The Magic of a Yes out of Joy
How all problems instantly disappear.
We are convinced that change only happens when we want something different. I recommend the opposite, and it sounds absurd: to say yes with joy, to your heart attack, to your addiction, to everything. But precisely this is the key to life and to Heaven.
About this Video:
Basically, the spiritual path is one big imposition: everything you are supposed to do sounds completely absurd and nonsensical. An example of this is the advice to say 'yes' to the way things are and the way I feel. Yet we are absolutely convinced that change can only happen if we fight for it and want it. Saying yes seems to lead in exactly the opposite direction.
In this video it gets even worse, because I tell you that your yes is useless if it is not a yes out of joy. Yes to the heart attack, and with joy? Yes to addiction and all the problems – with joy? I can't blame anyone if they now turn away shaking their head. But those who stay and try it out for themselves will discover the great secret of life, of the spiritual path and of Heaven.
Links to the topics in this video:
(please find the complete transcript below)
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A Yes out of joy
Link to topic at 4m43s in transcript in video
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Only with a Yes you can meditate
Link to topic at 12m11s in transcript in video
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"I am a Holy Soul"
Link to topic at 19m05s in transcript in video
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Hope gets you down
Link to topic at 25m01s in transcript in video
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You are not a mother
Link to topic at 39m22s in transcript in video
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I have no idea about children
Link to topic at 44m20s in transcript in video
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The child is not wise
Link to topic at 49m15s in transcript in video
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Keep out or decide for the child?
Link to topic at 55m48s in transcript in video
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You don't stand a chance on your own
Link to topic at 1h04m22s in transcript in video
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Only misfits meditate
Link to topic at 1h11m00s in transcript in video
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Meditate, whether you want it or not
Link to topic at 1h13m33s in transcript in video
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Be true to yourself
Link to topic at 1h16m22s in transcript in video
Complete text for reading along:
Good morning.
I'm very happy that I can make another video this morning. I am very happy that you are here.
Today is the 1st of December. It's the First Advent – that's how we call it here in Europe.
And when these special days happen, it reminds me how quickly time passes. It's like: "What? Already another year passed?" Another year of this wonderful life... Yes. Today, in this video, I would like to share with you something which is incredibly helpful for me when it comes to meditating and living. In the last two videos... I made two videos lately where I talked about living without thoughts.
And in these videos, I shared a trick, a technique, which makes it much, much easier to be in peace with life and to being able to meditate. And today, I want to share with you another trick. I don't like the word 'trick' because it's much more than that. For me, it's more like a way of living, but it works like a trick: when you do this, immediately, everything gets easier.
And I want to tell you where I learned this trick from. If you know my videos, sometimes I share with you that I love to read in the writings of Swamiji. Swamiji is this Indian Guru who brings the Samarpan Meditation. And he wrote an autobiography, and he also publishes an English magazine every other month. And reading in these is so helpful for me, so inspiring. It's amazing. And about 10 days ago, I read something from him which totally astonished me. It totally touched me. It was two paragraphs I was reading, and since I read them 10 days ago, I haven't gone any further in reading.
Every evening, before I go to bed, I read. And every evening, I just reread the same two paragraphs over and over again. Since 10 days, I'm reading the same thing because it touched me so much. It's so profound. Although it is so simple, it's like I need to read it again and again to really take it in, to really believe what he says there. I mean, for me, it's not a matter of believing. I read this, I try it out, and I know: "Wow, this is amazing." But, still, I have to read it again and again and again because, in a way, it goes against everything we humans normally believe.
For me, it's not a matter of believing. I read this, I try it out, and I know: "Wow, this is amazing." But, still, I have to read it again and again and again because, in a way, it goes against everything we humans normally believe.
Link to quote in video at 4m04s
A Yes out of joy
Link to topic in video at 4m43s
But before I share this secret with you, I want to tell you one other thing.
It's not a secret I share with you – it's a trick. I'd want to share something else with you which I experienced lately, which I find very helpful. You know, over and over again, I tell you: the best way of living and the fastest way to come to Heaven is when you say 'yes' to everything, 'yes' to how it is in your life. 'yes' to the circumstances of your life, 'yes' to what happens in you, how you feel, 'yes' to how you are as a human being. But I don't mean a 'yes' out of desperation. I don't mean a 'yes' which you say because you have no other choice.
I don't talk about this forced 'yes'. I'm talking about a voluntary 'yes': a 'yes' with joy. And that's the trick I want to share with you today.
The best way of living and the fastest way to Heaven is when you say 'yes' to everything. But I don't mean a 'yes' out of desperation. I don't mean a 'yes' which you say because you have no other choice. I don't talk about this forced 'yes'. I'm talking about a voluntary 'yes': a 'yes' with joy.
Link to quote in video at 4m57s
If you can feel joy about what's happening in your life, no matter what it is, instantly, everything gets easier.
And I'm talking about the difficult things. I'm not talking about the nice things.
If you can feel joy about what's happening in your life, no matter what it is, instantly, everything gets easier.
And I'm talking about the difficult things. I'm not talking about the nice things.
Link to quote in video at 6m18s
And I'm also not talking about... You now, when I say joy, joyful, I don't mean anything outwardly visible. I'm not talking about a mood. I'm not talking about an emotion which you can share. I'm not talking about being happy and smiling or dancing with joy. Maybe you can do this, nothing wrong with it, but this is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about this very deep, very quiet, rather subtle base of your inner being.
It's like, down there, in this subtle base of your being, you have two choices. Usually, we deal with everything in a rejecting way, in a negative way. We check everything out: "Is this good? Is this bad for me? This is a problem!" Basically, we all have this subtle anxiety in us, and, in a subtle way, we fear everything and we reject everything which happens, and we want it different, and we want to be different ourselves. But there is another choice you have.
We all have this subtle anxiety in us, and, in a subtle way, we fear and reject everything which happens, and we want it different, and we want to be different ourselves. But there is another choice. You can also feel joy about everything that happens out there in your life and in yourself.
Link to quote in video at 8m06s
You can also feel joy about everything that happens out there in your life and in yourself. And this is what I'm talking about: this very quiet, subtle, basic, state you are in. Whether you display it outwardly or not, is a completely different story. With me, for instance, most people cannot see how I feel deep inside. For most people, I look like a grumpy guy. Mostly, I look indifferent or grumpy to people. But inside of me, I'm just in joy. I'm just totally happy. But you don't see it.
I want to suggest to you that you try something new: when something happens that you find difficult, to greet this with joy: "Ah, yes". To be happy about it. You don't know why you should be happy about this, you think this is a problem, this is bad, but it's happening anyway, and to then meet it with joy...
Link to quote in video at 10m05s
It's just the nature of my body, the nature of my face. Even when I was a child, I was looking very neutral or sad or very sober, whereas inside, I was often totally joyful, but it didn't show on the outside. And it is like this to this day. But that doesn't matter. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the very deep, quiet, basic feeling you have in your life. Yes. And I want to suggest to you that you try something new: when something happens that you find difficult, to greet this with joy: "Ah, yes".
To be happy about it. You don't know why you should be happy about this, you think this is a problem, this is bad, but it's happening anyway, and to then meet it with joy... And it's amazing. When you do this, you feel like everything in you opens up. Then you're open to everything – not only to the situation, but to everything, to God's energy. And when you have the normal state where you are closed, where you think: "No, I don't want this. This is difficult. Why isn't it different?", then you're closed.
It's amazing. When you do this, you feel like everything in you opens up. Then you're open to everything – not only to the situation, but to everything, to God's energy. And when you have the normal state where you are closed, where you think: "No, I don't want this", then you're closed not only to the situation at hand, but also to everything else.
Link to quote in video at 10m59s
And you're not only closed to the situation at hand, but you're also closed to everything else. You see, you can't be open to one thing and closed to another thing. Either you're open or you're closed. And when you meet your difficult situations with joy, then you are open, and then, the help of the Heavens come to you, then God is in you, then you get energy, then you get help. And that's the big secret of life: this openness.
You can't be open to one thing and closed to another thing. Either you're open or you're closed. And when you meet your difficult situations with joy, then you are open, and then, the help of the Heavens come to you, then God is in you, then you get energy, then you get help. And that's the big secret of life: this openness.
Link to quote in video at 11m37s
Only with a Yes you can meditate
Link to topic in video at 12m11s
And I keep repeating that the spirit spiritual path is an emotional path. And what I mean by that is that what counts is how you feel deep inside. It's not about what you think. It's easy to think thoughts of openness. It's easy to think: "I say 'yes' to this", but how you feel is something completely different. Forget what you think. This is not the important part. It's about how you feel about something, and that's what I'm talking about.
Meet life, meet yourself, meet the feelings in you, and meet how you are with joy, especially when it's difficult for you. This will change everything for you.
It's easy to think thoughts of openness: "I say 'yes' to this". But how you feel is something completely different. Forget what you think. It's about how you feel. Meet life, meet yourself, meet the feelings in you, and meet how you are with joy, especially when it's difficult for you. This will change everything for you.
Link to quote in video at 12m21s
It this will revolutionize your life, and I really mean it. I really mean it totally practically.
I have one friend, and he had medical problems with his body since many, many years, severe medical problems. He is busy with the health of his body since many years. And I kept telling him again and again: "Say 'yes' to how it is for you. Say 'yes'. Don't fight it. Don't wish it to be different. Say 'yes' to it." And now he just wrote to me a few days ago that he had a severe heart attack, and he's in hospital.
And this is the situation I'm talking about. If you find yourself in such a situation where something happens, where everybody around you, including the doctors, think and feel that this is something terrible and a tragedy and that this shouldn't happen, I suggest to you that you meet this with joy in your heart: that's a true 'yes'. This is a 'yes' with your being, when you do this with joy.
He had a severe heart attack, and he's in hospital. And if you find yourself in such a situation where everybody around you thinks that this is something terrible and a tragedy, I suggest to you that you meet this with joy in your heart: that's a true 'yes'. This is a 'yes' with your being, when you do this with joy.
Link to quote in video at 14m16s
And everybody in your life will tell you the opposite.
But when you can meet this situation you are in right now with joy, then something deeply relaxes. All the anxiety goes away. You become open, and your life will change.
But when you can meet this situation you are in right now with joy, then something deeply relaxes. All the anxiety goes away. You become open, and your life will change.
Link to quote in video at 15m26s
I have another friend. She drinks alcohol. Since many, many years, she is drinking. And, of course, she tried to stop, and, of course, she thinks it's wrong. And I kept telling her: "say 'yes' to it. Accept it."
And just lately, she tried to stop. She really felt like she just doesn't want to drink anymore. She wants to stop. And now she wrote to me that she just started drinking again. And this situation, when you are like this, to say 'yes' to yourself and to this with joy in your heart... when you are happy about it. You don't know why you should be happy. Everything in you thinks this is wrong. Everything in you thinks this should be different. But instead, meeting it with joy, this addiction, this urge... try it out. This will kill all the negativity in you. It will change your life.
She just started drinking again. And when you are like this, to say 'yes' to yourself with joy in your heart... when you are happy about it. You don't know why you should be happy. Everything in you thinks this is wrong. But instead, meeting it with joy, this addiction, this urge... try it out. This will kill all the negativity in you. It will change your life.
Link to quote in video at 16m25s
But what all this is really about is meditation. What all this is really about is you coming closer to yourself, to your true self. You see, I'm talking about these things on the outside. I'm talking about how to deal with these difficulties you encounter in your life for only one reason: so you can develop this 'yes', because when you have this 'yes' in you, when you are at peace, then you can meditate. Then you can let all these things in your life be the way they are, and you can turn inwards, and you can meditate. And that's when the real miracles happen.
That's the benefit of you coming to peace with everything in your life: then you can meditate, and that's the only thing which counts. This when you start to develop this inner relationship with yourself, a self you don't know anything about right now.
"I am a Holy Soul"
Link to topic in video at 19m05s
And now I want to come to this what I mentioned earlier, this what I read from Swamiji, and it's about the meditation.
You know, when you do the Samarpan Meditation, in the beginning, you say a very short and simple mantra, and the mantra goes like this: "I am a Holy Soul. I am a Pure Soul."
That's it, and you repeat this 3 times. And after you said this mantra to yourself, you speak it out loud 3 times, then you rest with your attention in the crown chakra, and then you sit there for half an hour, and you meditate like this.
And Swamiji now says the following, and this is what I was reading and what was capturing me so much. He says: when you say this, you must feel this, you must know this: "I am a Holy Soul. I am a Pure Soul." Normally, you feel something totally different. You feel, "I'm a policeman. I'm a doctor. I'm a teacher. I'm a mother. I'm a father. I have responsibility."
Or you feel, "I'm a partner and I must be a better partner or I'm a bad partner."
Or you feel, "I'm German" or "I'm American" or "I'm Indian".
Or you feel "I'm a man" or "I'm a woman".
And with each and every one of these identities come all kinds of thoughts and burden.
But when you meditate, this mantra reminds you of the truth: you are not this body. You existed before this body came into existence. You will exist when this body does not exist anymore. And all these things, all these identities, your job, your profession, your role in the job, your role in the partnership, in the family, your gender, your nationality, all this is only related to the body. Your thoughts, your wishes, your dreams, your hopes, this is all related to the body. It has nothing to do with you.
When you meditate, this mantra reminds you of the truth: you are not this body. You existed before this body. You will exist when this body does not exist anymore. Your job, your role in the family, your gender, all this is only related to the body. Your thoughts, your wishes, your dreams, your hopes, this is all related to the body. It has nothing to do with you.
Link to quote in video at 21m26s
And when you meditate... You know, it's like there are 2 levels in life. The one is the physical level. That's what I was just talking about. But then there's another level, that's the soul level, and that's the true level. This physical level comes and goes. It's not real.
And then there's the second level, the soul level, and that's the level which is eternal. And when you meditate, what you really do is that you turn with your attention to this soul level, to that which is eternal. And when you want to do this, you must forget all the other things, and then it's easy. And you will discover this when you meditate.
This physical level comes and goes. It's not real. And then there's the second level, the soul level, and that's the level which is eternal. And when you meditate, what you really do is that you turn with your attention to this soul level, to that which is eternal.
Link to quote in video at 22m41s
You remember: you are a holy soul. You rest with your attention in the crown chakra. But in no time, there come all kind of thoughts about your job, about your partnership, about difficulties in life, about diseases. It's all connected with one of these identities. It's all connected with this physical level. But when you really forget this for this half an hour where you meditate, then it's like you're free, and then you can rise up to the soul level.
You meditate. You remember you are a holy soul. But in no time, there come all kind of thoughts about your job, partnership, about difficulties in life. It's all connected with this physical level. But when you really forget this for this half an hour where you meditate, then it's like you're free and you can rise up to the soul level.
Link to quote in video at 23m12s
You just forget all these things. I'm not a partner. I'm not a husband. No, I'm not a wife. I'm not a doctor.
I'm not a body. I'm a holy soul. I'm a pure soul and nothing but soul.
Try this when you meditate. It makes it so much easier.
Hope gets you down
Link to topic in video at 25m01s
And now I would like to read out a few emails and answer questions of these emails. And there, it's the same.
I can answer these emails on the physical level when it is about the situation, and what to do there, and how to deal with it, but it's always also connected to this second level, to the soul level. Let me read the first email.
"I'm in my mid-thirties, and I have a son with my partner who is now four years old. When the little one was about one year old, I felt the desire to have another child. Unfortunately, my partner, who is almost 15 years older than me, doesn't share this desire with me. He already has one older son from his previous relationship and doesn't want any more children. He justifies this by saying that he's already older and that he finally wants some peace and quiet in his life and doesn't want to put up with the screaming of children in the early years.
It has to be said that both his older son and our child together screamed a lot when they were babies or toddlers. And even now, there are still many stressful situations with our son. He has quite a strong character. And I can understand my partner to some extent, but I am still disappointed. When we first met, I asked him quite early on whether he could imagine having children with me as I had always wanted children, and I didn't want to get into a relationship where there was no desire to have children. And back then, he said that he loved children and that he could definitely imagine it.
And now he doesn't want a second child with me. It's very difficult for me to accept that I won't have another child, especially as almost everyone around me has at least two children, and someone is always getting pregnant again. I try to be happy for these families, and yet that's exactly when I feel a lot of pain. I know that I should let this pain be there and feel it, and yet I can't manage to come to terms with it. But I realize how I keep hoping that it might still work out somehow, and that really gets me down."
Thank you for your letter. I'm very touched. Yes, you mentioned exactly these two levels I was talking about earlier.
There's the situation with your partner, your desire to have children. He doesn't want this anymore. And now you have a problem, now you have a conflict. And you feel this hope that it might change, and you feel the wish that it should change, and you say yourself: this is getting you down. And that's the truth. What's getting you down, what's making it so difficult and so painful for you is not that you will not have a second child with this man. What's so difficult and so painful is that you want it different.
What's making it so difficult and so painful for you is not that you will not have a second child with this man. What's so difficult and so painful is that you want it different.
Link to quote in video at 28m54s
And now you have two choices... You have one choice, two possibilities: you can wish for it to be different, and then you will suffer, or: you accept the situation as it is.
And now you have two possibilities: you can wish for it to be different, and then you will suffer, or: you accept the situation as it is.
Link to quote in video at 29m24s
And to accept it with joy... You don't know why you should accept it. You don't know what it's good for. You don't know why life gives you a partner who doesn't want to have another child with you. You thought this life is about having children, and you thought this will make you happy, and you thought you have the partner for this, and now you find out that this is different. And you don't know why it is like this.
You don't know why this should be good. But despite you not knowing this, you can say 'yes' to it with joy. You can say: "I don't know. I don't understand." You can say, "God, Life, I don't understand, but I say 'yes' with joy." That's a true 'yes'. When you say 'yes' because it is like this and you have no other choice anyway, then this doesn't help you anything. Then you have a grudge in you anyway. But when you say 'yes' with joy, everything changes.
Try that.
It's enough when you try once, for two seconds, and, immediately, you will know what I'm talking about.
When you say 'yes' because it is like this and you have no other choice anyway, then this doesn't help you anything. Then you have a grudge in you anyway. But when you say 'yes' with joy, everything changes. Try that. It's enough when you try once, for two seconds, and, immediately, you will know what I'm talking about.
Link to quote in video at 30m52s
But, also, when we go on the practical level, on the physical level... You wish your partner would feel different, but you know that it's not about pressuring him into this. You know that the only thing which would work for you is if he would want it out of himself, voluntarily. When he would have openness for this, then it would work for you. But since this openness is not there, there is nothing you can do.
You could try to pressure him. You could try to talk to him. It's very easy for a woman to exert emotional pressure on a man, and, often, that even works because the man is helpless. But this would not be good, and you know it. You know: the only thing which would be good is if he, out of himself, would be open for this. And since this is not the case, there is nothing you can do, and there's nothing he can do either.
I want to tell you a little bit about my own life because I am exactly like your partner.
I'm 16 years older than my partner, than my wife.
And when we got together, I think, 8 years ago, she already had 2 kids, and I never promised her to have a child with her. It was clear for me that I did not want to have more children.
But about two years ago, I guess, there was a time when she felt that the soul of another baby was knocking at her door, and it was a very profound experience for her. And she came to me, and she shared this with me, and she asked: "Are you willing? Are you open? I feel this soul wants to come, this energy, as another child."
And I went inside, I checked it out, and it was totally clear for me that I do not feel any openness for this. And it was difficult for me to be true to myself. What my partner, what she experienced, and what she shared with me touched me deeply. And at the same time, I felt totally clearly that I don't have an openness to be the father for this soul, and that's what I told her.
And I never thought about why I don't want this. I never thought about why I am not open for this. I'm much older than her, and I don't have a problem with screaming children. Actually, I don't have a problem with it at all. I can be very patient with kids. But I didn't think about it at all.
It was enough for me just to feel clearly: "No, I don't feel openness". I don't have to know why I don't feel openness. The only important thing is to feel: am I open or not, and then, to try to be true to that. You know, your partner says he doesn't want other more children because he wants his peace and quiet now at his age, and he doesn't want the screaming, But, in reality, he doesn't know.
He doesn't know why he doesn't want this. But he needs these justifications for himself so he can justify his own feelings, and he needs them with you, so he has some sort of explanation. Most people have a very hard time just saying: "Hey, listen. I don't know why, but I don't feel open for this. I'm sorry." Usually, people need some sort of explanation, but the explanation is never true, and the explanation is not needed.
And it's easier for you if you don't try to explain it, because then your mind will get hung up on these explanations, and then you will think about it: "maybe the child doesn't scream ", and "why is it such a big deal for him that the child screams". But all these things never were the actual issue. The only thing which counts is: is there openness or not? And you know this.
I never thought about why I don't want this and why I am not open for this. It was enough for me just to feel clearly: "No, I don't feel openness". I don't have to know why I don't feel openness. The only important thing is to feel: am I open or not, and then, to try to be true to that.
Link to quote in video at 35m49s
You know you have no choice. I know that you know because I can read it in your letter.
So don't think about these justifications, what your partner said. Don't think about what he told you years ago when he said he's open for more children. That's the past. That's totally irrelevant.
And accept the situation with joy.
You are not a mother
Link to topic in video at 39m22s
You see, it is like this. You believe that you are in this life to be a mother and to have children, and in some way, this is true. This is our role as human beings, to father and to mother children. This is a very important and very holy task. But the purpose of your life as a soul is something completely different. And having children, as fulfilling as it is for a mother, is not what really makes you happy, and you know this too already.
You believe that you are in this life to be a mother and to have children, and in some way, this is true. This is a very important and very holy task. But the purpose of your life as a soul is something completely different. Having children, as fulfilling as it is for a mother, is not what really makes you happy, and you know this too already.
Link to quote in video at 39m22s
And maybe you wonder: "why is it that life does this to me? Why does life give me the desire for more children and, at the same time, a partner who doesn't want children?"
And the reason is that life teaches you to let go of this physical level. Life teaches you to say 'yes' with joy, to say 'yes' voluntarily, with your whole being, because then you become open, and with this openness, with that you can discover who you really are. You can discover your soul. You can start to live on this soul level. And that's where you find happiness. That's where you find the true purpose of this life.
Life teaches you to say 'yes' with joy, to say 'yes' voluntarily, with your whole being, because then you become open, and with this openness, you can discover who you really are. You can discover your soul. You can start to live on this soul level. And that's where you find happiness. That's where you find the true purpose of this life.
Link to quote in video at 40m31s
And that has nothing to do with being a mother and nothing to do with children. That's what you learn when you meditate. I mentioned earlier this this hint from Swamiji. When you meditate, you turn inwards. You remember: "Oh, wow. In reality, I am a soul. I am not a mother. I am not a father. I am not even a woman. I am not even a man. I am not even a body. I am not even a human being. I am a soul."
When you meditate, you turn inwards. You remember: "Oh, wow. In reality, I am a soul. I am not a mother. I am not a father. I am not even a woman. I am not even a man. I am not even a body. I am not even a human being. I am a soul."
Link to quote in video at 41m30s
And all these things in life happen because the purpose of this life is to teach you that, to teach you to turn to that one thing which is essential: your soul.
And all these things in life happen because the purpose of this life is to teach you that, to teach you to turn to that one thing which is essential: your soul.
Link to quote in video at 42m17s
And in the life of every person, there are one or two issues which are totally important for that person. And for women, often it's relationship and children. For men, often it's success and other things.
And then, exactly in those areas which are so important to you, where you are convinced, this is important for my fulfillment and for my happiness, in those areas of your life, things go wrong – seemingly wrong. It's in those areas where you experience that life is wrong. Life goes the wrong way.
Life is mean to you, and you don't understand why. And it's exactly because of this; because life teaches you, through this, to let go anyway, to say 'yes' anyway. And then, finally, you will become able to discover your true purpose in life, to discover who you really are, and to find the true happiness.
Thank you for your letter. Thank you.
I have no idea about children
Link to topic in video at 44m20s
Now I would like to talk about another subject. The next two emails will be also about very practical questions about children.
The last email was about the wish to have another child, but now the next 2 emails are about very practical issues which arise when you have children. And before I read out these emails, I would like to mention something. You know, I, as a man, experience in my partnership with my partner and with her children that I don't know anything about children. I am really incompetent.
And these emails, one of them, the one which I will read out next, it's waiting for my answer since over half a year. When I got it, I wanted to answer immediately, but I couldn't.
I received other emails about children, and I couldn't answer, and I didn't know why. But now, now I know why. Lately, it became so clear to me that I don't know anything about how to deal with children on this practical level. I can talk to you about this other aspect of the situation, about the soul aspect, but when it comes to the practical, nitty gritty advice concerning children, I have to say: I don't know anything. And I have the great fortune to have a wife who is the opposite. She really is wise with her children.
I've never ever experienced something like this in my life. She is so loving, so accepting with the children, always there for them, but at the same time, she's wise. She's meditating since over 25 years. And with this wisdom, she's dealing with her children, with the wisdom of a meditator and with the wisdom of a woman. And me, as a man, I watch her every day, how she deals with all these issues with the children every day. And every day, I stand there with my mouth open, thinking: "Wow.
I couldn't have come up with this. I would have reacted totally different. I would have handled this totally differently" – in a much worse way, of course. And since I experience this every day, over and over again, I know: I don't know shit about this. So, I am happy to answer your questions about children, and you can write to me, but for the practical advice, ask my wife.
And, funny... this is why I mentioned it now, in this video. She actually wants to... Slowly, slowly, she realizes that she has some experience, she has some knowledge which is worth passing on to other women, to other mothers, and she wants to start this. She wants to... I don't know what she will do. She doesn't know how to do it.
She doesn't know how to bring this into the world, but I know she's open, and if you feel lust for this, contact her and ask her for the practical advice. She's really good. So, if you want this, write to me, and I will give you her contact information. So, this being said, let me read the first email about these practical children's issues.
The child is not wise
Link to topic in video at 49m15s
"I have been asking myself for a long time how I should deal with my three-year-old daughter's consumption of sweets. In Satsang, you say, on the subject of addiction, that you shouldn't change anything but that you should meditate or be fully aware of it. How do I apply this to my daughter's addictive behavior with sweets? She craves something sweet every hour.
Surely, I'm responsible for my daughter and I can't give in to that. Or can I? Of course, I could ban all sweets from the house, but what if we go out, or what if she goes to the grandparents every day and asks there? I'm really desperate because, of course, I want her to eat healthily. Can you give me some advice? With deepest gratitude."
Thank you for your question. Your question really inspired me. Since half a year, because of your question, I am learning what I don't know, and that's very good for me.
Thank you for your question. Your question really inspired me. Since half a year, because of your question, I am learning what I don't know, and that's very good for me.
Link to quote in video at 50m17s
So, let me first answer this what I am competent about. I can tell you: yes, you are right. It is your job to guide your child and to protect your child. You're right. I say, when it comes to addiction: "Accept how it is. Say 'yes' to it. Don't try to change, but meditate." But I tell you this as an adult. I don't tell this to children. This is nothing children can do. Children are totally helpless with these addictions. They have no strength against this by themselves.
Children do make their own experiences, and here with the children in our house, I can see this beautifully. It is possible to give children the chance to experience what's good for them and to experience what's bad for them, but they need a lot of framework for this, a lot of guidance. If you leave them alone with this, they drown.
Children are totally helpless with addictions. They have no strength against this. Children do make their own experiences. It is possible to give children the chance to experience what's good for them and to experience what's bad for them, but they need a lot of framework for this, a lot of guidance. If you leave them alone with this, they drown.
Link to quote in video at 51m12s
This might not be true to every child. There are children who are really strong. There are children who discover all this by themselves. But not every child is like this. Actually, very rare children are like this. Usually, it's important for children to have the mother and her wisdom to help them deal with this. This is my experience. This is what I see.
How to apply this wisdom, what to really do practically, there you need to ask somebody else. But what I can tell you is: yes, this is your job. It's not good if you leave your child alone with this. It's not good to believe that your child will find its way all by him- or herself. In my experience, what I see, this is not the case for most children. But there is a way to give the child the opportunity to learn by itself, to make its own experiences, to discover what's good, to discover what's bad. But this requires a lot of protection, a lot of wisdom by the mother.
There is a way to give the child the opportunity to learn by itself, to make its own experiences, to discover what's good, to discover what's bad. But this requires a lot of protection, a lot of wisdom by the mother.
Link to quote in video at 53m16s
And here... my wife told me exactly about the same situation like you described. For years, she was living in the same street like the grandparents, and my wife was always looking to deal with the children in a very natural, very healthy way. And when the children went over to the grandparents, that was exactly the opposite: very old school, very traditional, tons of sweets. The children get spoiled rotten with the things which are not good for them.
What to do in this situation? How to deal with this situation so that children are respected, are loved, and yet taken care of? That's your job, and it's an important job. And it's a job which requires a lot of experience and a lot of knowledge and a lot of wisdom. So, I encourage you: take on this job. It's your responsibility, you're right. This is your holy responsibility as a mother: to learn this. But I cannot teach you this.
As I said: for the practical advice, ask my wife, if you like.
Keep out or decide for the child?
Link to topic in video at 55m48s
And there's another email about a rather similar issue. "I love your videos, and I really enjoy following you. Now I have a question about my son. As parents, we always try to do everything we can to ensure that our children have as good a life as possible, especially when they are young. My son is eight. Sometimes, he comes home from school frustrated and someone has called him names or even assaulted him physically.
You say we should say 'yes' to what's happening. I understand that for myself. But how do I behave with someone I'm protecting? I have to intervene and do something. Or how do I you see it? In the same way, if my son surrounds himself with other children who I think are not good for him, is that also his way and I stay out of it? Or do I intervene and decide for him?"
Thank you. Thank you for your courage to write to me about this.
Yes, it is your responsibility to protect your child. But how to do it? This is the question.
It is not good when you leave your child alone in this situation. When I say: say 'yes' to everything, I mean that you, as an adult person, say 'yes' to how it is for you. Something scares you: feel the fear. Let the fear be here.
It doesn't mean that you don't do, practically, that what you can do to improve the situation. When you stand with naked feet on hot stones and it burns your feet, you jump away and you go to somewhere where it's cold. That's natural. But then, you feel that you burnt feet, and you say 'yes' to this, and that's how learning happens.
Learning doesn't happen by you saying, "Oh, I was stupid and I shouldn't do this." No. Learning happens by saying 'yes' to how it is for you, and your feet got burned. And when you do this, when you happily and openly feel that what you experience, then you will learn, and your life will improve so quickly.
Maybe you walk... I once had this. I was rather young, and I was walking down the street, and, suddenly, I felt alarmed. I felt totally alarmed. There were 3 young men approaching me, and I knew: they are trouble. And I was very young, I was 14 or so.
Now, when I say "say 'yes' to everything", it doesn't mean to stay in the situation when you can get out. If you can, just totally naturally, turn into another street and walk another way. If you can do this, you can try.
But you say 'yes' to your feeling of anxiety. You say 'yes' to your feeling of being alarmed, and with this comes energy, and with this comes the wisdom how to deal with the situation. But, for me, in that situation, I couldn't get out of it. I stayed in it. I was walking towards these 3 young men, and I knew: if I would do anything now, if I would turn around or if I would run away, that would be terrible.
I felt this. I felt my fear. I was feeling totally insecure and alarmed and unsafe, but I saw no way out, so I stayed in that situation, with these feelings, I don't know where this wisdom came from, and I was in it. And these guys actually were troublesome. They stopped me. They wanted to mess with me. They wanted to start beating me up.
But, somehow, I had this 'yes' in me to the situation as it was, I was totally present, and nothing happened. But if I would have felt the possibility to do something, I would have done something, but I couldn't. I knew I couldn't do anything. So, it's not about you turning away from your child, thinking, "I don't have to take care of this. Let him experience whatever he wants in school. It will be okay."
No. You are with your child. Listen to him. Feel with him.
And it's your responsibility to find ways to support him with his challenge: with the challenge of his feelings, and with the practical situation in school.
But how to do this practically? I could tell you a few things, but there are other people who are so much wise about this. And since I'm living with one of those people, I rather shut up about that. Ask her. She knows better.
But just you knowing it's your responsibility, that will change things for you. And I guess this is your actual question. Yes, this is a holy job you have as a mother. Yes, it's your wisdom. Your wisdom knows what's good for the child. And the more you can say 'yes' to everything in your life, the more you can say 'yes' to your own feelings and insecurities, to your own helplessness, the more open you become to the actual wisdom that will guide you there.
Your wisdom knows what's good for the child. And the more you can say 'yes' to everything in your life, the more you can say 'yes' to your own feelings and insecurities, to your own helplessness, the more open you become to the actual wisdom that will guide you there.
Link to quote in video at 1h02m53s
But you can't tell an eight-year-old: "just say 'yes' and feel your feelings". I can tell you, but you can't tell this to a child. You can teach the child to feel the feelings, that's possible. You can be there with the child, so the child doesn't have to do this alone. And you can discover ways how the child can deal with the school situation. That's your job.
You can't tell an eight-year-old: "just say 'yes' and feel your feelings". I can tell you, but you can't tell this to a child. You can teach the child to feel the feelings, that's possible. You can be there with the child, so the child doesn't have to do this alone.
Link to quote in video at 1h03m25s
Thank you for writing to me.
You don't stand a chance on your own
Link to topic in video at 1h04m22s
And I have one more email I would like to answer today. This email is not about children. This email now is about the meditation and about life. "In April 2022, I wanted to celebrate my birthday in the corona year in a special way, and I found, I have no idea how, a silent retreat in Hübenthal" (that's a retreat place here in Germany). "As it turned out, it was given by a Guru called Soham", (who is my spiritual Master), "who was completely unknown to me at that time. It was his last retreat. I had never had any contact with such people before.
A lot happened in me in this community. The full moon meditation was incredible. I took the Samarpan Meditation with me into my everyday life, but after six months, it was all gone. I visited the Cologne meditation group once, but nothing spoke to me anymore, and I simply no longer have the continuity within me to make friends with Samarpan Meditation. It's like cursed. I would have the time for it. But in the morning, after lying awake for a while, I prefer to get up and go about my everyday life, and then the doing begins."
Thank you so much for your letter. Yes, this is how it is. You feel in you: "Ah, this is good." You know: it would be good for you to meditate. Otherwise, you wouldn't write to me. If you wouldn't know this deep down, you would just forget about it. But you know: this is it. And yet, there are other powers in you which just carry you away in a completely different direction.
And it is like this: when you meditate, you actually do something which is contrary to anything every other person in this world does. Normally, people are outside, out there, with their attention, and, normally, people believe that all the things out there, that's what's important. That's what I need to take care of: my job, making money, having a career, taking care of old age, taking care of security. And there's nothing wrong with taking care of these things if you can, and if it's fun for you. But this is not the important part, but nobody knows this.
People believe that's what's important: job, money, career, security, and there's nothing wrong with these things, but this is not the important part. When you start meditating, it's like you go against the stream, against the energy of the people around you, and what you experience shows how difficult this actually is. You can't do it alone.
Link to quote in video at 1h07m07s
And now, when you start meditating, it's like you go against the stream. You go against the energy of all the other people around you, and what you experience now shows you how difficult this actually is. You can't do it alone. That's why you need some other people to support you. That's why, for some people, the connection with the Guru is so important and so helpful, because that's what gives them the energy to stick with what they know is important for them, despite living in a world which goes exactly the opposite way.
That's why I make videos: to give you the inspiration and the strength, again and again and again, so you can stay on your path, so you can keep meditating every day, despite living in a world which thinks that what you do is totally stupid and nonsense and a waste of time. It's not that you need to know or hear from me once what's good and then, you go your own way and you do this. I don't make videos over and over and over again because I tell you something new. No. I tell you the same thing again and again.
That's why I make videos: to give you the inspiration and the strength, again and again, so you can stay on your path, so you can keep meditating every day, despite living in a world which thinks that what you do is totally stupid and nonsense and a waste of time.
Link to quote in video at 1h08m15s
But as you experience, when you live in a normal world, you need this constant reminder. You need this constant encouragement. That's just the way it is. I need this too, you know. And one kind of support is a meditation group. I meditate together with other people in a meditation group twice a week. Last week, it was only once a week, I didn't manage the second time, but at least once a week, I managed. And it's such a support for me. This contact with other meditators, it gives you the energy to carry on, in a world which believes in all the other things.
And one kind of support is a meditation group. I meditate in a meditation group twice a week, and it's such a support for me. This contact with other meditators, it gives you the energy to carry on, in a world which believes in all the other things.
Link to quote in video at 1h09m20s
And a really great support for me is to read in the scriptures of Swamiji. This also gives me this focus on the inside, this focus on the essential, every day, again and again. I don't read much. Sometimes, a few minutes in the morning; every night, a few minutes before I fall asleep. But this does something to me. This reminds me and encourages me every day.
And that's why Swamiji says that it's essential that you meditate in a group – if possible, once a week, at least once a month – so you stay connected with this energy. You say that nothing spoke to you in this meditation group in in Cologne.
Only misfits meditate
Link to topic in video at 1h11m00s
You know, you do collective meditation in a group not because you like these people so much, but to get the support. That's what I was just talking about. So, you go there and you meet all these people, and they're probably just as funny as you are. You don't go there because you particularly love these people.
You don't go there to have a cup of tea with them and to strike up a friendship with them. I mean, if this happens, this is wonderful, and sometimes it happens, but this is not the essential purpose of a meditation group. The purpose of a meditation group is to help you stay on your path despite living in a society where nobody does what you do.
And you can't do it alone.
You don't go there because you particularly love these people, to have a cup of tea with them and to strike up a friendship. If this happens, wonderful, but this is not the essential purpose of a meditation group. Its purpose is to help you stay on your path despite living in a society where nobody does what you do. And you can't do it alone.
Link to quote in video at 1h11m20s
You know, it's like this; only very rare people start this path to the inside. They are what Jesus called the black sheep: the misfits, the wrong ones. Only those people start meditating. So, when you go to a meditation group, that's exactly this kind of people you meet there: strange people, wrong people, outcasts, black sheep. And I tell you what: you are one of them, too. You know, it's funny. I think everybody thinks of themselves as "I'm normal."
Only very rare people start this path to the inside. They are what Jesus called the black sheep: the misfits, the wrong ones. Only those people start meditating. So, when you go to a meditation group, that's exactly this kind of people you meet there: strange people, wrong people, outcasts, black sheep. And I tell you what: you are one of them, too.
Link to quote in video at 1h12m06s
That's how it is for me. I feel totally normal. I feel like I'm a total normal person, like everybody else. And when I say this, other people laugh at me. They say, this is not true at all. You're a total weirdo. You're totally different. But I don't know this. I think I'm normal. So, you go there to the meditation group. You see all these weird people. You think, what should I do with them? You don't know that you are just like them – but you are.
You go there to the meditation group. You see all these weird people. You think, what should I do with them? You don't know that you are just like them – but you are.
Link to quote in video at 1h13m15s
Meditate, whether you want it or not
Link to topic in video at 1h13m33s
So, my suggestion to you is: start all over again. Start meditating, as if you never meditated before. Swamiji says, when you start the meditation, do it at least for 45 days every day. This gives you enough time to have enough own experience in you so that you have the strength to continue. The important thing is that you do it every day.
Don't ask yourself every morning: "Do I want to meditate this morning, or not?" No. Just remember: "Yes, I know, this is good for me. I do this – whether I want it or not." That's the one thing you need to do. All the other things happen by themselves. But wanting to meditate, that's what you need to do.
So, start over again. Start another 45 days. Meditate every morning and go to the meditation group. I don't have this luxury, here where I live. I live way out in the boonies. There is no meditation group. The next meditation group is 1 hour 45 minutes by car. I meditate in a group online, that's the best I can do, and I invite people into the house.
We promote the meditation here where we live, and sometimes, now, people come and join us in the Online Meditation. And this is such an amazing help for me when people come. But if not, then I meditate alone online with other people. And you, when you are in Cologne and you have the possibility to actually go to a real group, ah, this is such a gift. This is such a blessing. So, just give it another try.
I know these people from the Cologne meditation group. They're really weird people, and I love them. I know some of them since many years. A few of them I know rather well, and I totally love them. They are such beautiful souls. And sometimes I meet them, and I'm so happy when I meet them, but they are really different. They're not easy people – they are real people. And you don't go there because it's easy with them. You don't go there because you love them. You go there because it's the best help you can get.
I know these people from the meditation group. They're really weird people, and I love them. They're not easy people – they are real people. And you don't go there because it's easy with them. You don't go there because you love them. You go there because it's the best help you can get.
Link to quote in video at 1h15m38s
Be true to yourself
Link to topic in video at 1h16m22s
Oh, and one more thing at the end. I would like to encourage you to be true to yourself.
I recommend what I recommend to you not because I want to talk you into something; not because I want to convince you of something. No. I told you the things I tell you because I read your letter, and what I hear out of this letter is that you know what's good for you and that you want it, but that you can't do it, and that's why I give you encouragement.
That's why I give you energy for it. That's why I want to inspire you to do what you feel you want to do. But if this is not the case, if this is not what you want, then forget everything I said. You need to be true to yourself, that's important.
What I hear out of your letter is that you know what's good for you and that you want it, but that you can't do it, and that's why I give you encouragement. That's why I give you energy for it. But if this is not what you want, then forget everything I said. You need to be true to yourself, that's important.
Link to quote in video at 1h16m42s
You know, for me, this meditation is the best thing I've discovered in all of my lives. I never came across anything better. For me, this is the way. This is the way to achieve what Jesus was talking about: to live in Heaven, to discover my soul, to fulfill the purpose of this life. And that's why I talk about it. That's why I meditate, every morning.
For me, this meditation is the best thing I've discovered in all of my lives. I never came across anything better. For me, this is the way. This is the way to achieve what Jesus was talking about: to live in Heaven, to discover my soul, to fulfill the purpose of this life. And that's why I talk about it. That's why I meditate, every morning.
Link to quote in video at 1h17m30s
Just now, I had a cold the last 10 days. I didn't make a video because I could barely talk. And a few days, I was so sick, I had high fever, but I meditated every morning. I cannot imagine starting the day without meditation because it's so good for me. It's the best thing I ever discovered. And this, I want to remind you of. For this, I want to inspire you – if you have this in you, too.
I'm so happy that you are here.
I love you.