suddenly, we can long for God. Suddenly, we can discover God because now, there's something else. Still, everything is God, but we don't experience it. We feel lost in a strange life.

And this allows us to experience ourselves. The darkness allows the light to see the light.

That's why we are here.

When there is only God, God cannot be perceived, so we invented this amazing game. We incarnate into an illusion, and we forget who we are.

And because of this, we suddenly become able to sense God. Suddenly, we can long for God. We feel lost in a strange life. And this allows us to experience ourselves. That's why we are here.

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Life is not the problem, but the help

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And that's why there is the pain. Only when you have the pain of this life, you want to find the truth: then you long for God, then you long for meaning. Your question: what's the meaning of all this – this is the longing for God, the longing for understanding. Why is this? Why am I here?

And life helps you with this.

Everything which you experience in your life, right now and always, is here to help you in this. What you experience is not a problem. What you experience is a help.

In the email before, there was the question: how do I find this trust? How does this work?

There are two things you can do for this. The one is: you accept what is here for you in this funny life – the desperation, the helplessness. You say you feel anger, you feel hate, but anger and hate are very shallow feelings. Underneath is the reason for the anger and the reason for the hate, and that is: helplessness, lack of control, fear.

And these feelings, which are produced by your outside life, when you say 'yes' to them, when you accept them, when you allow them to come very, very close, they will lead you inside. They will lead you into the direction of the truth.

That is the magic of this life. If we say 'yes' to the impossible situation we find ourselves in, and if we say 'yes' to the feelings it produces for us, to the state we are in, when we say 'yes' to this, when we completely accept this, it brings us back to ourselves.

And there, you can trust. When you accept your helplessness, when you accept your powerlessness, your scaredness, then you are open for trust, then you are open for God.

And through this, you experience who you truly are. It brings you out of this life into your true life. It brings you from the bodily life to the heavenly life.

That is the magic of this life. If we say 'yes' to the impossible situation we find ourselves in, it brings us back to ourselves. And there, you can trust.

When you accept your helplessness, then you are open for trust, then you are open for God. It brings you from the bodily life to the heavenly life.

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And the second thing you can do is that you meditate the Samarpan Meditation.

This helps you every morning to remember what this life is about: to let go and to come inside, and to rest inside. And by these two things, by accepting your life as it is, by accepting yourself as you are, and by meditating the Samarpan Meditation, everything else happens by itself.

You find back to where you came from. You find back to yourself.

It just takes time.

The price we have to pay

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But usually, people don't want this. This might sound funny for you, but when you are really honest, most people don't want this. Most people want to feel well. They want to trust, but they don't want to pay the price. They don't want to feel helpless. They don't want to feel powerless. They don't want to feel not knowing.

And there are countless offers out there these days which cater to these people.

If you want clarity, you will find a workshop where somebody says: "Come to me.

One conversation, one weekend, and you will have clarity about your life."

There are workshops where people say: "Manifest your life. Become the creator of your life."

That's what people love. These workshops are always full, but this leads to more ego. This leads to more suffering.

It feels good for a moment and terrible for a long time.

But the way back to our true nature, the way back to the inside, is through how it is for you, through all the things you don't want: through unclarity, through not knowing, through having no control, through desperation, through pain. When you say yes to this unconditionally, then you can open to that which is bigger than you. And then, trust comes, and then, God comes.

The way back to our true nature, the way back to the inside, is through how it is for you, through all the things you don't want: through unclarity, through not knowing, through having no control, through desperation, through pain.

When you say yes to this unconditionally, then, trust comes, and then, God comes.

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God is not some other person. That what we humans call God is that what we then experience inside, and at some point, you realize: Ah, that is my original nature. That is where I came from.

That is me.

God is not some other person. That what we humans call God is that what we then experience inside, and at some point, you realize:

Ah, that is my original nature. That is where I came from. That is me.

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The blessings of accepting

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So, all these impossible things in life which you experience, which bring you to the point where you realize, undeniably: I have no control. I'm desperate. I don't know what to do... That's the blessing – if you can say yes to it.

All these impossible things in life which you experience, which bring you to the point where you realize, undeniably: I have no control. I'm desperate. I don't know what to do...

That's the blessing – if you can say yes to it.

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I experienced exactly the same situation like you are in right now. I experienced exactly the same thing myself. A person who is very, very close to me went through the same thing with her children, with her parents in law, and the husband.

So, I know what you are experiencing right now. I know the situation, and I know the utter helplessness it puts you through because you have no control. You cannot change these other people. They are the way they are, and you have no idea how all this could ever work out to something good. And I experienced it here.

And this person I accompanied with through this, she did exactly what I am talking about here in this video.

She accepted these feelings she was confronted with. Basically, it confronted her with her biggest nightmare, these feelings which are triggered by something like this. But she learned to say 'yes' to it slowly, slowly, and she meditated every day.

She paid the price. She said 'yes'. She made friends with the feelings.

And this absolutely impossible situation completely changed in the course of a few years. The grandparents are still the same way, they have not changed, but the entire situation is completely diffused. It's no problem anymore. And now she can see what an amazing blessing this was. She grew so much. She lives in such a trust now, a trust she didn't know before. She lives so close to her soul now, so much more than before.

The children became so strong and so trusting and so beautiful, but it all happens by itself. All this didn't happen because suddenly she knew what to do and she took charge and she did the right thing.... no. Quite the opposite. The more she accepted her helplessness and her powerlessness, the more she allowed herself to be carried inside, the more on the outside life the help came in that took care of everything.

By some magic, she met a lawyer who helped her with the legal things in a way which was perfect for her in her inability, in the way she was. And with the children and the emotional things, other experts showed up who helped with this. We don't have to do it ourselves. When we start accepting life and allow to be carried, life takes over. And then, the help comes.

When we start accepting life and allow to be carried, life takes over.

And then, the help comes.

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So, you say that you help your sister as well as you can, and this is beautiful. What will help your sister the most is when you find a way to deal with this for yourself. You say you are stressed by this. Of course. This is really heavy stuff, and it triggers your feelings. It reminds you of the fears and the helplessness you feel about your own life.

And the more you are able to say yes to your own feelings, the more you are able to let go, the more space you can make inside of yourself for trust, the more you meditate... that is something your sister will catch. I described in the beginning of this video where this trust comes from. Your sister is in an impossible situation, but when you learn in your life to trust, this will flip over to your sister. You cannot tell her anything which will console her. You cannot tell her how to solve the problems.

You don't know either, but you know: everything is fine. And you can tell her: "Hey, I know it is all terrible, but I know everything will be fine. I just know it." And she can sense your certainty. She can sense your inner energy, and that is what will help her. She might still say: "Oh, this is crazy. This is stupid. My life is full of problems. What are you saying?" It doesn't matter. That is the one thing which is really helpful. So, do your homework. Take care of yourself. And that is something which will help your sister more than anything else.

And trust that everything will be taken care of. And that's the truth. You will see.

Life, when you experience something so traumatic like what you are experiencing right now, gives you an opportunity. You can do one of two different things now. The one is: you start fighting. You go into this old, familiar role of "I must solve this problem. I must do it. This is terrible." That's the one option you have.

But life gives you also another option. It gives you the option to recognize: "Oh, I can't do anything. This is bigger than me." In reality, everything is bigger than you, but this is proof for you: "Here I am helpless." So, life gives you the opportunity to acknowledge this, and then, everything becomes easy.

If you allow your helplessness, if you allow your inability, your fear, then it's possible that you are carried. Then it's possible that you find this trust.

And then you live in this. The insecurity of this life is still there, but you live somewhere else, and you experience both at the same time. That's why you are here: for this magic to happen.

If you allow your helplessness, if you allow your inability, your fear, then it's possible that you are carried. Then it's possible that you find this trust.

And then you live in this. The insecurity of this life is still there, but you live somewhere else, and you experience both at the same time. That's why you are here: for this magic to happen.

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Thank you for your question. Thank you that you are here.

I love you.