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Why does this take so long ?

What nobody tells you about enlightenment.

Everyone is getting faster and more impatient, only you are getting slower, and your enlightenment is not showing up. I will tell you what is really happening here and what it is really about.

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This video is for all those people who are under "enlightenment pressure": those who feel not yet enlightened but would so like to; those who feel fundamentally wrong because it takes so long for them; and all those who occasionally feel pressured by nonduality wisdom and Advaita advice.

I'm talking about what enlightenment, in very practical terms, really is. I'm talking about how the above wisdom and advice, while mostly true, is not really helpful, simply because it doesn't tell the whole truth. And I'd like to make up for that.

I am infinitely grateful for the unspectacular calm and gentleness of my Master Sohamji and for the wisdom of my Guru Swamiji, who always emphasizes that "slow" is good. In this video I talk about why "slow" is necessary and a blessing.

Complete text for reading along:

Good morning.

This morning I want to talk about a subject which I believe touches many many people. It is this feeling: why does it take so long? Why does it take so long, this journey into Heaven, this discovery of God, this is arriving at myself? There are many ways to express the same thing, but why does it take so long? And it's... it's so normal that we have this impatience. There are several reasons for this. Impatience is a good thing for normal human beings. Because we are impatient, because we are curious and lazy, we want to improve things, we want to learn new ways to do things better. So, this impatience is like a natural drive for our creativity, and yet it also can get into our way when it prevents us from doing things which are necessary on our way. There are certain things which take some time, and if you try to do a shortcut, after a while we find out: the shortcut doesn't work, and what we did is: we prolonged the whole thing instead of speeding it up.

We live in fast times. Many people say this that things get faster and faster, and people get more and more impatient, and we get seduced. Advertisements, they suggest to us that we can have this or that, that we can become happy and content in no time, it takes no time; or workshops tell you that you can learn something in one weekend and that's it. So, it's everywhere, this idea that we could achieve something instantaneously, and then we want this. There are many people, they're not even patient enough to cook a nice meal for themselves because it would take 20 or 25 minutes. They rather eat something which takes one minute of preparation time, because we are caught in this spirit of these times: fast, faster.

But nature doesn't care. Nature doesn't care: things take their time, everywhere. That things get faster, and that it's possible that they are faster, is an illusion, and you know this. You know this, because you know yourself. You know: everything you touch, everything you try takes so much longer than you think. You believe that everybody around you is faster, because all you see from the other people is the end result, the outcome. They studied something, they learned something, and then they are able to do it, and then they show off with it, and that's what you see. But you don't see the struggle, you don't see how long it actually took them to learn it.

But with yourself you know. You make plans for the day, and at the end of the day you realize: I didn't even do 10 percent of it, not even 10 percent! Why am I so slow? Everybody is like this. It's normal and it's good. And in a spiritual field, it's just the same. We get this idea when we listen to the people around us, when we look at the people around us, that also there, it should be fast, it should be basically instantaneous, and with me, it takes so long. What's wrong with me?

When you look at somebody like Jesus... the picture which gets painted for us by the Christian church about Jesus is that of an extraordinary holy being which basically dropped down from Heaven as he is, or as he was. Officially we don't know anything about how he got to this point. He's ready made. We are sinners, no hope, and then there's a rare being like Jesus dropping from Heaven, holy and perfect. And what they do not tell us... They don't tell us about the process, they don't tell us about the path a saint like Jesus took to come to that point where he then became publicly visible. What we know about Jesus, what is written in the New Testament in the Bible, is the end result of a path, but we don't know anything about the path. And that's unfortunate, because that path would teach us: first of all, it's natural to become like a Jesus, and more importantly, it just takes time. But we don't have this information.

There are some gurus and some saints in the Himalayas, they talk about Jesus, they know about him, and they describe how he got to this point, and that he went through school. He went through spiritual school, he had gurus. Some people say he was part of the Essene cult, a spiritual community where he learned these things. Other people say he was in India before, or maybe both. He was such an extraordinary being, he still is, you can feel it, and he had an extraordinary path to make him that what we then could see when he became publicly visible. But in our Christian upbringing we don't hear anything about this.

So, we don't know about process. We don't know about time. These days we have the possibility to watch videos about anything we want in the internet, we can read about anything we want, and there are many people who share about their awakening experiences, they talk about truth, and when you watch these videos, it's easy to get the impression that also there... they suggest that basically there's nothing to do. Basically, all you need to do is: you just realize, there is no me, there is no I, there's nobody to get enlightened, this there's nobody to be improved or to reach anywhere. And you know, in a way that is true. I mean, this is the ultimate truth, but the question for me is: is it helpful? For me it's not.

It's not helpful for me to hear these things again and again. To hear them once, okay, but then... what to do so this becomes my reality, not a piece of intellectual information I heard from somebody. How can I get to Heaven? How can I be so I know this, I breath this? How can I become a Jesus? And there is a common misunderstanding, and I want to talk about this now. I want to talk about enlightenment.

It's like, people believe you have a moment of enlightenment, suddenly you see how things really are, and then everything's different. And I experienced many people in Satsang with Sohamji, my spiritual master... many people found to him and to his Satsang after they had an enlightenment experience in their life, and after that enlightenment experience, for a while everything was different for them. The whole perception of themselves, their whole perception of the world, of reality, was different. But what happened then is that after a while, this started to fade away, and that what was normal for them before came back, slowly but surely, more and more. And then they came to Soham and asked him: why does this go away? What did I do wrong? Why is it gone? Where is it?

So, we have this experience what we call enlightenment, where we suddenly see something we've never seen before. We perceive it inside: oh, wow... It's different for everybody. Some people don't even have this, and don't worry, it's not needed. But some people have this, and there is this misunderstanding that this is the moment of change. You have to have this moment, this experience, and this experience will change you. And this is not true, as many people find out. Yes, you have this experience, yes, it's unforgettable, yes, it does something to you, but it doesn't change you.

It's rather like this that it's part of a long process, and you don't know anything about the process, it's just part of the process. At one point of the process, you suddenly are able to see something you haven't seen before, but then the process continues. But we don't know about this process, nobody tells you about this. The Christian church pretends as if it's something instantaneous, if you're good enough, that at some point you will be granted Heaven. And the way many people talk about spiritual things these days is in a way the same. And I want to share with you how it is for me. For me it is like this: it's about sensitivity. It's about becoming more and more sensitive. In some mysterious way we don't know anything about, life makes us more and more sensitive in this life. And then, at some point, we are so sensitive that suddenly we can see something we never saw before. And then the process of becoming more and more sensitive continues, but we don't know anything about it.

What we saw in the enlightenment experience is a result of the becoming more and more sensitive before, and that continues. The experience itself didn't change anything, it's just a result of a development which is naturally happening in your life. And yes, these experiences can be very dramatic for some people, but they don't change you really. The change happens elsewhere.

I remember... I had a few experiences in my life which I could call enlightenment experience. The first one is maybe 25 years ago. At that time, I had a normal life. I had a good job, I made a lot of money, I got paid way too much. I didn't know what the people were paying me for, because I didn't feel that capable. I was married. I was living in the United States of America. I was flying back and forth to Europe a lot, I was very busy in my job and I loved my job, but basically, I felt... how to say it in English... I felt like in deep water. I knew that I'm not as good as I should be to do the job right. And also in my marriage I knew: what my wife expects of me I cannot fulfill, I won't fulfill, I'm just not able. So, I knew this. There was a first recognition of my own limitations as a human being, but I wasn't spiritual at all. I didn't know anything about all these things. I just tried to be a good husband, I tried to be a good manager, I tried to be a good friend, and I was basically happy, because I didn't know about any other kind of happiness at that time.

And then, one day, I was on a plane, I was flying from Frankfurt to Chicago, a long flight, and a friend had given me a book. A friend had given me a book from Eckart Tolle, 25 years ago: The Power of Now. And I was reading this book on that flight and it touched me totally. It was like: I was reading this book, and although I had never heard about these things before, I never had read anything spiritual before, I read the book and I knew: this is all true. I knew it as if it was my own experience. I knew it: this is true. I was totally shaken. My whole perception changed. I still remember... I arrived in America and it was like I didn't recognize my life anymore. I didn't know how to fit into this life anymore, because my perception had changed.

I didn't change, I still was the same idiot I was before, the same limitations, the same programs, the same psyche, the same abilities and the same inabilities, the same worries and fears. There was just a new perception, and I didn't know what to do with it, and I didn't do anything with it. I didn't change anything. Life took care of all of this. It all happened by itself, as in your life.

So, yes, I had this experience, and it was really remarkable. I will never forget it. It gave me a new perspective of things, but it didn't change me. These short but remarkable experiences don't change us. They give us a hint, but they don't change us. They give us encouragement, but they don't change us.

And then, a few years later, I guess it was about two years later, that was shortly before I came to my spiritual master Soham, I had another experience which I could call an enlightenment experience. I experienced for a few moments or minutes, I don't know how long, maybe it was an hour, I have no idea... I experienced complete disconnectedness from everything. I wasn't a body. I wasn't an "I". There was no world. I was just in some space where there was nothing, but this felt so good, so right, so natural, so peaceful, so timelessly perfect, and I knew: this is the truth. I don't know why I knew it; it was just obvious: this, that's where I'm coming from, this is where I am now, I just don't know it normally. It was an amazing experience, but very quiet, very unspectacular, and yet different than anything I've ever had experienced before. And also this, I want to stress, it didn't change me. It went away. It left its traces in me, of course, sure, but it wasn't that I was a different human being afterwards, smarter, more enlightened, more spiritual, no. It was just one step of a long way.

From time to time, I'm changing my legs here. I only have one set of legs, I don't change the legs, but I changed the position. I'm sitting here with my legs crossed on this small table, and sometimes I have to switch how I cross the legs so they don't fall asleep for too long.

So, earlier I said: it's about sensitivity. Life makes us, through the experiences we have in life, more and more sensitive. And then we reach a point on this journey to sensitivity where we become able to experience something like this in a natural spontaneous way. It just happens by itself. And it's this process of becoming more sensitive, that's what changes us.

The more sensitive you become, the more you can perceive and the more you can learn. And this is the magic process you go through in this life, this process of becoming more sensitive. It happens by itself, although there are things... you can support this, but basically it happens by itself. And then, with this becoming more sensitive, this has dramatic consequences. And I mentioned earlier that it's good that this whole process is slow, it's good that it takes time, because we have to adapt.

We have to learn. As we become more sensitive, we have to become capable of coping with this new sensitivity. You begin to notice things you haven't noticed before; you begin to feel things you haven't felt before, and you need to learn ways to dance with this.

One of the first things what happens for people when they reach a certain sensitivity, when they have an enlightenment experience, when they begin to discover their inside, when they begin to cover discover themselves... one of the first things they discover is how they really are, how limited, how stupid, how not in control of this life, and they become... they begin to feel feelings which of course were always there, old feelings, but they never felt them, and it's good that they never felt it because they were not capable. But now, as their sensitivity grows, slowly slowly, all these things become feelable, and then we need to feel them. And by going through this, by feelings them, slowly slowly we digest them, and it's all not a problem.

And the same with friends, with your partner, with people around you... as you become more sensitive, you discover things about the people around you which you didn't know before: that they are just as stupid as you are, that they have no clue what they're doing. You notice how loud they are, and how much it hurts you. And all these things become increasingly intense for us as we become more subtle, as we become more sensitive. And our ability to dance with them in a creative way, our ability to find our ways to deal with how life is, that grows, and that takes time. It's easy to have an enlightenment experience, that just happens by itself, but the actual change happens slowly as our sensitivity grows.

The Samarpan Meditation is an amazing help on this path, because what this does is: it provides us a safe place where we can practice being totally sensitive, in a place where there's nothing around us, no other people, we are just meditating on the crown chakra. We don't give attention to thoughts, we don't give attention to the world, you're just at this one holy spot, and it feels at times as if this is really a safe place, and there you can practice the sensitivity. And then you go back into the day, you became a little bit more sensitive, and then you learn how to deal with this. And I can tell you: it's a long process.

As your sensitivity grows, in the same way you need to find ways to live differently. Your work changes slowly slowly slowly. The way you live in your family, with your partner, changes slowly slowly slowly. The world doesn't change, your partner doesn't change, your work doesn't change, but you learn to deal with it in new ways, in better ways which fit to new your new sensitivity. And it's not just one learning. This sensitivity keeps increasing more and more and more. And in the same way as your abilities to take care of yourself, your ability to accept the world as it is, your ability to accept yourself as you are, your ability to accept and love the people around you as they are, and then you learn how to dance with this and how you can be with these people as sensitive as you are... in that way as you learn this, then you become even more sensitive.

This is a slow process which keeps going on and on and on. And the more sensitive you become, the more you realize the truth, the more you realize who you really are, the more you realize your Soul, Heaven, God. But Heaven, God, is something subtle. It's not a person, it's not a place, it's a way of being inside you, and this has to do with sensitivity. And you can support becoming more sensitive.

The best way for me to support this process of sensitivity and learning to deal with it is the Samarpan Meditation. And then, you learn new ways in all areas of your life, so your life fits better to this new, more sensitive person you become. And then, more and more, and as your sensitivity grows, your perception of that what I call Heaven grows. And maybe you understand now better why this takes so long. It's a slow process of learning, integrating. It's nothing magic, it's nothing special, it's just learning, that's what we human people can do.

What distinguishes us humans from all other animals is this ability to change how we think, to change how we do things, our ability to be creative and to dramatically change the way we are and how we perceive the world. Neurologists discover abilities of the human brain which are really different than the abilities of an animal brain because it basically can restructure itself in an amazing, totally amazing way. But it takes time, and that also happens when you become more sensitive. You learn a totally new way of being, slowly slowly slowly.

So, if you have an experience like an enlightenment experience, this is cool, but just forget it again. The real process is: learn to become more sensitive, protect the sensitivity. You learn how to dance with this, and not fight, accept, and learn a total new way of living, and a totally new way of being. And you will notice then in your life how unsensitive you have been before, and you become incapable of many things which were normal for you before.

When I think back... like the movies I watched. I enjoyed watching movies. I can't watch movies anymore. I'm so sensitive now that it just is so painful. My life became more subtle, finer, and I became more sensitive, I don't need any extra input. I don't need a movie to stimulate myself or to make myself entertained. I find the most quiet moment so intense and so exciting. I can't bear a movie anymore, and that's what will happen in your life too.

As you become more sensitive, you'll notice: I can't do this anymore, I don't want to. Why would I want to do this? I can't do this anymore... and then you discover new things you enjoy much better. And then your surroundings react to this, your partner reacts to this or your colleagues, or your friends, and then you need to learn to handle this in some way, and find new ways to enjoy your friends which fit your sensitivity. And this is a slow, ongoing process.

But nobody tells you about this. What people tell you about is the "truth". It's nice to hear the truth. But what then? Nobody talks about this. And this is why I make my videos; I want to tell you about this process again and again, so you know: everything is fine with you. That you are so slow, that it takes so long in your life, is the way it is intended to be. It's important like this.

You know, there are people who try to take shortcuts. And shortcuts we usually do with drugs, and it works great. I mean, I never was attracted to drugs in my life, but what I hear is: you have these amazing experiences, like your whole perception changes, and you can see things, you can perceive things you usually never perceive. But as I said: these experiences don't change you. They don't make you more sensitive, quite the contrary; they are loud experiences, very intense experiences. They're the opposite of becoming more sensitive.

I trust the slow things. I trust the quiet things. I trust those things which basically happen, slowly slowly, by themselves.

And if you try to push it, if you try to take a shortcut, basically what you do is: you want experiences you are not ready for, and you will get them, of course, but you don't know how to deal with them. You don't know how to deal with this very very brief moment of extreme sensitivity. You haven't integrated anything. You haven't learned it. Some people just go crazy with this, and it's all because they want to take shortcuts. And the people I know who took this route, all the people I know who took this road, and some of them are famous, and some of them are so famous and courageous enough that they talk about the experiences later... they basically, after all the drug experiences, they had to crash, they had to come back to the ground, and then start the slow process again.

It doesn't work without the process, but you can trust the process. It happens by itself, it's totally natural. You become more and more sensitive, and the more sensitive you become, the more you feel the truth, the more you discover your soul, the more you discover Heaven. But because it happens slow, because it happens by itself, only those things happen which you are capable of, and that's good.

Maybe now you also understand why it can happen that you have the impression that your life becomes more difficult right now. In some of my videos I read letters from people, or I shared what people tell me about their lives; that they find it so difficult; and that's because you become more sensitive. You have been unsensitive like all the other people around you in the past, but then, a few years ago or maybe 10 or 20 years ago, you started to become more sensitive, and then you notice how painful it is to live the way you used to live. You notice the pain of the other people and the aggression of the other people, but they don't feel this. They are just as insensitive as they've always been, and for you it becomes unbearable.

The other people are not wrong. They didn't change. You changed. You became more sensitive, and now you need to learn how to dance with this. And it's very very valuable to learn to dance with this, because then you can become even more sensitive and more happy and more close to yourself. And after a while you have learned it. These difficulties that you start feeling and perceiving when you start this journey of sensitivity, they happen in the beginning. Because what basically happens is: you begin to awaken from a life of unsensitivity.

You have put yourself in situations, in life situations, in work situations, which you only could cope with because you were so unsensitive, and now you become sensitive more and more, and they become just unbearable to you; not because they are wrong, not because of the people who now are so painful for you, not because they are wrong. You become more sensitive, and now, slowly slowly, over the years, you will discover all new ways to live. And you will discover ways to live you didn't know that they are possible, but they are. And after a while, after 5, 10, 20 years, your whole life changes. And then you have a life suitable for a very very very sensitive person like you. And then this process of becoming more even more sensitive can continue without much trouble.

And that's why I make my videos: to remind you of this again and again and again. This is why I will make these videos for years and years and years, because I know: this is a process which takes time; and I just want to encourage you again and again. And you know, it's really a joke, because we have the feeling... it's leg changing time again... we have the feeling: it takes so long! But in reality, of course, this is not true. This is the life where you are about to discover the truth about life. You will discover Heaven. You will discover God. And that you are at this point in this life is only possible because you went through so many lives before.

The Indians, they tell us about reincarnation. They say we have reincarnated many many times. We started out as rocks, and then we became plants, and then simple animals, and then higher animals, and then we became even more sophisticated animals, and at some point, we incarnated as a human being. And then we go through several incarnations as humans, usually seven, eight, nine, ten, and through this whole process from stone to human, from completely insensitive to super sensitive, in this whole process we become more and more sensitive. It's a long process, and even when we become humans, we have to go through many many lives.

First we have lives where it's really rough, really very unsensitive everything, and slowly slowly, the lives change, and now, finally, after such a long journey, you are in the life where it is possible for you to awaken to the truth and to become like this, to live like this. So, you're at the end of a very very long process, and what's left now, what's happening now, is so quick, just the rest of this life. And then, the more sensitive you become, the more sensitive you also become to your body. You treat your body better and better, you're more and more grateful for your body, so you get more time in this life to learn it even better.

So, yes, it feels impatient because we are in a world of complete impatience everywhere, and everybody suggests to you: follow my way and it's quick, buy my product and you are happy forever instantaneously. Of course, you know it's a lie, but we love to believe these things. And also in the spiritual field, as I said, if you listen to some of these people, we could get the misinterpretation that it's quick. Enlightenment is quick, but that's only one spot of the way. Some people say: enlightenment is the beginning, not the end.

Swamiji, my Indian Guru who brings the Samarpan Meditation out of the Himalayas into the society, he says: slow is good, slow is important, and that's why he says it. Because we need this time to change, we need this time to adapt. The meditation makes us more sensitive and that's all we need, but we need to adapt to this slowly increasing sensitivity. We learn new ways, and slowly we change as humans, and that's why it's such a safe, such a grounded path. So, slow is good, slow is really good. Quick would be a big problem. I always loved to be slow, and now even more. I'm so slow, and I invite you to also become slower. I want to share my patience with you.

So, now you know why it's so slow, and now you know why you can be really really happy about this. And now you know that you can love your sensitivity, that's what it's all about. Protect it, foster it, nourish it, and learn new ways to learn to deal with it. It's not about becoming less sensitive, quite the opposite.

Enough for today.

I will make more videos about this, just to encourage you for exactly that. And right now, I make one video per week, simply because like everybody else I have to work, but I would love to make more videos. I want to do two videos every week and even more, and the more people support me in this project financially, the better I can do this. If you are interested, on my website you find information about this. You can just become a member on Steady and support my project with very small monthly contributions, and then I can make more videos and that's all I want to do.

And don't believe anybody who tells you: ah, it's quick, nothing needed. I mean, it's true, it is really quick, the recognition is quick, but then, to remain there and to continue with this this takes a little bit of time.

I give you my patience.

Thank you for listening.

Everything is okay with you and I love you.