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Can a Man be happy ?

Part 1 of 2: why men always want.

Male sexuality is an irritating topic, not only for women, but also for many men. They just never have enough, and no man is free of it. But it exists: salvation from the "curse of manhood".

I recommend to watch also the second part to this video.

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Complete text for reading along:

Good morning.

Today I would like to talk about a subject which is very close to me. I want to talk about men, and, more specifically, I want to talk about how it is for men with sexuality. When I was young, when I was a teenager in puberty, when the first sexual feelings came to me and I started to experience myself as a sexual being for the very first time in my life, it was strange. It was fascinating on the one hand and delicious, but the whole subject, these energies, also had something for me which... it was almost like I didn't want to look at it closely. As if I was scared of it. I don't really know how to describe it in in the right words.

Sexuality is something which comes to us when we reach a certain age, automatically, we don't do anything for it. It happens gradually, slowly, it enters our life and it just happens without us making ourselves familiar with it, really exploring it, what it really is and how it is. I didn't do this back then. It happened that I became more and more a sexual being rather than a child like I was before. And somehow, I can say I somehow coped with it, somehow I found a way to deal with it without looking at it too closely. I didn't feel a freedom and the courage to explore and to play with it, to find out how it is, what I like, how I like it, what's possible... how different girls are… nothing like this happened to me when I was a teenager. I didn't think about it. It was just unthinkable, impossible.

What I did at that time was... I lived these energies not in a sexual way but... I just... whenever I felt attracted to a girl, I fell in love with her. I focused on the story, on the feelings but not on the sexual side of things. And I was very late in discovering all this, I was very shy, almost got scared of this whole subject. And also later, the way I experienced sex with a girl or woman was always and only in a relationship, or later in a marriage. I didn't play. I didn't just try to play with a girl and the whole subject to just find out without any expectations or plans.

I had somewhere in my psyche, without knowing it of course... I had this idea: if I want to play with a girl sexually, whatever it looks like, then I must love her, then I must be together with her. I didn't know about this belief, but that's how I acted. And because it was like this for me, I never played, I never explored. I just... it's like sexuality happened to me without me being familiar with it or having any idea about what actually is happening to me. And it stayed like this for a long time in my life.

And it was not that I grew up in a family where sexuality was something forbidden or morally judged. I grew up in a very liberal household, and my parents would tell us about sexuality, and it wasn't a forbidden subject. But at that time, you know... my parents... they weren't really at ease and in peace with the subject themselves either. For my parents... I'm born in 1963. At that time, sexuality was not something people talked about openly and discussed and shared. It was something hidden and my parents weren't at peace with this. They weren't relaxed with the issue, and this influenced, of course, my attitude towards it. Without words, without knowing about it.

These things are being transferred automatically from the parents to the children. These attitudes. And when I was a teenager, how it was between men and women was... It was in a way we can hardly imagine today although it's not that long ago. That was a time where it was still normal and common that it was the duty of the woman, the wife, to be available for the man when the man wanted to have sex. It was normal that the woman should agree, whether she likes it or not. Unthinkable today.

It was totally normal at that time that there was some antagonism, some hostility between men and women because of this. They didn't meet on the same level, eye to eye. There was no harmony and peace between women and men. It was either some very strong romantic fantasy or a fight, and it all revolved around sexuality and the hostility and the bad things happening in that area, totally commonly, you know, it was normal like this.

So, I found out later, but it influenced me at that young age that my mother did not like sex with my father. I don't know whether she had liked it when it would have happened on a voluntary basis, in freedom. But that freedom didn't exist at that time, so for my mother, sex was something terrible, and for my mother and I guess for many many women at that time, men were something terrible. For my mother, my father was plainly wrong, A wrong being. Of course it was not the fault of my father that he was like this. He wasn't a bad man, he was just a product of his time, a product of how society was at that time; the product of how his parents had been. He didn't know anything about it. These things happen automatically.

But I grew up in this energy, with this mother, and I got this attitude, without knowing anything about it, that sex is something not nice, something bad, and I inherited this attitude that men are bad, men are wrong, and that I should be better. I, her son, I should be better. And again, these are things I didn't know about it, and it wasn't that it was spoken about. My mother didn't know about these things, they happen deep in the psyche and they are being transferred without words. And that's why I couldn't deal with sexuality when I was young in an easy way, in a playful way. That was not possible. It was like a minefield. I was always scared to do something wrong and I tried to do it right. And doing it right for me meant at that time: loving the woman.

And then, if sex happens, fine, if not also fine. That wasn't a bad start per se, because I think men and women have to meet in freedom and in a gentle and loving way no matter what happens. I didn't have the freedom to explore and to know myself and to find out what sexuality means to me. So, I basically developed into that image which my mother transferred to me: a good man which had nothing to do with me. And when I was about 25 years old I guess, I began to discover that there's something funny in me. It started that I noticed at that age, that I don't like men; that I noticed that basically all the men I knew in my life I find wrong, I find stupid, mean; that that was my basic attitude towards men.

And when I was about that age, I began to notice this, and then, a little bit later, I noticed something else: I noticed, hey, I'm a man. If I have this basic attitude towards all men, what does this mean about my attitude towards myself, about my own self-image, me being a man. This was a very interesting time. I discovered that I don't know myself. I don't know how I really am as a man. I discovered that I know how I think I should be, but I didn't know anything about how I am. But I didn't have the freedom, the courage, the strength, to really change this. But that's where the first seeds were sown inside of me: curiosity.

So, I lived my life being a good man, not knowing himself, not knowing sexuality. I mean, I was married a few times, I had children, I had sex of course, but it all happened in an unconscious, more or less automatic way. And this only changed 23 years ago when I met someone, my spiritual master. Only with him, only through him I began to look at myself. This was the time in my life when I began to find out who, how I am as a man, as a human being. Soham taught me not to live in ideas and in thoughts, in what I think is right or wrong and should be or shouldn't be, but to be in the moment and to meet the moment, the world and myself the way it really is.

And so, a long exploration began, where I began to slowly, slowly, discover how I am as a human being and also as a man. But it took many more years before I was courageous enough and mature enough to begin to explore this area of my life, this area of my being, being a man, being a sexual being, being a sexual animal. Basically, us humans, we are animals, as far as this body is concerned. We don't really like this aspect of us. We think we are very civilized and very proper and controlled, but this is not true at all.

And it was about 10 years later, it took 10 years for me being with my master, slowly developing a fundament inside of me, slowly becoming myself so to speak. And then, slowly, slowly, I was mature enough. And then, this is now about 13 years ago I guess, that's when a time began where my sexuality came to me in a new way. I remember very well how it started. At that time, 13 years ago, I was in a relationship. I was with a woman since many years, a woman who also was in the crew with Soham also, working and traveling and living with Soham just like I did, and I fell in love with another woman. For the first time in my life. It never had happened to me before. I was never interested in other women before. Maybe a little bit, but I never allowed myself to feel anything like this.

I never had affairs, I never was unfaithful with one exception in my relationship which ended just before I came to Soham: that was the beginning of the end of my old life. But I can't even say that I had an affair. It.. There was an incident happening to me and I don't even know why. It is like a sign of  animal nature, this part of us we don't really like and don't really know. I didn't want to do this, I didn't want to have an affair or to be unfaithful. I just was not knowledgeable about how it is for me as a man. I had no clue. I didn't even know what I want.

This whole area of sexuality was still in the fog at that time. But then, many years later, when, as I said, about 13 years ago, for the first time I fell in love with another woman although I was in a relationship. And this was new to me. I felt totally wrong, and at the same time I couldn't ignore it. I was feeling the energy, the strong energy, I felt the feelings for the very first time in a much more conscious way. With much more consciousness I began to experience this: how it is to be attracted to a woman. How it is to meet a woman and have sex with her. I never explored in a conscious way before.

And I felt totally wrong. I thought, this is wrong, I'm in a relationship, I shouldn't do this. And I couldn't understand why I felt this attraction although I am in a relationship and I should be satisfied and happy and fulfilled. And yet there was this openness for another woman. There was this lust for another woman. And for the very first time in my life, I allowed myself to feel like this. I allowed myself to be like this and to experience it. I still felt wrong. I still thought: I shouldn't be like this. But at least I looked at it. At least I experienced it very very closely. I looked very closely.

And then, this was just the beginning. What started were some years where I had several experiences like this with different women, each woman totally different, each woman absolutely beautiful in her own way. Every experience I had was totally beautiful and unique and interesting in its own way. And I began for the very first time to discover how it really feels to be attracted, to be in love, to have sex and what it does with me, how it actually is. And this was such a fruitful time in my life, because I began to discover a few things about me, about sexuality, about this strange game between men and women. I discovered a few things which changed my life completely. And I want to talk about these things in this video, these things I discovered.

The first thing I discovered was that I felt attracted to more than one woman. This... maybe you laugh now if you're a man, maybe you say: everybody knows this, that this happens to men. But for me, this was new, of course I... in a hidden way I always felt like this before too, but I didn't allow myself to notice it. I didn't allow myself to, in a very direct and non-judgmental way to just experience: oh interesting, I feel attracted to this woman and to this woman and to this, you know. It's one thing to know somewhere in the back: yes, it is like this for a man but I'm different, I don't need this, so I shouldn't be like this. But then to really begin to experience and acknowledge: oh my God, it is like this for me.

There you are, in a relationship, you love your girlfriend, nothing wrong, and here I am, feeling attracted to this woman as well. I don't want to change anything but there's this attraction, there's this curiosity, there's this openness. And then, when I allow myself to feel like this, discovering: oops, there's another woman, I feel an openness towards this woman too. So, I discovered that I feel like this and I was confused. I didn't know what this is good for, I didn't know why I felt like this. There was nothing wrong with my girlfriend, there was nothing wrong with the relationship, yet I felt like this. I didn't understand.

And of course what didn't help is that the women didn't like it either of course. We grow up with this belief that if I as a man, if I'm mature enough and if I have it together, if I am good, then it's different for me. But for me it was like this, that's what I discovered at that time. And of course I enjoyed it, I explored it, I allowed myself to be like this and I allowed myself to experience it, to follow the energies, to experience how it is for me. And at the same time, it was that I felt wrong all the time. I didn't want to hurt anybody. I didn't want to hurt my girlfriend. I didn't want to hurt or disappoint the other woman or the other women. I loved each and every one of them, totally. All I wanted was that I am happy and that she is happy and that all of them are just happy. But this was not in my power.

So, it was a time of confusion. I couldn't, I didn't understand why... If I am like this, either I'm totally fucked up, something is really wrong with me, or nature made a mistake that... you know, nature, God made me like this, and I didn't understand why. Why is it like this. Everybody says it should be different, but why is it like this. I began to experience and to explore that it is like, this but I didn't understand why. And I felt wrong. And although I had learned in the 10 years before that with my spiritual Master, with Soham, I had learned to be happy, I had learned to be rooted in myself, to live in the moment, to be happy, to not want anything, to just be happy.

And yet, these forces of nature, these archaic forces between men and women, they were there with all of their power. And then it took a few years until I discovered something else in this exploration. And what I discovered was a very surprising fact. What I discovered is that... and it took a while until I discovered it, because when you begin to explore sexuality, when you begin to allow yourself to experiences this, it is all very strong. It's very amazing energies, and all these stories in your head, all these love stories, and you're totally confused.

But after a few years, I became more quiet with it and with myself. I was better in accepting that it is like this for me at the moment, and I began to be more quiet with it and to be more capable of really experiencing it how it really is for me: a sexual meeting with a woman, sex, orgasm. How it really feels before, during, after... how it really is for me. And what I discovered is something totally amazing. I discovered: I don't get satisfaction through sex.

And this was really amazing for me, because when I experienced sex with a woman, it was just lovely. It was beautiful. I was so lucky during this entire time. Every woman I was allowed to meet, every woman I was allowed to come close to, I just loved her, they were so beautiful, such wonderful human beings, and the sexual experiences I had at that time were just beautiful. There was nothing wrong with it. There was nothing missing. And yet, I began to notice: wow, I had a meeting with a woman, I had sex with a woman, totally beautiful, wonderful orgasm, everything felt just right and wonderful. And then, shortly afterwards, a few hours maybe afterwards, or maybe a day or two later, there was again this feeling of openness to the next woman or openness to do it again.

There was no satisfaction. There was not this feeling: ah, now I'm satisfied, now I'm quiet. No. I had the most beautiful experience I could imagine, but the same thing, the same openness, the same attraction to the same thing happened again, just a few hours sometimes later, sometimes a few days later, the whole game started over again and I began to notice what was fueling this and it was that I didn't feel satisfied.

I don't know how many men are capable of admitting to themselves that, in fact, it is like this for them, because the feelings in the moment are very strong. And the thoughts we have about it, the fantasies, are very strong, so it's not easy to look at it how it actually is. But at that time, after my master had prepared me for so many years to be in the moment and to experience quietly how it really is, without our fantasies and our attitudes and our beliefs, I noticed: you know, I had this beautiful encounter and a few hours later was again just feeling: well, this was lovely, but it didn't give me anything, I'm as hungry, I'm as open, I'm as searching as I was before. How is this possible?

And it was clear that it's not the fault of the women, that they were just great, they were just lovely. And at that time, I also knew that it's not my fault either. I didn't believe this feeling of being wrong anymore. But I didn't understand what was going on. And it took a while and then I realized what it is what is at play here. It took me a few years. What I discovered is that what I experienced is how nature, animal nature, set up this game between men and women. Nature knows two very very strong forces, the one is the force of survival, and the second strongest force, or maybe even equally strong, is the force of reproduction, the power to make sure that we continue to exist, that children are being produced. And this power is incredibly strong.

And the way... I began to look through the plan of nature, so to speak. And it is like this: I mean, there's the woman, the female animal, and in case of us humans, the woman. The female body is able to get pregnant once in a while, once a month for humans. The woman is interested sometimes in sex, it's controlled by this ability of the female body to become pregnant. And, you know, as a word of caution: this... I simplify right now, you know. I tell you what I discovered which helped me to understand myself and what I experience in sexuality, and what I see happening to everybody around me too.

I don't want to reduce men and women and our human nature to this very specific area I'm talking about right now. But I find it helpful to understand a few facts about it. So, forgive me when I simplify for a moment. I just try to understand what is going on here. So, nature made it so the female body is able to conceive and to become pregnant, to produce children, and this only happens once in a while, this is the physical nature of the female body so this miracle of reproduction can actually happen.

So, for the female body, it's natural that it's ready only once in a while. And when the female body is ready, it's the task of the woman, and the right of the woman, the power of the woman, to decide when something happens, and how it happens, and with whom. It's the woman, it's the female animal who decides this. And the body of the female part of nature is ready only once in a while. And the male bodies on the other hand, because the female body is only ready once in a great while, it's good for the reproduction process, it's good for nature when the male body, and the men, are ready all the time.

When the female animal is ready for reproduction, for sex, it chooses a man, and that man has to be ready. If the male animal is only ready once in a while too, then it gets very difficult for reproduction to happen. And that's why nature arranged it differently. The way nature arranged this amazing game is: the female body is ready once in a while, this is the perfect way to make pregnancy and reproduction possible. And nature made sure that on the other hand, the male animals, the male playmates in this game, they are ready when they're being called, all the time.

So, that's why nature made sure that you as a man, if you are a man who is listening right now, that basically you are ready all the time to have sex and you're ready all the time to have sex with whatever woman. This sounds very wrong and strange maybe for your ears, but this is the basic, the very basic wiring nature has put into us. Of course, us human beings have many many many layers of energies and we are not only this, but this is there, this is the basic arrangement nature made for us animals. And when you look at it with the eyes of nature, it's perfect. It's a perfect arrangement to ensure that a race, that an animal kind is surviving and prospering and reproducing.

And when I began to understand this simple basic arrangement of nature, for the first time in me something relaxed. It's not what... you know, what happened then to me was not like that I thought: oh, this is great, nature made me this way, so now I can be like this and do nothing else but have sex with whoever I want. This is not what happened. What happened was peace with myself. It's like: okay, there's nothing wrong with me; what I experience, what I find strange and wrong as a man, as a human, is in fact an arrangement of nature for the benefit of nature. This.

It helped me understand why I was never satisfied, that I was never... you know, I don't know how you feel as a man, if you're a man who listens, but I always thought: okay, I'm together for this beautiful lady, we have this wonderful relationship, I should be happy and satisfied. And of course, to a great extent we are. I don't want to reduce... what I'm talking about... I don't want to reduce a relationship and our entire life to just this one subject I'm talking about. But I want to understand this one subject in my life because it was so dominant and so strong.

And this helped me understand why I felt like this, where it came from. It made for peace in me. I understood: okay, there's nothing wrong with my girlfriend, there's nothing wrong with our relationship and there's nothing wrong with me, there's nothing missing. That I occasionally have these feelings or the feeling of openness doesn't mean that there's something missing, that I should have a better relationship or a different woman, because it will be the same with that with another woman. But it also made something else clear to me. It also made clear to me that I will not find satisfaction with this woman over there either.

It's not that I understood it intellectually. I experienced it over and over again. I followed the attraction, I had sex, and I was still not satisfied. And... I don't know, I think one has to experience it to really know it. I don't know whether hearing it is enough, I don't know. It wasn't enough for me, and nobody ever told me anyway. Maybe it helps you to hear this. But discovering that I do not find satisfaction in the sexual melting, no matter how beautiful it is, that was the beginning of liberation for me from this whole subject.

Because for us man it is like this: you feel attracted to a woman, and it feels as if there's a promise woven into this attraction, this promise of: oh, there you find it, there you find happiness, there you find satisfaction. This is how it feels. That's why you follow this attraction. This is the carrot in front of your nose, like you are a rabbit. You know, at that time, I felt almost like remote controlled. Nature puts this woman in front of me and I run after it as if I'm a robot or a rabbit. It felt really strange. I also felt and discovered that when a woman began to be interested in me, then I began to feel open and attracted to her, you know, as if the woman chooses the man and then the man reacts and can't help it but be interested in this woman.

This sounds not nice for a man if you want to be in control and you want to decide for yourself who you are attracted to and I found out that it is not like this. And I really felt remote controlled. I felt like I'm just part of a play without having a say in the play. It didn't feel so nice.

So, there is... what nature uses to remote control us men is this attraction to a woman and this... and we perceive this promise of happiness, this promise of satisfaction woven into this attraction, and we believe: if I follow this, if I go there, if I melt with this woman, she's the right one, then I will feel satisfied, then I will arrive. This is how it feels, right? And then you do it, you experience it, and no matter how beautiful it is, very soon you find out: this promise has not been fulfilled, I'm not satisfied, I'm not happy, I didn't arrive. The game starts over again tomorrow. And it feels like a bad joke.

But I repeat: for nature this is perfect. This is the perfect arrangement nature created to keep mankind alive, and as you can see, it works very well, very very well. And the key to this whole game, and that's what I discovered at that time, is this dissatisfaction you can discover when you be really quiet, when you look very closely. Most men never discover this because most men, when they meet a woman, they are unable to experience really nakedly how they really feel. You are so in love, you're so in a story...

Soham always said: "you are in a story with the woman", and this means: you're in thoughts, you think about how it is, you think about how it will be, you think about this is the right one, all the others they were not right, but this is the right one. You are in thoughts, in dreams, in a fantasy. This is our normal state when we men meet a woman. We are not quiet and sober and calm and just experience how it is. But when you do this, you will discover what I'm talking about. You will discover: yes, I love her, oh she's wonderful, she's the best, the most beautiful and yet, it doesn't give me satisfaction. You go with your beloved to the restaurant and you see another beautiful lady and if you're really honest you feel: it could happen with her too. This not arriving, this never reaching this point of: okay, now I got everything I wanted, now I'm quiet and satisfied; to discover that you never reach this point is so valuable.

And that's what I discovered about ten, eight years ago, about that time. And after I discovered this, I began to notice it everywhere. When I met a woman, again and again I experienced the same thing: beautiful encounter, nothing wrong, and yet: no satisfaction, not really, only for a brief moment, for a few hours maybe, a few days and then again: no satisfaction. And I told you that I had learned to really live out of myself, to live in the moment and to be happy, from my master, from Soham. I didn't know what else to ask for, I had no dreams, I didn't have anything I longed for, no bucket list, no open wishes, and at that time, I also knew: there's nothing to be found in sexuality either, and yet, there was this dissatisfaction, this inability to reach true satisfaction in life. And this is something I did not learn with Soham at that time. And I didn't search for this either, because I didn't know that it is possible. I did not know that it is possible to reach this actually, as a human being and as a man especially.

And then this changed. It really changed when Swamiji came into my life. Swamiji is this Indian guru I talk about in many many of my videos, and he came into my life six and a half years ago. And with him, this changed. With him... he showed me the source of true satisfaction, of a satisfaction which lasts. And it's very very interesting... This Indian guru, he confirmed what I had discovered back then at that time, at this time which I call my second puberty, you know. I shared with you about these years... these few years in my life when I started to really explore sexuality and to find out how actually is it for me. And in the beginning of the video, I told you that when my real puberty was happening, when I was 14, 15, 16, I didn't have the freedom and the courage and maturity to explore this whole subject. I did never play with sexuality and with the girls. But then, many many years later, 10 years ago now, or 13, that's when I had my puberty, that's when I explored and discovered and played with myself and this energy.

And Swamiji explained and confirmed to me what I had discovered in the second puberty of my life. He said: it's possible for the woman to experience deep satisfaction in the meeting with a man, but it is not possible for the man. The man does not reach satisfaction. I was totally surprised to hear this from somebody like him. But he confirmed it. And Swamiji speaks a lot about all the gurus he met in his life, he's an amazing guru with an amazing biography, and these gurus say the same thing. They describe how it is for men, no matter how old the man is, they can be 60, 70, 80, 90 and 100 years old: this dissatisfaction in the sexual area, this urge, this running after a woman never stops for the man until the man finds that place where you really find satisfaction. Only then, this gets defused, this bomb, this mine, this mine field gets defused.

And Swamiji not only confirmed my discovery, he also showed me satisfaction. I want to repeat: this, the fact that you as a man never reach lasting satisfaction, is on purpose by nature. Nature constructed us men in a way so we are not satisfied, because otherwise, the game doesn't continue. If we would reach satisfaction as the woman does, the game would stop. It's not in the interest of nature that you are satisfied. It's... it feels like a bad joke, when you are a man. It's like: this is not fair. It really is not fair. That's why I call it the curse of manhood. It's not fair, but it is like this. It's in the interest of nature that you are not satisfied as a man.

But the good news is: you can become absolutely, totally satisfied and happy anyway. And the key to this is what Swamiji brings into our lives. Basically, Swamiji does two things: on the one hand, he shows you who you really are. He shows you that you are not this body you think you are. You think you are this body, you think you're a man, two legs, two arms, one head, one penis, your thoughts, your feelings, your hormones, your dreams and your hopes and your worries. This is you, that's what you believe and this is how it feels. This is how we experience life every day. This is me, and there's nothing else.

Swamiji says, and when you are in contact with him, you discover yourself inside of you: this is not me. Swamiji says: you are not this body, you are a soul. The soul is that what you really are. It's not that the body also has a soul. No, the soul, that what you really are, has nothing to do with the body. It's more like: there's the soul, and for a short time, the soul acquires a body and lives in a body to experience certain things and to develop. That's why the soul comes into these beautiful bodies. But the soul is not the body.

You are not the body, you are a soul, and Jesus talks about the same thing. Jesus calls it the Holy Spirit. You are Holy Spirit in your true essence, you're not this body. You live in this body, but you are not this body. He said: you are the son of God and the son of Man. You are Holy Spirit living in this earthly body. And through Swamiji, he shows you what or who you really are. And the amazing thing is that when you begin to discover this slowly slowly, and the way Swamiji helps us to discover this is the meditation he teaches us, the Samarpan Meditation... when... the more you discover your true nature, the more you experience it inside of you, you begin to discover: oh wow, from there comes something to me,  is my true nature, this is where I'm being nourished from, this is the true source of satisfaction. That's where it's coming from.

And the more you become rooted in this true identity of yours, the more you discover: you are getting satisfied. But not out of this world, not from women, not from food, not from anything which has to do with this body, but from something you find inside of yourself, something which comes from your true nature, from your true identity, and that changes everything. Swamiji uses the Samarpan Meditation. This is the tool for you, a totally simple, easy tool to learn... to learn to experience this.

It's not an intellectual exercise. It's something which you slowly slowly discover and experience more and more, and it is not that that the body doesn't feel sexual anymore after that. The body feels the way it always felt. All these things created by nature are still there. This body still feels sexual and can still feel attracted to whatever kind of woman is around. But: when the key is missing, when the dissatisfaction is not there anymore, it has no power.

Then, when you are a satisfied man, you notice these forces in the body: ah, interesting, there's this openness, there's this promise of satisfaction, this promise of happiness. But since you're already happy, you feel no urge to get disturbed by that. It's really like a complete turnaround in your life. It changes the entire game. But you cannot fake it. You cannot talk yourself into being satisfied, it doesn't work. You have to discover where satisfaction really comes from, and the key is the satisfaction, and the dissatisfaction before, that's the key. And when you hear this, maybe you discover what really was remote controlling and driving you throughout your entire life. This promise of satisfaction, this promise of happiness, and then again: disappointment.

There's so much hostility between men and women because of this; because this is not being understood. The man feels as if the woman promises happiness to him and then she doesn't deliver. Of course it's not... the woman doesn't promise anything to the man, it's nature playing this trick. But this is how it feels to many men, and many men feel totally at the mercy of these powers and they don't like it, and many women got punished for this.

There are stories of kings, powerful men, but there's one woman and the king feels like an idiot, he feels attracted to this woman, he can't help it but follow this, getting into trouble. And for this, he punishes the woman later. Many women got burned or killed because of this, because the man feels controlled by this power of nature. For the man it feels like as if the woman does something. In the Middle Ages, the men thought the women bewitched them, because they couldn't help but follow this power. They didn't know that it's just nature, just simple genius perfect nature. They were controlled by their dissatisfaction, and of course they didn't know anything about where they find true satisfaction. And that's why the women had to suffer. The women got punished. The women got the revenge.

And this entire game between men and women changes when you, as a man, discover who you really are. Because then you discover the source of true, lasting satisfaction, true happiness, that what I call in my videos Heaven; that what always is; that what really satisfies; that state, that place where you arrive forever; where there's no need to start running after something again.

I don't want to talk in detail about the Samarpan Meditation in this video. This video is about men, about being a man. But I make many videos about this, and you find information about this on my website if you're interested.

And if you listen to this as a woman, which would make me very happy by the way... Maybe what you heard in this video is disturbing for you, or you don't like it, but maybe it's also helpful for you. Maybe it's helpful to understand that these men... they don't really have a choice. Maybe it's helpful for you to understand what's really driving these men, what they are after, and why they are getting so upset with you, why they always want something from you although you don't want. It's a mean game of nature, but all this changes when the man finds his own inner satisfaction. And it's available for everybody.

And if you want to have such a man, it's very simple. It's very simple. You as a woman, you find out who you really are, just ask Swamiji, just do the meditation, then you'll find the same source of permanent satisfaction inside of you. And when you are satisfied, you will attract a satisfied man, and then everything is so easy, everything is so easy. But this is a subject for another video: relationship.

What I want to say at the end is: it has never been easier to discover this. The miracle of the times we are living in... It's easy to overlook. We are living in miraculous times. The fact that you are able to hear what I'm saying, the fact that I can make these videos, the fact that I as a normal human being, living in society, having a normal job, that I can discover this and talk about this, is amazing.

It used to be that if a human being is interested in this, if a human being reached this point where he or she discovered: there is no satisfaction in this human life, where is it? Everybody knows: it's somewhere. We look for satisfaction and happiness all our lives. We know it's somewhere but we don't know where. And it used to be that you had to go away from society, into a cave in the Himalayas, for 30, 40, 50, or 80 years and then slowly slowly, you would discover this.

And the blessings of the times we are living in is that we begin to discover this now here, in in our mundane life. It's coming to you. You don't have to go away, you don't have to give up your life. You don't have to be a hero, you don't have to be this exceptional person leaving everything behind, living in a cave, no... It's coming to you, just like this. We live in such blessed times.

And one last remark. I talked way too long already... I'm curious. If you're a man listening to this, and you feel touched by this, and maybe you have questions, I would love to hear from you. I would love to know how it is for you.

If you're a woman and you have questions, I would also love to hear from you and love to hear your questions. But especially from the men... you know: I know two men in my life who know about these things, and who really got to the bottom of this. I want to know whether there are more men like this out there, and I want to know what the men are interested in.

I have this idea in the back of my head that maybe, one day, I do a Men's Workshop where men can meet men and share about this experience, and discover satisfaction. It is my experience that when you are a man, you're very alone with this. It's very... you can't talk about these things with anybody. Not with the women, but also not with a man. And I want to change this loneliness, this loneliness of the men with this issue. I want to make myself available for it. So, if you're interested in anything like this, write to me. Maybe such a workshop will happen one day, who knows.

Thank you for listening, thank you so much.

I love you.

Thank you.