New Year Intensive: Satsang of December 31, 2023
German with English subtitles.
"Our feelings want attention. Give them this stillness."
Satsang followed by meditation. German with English subtitles.
Topics: True fulfillment is supposedly within, but there is nothing there either. Getting the guru's attention. Letting go of old things. Making decisions. Liberation without a living guru? Fighting for contact with your own child? When emotions prevent going deeper and peace.
This video has carefully edited German and English subtitles. See also Tutorial: Subtitle Translation.
This Online Satsang was made possible by Jetzt-TV (Here-Now TV). Thank you so much!
This Online Satsang was made possible by Here-Now TV. During Satsang, I answer questions from participants.
Do you also have questions? I look forward to your email or letter! See Contact Information.
Find all Online Satsangs here, all Video Satsangs here, all interviews here.
Please share this video with one click:
About this Video:
At the turn of the year, I was able to experience two special online Satsangs as part of the New Year's Intensive, and this was the first of the two. What touches me again this time is the wide range and deep humanity of all the questions, and there is nothing "unspiritual" or uncool about them, on the contrary: it is precisely the things we struggle with that lead us on the path to ourselves, and that is why every question is so welcome and so touching for me. And so much of what I hear I have also experienced myself or witnessed from close by.
We humans are basically all going through the same thing, we are all on the same path, even if everyone feels lonely and alone and believes that no one else knows this. That is one of the gifts of Satsang. Every time you realize anew: "Wow, this person is experiencing the same!" And the solution to all these difficulties and dramas is always the same, even though it is hard to believe at first. But then you experience it yourself more and more, and life becomes easy and beautiful all by itself.
Thank you for Satsang, thank you for this year.
Thank you that you are here!
Full translated transcript for reading along
Welcome to the Intensive over New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. Nice to have you here.
In this online Satsang you have the opportunity to ask questions if you wish. You can either do this in writing in the YouTube chat, or, if you participate via Zoom, you can do so in the Zoom chat. But you can also ask your question directly, verbally. If you want to do that, you can simply make a hand signal in Zoom and then Simone will make sure that you can speak.
And we now have about an hour and a half, and then, shortly before half past three, I'll say a few more things about Samarpan Meditation, how it works: just a few short tips, it's very simple and uncomplicated. And then there's the possibility, if you would like, to join me and all of us for half an hour from half past three to four. Yes, and we'll do the same thing again tomorrow, again at two pm. Yes, that's it for the preamble.
Simone, are there any questions from those who are already here?
Simone: There is a comment from Snow White. She would like to thank you for this wonderful offer. There are no other questions in the chat.
Mikael: Nice to have you here. I'm happy to see you everyone. Yes, I also have a few questions in writing by e-mail, and then I'll see if I can just read out one of them to start with.
"Dear Mikael, it's about true fulfillment. That money, career, sex and so on and everything that is in the outside doesn't lead to fulfillment, that's clear to me, I've been through all that. The fulfillment is supposed to be inside, but my experience says that there is also nothing. I've been meditating for a long time. When I go inside, there is nothing. Or to be more precise, there is silence, sad silence. I'm all alone there, and that alone makes me sad. I used to have tastes of fulfillment with Soham, but that's all gone. How do you experience your inner self?"
Mikael: Yes, thank you for this beautiful question. Yes, the fulfillment thing, that's one of those things, because we can't find it directly and can't look for it directly. If you have misplaced your keys, then you go through the house and you look everywhere, and at some point, you see them lying somewhere, and then you find your keys again. And with fulfillment it's different, with fulfillment or finding yourself, finding God.
We can't look for that like we would look for a lost bunch of keys, because we don't know what we're looking for at all. The only thing we know is an old longing within us that we probably don't understand at all. We know at some point: "Okay, everything that I know, that's not it. None of it gives me fulfillment." And we have this feeling that pulls us in a certain direction, but we don't know what we are really looking for, which is why we can't recognize it. And that's what makes this spiritual path so exciting.
You write that you meditate. And with Samarpan Meditation it's like this: you simply just sit down and actually do nothing. Nothing. You don't search for anything. You simply put your attention to the crown chakra, close your eyes, and then you sit there for half an hour. We'll do that together later. It's not like you sit there and wait for something. If you sit there and wait for something, then firstly you have an idea of what you are waiting for, and secondly, you are not meditating. You have an idea and you waiting. And so, you just have to sit there and meditate, and actually you not know at all what you're doing. In fact, you don't even know what it's all about. And yet you feel: this is good. It's simply good. You can feel how life is gradually changing.
But with every step of this path, in every meditation, in every day that you live... Everything you do, you basically have to do without looking for fulfillment. That's why it also has to do with trust, with trust and with letting go. You hear someone talking about it, maybe me or Soham. You write about Soham... And then you hear someone talking about it and you know it's true. You just know that. You have no idea what he's talking about. You haven't experienced it yourself. You have no idea about it either, what it's supposed to be about, but you know: "That's it. That's where I want to go." You know: that's right. That's all we have in our hands. That's all we know.
I read a nice quote the other day from a very well-known old poet, unfortunately I can't remember the name right now. Oh yes, of course: Rainer Maria Rilke. And he wrote: "Everything, everything in life takes time." And he writes about nature, how nature takes its time with everything and is never in a hurry, and that everything comes from this natural patience. And this is the case with everything, and also with what grows within us when we meditate and when you set out on the path to find fulfillment, Heaven or God, which is all the same thing.
So, if you live your life and meditate and constantly checking, "Okay, have I found fulfillment yet? Where is it?", then you won't find it. And if you just let go of all your wishes, including the search for fulfillment, and just be here and do what that feeling inside of you tells you, even if you don't understand it, for example meditating, then you are on the right path. It's a long, long time that you spend on this path without getting any results you see.
Many mystics talk about this. Some people call it the "dark night of the soul", but I don't like this expression because it gives the impression that one night is enough. It's more like the time in life that passes when you go from being a child to an adult, this transition of puberty: it takes at least ten years. And after ten years, most people are still not grown up, at least I wasn't. For me, puberty lasted thirty or forty years, but it doesn't matter how long it lasts. You know: this is the right path, and you know: this is where I'm staying, on this path. And then it doesn't matter how long it takes. That's the most important thing for you. That's the one thing that comes to my mind about this. Thank you for writing to me.
Simone: Dear Mikael, there is a question from Maik that I would like to read out.
Mikael: Yes, with pleasure. Hello Maik.
Maik: My question is about my relationship. I'm forty-nine years old, and my partner is eighteen years younger than me. We've been together for almost four years, and I've had doubts ever since the relationship began, whether she's the right one for me. This relationship is very special for me because she is the first woman in my life who has a great need to grow together and heal her own wounds. We've both done a lot of our own therapy and also couples therapy and couples therapy, and yet we keep getting stuck.
It becomes particularly clear when it comes to sexuality, how difficult it is for us to let go of the old shells. There are always arguments between us, and in the end, it boils down to the fact that we do not feel seen or valued by the other. This frustrates us and causes us to fall out of love again and again, even though there is love, but it is slowly crumbling, which makes me sad.
Conscious relationships are very exhausting for me, and my head has the idea that it would be better with a woman who will make it easier for me to relax. My relationship is usually quite the opposite of relaxing. However, relaxation in the relationship is a deep desire of mine, which probably has something to do with my childhood and trauma, because as a child I had little room for relaxation and regulation from my parents. What does a good relationship mean for sexuality and is my relationship good for me?
Mikael: Thank you, Maik. Thank you, thank you. I received the same question from Maik by e-mail and I was really looking forward to it, to this nice question. Thank you very much. Yes, you did a wonderful job summarizing a lot in your question about relationship, which I know from my life, from my relationships and what I hear from many people again and again.
So, first of all: You ask if this is the right relationship for you. Yes, without a doubt. There's no doubt about it at all, because that's the relationship you have.
And a relationship is not there for you to relax with it. If you want to relax then you do it best when you are alone with yourself and when you go inwards. People always believe they are in a relationship so that they can find joy and have fun, and of course that's partly true. Sometimes it really is fun. But first and foremost, a relationship is a great challenge for us, and that is a tremendous gift.
When you are alone with yourself, you can easily fool yourself into anything. When you're alone, you feel great and enlightened, it happens very quickly. There's this one story about an ascetic who lived high up in some cave in the Himalayas, and he feels totally one with God and everything. And then one day he went down to the city because he needed something, and then he completely lost it, and everything was gone. He had been kidding himself. But if you're in a relationship, then that can't happen to you, because everything that happens there, the nice things and the difficult things, they really bring us down to earth, they ultimately confront us with ourselves. So much in general.
I also find conscious relationships terribly stressful. I had something like that once, I remember. That was about twenty-five years ago now. Back then, I was with a woman whom I also really liked, of course. And this woman, she also wanted to work with me on herself and on the relationship. That's totally en vogue: working on the relationship. And I had an incredible aversion to it. I didn't know why at the time. I just realized: "No, I don't like that." I liked her a lot, and we were together for a long time. But to use this togetherness now to work on with each other and the relationship, I couldn't do that. I couldn't. I didn't want to.
The basic problem with all relationships is that one has expectations. Your girlfriend has the expectation that together with you she will resolve or learn things that are important to her. You have the expectation that you feel comfortable with her and relaxed and have nice sex. And there's nothing wrong with these expectations, except that they are expectations. When you meet a person and you have a certain expectation of how this is going to work and what is now possible, then you don't have a relationship, you have a deal, so to speak. You're making a deal, a barter deal. Do you know what I mean?
Living with someone is different. Living with someone is: "Okay, I am how I am, with my shell. I'm not throwing off my shell, because I don't even know how to do that. I am..." You said you wanted to throw off your shells, but that doesn't really work. And actually, it can't work, because you are just the way you are. You are just like that. You'd both like to be different. And you both wish that the other would be a little different too. And that is of course very unpleasant.
Start by allowing yourself to be who you are, as you are: with your shell, with your traumas, with your tension. And don't expect her to do the same. Accept yourself as you are and let her be who she is. That doesn't mean that you have to participate in something that you don't like. But the one thing you have to do yourself is: let go of your own expectations, and then see how it really is.
I said at the beginning of my answer to you that relationships are not there to make you feel good, but that it's a challenge, and a good challenge because we grow in it. And what "relationship" basically teaches us is that another person, no matter how much we love them, no matter how much that person loves us... Another person can never give us what we think we need. That is the great misunderstanding of relationship and love.
Sometimes I tell someone something like that and then they say: "But then why should I have a relationship at all?" You'll find that out when you have a relationship where you expect nothing, nothing at all. Then you will discover a whole new way of human togetherness, but it all starts with yourself.
You shouldn't expect that your girlfriend, your partner, will do the same: that she will also let go of her expectations and things like that. It's none of your business. You just have to look in every moment: "Okay, what's good for me right now and what's not? Where do I want to be involved and where not?" And that's a whole new dance, very delicate.
We don't know how to do it at all. It has to be explored from scratch. But if your inner attitude changes, away from what we've all learned, this hoping and wishing that you will learn and get something through the other, towards: "I don't need anything from you. I just love you," and take care of all the other things inside yourself, then everything will be different. Everything will be different. And you will also have no more problems in the relationship. And that's the beauty of relationships. It throws us back onto ourselves all the time.
You say it's frustrating sometimes. Yes! If I have expectations of someone, then I'm going to get frustrated. That's unavoidable. Maybe not the first two or three weeks. When you're together since a very short time you don't see all that yet, but it happens very quickly. And it's your own feelings that show you the way: "Ah, I am frustrated. What did I expect this time? What did I want this time?"
And you say, especially in sexuality it becomes clear with you. Yes, that's my experience too. In sexuality, people are closer to each other than anywhere else, they are more unmasked than anywhere else, more naked than anywhere else. And then it becomes very, very clear. When someone has expectations of you in a sexual encounter or you have expectations of your girlfriend in a sexual encounter, then these expectations are particularly painful, almost unbearable. And it's good that there's a dispute because these expectations have no place there. That's not going to work. Of course, most people don't know anything else, I know. But it doesn't have to be like this.
When I have a sexual encounter with a person, then I have no expectations, nothing, not even that it will be a sexual encounter. And even if it is a sexual encounter, in every moment again: no expectation. The next moment it might be something completely different. And you can meet in this way in sex and everywhere else.
That's the basis of a good relationship, and that simply requires that you take care of yourself. And you learn that through meditation. You learn that by taking space for yourself, getting to know your feelings, feeling your feelings, meditating regularly, and turning inward again and again. And then you will realize, after a while, that everything you have been looking for out there all your life, with your parents, with your siblings, with your friends and now with your partners, and what you never found, all that you will find inside. That's my experience. And since I found that inside myself, my relationships have changed completely. Completely.
That means you have to take care of yourself, but that is also really good news what I'm telling you, because that means: it's in your hand. You can do what is important for you yourself. You don't depend on your partner in any way. And the more you gradually discover this for yourself through your own experience, the more relieved the relationship becomes, the more beautiful, and after a while you won't have any more problems.
Thank you, Maik. I could talk about this topic for a long time, I've already made a few videos about it, and there will definitely be another one, because relationship is the area where we learn about these things best. That's why relationships are so, so important and valuable to us. Thank you.
Simone, should I read something else, or do you have something? I can't hear you. I can't hear you, Simone, I can't hear you. Have I done something wrong? I think you've muted your microphone, Simone.
Simone: There are no questions at the moment.
Mikael: Yes, fine, then I'll see what else I have here.
"I've been doing the Samarpan Meditation intermittently for four years, but nothing is happening. I wonder if Swamiji has overlooked me. I have a big photo of Swamiji with me and a small one in my wallet, but I do not perceive Swamiji in me. What can I do to make Swamiji notice me?" The question is about Swamiji, this Indian guru who brought the Samarpan Meditation that I talk about so much and that we're going to do later... He brought it from the Himalayas into society. He is a guru, my guru too, and the questioner now asks: "Why can't I feel him? I want to feel him."
There are many people who say that they can feel him and his energy clearly and are guided and carried by it. Yes, how can you feel that? I like the question and thank you for asking. What it's about is this: it's not about Swamiji seeing you. It can't be that Swamiji overlooks you.
It's like the sun. The sun shines in all directions equally and shines equally on everyone. But not everyone sits in the sun. There are also those who are sitting indoors with the windows and doors closed, and then they complain: "Why does the sun not shine on me?" That's how it feels for us, because we have never learned how to open our windows and doors so that the sun can enter us. Then we feel overlooked by God, unloved by God or by life, and we are convinced that we have been forgotten. That's how it feels. A lot of people feel like that.
That reminds me a bit of the first question I answered earlier. The thing with the bunch of keys that you're looking for. You don't know what you're looking for. You don't know what it feels like when you begin to feel God within you, or Swamiji. The only thing you can do is to let go of your expectations, go inward, again and again.
And whenever you get impatient... Until now you thought: "God doesn't see me", and then to realize: "Ah, there's my impatience again", and then to let go of this, and to let go of the expectation too, and to rest more and more in yourself. As long as we seek our happiness and God on the outside, we will find nothing at all, nothing.
And you say: when you meditate and go inward, then you feel alone, and it's difficult. Was that the question or am I getting something mixed up? I'm getting something mixed up. That was the question at the beginning. That is basically exactly the same. As long as we look outwards, and search that which we know from the outside within, in meditation, we will not find anything. And, by the way: then you will also feel alone. That is the same as with the question about the relationship: As long as I believe that someone should understand me, that someone should see me, even if it is the guru on the outside, I will feel overlooked, misunderstood, lonely.
And it's not enough to simply ignore all of this and go inside and then have the same expectations in this new direction. That's only half the battle. Through meditation, you learn to go inwards, an inside that you don't even know yet. And you can only take this path if you don't expect anything, not even a Swamiji, not even a God, because you do not know at all what that would feel like. You don't know anything about what could happen. And everything you could be waiting for, everything you could expect, comes from our imagination. Old stuff. It just doesn't help us here
And that's the crux of the matter, that's the art that you have to learn: to be here, to live, to live life, to know: I am on the right path, but to not have any expectations. And most people don't want that, it's too bothersome for them. But that's the filter, that's the gate you have to go through. So be patient. Be really patient and let yourself be surprised. Thank you, thank you for your question.
Simone: Mikael, there is now a question from Aurelia Samantha that I would like to read out.
Mikael: Yes, with pleasure. Hello Aurelia.
Aurelia: "Do you have any tips on how to detach from objects? Best regards and thank you."
Mikael: Of course, I don't know what kind of object you have. Perhaps you would like to tell me. Maybe you can write one or two sentences about what it is and what these objects mean to you. It doesn't have to be long, just one or two sentences. And Simone, if Aurelia writes something about this, please interrupt me. In the meantime, I'll say a few things.
We usually have a hard time letting go of something or detaching ourselves from something when we haven't really lived it, if we're not quite finished with it yet. I'm like that too. The things that I have, I value them all immensely. I actually only have things in my life that I really like, but I can't keep everything. And sometimes it is really hard to let things go. But I just appreciate them as much as I can. And when I really appreciate and enjoy them as well as I can, and then the time is over that I'm supposed to spend with this object, then that also becomes clear to me. Then it becomes a burden. I still like it. I might have memories too, but there is no more room for it; other than in my head... as I said: the memories.
Most people are plagued by those things they associate with an object. That has nothing to do with the object itself. I like to throw things away. I like to give things away. I don't throw most things in the bin. But as soon as I realize that I no longer use something, I try to get rid of it as profitably as possible. By profitably I don't mean that I get money for it, but that this object can be reused as well as possible. I give it away. For example, here near us, there is a social department store where you can hand things in that you no longer need, and these are then sold for very little money to people in need for very little money. I think that's great. And this way, my space and my life remain free of the things I don't need. And if nobody wants it anymore, then I'll give it away or give it somewhere else. And I find that such a relief.
Simone: Mikael, Aurelia got in touch: "Things and packaging for crafting, and the idea and memory how much I loved making things as a child. But I don't have enough space in my apartment. My partner and I need the space for something else."
Mikael: Yes, that's exactly how I envisioned it. Thank you for the additional information. It's not about the objects, but about the story, the history attached to the objects. For many people, these are childhood memories, for example, childhood photos. My mom went through an incredible amount of trouble to keep photos and make albums out of them, and I had really great photo albums about my childhood and my youth.
And the woman I live with here, and with her children, she does exactly the same thing. She takes photos everywhere and she keeps all this because she knows how much the children will appreciate it one day. And as long as you cherish these things, like for example, your old handicrafts that are closely connected to what you created as a child, something quite magical... as long as you appreciate things, it's not a problem.
But at some point, the time comes when something new takes over, and it just doesn't fit anymore. You still appreciate it, but it doesn't fit anymore. And I experienced that with those photos I was just talking about, for example. I've moved around a lot in this life, I've moved a lot, and not just from one city to another, but a few times from one continent to the next. And with every move I've made, I had to part with more things again, because it was just too much of a hassle to always put everything into boxes again, and then, six thousand kilometers away, to unpack it all again.
And with every move I have made in this life, at some point I had to travel the six thousand kilometers back again, with every move I've made, I had the opportunity again to take thing in my hand and to think: "Okay, of course I love it, so many memories, so much appreciation, but do I want to take that with me again now? Do I want to make room for it in the moving box, and then in the new home? And my homes were also getting smaller and smaller.
And at some point, twenty years ago, almost twenty-four years ago, I started traveling around with Soham, and then my home was the size of two suitcases. That was the ultimate challenge. Then I really only had the few things that I not only liked, but really just needed. And on this long journey I then gradually learned to accept this challenge that you are now facing with your beautiful childhood handicrafts.
Simone: Aurelia Samantha has added something else. "And also, items that I have received as gifts and have a guilty conscience about giving them away. I am aware that there are many stories and feelings are attached to the many objects. But I also believe that the objects give me support because of childhood traumas, being given away myself. But I was able to hold on to objects. I can follow what you're saying what you say, and I see it the same way. Thank you."
Mikael: Yes, thank you for adding that again. As long as an object is important to you, it has a place in your life. If it is an object that still gives you support today, then it has a wonderful function. There is no reason at all why you should have to give such an object away now. It's always about choosing. You have a certain place: "Okay, and which things are most important to me now? And if something like that is most important to you, then you will give it a place, no question about it. Other things may no longer be so essential for you now, and you can let go of them. Then say goodbye.
And sometimes it's simply a question of time. You can tell yourself: "Okay, now it's time to give it up," and then just give it a bit of time to say goodbye, so to speak, again and again.
As a man, I tend to be rather insensitive, but I'm always quite amazed when I observe how the mother of the children is with her children. When she knows that a certain matter is pending, for example, something they've been playing with finally needs to be cleaned up or something like that. As a man, I'm totally pragmatic and completely detached from life. I would just tell them one day: "Okay, that's enough, now it's time to clean up."
She does it completely differently. She knows: tomorrow it's time to tidy up. And then she tells them today: "It's time to tidy up", because she knows that the children need time. With everything the children do, they need time to adjust to it; to get used to it, to say goodbye to the game they are currently playing, to adjust to something new, no matter what it is. Even if they're going somewhere by car in an hour, then she tells them two hours in advance, because she knows they need time.
For every change, children need time. And I am always amazed, because this kind of wisdom is completely alien to me. But that's how we are as adults too. Many things simply need time. And it may well be that you know: "Okay, now it's time to let go of that." Then just give yourself a few more weeks time, and then maybe it will be a completely different matter. As I said: if you have something that is still really helpful to you today, then simply keep it.
But I would like to say something about other people's gifts. They are attached to stories and expectations, of course, but these are not your own. This is how I deal with gifts: I accept every gift I receive, simply because it is given with love and because I am happy about this love. And the gift is usually just a vehicle for the appreciation or the love that you share with each other. But then it's mine, then it belongs to me, I got it. And now I can do with it whatever I want. And that's what I do.
I only keep very, very few things myself, because I only keep the things that I really need. I simply don't have the space or the energy in my life for more, because every item needs energy. And that's why I'm giving it all back to people who can really use something like this, and where the item will be in good hands. And I take that right, because then it's mine.
There are people who give something away and then expect you to do something with it, but that's not giving. You're giving away expectations and it's not a nice thing. But I know, a lot of people do this. It's not easy to dance with this. But once you've given back a few things that you've been given as a gift but can't use, and then people realize it, then they'll stop giving you such things that you can't use, and then you won't have the hassle anymore. That's my experience. At some point, people stop doing that, even though they mean well, of course. I know that.
Just now at Christmas we have again gotten gifts from some of the neighbors that we of course don't need, but those people love us. And it's very important for them to do this neighborhood care and we accept that and we're happy about it. And now let's see what we can do with it. We're not going to keep it. It won't work. It simply doesn't. The burden is too great. I think it's great how these little things in life are just the same big challenge for us as the big ones are. That's why I like to talk about all these things. Thank you.
Simone: There is a question from Narashima that I would like to read out.
Mikael: Yes, with pleasure. Hello, Narashima.
Narashima: "Hi Mikael, there's a lot of uncertainty and doubt about decisions. Do you have an impulse? Thank you."
Mikael: Yes, decisions always cause uncertainty. It's like that with decisions: When I have the feeling that I have to make a decision, then it is usually the case that the time is not yet ripe. You have two or more options what you could or should do, but you can't decide. When at some point you do know, then you don't have to make a decision anymore, because then the matter is simply clear. You just do it. When the answer has come to you, you can tell by the fact that the decision that needed to be made has disappeared. It is simply completely clear: "I'm doing this now". That means: if you are faced with a decision and have the feeling that you can't decide, then that is a clear sign that the time is not right, or that it is not your decision. Other people often want us to make a decision when it's none of our business.
In both cases it's like this: you're not ready to make a decision. And it's very relaxing to see it like this. "Yes, okay, my brain says, my mind says I have to make a decision." Or maybe your partner says you have to decide now, or someone else, and you realize: "But I have no answer to that. I can't do that right now. Maybe tomorrow, I don't know either. Maybe I'll have an answer tomorrow, but certainly not today." And that makes the whole thing easy and gives yourself a bit of freedom. My experience is that everything that wants to be decided actually just needs time. And when you realize that you can't make up your mind, then it is simply a sign that you either still need time to decide, or that you don't really have anything to do with the question. In that case, send it back to the person who asked you the question, even if it's your own mind.
For example, it's often the case that partners ask each other something. For example... We were talking earlier about sexuality and expectations. I said, in sexuality, that's where the expectations that people have of each other become particularly painfully clear. When one asks the other: "Would you like to sleep with me?" That's a terrible question. As if you have to decide now. You'll know when your partner wants to sleep with you. It will become clear quite unmistakably. You don't need to ask a question. If you have to ask a question, then it's better not to ask it, because then it's not appropriate.
And that's the case with almost all questions that people ask each other. Then you suddenly have the feeling that "I have to make a decision now". But it's not my question at all. I don't even want to decide. Someone else wants me to make up my mind. And when you realize that, then it's a different story, then return the question back to where it came from. But if it's a decision that you really need and want for yourself, but you don't have an answer yet, then give yourself time.
Simone: Dear Mikael, there are still questions. I would just like to take the opportunity to mention people who just want to thank you. "Yes, I would love to." Karin Frei writes: "Thank you! It's nice to be here." And Dorothea Plank: "How nice to have found you. Thank you, Dhyan Mikael."
Mikael: How nice that you're here. Welcome.
Simone: Elimar also has a question, I'll read it out now.
Mikael: Yes, hello Elimar. Nice to have you here.
Elimar: "I've been dealing with the topic of 'Samadhist Guru' (Guru who has left his body). Swamiji says that only through a living Satguru in the body can we attain liberation. If I apply this to Jesus Christ, it would mean that one can no longer attain liberation through him, because he no longer lives in the body. I also find that presumptuous towards other religions, because there have always been enlightened ones through Jesus Christ, even when he was no longer alive. I think of Christian saints or sages like Theresa of Avila, Meister Eckhart, Hildegard of Bingen and others. Even in this day and age, people continue to be liberated by Jesus Christ or other masters who are no longer alive."
Mikael: Thank you for that question. That's a really, really great question. I just made a video about it two days ago. I published yesterday. The video is called "Living God, eternal learning." And I made the video, because I know that Swamiji is right. But I did it because I also know that almost no one else sees and experiences it the way I do.
And Swamiji tells it like this. There are people who are connected to a guru or a master who is no longer alive, for example with Jesus. He gives an example of a guru called Shirdi Sai Baba who lived in India a hundred and fifty years ago. And the disciple loved his guru. But the guru is no longer in his body. And this disciple then found Swamiji. He didn't know why at all. And Swamiji was then visited by this guru in his meditation. And this guru, this Shirdi Sai Baba, then said to Swamiji in Swamiji's meditation: "This disciple there, he belongs to me. He is ready now. Get him on his way for me." And that's what happened.
Most people don't know that Swamiji is right about this because they don't know what is possible. We love Jesus and he makes our lives so much easier. This knowledge of Jesus and this energy that we also have today and can still feel from him, gives us an idea of what a phenomenon this guru Jesus was. Unbelievable. And yet it is like this, that through this guru who is no longer living, we can't achieve liberation. It does not work.
I want to say two things about this. My personal experience... I have loved Jesus all my life. He carried me through everything, even though I wasn't really a believer. I don't know at all how that's even possible. Maybe I'm a very old disciple of his, I don't know. And I loved him, I trusted him. I didn't really understand him. But now, since I came to Swamiji..., and I don't know at all why I came to Swamiji. I don't know how that even happened. I never looked for it.
But now, since I met Swamiji six years ago, I suddenly understand Jesus. Now suddenly I understand my old master Jesus. Through and through. That's why I talk about Jesus so often. And people ask me, how did it come about? Where does it all come from? Why do you understand it like that? And then I say: "I don't know." But now it's as if I... as if he can speak directly to me in a completely different way, but only since this living guru has been in my life whom I have never looked for.
And Swamiji describes that it is exactly like that. You love your Master, you love your Jesus, your Guru, who has not been in his body for a long time. And this master, this deceased master, takes care that now, today, in your life, a living Jesus comes into your life, and then it will flow, then it will work. Then, everything works very, very, easily.
But people of today can't imagine that because they don't know what is possible. They love their Jesus, and they are happy and content with it. And no one has told them that what this Jesus has in mind for you has completely different dimensions. They know nothing about it. You say that also Christian mystics and of course also mystics in other religions have found their way alone, without a living master.
I would like to say two things about this. I'm interested in what works for me. I'm interested in what works for everyone. There are always individual people, who somehow seem to have managed this on their own. All I can say is, it's not like that in my life. And I can only share what happens in my life. I only want to share what I know what I'm talking about.
And the second thing I want to say about that is: we don't know how the lives of these mystics really were, what really touched them and opened them up. We do not know. We believe Jesus fell from Heaven just as he was, finished. We do not know. No one tells us anything about it. There are stories that are not officially in the Bible that tell other stories; that he did indeed have his masters. I don't know what was there. But we don't know.
Disciples always have a tendency to portray their own master larger than life, that's quite natural. They simply rejoice and worship him, and for the individual disciple, his master is God. But also he had his path.
In Indian culture it is quite different. There are these old gods who are also humans and who also went through their own path. And in Hindu mythology and in Indian culture, all these old stories are deeply rooted. They tell of all these paths and how everything played together, so that a person at one point became a living God.
But in our Christian culture, it's somehow different. Jesus is unique and he seemingly came into this world as he was, flawless and heavenly. It is not my experience that it works like this in life. He too was made that way by life, by God, somehow.
And the last thing I want to say is: often we don't even know, how the Master touches us, the living Master. We often don't even know, because we are not at all ready for the master, but the Master doesn't care. He touches you anyway. I once gave the example in a video, that... I was talking about this woman who wrote this beautiful book "Collision with Infinity", Susan Segal. She had her epiphany and her experience of God at a bus stop, out of the blue, completely unprepared. But years before that, she had spent a few years very intensively with a great guru, meditated and was with him. He touched her. Maybe she didn't even know about that what he had really sown in her. Years later the seed blossoms.
And that's exactly how it works. There is a person who is touched by someone, and they know nothing about it. And ten years later, twenty years later, he's a saint and he doesn't even know where it came from. That's what I want to say about it. But it's not really about finding out who is right or wrong. For me, everything that has to do with this spiritual path is something very pragmatic. And that's the only reason why all these words are actually spoken, by me, by Jesus or by anyone else: just to help you. It's like an offer to you.
You hear something and you realize, "Oh wow, yes. I don't understand a word of what he is saying, but there's something there; that's for me." And then you listen. But if you hear someone say things where you think to yourself: "Oh that's garbage", then just forget it. The guy is still right, but then it's not for you, your path will be different. That's all okay. We don't have to make things fit. We can't make things fit. That's not the point at all.
When I talk about things like that, for example like in the video which I published the day before yesterday, I only do it for one reason: so someone, to whom something like this happens that he is touched by a living God... that he hears... that this person hears: "Ah, that's normal. That's a good thing. That's no reason to be concerned." I mean, of course it's cause for concern because your whole life is going to change. But my point is simply this: that's just part of it. But I'm not saying to people who are completely unfamiliar with this and who also don't want to know anything about it at all that they need something like this. That's not what it's all about.
Everyone has their own path, everyone discovers their own path, which is unique. And you find your own path by looking at what you resonate with and what you don't resonate with. That's how our soul guides us. And if you don't resonate with something, just forget about it. There's no need to argue. For someone else, the same thing may be incredibly valuable, and then, for them it is the right way, but for you, it's other things. For you, it's the things with which you resonate.
And that's how I live my own life too, every day. I don't copy someone else. I pass on what touches me, nothing more. And I say in every one of my Live Chats and in every one of my videos, I say one thing over and over again: I'm just trying to make you listen to your own feeling, to go your own way, that's really all. And if we can see it that way, then we can relax with the whole story and then it's much easier for us to accept the wonderful things that life often offers us. You can cherry-pick, so to speak. You can pick out what is right for you. You don't need to eat all the rest. Thank you, Elima. It's great that you're here. I'm delighted.
Simone: Mikael, Elimar has written a few more lines, which I'd be happy to read them to you if you like. "I love the example you described very much. And I also had through Swamiji loving contact with Shirdi Sai Baba. What do you say about the liberated saints and sages I have mentioned who attained liberation without the living Jesus? How do you think that happened? I feel just a presumption and arrogance to the Christians living now, even though I myself am very happy and grateful for Swamiji."
Mikael: These saints you speak of, they could answer your question. The one quality that I sense in all of them is such infinite humility. None of them would say: "I achieved this myself." They all said it in their own way: "God, I am nothing, and yet you shower onto me." They were so full of humility. And I made the video the day before yesterday precisely because we modern people can't help but believe that we could do everything ourselves. And that's because we have learned that we have to do everything ourselves.
You know, twenty-three years ago I came to my spiritual master Soham, and at that time I thought I really had it down. I thought I was clever. I believed I could do miracles. And then my time with him began and in the beginning, it was a journey of discovery for me of what I really am. That was sometimes shattering for me, because my whole self-image crumbled. All the things that I imagined I was capable of; I couldn't actually do any of them. I probably thought I should be able to do them. And then I learned very gradually what I can really do, and that is not much. I became more and more quiet and more and more humble.
I can't argue with you about that topic now because I don't know what these saints would say, but what I sense from them their basic quality is this complete humility, this "I am nothing". And that, by the way, is the gateway to Heaven, the one that people don't want to hear about at all, and what they don't want to be themselves. A St. Francis of Assisi would say: "What, I'm supposed to have done this myself?" He'd have a laughing fight.
As I said, we don't know how the Divine touches us and what the living Master looks like. Maybe he just walked by. Maybe he just looked at him once, somewhere. That was enough with a Jesus. You don't need to know that there was a Jesus standing next to you. We don't do this ourselves. We don't do any of these things ourselves. That's the relief. That's the blessing, when you start to discover that a little.
And then we hear someone like Swamiji say something like that and we think: "What does he dare to say there?" But Jesus said the same thing. Jesus said: "I am the way, only through me do you come to the Lord." And he said exactly the same thing then as Swamiji says today. He did not say: "Only through me, Jesus of Nazareth, I am the only one here." No: "Only through me, Christ", only through a living God, only through someone through whom God flows now. "Only through me will you enter the Kingdom of Heaven." And Swamiji says it today in his own way, in his own words.
We modern people resist against this kind of devotion with everything we have. This: "Yes, I can't do that. You, do it, God." And Jesus described exactly how it works: "Only through me". Through the Christ. Not through the Jesus, through the Christ: "Only through me do you come to the Lord". And there is no other way. No one can tell me anything else. But we can't believe it. We just can't believe it. But at some point, everyone comes to the point where one recognizes this. And then, the new life begins. Thank you.
Simone: There are two new questions in the live chat that I would like to read out. And then there is also a comment from Aurelia, who wrote to you about these items that she would like to let go of. And I'll start with Cat-Eight:
"Contact ban due to alleged endangerment of the child's welfare, blocking contact with own child, offer by the parent that the child can make contact. What's buzzing? Responding or not? Torn back and forth. Let go, how much?"
That's the question, Mikael.
Mikael: Are you the father or are you the mother? Read the next question and we wait a moment to see if something comes up, okay?
Simone: Good. Löhne-Fritz writes: "A defiant, stomping, protesting child still lives in me, and for all my love and understanding it seems to prevent me from falling deeper and finding peace. Can you tell me something or can you take me and the little one by the hand for a moment? Thank you and best regards."
Mikael: Thank you, thank you for your words. You can only go on with this little stomping child. Don't worry about silence and peace, take care of the little one. You can also do that when meditating. You can do that when you are alone and become still. Let these feelings from this little one come, and give them your loving attention.
I said earlier: I am a man and therefore rather insensitive, and I experience here how a mother deals with such things. And I experience it every day. The children are ten and fourteen, and every day they have something, sometimes really strong feelings, and then they're angry or annoyed or upset or grumpy or they're annoying or loud and this and that. And as a man, I then have some things to say about it, none of which are helpful.
And what does mom do? Never mind what the child is feeling at the moment, she gives it her full attention and time. When I myself would react a bit dismissively out of my lack of understanding of human nature, she just sits down on the sofa with the child, just takes it in her arms, and is just there. And then she explains to me afterwards: "Actually all they ever want is attention."
And that's how it is with our feelings. Whether that's defiance or fear or loneliness: these feelings are the language of our soul, so to speak, or of our little child, our heart, call it whatever you want. "I want attention. I've dressed up and want to see if you love me the same way when I'm defiant. I want to see if you love me when I'm angry. I want to see if you love me when I'm angry, when I'm unreasonable or stubborn." Yes, that's how these feelings speak. Be there for them. Give these feelings the stillness that you are actually looking for and this peace that you are actually looking for. Give this to these feelings.
And you can only move forward with this kicking child, you can't go on without it. And you don't have to wait for it to stop, that it will stop at some point, it won't stop. But you'll become better and better friends, and at some point, you're one and you don't even think about it anymore.
I have that too. I still have it. But I've gotten used to it, to welcoming all of this always and indefinitely, these things. For me, there is no such thing as contradiction. And I'm happy about your question, because it's so, so important. We adults often think we should be over it. And especially if we're spiritual adults, we sometimes think we should be over it, but that's not true at all. The opposite is the case. That's why Jesus spoke so fondly of children. Thank you.
Did we hear anything else from the question before?
Simone: No, we haven't heard anything. Elimar has briefly added something and would like to say thank you: "Thank you for your answer, dear Mikael, even if it doesn't feel quite right for my soul."
Mikael: Yes, that doesn't matter. Listen to your soul and not to me.
I would like to briefly address the previous question, even though I haven't heard anything more about it now. And then I would like to finish the questions so that I can say something about meditation, and then we'll meditate together. The question was about this situation with the child endangerment, and that contact is limited or regulated.
Simone: Excuse me, Mikael, if I interrupt you for a moment, Cat-Eight just wrote that he's the dad.
Mikael: Aha, yes, thank you very much. Thank you very much. For me, it's like this: when I feel conflict somewhere, then I know that's not the way. I've experienced this myself in the house. Not the father of my partner's children, but relatives wanted to force contact, in court. And they succeeded. But the kids don't appreciate it. They suffer from the conflict. For children, everything must be voluntary, easy and simple. Not only for children, of course, but also for adults too. We never change. And my advice to you is: if it requires conflict, it's probably not a good way. Sometimes you are forced into conflict, but in your case, I don't think that's the case.
Simone: Now he writes: "Ten years in court."
Mikael: Yes, it's endless. Ask yourself why you're doing this at all. Usually, adults have two reasons to argue and fight there. One is because they think it's important for the child. But that's not true. It is important for the child to have peace, love. And if that's not possible with you no matter why, then so be it.
But most adults do think that they need that and that it's important for them. And that's not true either. You don't need anything from your child. You don't need anything at all from that direction. On the contrary. If you have the feeling that you need something, turn to yourself.
You know, situations like the one you are experiencing touch on ancient things from our own childhood. They have nothing to do with what you're experiencing. I can tell you from my own experience: The intensity with which you experience such things on the outside usually reflects that which you carry somewhere inside you. And that's why it's so healing and so useful when at some point you start to turn to yourself after all.
Start meditating. Start to find what you are looking for, maybe you don't even know what you're looking for, to give it to yourself, to find it within yourself, even if you don't even know yet how it's all supposed to work. But simply by changing direction, you will discover completely new possibilities over the next few years.
But I can tell you one thing. No matter what you are looking for: in the battle, which you already know, you won't find it. Never.
I have to stop now. Thank you for your question. I know what situation you are in. Thank you all for your questions. I just love this.
And I would like to say a few things now about Samarpan Meditation. We will now meditate together in a moment. I have to mute something here on my end. My computer just started talking, even though it should actually shut up. So.
We're going to do the Samarpan Meditation together, and if you like, then you are very, very welcome to meditate together; to meditate with me and everyone else. And that lasts half an hour. We're going to start right now, in two or three minutes, so that we can finish on time at four o'clock. And during meditation... I'll briefly describe what you do purely outwardly.
You sit down comfortably. It is good if you sit with your root chakra, with your buttocks, with your crotch on the floor. I do this cross-legged, in a half lotus position. If that's not possible for you, it's not a problem at all, then you can sit on a chair, but it is helpful if your bare feet are on the floor so that you have good ground contact. It's helpful to sit in such a way that you can sit comfortably and simply leave your body alone without exerting yourself. I find it helpful if the spine is as upright as possible. Slouching on a sofa like this or in a bed is not so helpful. But anyone can do as they please.
Swamiji, who brings this meditation to us, says again and again: "All the details are completely unimportant." And I'm only telling you about it to tell you how I do it and what I find helpful. But that's all unimportant. The only important thing is that you meditate. The rest is just little things.
Yes, then you sit there, and then you take your right hand and you put it on top of your head, just like that. I'll show you this now, and in two minutes we'll get started, then we'll do this all together again. And then you put your hand on the top of your head, and the hand does three clockwise circles. And then you slowly take your hand down again. And our attention has the natural tendency to go to where our hand was. And that is now up there on the crown chakra, and that's where we leave it now.
Then we close our eyes, and now, at the beginning of the meditation, we say a very short, simple mantra. I'll say this now in German: "I am a holy Soul. I am a pure Soul." That is all. We repeat that three times. This is the reminder to ourselves of what we really are, even if we can't imagine at all what that even means. But you will gradually find out over time for yourself. And then you just sit there, your hands are down again, we have spoken the mantra. I'll recite it and you can repeat it. And now you just sit there with your eyes closed, and your attention is up here on the crown chakra.
That's all you do. We don't imagine anything; we don't wait for anything. It's not about achieving a certain state. On the contrary, it's important that you don't wait for anything, that you don't want to reach a certain state; to just be here, forget everything and be up here with your attention.
And another hint: you'll realize that your attention doesn't stay there; it will be drawn back to the thoughts, one floor deeper, into the head, or to the body, because some big toe itches or something else. None of that doesn't matter, it's not a problem. You just keep going back, very gently, very patiently, with your attention back to the crown chakra. That is all.
That's all we do. That all sounds totally unremarkable, but if you do it every day, every morning, it changes your life.
Yes, that's all I want to say today and now we're going to meditate together.
I am a holy Soul.
I am a pure Soul.
I am a holy Soul.
I am a pure Soul.
I am a holy Soul.
I am a pure Soul.
…
Thank you. You can now slowly open your eyes again.
And I'm looking forward to tomorrow. Happy New Year.
Good Evening.
I'm looking forward to this live chat tonight. If you don't know me yet, I make videos about my life and what I experienced in this life with my master, with my guru, and I answer questions here in the live chat; if you have any, you are welcome to write your question in the chat of the transmission on YouTube, and then Swantje will read out your question, and I will answer it. And in between I will also read out questions that have reached me via e-mail for this chat. And otherwise, I answer questions in my videos; you can find information about that in the description of this broadcast. Yes, and now I'm looking forward to it. Swantje, is there anything you could read out yet?
Swantje: "Yes, there is already something."
Dhyan Mikael: "Yes, beautiful."
Swantje: Strange Bob writes: "Good evening, dear community."
Dhyan Mikael: Good evening. Nice to have you here.
Swantje: And Sunny writes: "Thank you, Mikael, for being here. I especially like Satsang with you. Currently there is strong restlessness, retraumatization from childhood by a so-called narcissistic partner. Do you have a tip?"
Dhyan Mikael: Thank you. What we experience today when you.... You say you have a narcissistic partner, and your childhood trauma is touched by that, and that's a good thing. We carry these old things that we couldn't deal with in childhood around with us all our lives without really being in touch with it. I have that too. And at some point, when we're old enough, when we've become strong enough in our being, and that can take a very long time, then something happens in our life today, whereby that is touched and can come to the surface again.
Only now we are no longer little children, but bigger and more grown up and stronger and more independent, and now we can deal better with these ancient, preserved feelings and traumas. They're still very intense, of course, but now is a good time for that when it comes up. So, the partner that you have, it doesn't just happen to be in your life, but it's just right for this time that's in your life right now. It needs all your attention. It helps you if you don't blame your partner now, but welcome whatever it triggers in you, however that is possible for you. That might sound like a big challenge, but: really welcome what's coming up now. That's good that this is coming up now.
I remember when that was up for me. It was now... I don't know, 25 years ago, when my childhood trauma came knocking on my door. And that was tough, of course, but I could deal with it. As a child, of course not. And that's all right. It's all just right. Our soul is saving it for us until we're ready, and now is the time. Make time for it. Make space for it, inside you. Be patient. Seek help when you need it. But if you can find that basic attitude within you: "Okay, yes! Now I say yes," to what's coming in you there; that's really helpful. And it's my experience with my trauma and with other intense experiences in my life: when something like that is ticked and awakened, it feels incredibly big. For us today, it feels like we felt as a child. Back then the world stood still for us, but now we're big and we have more possibilities. And my experience is: it passes relatively quickly, a few years, and you digest it and process it.
And then a new life begins, a life without this dormant trauma. For me, that was a turning point in my life, a really good point, a fruitful point. And if you can see it that way, that nothing is wrong, but that this is really something good now: that's also helpful for you.
And focus on yourself, not on your partner. He's not important at all right now. Maybe that will give you some kind of inspiration, that will help you in your situation. And: I know it, and you're not alone. Thank you for your question.
Swantje: Mikael, how did you realize that you were finished with the processing? Did no more topics come up, or how was that?
Dhyan Mikael: You're actually never really finished with the processing. You always carry certain things around with you. It's like... I always fell down as a child. Always on the same hill I raced down to the playground and fell.... Every time I did that, I fell down, always on the same knee, and I still have the scar today, and it will never go away. And it's the same with these internal scars. But they... how can I describe it? They don't knock us down anymore. The overwhelming pain, it becomes quiet at some point and is simply loved, and it simply becomes quieter. And then there are always situations in my life where I realize: "yes yes, that's me, that's where it comes from...", but it's no longer explosive. It doesn't scare me anymore. I'm still affected by it occasionally, but I'm no longer crippled. I've grown from it and I have a scar. I'm kind of limping, but that's okay.
Swantje: Johanna Kirchhoff writes: "I was allowed to find you via Stefan Hiene. A wonderful gift. Best wishes from Vancouver Island.
Dhyan Mikael: Wow! I salute to Vancouver. And I thank Stefan Hiene for the wonderful people he sent me. I'm really happy. It's great that you're here!
Swantje: And then Ariane Mai says hello: "Nice to see you here. I was able to discover you through Stefan Hiene."
Dhyan Mikael: Hello Ariane! Yes, a warm welcome to you too.
Swantje: And Nara Simha writes: "Hi Mikael. Here appears deep insecurity and great guilt. Can you say something about that? Thank you."
Dhyan Mikael: Is that the same person who just asked the question about the trauma?
Swantje: Now Nara Simha is asking, another person.
Dhyan Mikael: Ah okay, thank you. I just don't want to mix it up. Then please read them again.
Swantje: "Here appears deep insecurity and great guilt. Can you say something about that?"
Dhyan Mikael: Oh yes, I can say something about that. These are my friends: guilt, insecurity. I could say a lot about it now, because I know the feelings. I was always a totally insecure person as a child, as a teenager, as a young adult, and I'm still often insecure, but you can't tell anymore because I made friends with it many years ago, with this feeling. And the same goes for guilt: we feel responsible for how other people are doing, and we just feel guilty. I know that very well. And what doesn't help at all is to think about where that comes from and what you can do differently. That's not what these feelings are for. These feelings are there for you to make friends with them.
There is this beautiful poem by... Is it not by Rumi? Who says: one is like an inn, and the feelings are the guests who come, and one opens the door and lets the guests in, as long as they want to stay, and make them as comfortable as you can, and then they move on. And if you feel insecure, just say yes to that feeling. Our normal reaction is: we want to not have it. The uncertainty, the insecurity unsettles us, and we don't even know what we should do. But just say "yes" to it: "Okay, come here. Come on my lap." Letting yourself be touched by this feeling, that changes everything.
Soham, my spiritual master, he advised me to do that 20 years ago, and he said then: if you don't reject the uncertainty and send it away into the cold out, but invites it in and takes it on your lap and gives it attention and love, inside, then it no longer feels insecure. And that's exactly how it is. And it's exactly the same with the feeling of guilt. These feelings are triggered because there is something in us that we didn't want to have before. And then things happen in our outer life to evoke those feelings in us, until we say "yes".
And it's my experience... In the beginning you think: "What? You want me to say yes to that? That's not possible at all! That's just not possible!" But we never tried it. Close your eyes... you can do that now... close your eyes and see where, you feel that feeling in you; where in your body that is sitting right now... and let it be there. Say, "Yeah, okay, you don't have to be afraid anymore. I'm not going to send you away now. Just stay there." Then you will notice how this feeling immediately relaxes a little. And then you can really give it space inside you, very quietly, without a story, you know; without thinking about what it triggered and what it wants to tell you. No. Just like taking a child on your lap.
These feelings are your children. To the extent that you give it your loving attention and not thinking about it, to that extent it loses this sharpness, this feeling, and suddenly you realize "Oh, I don't need to be afraid of it at all. It's just a feeling." An intense feeling, yes, but a feeling that you can feel. And that you can really practice. When I learned that 20 years ago, my whole inner emotional life changed, because after a relatively short time I realized: I don't need to be afraid of my feelings. Then it's almost like those feelings bring you something. Try it out. Try it out for a few days and see how you feel then; whether you understand what I mean. You feel really gifted after a while, like these feelings are bringing a part of yourself back to you, and that's how it is. And be patient with yourself. Just when you start to learn to see these feelings not more as a problem and as an enemy, but as a beloved welcome guest.... You just have to practice it for a while, but then it's easy. Thank you for asking me. Thank you.
Swantje: Ella Bella writes: "Hello you dear soul. How do I deal with the resistance with what is?"
Dhyan Mikael: Thank you. That's a beautiful question. First of all, with a lot of patience. You know we grew up like this; we know nothing else. All people live in resistance with what is, all but one percent. And we've been doing that for generations, actually since the beginning of humanity. And now we're at a time on this planet where we've discovered: "Oh, there's another way!" And that's why we need patience in the first place. You read spiritual books or hear clever people who say: "accept everything", and that's also a good idea, that really is the key to happiness. Swamiji, my guru, said the other day, "When the person learns to accept everything, all his problems disappear," and he means it exactly that way. And that's my experience: it's the same. It's true. If you can say "yes" to everything, then life is so different, so easy, so beautiful. People who don't say "yes" can't even imagine that. They say, "no no, I can't say 'yes'; then my life goes down the drain." But the opposite is the case.
And you heard that somewhere. You also feel: "yes, that's a good idea", but that doesn't make the resistance go away. And my recommendation is: start small. Don't make it a new way of life, that doesn't work. It's like... it's like a habit, you know, this habit of saying "no" to everything, rejecting everything. And then you can start with very small things and practice saying "yes" to them; to what life just serves up to you: simply say "yes" to that. Something happens, a hammer falls on your foot, and instead of swearing about it now and making yourself look stupid and not wanting the pain, you think: "ah, it hurts. I could say 'yes' to that right now." Or you do something stupid, you cook and spill something: "Ah, okay, I'm a scatterbrain. Yes, I'm a scatterbrain. That's how I know myself. Yeah, I've been doing that all my life.... Now I love myself so much, as scatterbrained as I am."
Start with the little things that come up all by themselves in everyday life and give you an opportunity to practice saying this "yes" to yourself. And in all the other areas where you can't say "yes", where you are in resistance be patient with yourself, infinitely patient. You know, just the fact that you see: "Wow, I have resistance, wow! And I wish I could say yes, but I can't." If you can say that, then you're almost there. Seeing that, you don't have to worry much anymore. Now just practice a bit more. And like I said: start with the little things.
And life gives you enough opportunities to do that every day, at least it does for me. I do so many stupid things. And I sometimes say in my videos: "I'm really brainwashed and stupid", and then people write to me: "but Mikael, that's not true at all!" But you have no idea. You know yourself how it is, you know yourself how it is: you're simply impossible and actually do everything wrong. Luckily no one else sees it. And you see your own impossibilities, and not mine, but I see mine. So, in the areas where you are in resistance be patient with yourself, love yourself as you are, with your resistance. Say "yes" to the resistance. If you start resisting the resistance now, that doesn't make it any better. And I promise you: that's enough. That's enough. It goes on and on very gradually. This acceptance in the very small things, that spreads further and further, unstoppably. That's my experience. And it doesn't take long. Thank you for your question.
Swantje: Ella Bella writes to your current answer: "Yes, that's right. Thank you very much."
Dhyan Mikael: So very much.
Swantje: And Dorotea writes: "Dear Mikael, through what did you become so loving, accepting or have you always been devotional? "
Dhyan Mikael: I'm very touched by that now. Spontaneously I wanted to answer: that came through Soham, he made me so loving; he taught me to love my feelings: what I recommended earlier. He taught me, from the very beginning. And that's how I learned to love myself, to accept myself as I am. I just told you: I'm just as much a cuss as all of you, like you. I learned to love myself. And once I had learned to love myself, it went on and on, and then... once you start to accept yourself as you are, and you know your own scatterbrainedness and mistakes and shortcomings best of all, then it becomes easier and easier to love all others. And when you've really accepted yourself; when you've learned that, then loving the world, that's already happened. The hardest thing is to love yourself. And that's what he taught me, with infinite patience.
And I'm so slow. It took me so long. But it doesn't matter, I had enough time. And when I had learned a bit from him after 15 or 20 years, I realized that I was actually this gentleness and with this acceptance had already been born in this life; that I had somehow brought with me, probably from my last life. I'm not such a spiritual person now, I can't really say anything about it, but in the meantime I'm sure that it must be so. And he taught me through his wisdom.... By teaching me to love myself, he has helped me to rediscover what I brought with me. None of this is my doing. I feel it's a tremendous gift, a great blessing in my life, that I can embody that in this life in such a way. It's incredibly beautiful. But it's not because I'm so wise or so cool.
You have the same qualities. I would say times: All people who start to be interested in the way inward; all people who discover their traumas; all people who realize that they have resistance; all people who realize that they have feelings they don't want, are already so sensitive, so much more sensitive than all the other people around... we were all born with this gentleness and sensitivity this whole crowd of humanity that is heading in this direction now. I am maybe three steps further than you and can therefore encourage you: "yes, that is good, that's a really great quality. " There was once a wise man who said: "You can only see in others what you carry within yourself." Thank you.
Swantje: Anbil writes: "Am currently in a psychosomatic day clinic. Does this strengthen the ego, or is it good for the awakening process?"
Dhyan Mikael: Oh, don't worry at all about what strengthens the ego, really don't. We have this weird idea that we have to do certain things or avoid certain things in order to not but the part of us that thinks about this thing and worries about it is of course the ego. Don't think about it. If this is good for you, then be grateful for this clinic. Just take all the help you can get in life to make it easier for you and to make it easier for you. It's all a help. We don't need to make it difficult for ourselves. And you don't have to fight yourself, or your ego. Make it really easy for yourself.
And sometimes I have the feeling that when it comes to spirituality that certain things.... that you pretend that don't fit in: if you have psychological problems or are undergoing therapy or are taking psychotropic drugs or are perhaps in a psychosomatic clinic or... But that's all nonsense. We're humans, we have all these challenges, and you can take any help, accept any help, that's out there. That's what it's there for. Don't worry about your ego, not at all.
There's this beautiful story of the man.... There's a flood in the land, a great flood. The water rises more and more, and at some point, the water up to the roof of the house, and the man climbs onto the roof and prays to God: "Please save me, please save me, I don't want to drown!" And after a while, a rowboat comes by with a fireman who says, "Come on, man, I'll take her" But he says, "No, keep going, God will save me." And then the water keeps rising and rising, and then at some point a ship comes by from the police and wants to take the man away, and he says: "No, it's okay, I'll wait for God, he'll save me." At the end the water is up to the gable. Then a helicopter comes and wants to pull the man up with a winch, and he says: "No, keep flying, I'm waiting for God!" And then he drowns. Then he goes to Heaven and the first thing he does is complain to God and say, "What was going on? Why didn't you save me?" And God says to him, "So listen: first I send you the guy with the rowboat, then the ship, and in the end, I sent you a helicopter, and you said no every time."
I'm telling you this because we have this idea that somehow there's help that's spiritual and help that's not spiritual, but that's nonsense, there's no such thing. Make it easy for yourself. Say yes to the help you're getting. I think it's great. A psychosomatic clinic like this, it gives you a breather; it gives you a little place where you can rest for a few hours. All the best, and enjoy the time.
Swantje: Nara Simha asks, "How do I go from guilt and self-loathing to compassion. That seems almost impossible."
Dhyan Mikael: That's impossible too. No one said you should go from hate and guilt to compassion. Hate was that, did he say that? It's not about moving from hate and guilt to compassion. If there's hate, then be with the hate. That's just that: love what's there. To stay with the words of my master Soham that I mentioned earlier: when hate is no longer hated, then it slowly stops hating. I like these pictures. But it really is like that. You realize: you have this hatred, you can only marvel, and you don't even know where it comes from. You just know: you don't want to have it. And that's what hate hates. It's really about: when you're feeling hate and guilt, don't think about compassion.
Compassion comes by learning to love the hate, your hate; to love your guilt as if you were really guilty. People always try to figure out that they're not really guilty, and they think that will make the guilt go away, but that's not true. Feel those feelings like you're really like that; like you're really guilty. Invite them in and feel the feelings, through and through. Have compassion for yourself. Have compassion for those feelings. Be there for those feelings, as if you were their mom. No mom would ever send her child away, no matter how they act. And that's how you deal with those feelings. You learn compassion through these feelings, through nothing else. Compassion is not an ideal that you somehow discover and learn. Compassion is a result of very slowly beginning to love yourself as you are: with hate, with feelings of guilt, with all that human stuff.
And we've learned: we're supposed to be different: "Be different! Don't feel that way! Don't say that! Don't be like that!" And we're still doing that to ourselves today. And it's like such an about-face, you know.... Like you stop inside yourself, to even look at these feelings that are inside you for the first time, to look them in the face: "Ah, okay. Yeah, okay. Come here." Have compassion for the hate, have compassion for the guilt, and be patient. I know, that feels impossible, but it's not true. Well, if I can learn it, then you can learn it too, really. And don't fall into this trap of wanting to have a different feeling. Having compassion is of course a great thing, sounds totally spiritual.
I can remember some Satsangs of my master Soham, they were very special Satsangs, where this person, this master, radiated such compassion. And people were asking him, "What is it that we feel about you?" And I know him, I basically lived with him, and I knew: he had such a shitty day, he had such a hard time with himself and his feelings. And what he did there was what he advised everyone else to do: say "yes" to himself. Saying yes to his feelings. Saying yes to your condition, having compassion for yourself. And from the outside, no one has seen these difficult feelings that he says "yes" to on the inside. From the outside, one has only seen this "yes" this compassion that he has practiced towards his own feelings.
That's how compassion arises, just like that. That's the natural way. That's how it happens. And that's how I do it; that's what I learned from him. Not an hour goes by where I don't do something stupid: "yes, that's how I know him, Mikael, yes." Love yourself, have compassion for yourself. And if you learn that even a little bit, then you'll be amazed to realize, "Wow, then I love everyone else too!" This way around it works. Thank you for your question. It really touches me, because I know it so well from my own experience.
Swantje: Cornelia writes: "Dear Mikael, could you please say something about the present moment or presence? I keep getting lost in the things of everyday life and can only be in the present moment so briefly. Thank you."
Dhyan Mikael: Thank you, Cornelia. What you're describing is the experience of every single human being and also of me. It's like this: it's not possible to stay in the moment. If you're in the moment, there's no one who can watch out that you don't fall out of the moment again, so to speak. So, you can't get into the moment and then stay there. You can get into the moment, the moment you realize that you're somewhere else again. And you probably know this: you have this feeling: "Ah, I'm all the way here", and it feels wonderful. Of course, you think, "This is where I'm going to stay forever," and the next thing you notice is that you've been in thought for 10 minutes. Then you think: "Oops, how could that happen to me? I'm totally lost in thought again!"
And then just don't reproach yourself; just get back to the moment as best you can: that's possible for us in these moments when we notice it, and only in these moments. And that then becomes more and more habitual. There are two things you can do to be more and more in the moment. One is that you say "yes" to everything as it is; what we have already addressed several times in this live chat. The more I've practiced being okay with everything that is here at the moment, the less the tendency to escape, because what's there, because it doesn't suit me. The second thing we can practice is: whenever we notice that we are no longer in the moment: to return there, we can do that.
And the more non-judgmental we do that, the better we can learn that. So, you realize, "Oops, now I wasn't in the moment at all, I completely lost myself." And now you can really beat yourself up: "Why am I so stupid? I should be able to do it already! I've been practicing this for 5 years now..." But of course, that's not helpful at all. That's not being in the moment, that's slipping away even deeper. No! As soon as you realize that, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and it is: just go back: "Ah, I could come back", so quietly, so quietly without judgment, without reproach, so simply return as easily as possible, and that again and again, a hundred times, a thousand times, a million times, again and again. You know, we act like we're stupid, and like that's his the most natural thing in the world, and we think: "Everyone else can do it, except me:" Isn't that right? But I said it earlier: we're learning something here that we've never learned before, that we've never tried before.
For hundreds of lifetimes, maybe even thousands of lifetimes, we have opposite, and the whole society, all the people around us, always encourage us in the opposite. And so far, it was the case that only very few people on the earth, always just a few... some who had completely withdrawn from this world, which is so crazy... those, they learned it somehow after decades of practicing. But the rest, the rest of the planet, has always been like this.
And now we live in a time... you may not even realize what an incredibly blessed time we live in... We are now living in a time where this suddenly becomes possible for people like you and me, here in society, who have a job family, friends, who work and are just normal.... Suddenly we learn what only these ascetics used to learn somewhere in some cave hundreds of miles away from the nearest civilization: we learn it now in the midst of life. And it's not hard to learn. It's quite natural to learn that. It takes just a little time, a few years. You've been practicing the opposite for 100 lifetimes now, and in this lifetime, if you're 40 right now, 40 years of the opposite too, and now you're starting to practice that for the first time: being in the moment.
And with spiritual things like that, we all somehow have this feeling: "But we should already be able to do that!" When you learn to play the piano, you don't expect that the next day you'll be able to play a symphony flawlessly; you know: it takes years. But with something like "being in the moment" or "saying yes to the feelings" or "having compassion for yourself", we think, "Yeah, why can't I do that yet?" But that's a much bigger and also a much more important challenge than playing the piano or other things we take a lot of time for. Give yourself time. It's all okay. This whole life is exactly for that.
You're just discovering the meaning of this life: learning to be in the moment. And then you discover everything else I always talk about. I've actually just talked about it so much right now to make you kind of feel like, "It's perfectly okay where you are." Just practice. Just keep practicing like you have all the time in the world to do just that. And the more patient you are with yourself, the more you are in the moment. And the more impatient you are with yourself, the more you are somewhere else. The more you can love yourself, even when you're not in the moment, the more you are in the moment. And the more you reject that, the more you are somewhere else again. Love you just the way you are, and keep coming back here and take it easy. That's the beauty of my master Soham, he's been teaching me that for 23 years. He didn't take anything seriously, it was always completely non-serious for him. And I would like to pass that on. Thank you for your question.
Swantje: Dorothea writes: "It is your love that I feel. I only know Soham from videos. Or is it the love we all have inside of us? Christ-love?"
Dhyan Mikael: Christ-love is a name for this impersonal energy that flows when we become empty. What we normally call love is when a man says to a woman, "I love you," and by that he means, "I think you're beautiful," or "I want to go to bed with you", or "I want you to marry me", something like that. But that's not love, that's some kind of wanting, some kind of desire, some kind of beauty, but at some point... at some point, when you start to stop looking out there and start looking for within; when you begin to love yourself and say "yes", first to the feelings, then to oneself and then automatically to all the rest. ... To the extent that we say more and more "yes" and accept, to that extent we somehow disappear. It sounds a bit esoteric now, but maybe you know what I mean. Then there begins to flow a love that has nothing to do with wanting nothing to do with desire, nothing to do with you as a person, you even know not where it comes from... and which also somehow has nothing to do with the other person. It's more like... like taking a bath in something.
So, it's definitely not my love, and I know that because I don't... You just said: "this is your love". That can't be because I feel the same love and enjoy it and bathe in it, right now. It's not mine. It's... yes... God's love. It has nothing to do with me. But we are human beings, and we feel that way. The disciple, he worships his guru because for him he is the source of love, unimaginable: he experiences a love and an acceptance and God.... And the guru knows exactly... or the master, he knows exactly: this has nothing to do with me. But for the student, it is. And that's because we're just people and for us it's easiest to experience that through another person. And then you sit... I sat with my master and bathed in his love. At some point I knew it wasn't "his" love, and yet it always still felt that way to me.
It's simply a very human thing. You don't have to worry too much about it esoterically. And at some point, it becomes your own experience, at some point this love then flows more and more within yourself, because you lose yourself more and more, and then it's clear anyway:" Yes, that's not my love. I don't know where it comes from, but it has nothing to do with me." But I like to pass it on. That's the most beautiful thing for me. I say at the end of my videos... I can't help it, I don't even know why I started this, but... I think from the first video, at the end I said, "I love you." And I can't help it, that's just the way it is. Someone says, "I love you," and I feel just as loved as you do. I always have the feeling: I say it to myself. So, enough about that. Thank you.
Swantje: Anwil writes: "Okay, thank you. Yes, the clinic is good for me, but the energy there is also heavy and exhausting. Some also have a very intrusive aura. How can I separate myself and stay with myself?"
Dhyan Mikael: Yes, I understand that well. It's really an art to be among other people and their energy... not to be weighed down by it. That's really something you have to learn to deal with. I still remember how I learned to do that. At the very beginning... it wasn't particularly elegant. You start to feel yourself and become more aware of what you need, and then you become painfully aware of what's spilling over from other people to you. And of course, you don't want that. And my advice is: do whatever you need to do to take good care of yourself. And that's sometimes very bumpy at the beginning. In the beginning, it's actually inevitable that you'll offend other people, perhaps unsettle or snub them a little. But you can't help it at the beginning.
I still remember how I learned to say "no". It was a revolution for me. I couldn't do it elegantly. I couldn't make sure that I expressed things in such a way that I didn't trample on the feet of others unnecessarily now. I was just totally happy that I could say "no" at all, or that I could somehow keep myself away from some things that I didn't want. And then, after a few years, you learn that, and then it all goes very elegantly, and the other people don't even realize that you take care of yourself. They don't realize that anymore, but in the beginning it's a bit awkward. I understand that. Two things help: one is to not talk unnecessarily. The others often pull you into conversations, and then it's not always easy to pull yourself out of them.
But we have a habit of saying unnecessary things and starting unnecessary conversations, and they don't stop. The others are so happy when they have you in conversation... Be as quiet as possible. And then you can use a few tricks. If something gets too much for you, you say, "Sorry, I have to go to the bathroom," and then you're gone. Or you say, "Ah, I've got a headache today", then you go to your room and you're alone. So, you can get quite creative. I'm in the company of other people... I'm also very sensitive, and I have to take really good care of myself, and I avoid most company, as best I can without offending or annoying the others somehow now. Try to be alone. Maybe there's a place where you can pray, even if you're not a Christian... Even if you have nothing to do with Christian prayers now, but just a place where it's allowed to be alone. Places like that are great: restroom, prayer room, your own room.... I recommend you approach this a bit playfully like a puzzle: "Okay, how do I get out of this mess now? These sticky people who won't let me go..." Maybe that will help you. And, as I said, it's not easy at first, this challenge you're facing right now. I know it too.
Swantje: Ella Bella asks: "Can everyone awaken? If so, how can we do it?"
Dhyan Mikael: Yes, everyone can awaken. And it's funny that you have to say that at all. We have... that comes from our Christian heritage. I don't know about you, but I always used to feel... The image of Jesus that I was given by the church, this whole kind of religion... I always had the feeling that Jesus was portrayed as a person who is actually not a person at all; who embodies something that has nothing to do with this world at all and which is not attainable for me. So, just the question of whether that would be attainable for me or not, that didn't come up at all. That was completely outside of any discussion, that wasn't the point at all. And that's the problem.
Jesus only ever said: "Look at me!" He said again and again: "Just as I am, so can you be." He said that every day. His way of saying it was, "I am the Son of Man, and I am the Son of God." He said, "I am man, like you." That's what he means by son of man. And: "I am the Son of God. I am awakened. I have arrived. I live in Heaven." He kept telling people that. He didn't say, "I'm a great saint, I'm unique." He says: "No, I'll show you what's possible." So, of course anyone can awaken, that's why we're alive. That's the purpose of this life. You have decided to be born again this time so that you finally discover who you really are; that you find that way inward; nurture your soul; and then, gradually, become who you already are, but just realize that. Sometimes I have this fantasy, it's as if we were a part of God, who deliberately makes himself completely oblivious, in order to enable himself to discover himself; to remember who he actually is, because otherwise he can't experience himself at all. So, it's a really funny game. So, anyone can do it.
And you ask: "How can you achieve that? How can you encourage that?" And it's like, I just started learning piano three weeks ago or something. Three weeks ago, I realized that I've been with a very great piano teacher, and that she could actually teach me to play the piano too. And that's what I'm doing now, and I'm having a blast. But what I'm practicing right now is: I'm not playing ditties. I'm doing finger exercises. And I'm a fanatic. I always want to do things right from the ground up. When I program a website, then I spend a long time on the things that you can't even see, because I know: if they're right, then the rest goes by itself. And it's the same with playing the piano. You do finger exercises for weeks... Maybe you think: "But I want to play songs. I want to learn a symphony. And the piano teacher, she knows what's important, and she lets you do these exercises. She gives you her patience and the right exercises.
And so it is with awakening. We want to awaken, and then we worry about the ego and how it all works and stuff. You can forget all that stuff. You don't need to know all that. I always like to say in my videos: "You don't have to worry about all this at all, it all happens by itself. It's a very natural process in this life." You don't worry as a child about how you get to puberty. You don't have to worry about what you have to do now to get it going; and you don't have to worry about how you're going to get out of puberty and grow up. These are all natural developments. And that at some point in your life you come to the point where you think: "There's something else! I want to discover that! I want to awaken. There is something...", that is also natural.
And yet, of course, you can do certain things to encourage that, but those are things that nobody wants to do. Everyone always wants to start with the symphony right away, but that doesn't work. And the people who start right away with the symphony or with very difficult piano pieces, they stop playing the piano again very quickly, because they are very frustrated, simply because it doesn't work. And when you wake up, it's exactly the same: everyone wants to feel holy or compassionate... we had it earlier about compassion. You become compassionate, but not by learning to feel compassionate, but by loving all the feelings that you don't want to have; with which have compassion... then you become compassionate. You practice something, so to speak, that you don't really want. But what you really want arises from that.
And so it is with the awakening. I talk in my videos.... I don't know if you've heard this yet.... I talk about the Samarpan- meditation. It's a very simple, beautiful meditation. It is magical. But you don't really know what you're doing. You just do this meditation for half an hour every morning, you don't feel particularly holy either, it doesn't get particularly quiet with most people either, but you learn something very important there. But you don't know that at the beginning. But very gradually you start to change. That which you would like to attain: the awakening, the arrival... I always say: Awakening is easy. This experience: "Wow, there's something else. Wow, there's a direction that I didn't know before. Wow, I'm not this body at all!" That's relatively easy. You get there very quickly.
But then... that this life transforms from a life in the madhouse to a life in Heaven... to a life without pressure, without the feeling of being the doer without the feeling of having to do something, having to be something.... and this transformation, it's a gradual transformation, and you can support it. For me, the best support I've found is this Samarpan Meditation, which I talk about so often. It's like this: I've told... I've been with my master Soham for 23 years; he taught me everything he could teach me. I learned to love myself I learned to love myself. I have learned to be compassionate with myself and with everyone else. I can say: I have learned acceptance. I didn't want anything more in life. I was just content, I was happy. And that took 17 years until I got to the point and I thought I've learned everything and I'm happy. And I was really more content and quieter and happier than all the people I knew except my Master Soham.
And then I got to know Samarpan Meditation, and that's when I realized: "Wow, there's a whole other level." And since then, I've been doing them, and since then my life has completely changed. But you practice something, and that's why I said before: nobody wants to do that... Everyone always wants to feel great right away, but that's not the way. You have to do your homework, very patiently, every morning, and then the rest really happens on its own. I could talk about meditation for an hour now, but I think that's beyond the scope now. I made a few videos about it. You can write me too, then I'll make another one about it if you want. But I think for now, for the live chat, it should be enough for now. But thanks for the question. It's a great question.
Swantje: Anwil writes: "Great, thanks for the tips."
Dhyan Mikael: Very much. Thank you for your question.
Swantje: And Hugo Snake asks: "Is meditation a path to enlightenment?"
Dhyan Mikael: Meditation... so, first of all you have to talk about what you actually mean by "meditation". When I speak of meditation, I mean Samarpan Meditation, and that is unique because that is the only meditation that I know where you really don't do anything at all and don't want anything. You sit down, close your eyes, and then you go with your attention here to the top of your head.... And that's quite funny: if you want to do that, if you go there with your attention, up there, then you can only do that if you don't think. Then you're up there for a second or two, and then you realize how your attention has slipped another floor lower, and then you think. And then you go back up there with your attention.
And then you realize: "Yes, I can only feel that up there if I don't focus my attention on my thoughts right now." And the thoughts, everything that is here one floor down on the level of the third eye, that is what we want and what we don't want, and what we want to become, enlightened for example. And meditation... this meditation is a way, to let go of all that. Samarpan means "surrender": To surrender, to completely surrender, to want nothing. That happens when you this seemingly so simple with attention going up here, when you do that.... You can only do that if you surrender for at least half a second, and everything you want and think and want and don't want, if you let it all go. And then you also let go of the desire for enlightenment and for all these ideas of how life could be. Everything. And through that you gradually come to know your own true nature, that which is called enlightenment.
Then you realize: "Wow, I have yes with all these things, which are one floor lower, in reality nothing to do at all. All the things that are always so important to me, my opinions, my wishes, my dreams, my goals, my feelings, how I feel about myself..." And then you slowly get to know something that you can't actually talk about at all... everyone has to discover that for themselves. You realize: "Ah, this is the direction where I discover myself." And then you set off on your journey. And meditation helps with that. Yes, that is the way.
Swamiji says, "There are two ways to attain liberation," and liberation is if you are no longer identified with this body and this world. He says, "The one thing is to renounce life, to go out of society, to be alone far away from all other people who think." That's one way. Then that takes a few decades, and then you find that, when you're in nature. But that's a very impractical way that very few people go. I would never have gone that way. That's not my path in this life.
And he says, "The second way is: meditate." That is the way for the people who prefer to stay in society; who don't give up everything and move into a cave. And the way is meditation. And I don't like to use the word "enlightenment" because only people who haven't experienced it themselves actually say that. It's not like that there's an event and once you've experienced it, you're a different person. That is a gradual, gradual development, a process; just like the process when you change from child to adolescent, from adolescent to adult and so on. I prefer to say that meditation is a way to discover one's true nature, and the more that happens, the more life transforms. And it starts with something you could call enlightenment that first realization, "Wow, there's really something else," but it has no end. It just keeps getting more wondrous and more new and more... you'll have to find out for yourself. Thank you. Thank you for your question.
Swantje: Christoper writes: "Dearest Mikael, I have practiced the Samarpan Meditation so far, as you recommend. Yesterday I participated in the group meditation on Zoom for the first time. It was great. Thank you very much."
Dhyan Mikael: Thank you, Christopher. Yeah, I don't talk about it as often as maybe I should, but part of this Samarpan Meditation is that in the morning, first thing in the morning, half an hour meditation. There are also people who don't do it in the morning, who do it during the day; it doesn't matter, the main thing is that you meditate. But I find it most beautiful in the morning. So, you meditate half an hour every day for yourself alone, and then you should also meditate once a week together with others, the communal meditation. And that is a very different experience, and both are beautiful, but both have a very different energy.
And I experience it like this: when I meditate with other people, it has a completely different quality. It's more challenging and more beautiful at the same time. And sometimes I meditate here with my wife alone together when no one else is here. There was another person there the other day, and just one more person, and already the meditation is deeper and bigger. That's fantastic. And the more people meditate, the easier it becomes for the individual. This shared meditation once a week is an infinite support for oneself. That's why I'm glad that you're reporting that you've experienced this for the first time now. I think that's great. Thank you, Christoper.
And I have a question that I got in writing, that would go with that. Swantje, I want to slip this in for a moment. One moment. The question is this:
"I always have a guilty conscience when I haven't gone to the meditation group again. I've been there a few times and I think it's nice, and the people are great, but I just don't have any motivation or attraction. Soham has often emphasized: if there's no attraction, then it's not the right thing. But Swamiji encourages us to meditate once a week in the group. But I just don't want to at the moment. I've already thought about stopping Samarpan Meditation altogether, because that is part of it. I want to do it completely or not at all."
I want to say something briefly about this because it just fits in so nicely. Meditating together in a group is incredibly helpful for everyone involved, but only if you want to. Forcing yourself to do something because it's supposedly good, even though you don't want to, that's not helpful. If you don't feel like it, my recommendation is don't do it. You know it would be good, but you don't want to right now. Okay, then don't it, it's your decision. You're free, you know. The last thing that's helpful: doing something because you know it's good, against your will. That doesn't work. Even if you know that it's your ego: it still doesn't work.
And it's really a trick of the mind. Because it says... it wants to stop you from meditating, and this is what it does, it says, "Okay, meditating is a great thing, and we're doing it right. We have to do it right well", only to say behind: "yes, but it doesn't work like that. I don't want that. That's too much. It's too complicated. I don't want to go into the group." The mind takes something very simple, just meditate, and then makes it complicated and then finds some reason why it's best not to do it at all. And that would be a real shame. And Swamiji who brings the meditation says one thing over and over again for a good reason. He says: "No matter how, just meditate. It doesn't matter how. No matter how, where, when, you don't need to do it well, you don't need to do it right, as long as you meditate. The other day someone asked him about meditation, how to do it best, and he said exactly that. He said: "These questions come to you only because in reality you do not want to meditate." And that's exactly what the questioner just wrote.
Our head is looking for some flimsy reasons why it's pointless to meditate anyway, because we can't do it properly. But there's no "right". Meditate somehow, in whatever way is possible for you. That’s enough. And when you give yourself this freedom, when you give yourself this permission to be as you are, then the pleasure and joy comes in the things that are really good for you. The then comes naturally. So don't force yourself to do anything, and meditate if you can. That's my recommendation. So, Swantje, now it's your turn again.
Swantje: Anbil writes: "I also find the Medi exciting. I read that there is an initiation. I find that a bit creepy. What is that exactly?"
Dhyan Mikael: yes, I know, that sounds totally creepy. But there's good news: soon I can do the initiation too. I always found it stupid that I talk about the Samarpan Meditation with great enthusiasm and then have to say to people: "Yes, but then you have to take part in another initiation", and I knew people wouldn't like that. And I understand it too. But soon I can do it myself, in a few weeks, and then I'll do it. Then I can also do an online event, if you are interested in Samarpan Meditation, and then I can explain it to you really nicely officially, and I'm really looking forward to it. Yes, this introduction to Samarpan Meditation... it's not an initiation, it has nothing to do with consecration... it's actually an information session, and it's basically totally harmless, and I've been through it many times, the first time was 6 years ago. I remember exactly where it was. It was really lovely; it was a beautiful event.
But I got there... Soham had contact with Swamiji, then a few people came from Swamiji came to us in the Satsang, and then we experienced this introduction with Soham in the Satsang, and it was just a totally great thing. And it was basically in our home, in Satsang, and that's why it wasn't scary for us at all. And that's why I can also say: it's a completely harmless, nice, interesting thing. It tells where the meditation comes from, how Swamiji got and found, and then we just talk briefly about what is important and helpful, and what is not; how the whole thing works. Actually, a very simple thing. But I also understand when you hear about the Samarpan Meditation from me or someone else, and then you are sent to some people you don't know, that sounds like you would have to become a member of some club or something. None of that is true, of course. But, like I said, I understand that, and if you feel uncomfortable listening to some people there, that you don't know, just wait a few weeks. And then if you like, you can listen to me, and I'm totally looking forward to offering my first introduction to Samarpan Meditation. Thank you.
Swantje: Ella Bella writes: "Yes, very much. I've tried the meditation a few times, but I can't do it in the morning. In the evening I tend to calm down and do my emotional exercises.
Dhyan Mikael: So, for me it's like this... I always take a very pragmatic approach. I'm an engineer, and I always tweak my daily routine so that I manage everything as I see fit. And I only get it done in the morning if I have enough time in the morning, and I only have more time for meditation in the morning if I go to bed earlier in the evening, and that's the secret. The secret is to go to bed earlier at night if you want to meditate in the morning. And since I don't watch TV or movies and don't do all that stuff, that does me a lot of good, so I can go to bed relatively early. As soon as the kids are in bed, I'm in bed too, sometimes I even sleep first, and then I just wake up, it's a bit different every morning.... I wake up between half past four and half past six every morning, and then I meditate. And it's like this: I can recommend you to try this once so that you can feel the difference. It's really like Swamiji says: it doesn't matter when you meditate, as long as you meditate.
But if you realize that you like meditation, then you can also play around with it a bit, because that's really interesting. For me now, I love to meditate as early as possible, because with every half hour that I meditate earlier, I notice how the meditation becomes even deeper and even more beautiful, even... Well, it's not that I'm bathing in beautiful feelings. I just realize: it's more effective, it takes me more where I belong. And that's because the world is still asleep. You may not know it, but you may feel it a little, how you are influenced by your surroundings, by the neighbors, by people's thoughts. You can feel that when you meditate. And when the world is still asleep, it is infinitely easier to meditate there.
At about 6 o'clock the world wakes up. I live out here in a tiny village. I live out here on the edge of the village, there's not much going on. There's nothing going on here at all, and yet I notice that here. When I wake up at 6 o'clock, I meditate from ten past 6 to a quarter to seven.... I love meditation no matter what, but it's a different meditation. If I wake up even half an hour earlier, it's already a different number. And sometimes, sometimes I have nights where I sleep very late and then meditate very late. But then I often wake up much earlier one night later, because I slept so much the night before, and then I sometimes wake up at 4 o'clock, that happened to me again a few days ago. And then meditating at 4, so that's awesome. That's so nice. And if you ever feel like playing with it... Maybe you have a week's vacation and have a little more time and can try it out, then you can experience it yourself. I just want to make your mouth water because it's really a difference, but the most important thing is that you meditate, no matter when. No matter when, in the evening is also okay. Thank you.
Swantje: Mikael, there's one more request to speak in the chat.
Dhyan Mikael: yes, gladly.
Swantje: Sandra writes: "How do I see through the behaviors of a narcissist and recognize his true nature without taking his unloving behavior personally? What do I have to learn from that?"
Dhyan Mikael: So, if you're trying to see through the narcissist, then you're actually on to him already. Your attention belongs to you. And you're probably concerned with how you can deal with the situation with such a person; how you can handle the situation so that you are okay, and the crucial is that your attention is with you; that you feel how you feel; that you sense what you have energy for and what you don't. If your attention is with you, then nothing can actually happen to you, whether the other person is a narcissist or not. But if you have the tendency that your attention is somewhere else, with the other person, and that's what of course we've all learned then it's hard. But the solution is always the same: your attention belongs to you, in you.
And that doesn't mean at all that you then completely ignore the other person and don't talk to anyone anymore. That's not what I mean at all. I mean: instead of having your antennas on the other person and finding out: "How does he feel now? What does he want now? What's he doing now?"... That's the wrong way, that's the completely wrong direction. Feel yourself. How am I doing? What do I want right now? How do I feel right now? Then you can dance much better with the other person because you know what you want; because you know how you feel. You don't need to tell the other person that at all. The other person doesn't need to know, you need to know.
And a person with a narcissistic disposition helps us, because it's actually impossible to deal with such a person. They're so cunning... I mean, they can't help it, they usually don't know anything about it, it's just their disposition. But actually, it's hopeless. The only thing that helps is that you learn what you've never learned before in your life: to keep your attention with you, no matter what the other person tries. You know, narcissism, it's about keeping the other person's attention on you and not letting it away from you. He lives from that. And that's why it's such a great help to learn exactly that.
But the root problem has nothing to do with the narcissist the root problem has nothing to do with the narcissist. The basic problem is that we all have never learned to be ourselves with our attention. We always learn to pay attention to others, to be considerate of others, and it is nothing wrong. But first of all, I need to know what I need; how I feel. I can best take care of myself because I can best feel how I am. And we've become such a sick society because of that... every society is sick in that sense... because nobody is allowed to look after themselves. That is driven out of us as children. And everyone always takes care of the other, and we can't do that because we don't know how the other really feels. But we try it. And that's why we're such a neurotic society.
So, we never learned... we were never allowed to learn and feel for ourselves. That is the basic problem. It has nothing to do with the narcissist at all. I don't care at all whether someone is narcissistic or not. I don't care about that at all. It doesn't affect me at all. I feel myself. And only if you can't do that, then people like that are a problem, and that's a great alarm bell, a great help to learn to stay with yourself. And then that serves you everywhere, not just with this one person. It serves you everywhere, in your whole life, in every relationship. Everything becomes easier when you learn to keep your attention on yourself and not worry about what the other person thinks of you; what the other person wants from you; what the other person says about you; and all this nonsense. Thanks for your question, great topic, I could talk about it forever, but that should be enough for tonight.
Swantje: I would like to finish by reading you the thanks from the chat.
Dhyan Mikael: Oh, we're through again! Oh, the time. Yes, please, I'd love that.
Swantje: The Dorotea writes: "Super, I'm looking forward to your initiation.
Dhyan Mikael: Great, I'm looking forward too.
Swantje: And Anwil thanks you.
Dhyan Mikael: Thank you.
Swantje: And Karin Anna: "Thank you, Mikael for your being.
Dhyan Mikael: Oh, thank you for your being. I'm glad you're here, and I'm glad you're all here. It's such a joy.
Swantje: And Martin writes: "Thank you very much, dear Mikael, for your loving impulses to self-love, acceptance, accepting all our feelings. So precious. Notice how I stress myself out with it in certain ways."
Dhyan Mikael: Yes, we do. We really stress ourselves, and when we stop, everything changes.
Swantje: And from Kiran, Ella Bella and Sunny and Naad a "thank you" too.
Dhyan Mikael: With pleasure.
Swantje: And from me too.
Dhyan Mikael: Yes, thank you, Swantje. Thank you for your reading. Thank you very much for your help. Thank you for being there. These live chats are such a joy for me. See you soon, all the best. I love you.