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Just like this you should be

About true love, being wrong and other questions.

Topics: Miracles. The meaning of life. Where is the deceased? Space for feelings. What we do during meditation. The "I" doesn't want to meditate. Unconditional love. Being true to yourself. Neither holding up light nor excluding shadow. The conviction that you should be different.

About this Video:

In this 2-hour video, I was again allowed to answer the touching questions of many people, but first of all it is about the miracles that happen when we meditate and entrust ourselves to life, and it really is like this: when we begin to learn to let go, life becomes miraculous.

Then we return to the core question of the last video, "Karma and the meaning of life", and I was asked why I don't want to incarnate again. And surprisingly, the answer to the subsequent question of why a deceased loved one is no longer available to us is closely linked to the first two questions. Then it's about a "me" who doesn't feel like meditating and is constantly doing things that aren't good for him, and here, too, the answer leads in exactly the same direction.

Then I was asked to talk about unconditional love - a topic big enough for a whole video on its own. Love is not what we think it is. Only those who already have one foot in Heaven begin to taste true love.

Many other questions are about the favorite pastime of us humans: feeling wrong and believing that we should be different - a "hobby" that unites us all. Finally, the question arose as to whether this wonderful human body, in which we are all allowed to live, should not be included in Samarpan meditation in an appropriate way, and this leads directly back to the topic at the very beginning: why are we here? What are we actually doing here? Why are we really here in this life?

Whoever begins to experience the answer to these questions will find the answer to all of life's questions. That is the amazing secret of our human existence, and that is why I always give the same answers.

Links to the topics in this video:

(please find the complete transcript below)

  1. Miracles

  2. The Meaning of life

  3. Where is the deceased?

  4. The "I" doesn't want to meditate

  5. The "I" does harmful things

  6. Unconditional love

  7. Being true to yourself

  8. What we do during meditation

  9. Neither holding up light nor excluding shadow

  10. Space for feelings

  11. Support me if it gives you joy

Complete text for reading along:

Good morning.


This morning, I would like to make another video where I read out questions, and I will answer to them or comment on them out of my own experience of my own life. I love these videos, because I really love these questions which reach me. But today, I would like to start with not a question, but a report. I received a report by a lady who was desperately looking for an apartment where she could live. Since months, she was in a really impossible situation with basically only very little money and no idea where to live.

And in this situation, she returned to her parents' home and lived there for quite a while, which was very difficult and basically impossible for her. But everything she tried did not work out. She just couldn't find a suitable place which would feel good and would be affordable. So, she stayed living at her parents', and it became increasingly difficult for everybody involved.

And during this time, she wrote to me about it a few times, and I suggested to her that what I basically suggest to everybody, no matter what question is being asked: to surrender to the situation, to give up the attempt to solve the problem, which is obviously unsolvable for you, but instead to give it all into life's hands; like what Jesus said when he said: "Lord, Thy Will be done". To acknowledge: "I don't know what's supposed to happen here. I don't know what to do. I'm helpless", and instead, to return inside, to meditate.

And she did this. And again and again, she wrote and said: "It's impossible. What can I do?" And I said: "Don't worry about it. Don't worry. Meditate, and and give up the responsibility for the situation." That's what Jesus called trust, a trust that it will be taken care of. And now, I will read out the report to you.

"I would very much like to tell you about a miracle. It's unbelievable, but it's actually true. Today, I signed the tenancy agreement for a new apartment. The apartment is perfect. It's affordable, and my dog is also welcome. The landlady has also offered me the chance to help out around the house, the yard, and the business she has, in return for money. And the icing on the cake: during the summer, she has a second car available, which I also can use.

Writing down all the details would go beyond the scope of this letter, but these are the most important three points. And everything just found me! I just placed a small classified ad in the paper, out of my desperation and need. I instantly liked the landlady, and I felt that Heaven had sent me this angel. She was so kind, so helpful, and so accommodating. I stand here in amazement, and I can hardly believe my luck."

Thank you for this beautiful report. This is also my experience. I experienced it in my own life many times, and I heard it from people writing to me, that the solution life is coming up with is so perfect that we could have never imagined it. We are desperate. We don't know what to do. All we know is: "Whatever I try, it does not work." And then, we look for an apartment, but we don't have much money, and we don't have a car, and we have a dog, nobody wants the dog and so on.

But we are so desperate. We just want any place to live. But life doesn't just give us any place. What happens often is so perfect in so many different aspects that you would have never dared to wish for something like this, let alone to imagine that this would actually be possible. But this is my own experience, too. And then you stand there, and you think: this is amazing. This is a miracle. But in reality, it's not a miracle. This is how life works.

I remember, about 9 months ago, last year, I received the letter of a mother with a small child, and she was also desperately looking for a place to live. She had not much money. She was living in a town where apartments are very expensive, and most of the apartments were too expensive, or people didn't want a single mother with little money and a child.

And she had the feeling: "I have no chance". She had the feeling: "This is impossible. There are so many people who have more money. I will never find a place where I feel well." And I advised the same to her: to trust life, to give up the responsibility, to turn instead inside, this what Jesus called prayer, and to trust, and to meditate.

And then, a few months later, not long afterwards, she wrote to me that she got the perfect apartment. Not only that the apartment was perfect, beautiful, and affordable, but also the surroundings, you know, things she would have never dared to even consider: the kindergarten for the child, the job situation, the surroundings, everything was perfect, and it was a miracle for her.

In my own life, I just recall one situation. It's a long time ago already, 37 years. And at that time, I had a profession, and at some point, I noticed: I have to get out of here. I have to stop working in this profession. I just can't do this anymore. And it was such a severe situation for me that I felt: "No matter what it means, I have to quit. I have to get out of here." And it was difficult for me, because I had no idea what I should do afterwards. I felt that I will not find another job, because with what I had learned, nobody wants me.

I had no money, quite the opposite: I had to pay a lot of money in order to quit this job, because I had enjoyed quite some education there and quite some training. But I had to leave this job, and I was really desperate. I said:" God, I don't know what to do." I wasn't even a Christian. I wasn't raised as a Christian as a child, but in this desperation, I prayed. I said: "God, I don't know what to do. Help me. You do it. I have no clue how this could ever work out."

So, I prayed. I surrendered.

And then, I quit this job. Everything worked out well. I was jobless for a very, very short time, and even during this short jobless time, I received so much support, I was amazed. And then, I found my dream job. And the amazing thing is that before I found this job, I didn't even know that I want a job like this. I didn't even know that I would be able to do this. But I scanned the newspapers for job advertisements, and then, one day, I saw this tiny little classified job advertisement.

I thought: "This is it." It was offering a job I never considered, but when I read the offer, I knew: "This is what I want to do. This is what I love to do. This is what I can do." But a moment before, I didn't even know these things. Can you imagine this? So, I called there. They hired me on the spot, and what started was a career in a new job which turned out to be my dream job. I was blossoming there, and I had so much joy and so much fun.

This is how life works when we surrender, when we trust, when we meditate. At that time, I didn't know anything about meditation. The surrender happened automatically, out of sheer desperation. So, occasionally, I want to remind myself and you that this actually is how life works.

We always believe that life is dangerous and difficult, but this is only how we look at life. In reality, when we become able to trust and to let go, and this is what we learn through the Samarpan Meditation, then everything is different. That's what you will find out. Thank you for this report. And now I read out the first real question.

The Meaning of life

So, this letter is from a lady who just recently lost her girlfriend. The girlfriend died. "Dear Mikael, thank you so much for your video today... not being the doer. I was already blaming myself for not having done this and that for my deceased friend. Or I was thinking I should have visited her again, and so on. Thank you. But I still have not understood what the meaning of life is. Can you please tell me this in one sentence? And why don't you want to be incarnated again?"

There is a second part to this question, but I want to stop here briefly and respond to this.

Why are we here? I just made a video, and I guess that the lady watched my video but still has the question: why are we here? What is this life for? What is the meaning of this life?

We take the content of this life very serious. We think, it's about what happens in our life, and we try to find meaning in that, but it doesn't make sense. How could it? Your body was born a few years ago, and in a few years, your body will die, and everything will be gone.

It makes no sense. You love somebody, that somebody dies, that somebody is gone. It makes no sense. We have joy. The next moment, the joy is gone. We suffer. It all makes no sense to us. As long as we look at this physical life, this life we live as a body, as a 'me', as a person, it all makes no sense. We have to look beyond. We have to understand what's actually going on.

Normally, we are totally identified with this body. Normally, we think: "I am this body. I am this body. I have thoughts and wishes and hopes and dreams and worries and fears, and this is 'me'." And this is how it feels to us. With every inch, we feel: this is me. But this is not true, but we don't know this, we cannot experience it, normally.

But then, we start meditating. I'm talking about Samarpan Meditation, and in this meditation, we do something really simple but very interesting. We give our attention not to the body, not to the thoughts. Instead, we rest with our attention here, at the crown chakra. This is simply this highest spot of your head, nothing esoteric, nothing special. We just rest there, without thinking. Of course, we have thoughts when we do this, but we don't give them attention. We just rest there. We park our attention at the crown chakra.

And by this, slowly, slowly, we discover something interesting. We discover a space, a part of us... it's hard to put this into words. We discover something which we can feel, but which obviously has nothing to do with this existence. It has nothing to do with the body. It has nothing to do with time. It has nothing to do with anything happening in this life. It has nothing to do with birth or death. And Swamiji, my Indian Guru, who brings the Samarpan Meditation, he says: there we discover our soul, that what we are in reality.

And when you discover that, then everything begins to make sense. It's not about the content of your life. It is about discovering who you really are. But it only makes sense when you discover it, not by thinking about it.

And that's the purpose of this life. This life is like an exercise. It's like a practice ground for us to discover this. Life gives us the opportunity to get lost in life, and this is needed for us to be able to discover ourselves. Otherwise, we can't do this. It's a really funny game.

And once you have the knack, you know the direction. Usually, we try to find meaning and sense in life itself, but there is nothing that makes sense at all.

But once you understand why we are here – to discover who we really are –, then everything makes sense; then we see how this funny life, impossible as it seems, helps us in just this one task we have.

That's why we are here. In my last video, 'Karma and the Meaning of Life', I've spoke about it at length.

And you ask, why do I not want to incarnate again? I do not not want to incarnate again. I never said this.

It's like this for me: when you begin to discover your soul, when you begin to discover that you're not this body, then, life is not important anymore. You still live your life. You're still here. And, in a way, I enjoy it more than ever before, but it's not important anymore. The important thing is to return to my soul again and again and again.

And then, even whether I incarnate again after this body dies or not, is no concern.

I'm not thinking about this. Not even once did I think about this. I just look into the direction of my soul eternally, so to speak, and whether I do this while I am in a body and or whether I do this while I am not in a body, it doesn't matter to me. I leave this up to life. I don't need to come back into another body to discover who I am, but if life says it should happen, I say yes. It's not my decision and not my concern. And now, I want to go on to the second part of the question.

Where is the deceased?

"My mind does not understand where my girlfriend is now or why she's no longer available. The only answer I can find is: there's no answer to that. And then, everything calms down inside of me. But then I feel indifferent, because I'm not in the drama. Can you tell me something about this?"

Yes, this is really interesting. I know this feeling too. When you come to peace, when you turn inside and when you find the space in you where everything is okay, there's no drama. There's no trauma. There's no agony. There are no strong feelings. There's just peace, quiet, love, and that's what we long for. And yet, when we experience this, it feels as if we do something wrong. We feel that the drama, the suffering, is a sign of our love, of our humanity, of our being concerned about the other.

I felt like this occasionally.

You ask: you don't understand why your girlfriend is not available anymore, or, your mind doesn't understand.

As long as we live as a body, as somebody, as an 'I', as long as we are identified as being a body, when we don't know that we are a soul, when we do not live as a soul, then we can only relate to other people on this bodily level, on this physical level. Only when we experience the other person as a body, only then can we relate and love. And when the other dies, the other is gone, and we are in agony.

But the real connection to the other person was never on the physical level, we just didn't know it. When you feel this magic connection through love, you don't experience it through this physical relationship. Maybe you have experienced this. You can have great sex, or you have nice experiences, but you notice: "What I really feel, what I really cherish about this connection with this other being, has nothing to do with what we do together." But you don't know what it is.

You have a connection on another level, but you don't know anything about this level, because you live identified as a body. But when you start meditating, then, you slowly discover who you really are. You begin to discover something very real, very experienceable in you. I'm not talking about spiritual concepts. That's why I like the Samarpan Meditation so much. You just meditate, it's totally easy, totally unspiritual, and through this, you begin to experience yourself that there is this other part of you, the real part. That's what you really are: your soul.

And just by resting in your crown chakra for half an hour every morning, you discover this. Totally normal. You experience this. It's amazing. And then, you discover who you really are. It's like you discover a totally new world. You notice: "I always thought that I am this body and all these thoughts and wishes and dreams and sorrows"... but then you discover this. It's like discovering another world, in you, and then you notice: "Ah, there I am at home. That's where I am coming from. That's where I am going. That's where I am now."

And as you become more acquainted with this, as your soul, your true identity becomes more experienceable for you, and the more the body and this physical experience loses its importance to you, because you are less identified with this.

And when you discover your soul, then you yourself come on that level where love was happening all along, all the time. This connection with your beloved always only happened on this soul level, but you never knew anything about it. Now, when you want to find your girlfriend, when you want to find this connection again, turn inside. Don't think about a girlfriend. Don't think about somebody. Forget all the memories. Forget all the thoughts.

Meditate. Be inside. Turn to the spot (the crown chakra) which you do not understand but which will lead you to your soul.

And the more you do this, the more you are at home there, the more you are just connected, connected with yourself. And at the same time, you will feel so connected to everything which you felt your girlfriend, your partner, was and is.

But you won't stop there. You will feel connected to everybody. You will feel connected to God. And you will think: "Am I crazy, or is this real?" But that's the way. On that level, there is no death. And on that level, there is also no separation.

Your mind cannot understand where your girlfriend is because your mind is part of this body.

And on that level, there will never be understanding about life. But when you meditate, and it's so easy, then you discover your true identity. And there, everything makes sense. There, you feel connected. There, you will find her, but not as somebody.

You will just be one with her, and you will feel it.

And you say: sometimes you have these moments... when you say: when you acknowledge there is no answer to this question your mind has, this is the moment where your mind gives up and says: "Okay. I just don't know. I don't understand all this game. I don't know anything about love. I don't know anything about life"... in those moments where the mind stops, then you are on that level, and then, everything is quiet. Then, there is no missing anybody, because you're just connected. It's not that then there is somebody again, but you're just connected.

In those moments, you are close to your soul, the soul of your partner. That's why you feel this peace. There's no problem. There's no missing. There's no separation.

And you can learn to be in this space more and more just by meditating every morning, or whenever you can. It doesn't matter. The mornings are the best times, but it doesn't matter. Meditate, whenever you can.

Thank you for your question. I'm so touched.

So, I'll read out the next question.

The "I" doesn't want to meditate

"Two issues are occupying my mind at the moment. I don't do the Samarpan Meditation every day. The 'I' just doesn't feel like it." There's a second question to this, but I want to stop here. Thank you for this comment. It's not really a question. It's more like a description of how it is for you, and I appreciate your honesty. This is really touching.

Yes, the 'I' does not feel like meditating. The 'I' only exists when we do not meditate. When we let go of our thoughts, when we let go of our wishes, and with let go I mean: when we don't put our attention there, but when we take our attention instead and just park it here at the crown chakra during meditation... then, for that moment, there is no 'I'.

Then, the thoughts come back, and the wishes and the problems and the 'I'. But then, we turn away with our attention and we return to this spot, and, again, there's no 'I', for just a moment. So, meditating and 'I' don't go together, and that's why the 'I' never feels like meditating.

But there's a second power in you, besides of this 'I'. This second power is very, very quiet and very, very subtle.

And that quiet, subtle power suggests to you again and again: "Hey, meditate. That's the way." And sometimes, you choose to listen to this second power, to this other power.

And then, again, you listen to the 'I'. That's normal. This second power I'm speaking about, this is your soul. This is not a part of you. That's more like that's who you really are, but you don't know this yet, and also this is normal. This is not a problem. But the more you meditate, the more strength this quiet, subtle part in you receives. It will grow more and more and more.

And what you describe is totally normal.

We meditate to discover who we really are, and that is a soul. And this false identity, this what you call 'I', this ego, this identification with the thoughts and the body, that doesn't want this; this is opposing it, naturally. So, in the beginning, when you start meditating, you are in a kind of a funny situation, because, basically, the effect of meditation is that this 'I' will lose its power. So, how to want to meditate? This is a tricky thing.

And that's why, Swamiji, this Indian Guru, my Guru, who is the one who is bringing the Samarpan Meditation into society... he has a great suggestion. He says, do it this way: make one decision. Make the decision that for 45 days, you will meditate every day. He puts it like this. He says: "Just donate this time to me." And if you don't feel any connection to this guru, to Swamiji, then donate it to God or to life or to me or whatever. It doesn't matter.

To meditate 45 days in a row, half an hour every day, this is a total of only 22 and a half hours. You just say: "Okay. I take these 22 and a half hours, and I donate them to God. I give them away. They do not belong to me anymore. During this half hour every day, I meditate without question, without thinking about it again every morning: do I want to meditate this morning or not?". If you do this, if you make this decision again every morning, the 'I' will win.

So, make the decision once, for 45 days. And this meditation is so amazing... although it feels like nothing, because it's so simple. But when you do the meditation for 45 days in a row, it will have had already enough impact on you that this soul in you got just a little bit stronger, and this 'I' got a tiny little bit weaker, and this is all what is needed so you can continue meditating every day.

The meditation is so easy, but it has to be done every day, otherwise, the 'I' will take back control of your life. It's inevitable. So, the trick is to want to meditate every day. I never make any exception. No matter how I feel, no matter how tired I am, no matter how sick I am, no matter how little time I have, this is my priority. I know: if I do this one thing, this one half an hour every morning, everything else will be fine.

And knowing this, I don't have any questions. But this wanting to meditate, nobody can do this for you, not even a Guru. If you believe in a Guru, if you are connected to a Guru, it is such a blessing in your life. It makes everything easier. It solves all of your problems. But the one thing which is really important, wanting to meditate, this is something you have to do yourself. That's the one thing.

So, this trick for the 45 days, it's like a challenge. These days, everybody likes to do challenges. Make a Meditation Challenge. And, actually, just the last few days, I was talking about this with somebody else. Maybe we will do a 45-day meditation challenge where we meet every few days and give opportunity to people to ask questions. Who knows? Maybe I do this once, because this is really helpful. So, if you feel like this, start today.

Start today with meditating for 45 days. And then, during the next 45 days, don't make decisions. Don't ask yourself: "Do I want this today or not?" You already made the decision today, and you just do it. And then, after 45 days, if you feel like it, tell me how it was. And if you feel like it, then just continue. And if after 45 days, you still don't want, then just forget it. Then, it's not for you. It's really that simple.

Thank you for this lovely question or report. But there's a second part to it.

The "I" does harmful things

"And the 'I' does things that are not good for it. It eats too much. It drinks too much. And I just watch."

Thank you. You really describe the whole challenge of mankind in two short sentences, and this is just amazing. Thank you.

Yes, that's what we do. We do, all the time, things which are not good for us, not only eating too much and drinking too much. The way we live, we identify with our thoughts, everything we do all the time, is not good for us. And at the same time, we don't want to do what's good for us: meditating. And that's our whole dilemma.

Now, here's a very important trick you have to know. Usually, when we notice that... Usually, when we notice what you just described... You notice: "Okay. I'm doing things which are just not good for me. What to do?" You notice, you eat too much. Your body gets sick, your body gets maybe overweight, you sleep bad, and so on. You notice: this doesn't go into the right direction, but you feel unable to change it. In a way, you don't want to change, and that's true.

And you notice: you drink too much, and you notice the effects it has on your body, on your life. And you don't like the effects. But at the same time, you notice: "There's something which does not want to change it, and I'm helpless. All I can do is watch." Other people have other favorite addictions. They smoke or take drugs, or they work too much, or whatever. There are many, many different kinds of things how we sabotage ourselves.

And the funny thing now is this. If you want to change this, you make it only worse. It's really like there's no way out.

But there is. The trick is to not want to change. The trick is to accept yourself as you are, totally, including too much eating and including the effects of it. Maybe you feel terrible after eating too much; allow this too. Welcome this. Then our tendency is to think: "Oh, I'm stupid. I should know it better. I should do it differently." But ignore the thoughts. They're not helpful. Accept, how it is. You feel like eating too much? Then eat too much. Don't try to change it. If you try to change it, you will make it only worse.

Same with the drinking. Don't try to drink less. I know you know it's not good for you. I know you have these thoughts: you should know it better; you should do it differently. But you know that this doesn't help. So, don't try to change yourself. Be the way you are. Accept how you feel. Accept what you do. Accept yourself as you are, totally, including everything – but meditate. Meditation will teach you this acceptance. This meditation is basically complete surrender: "Okay, I am the way I am.

I will not change. I will not try to be different. I don't try to get anywhere. I don't try to become a better person. I don't try to get holy. I am just the way I am." That's what we do during meditation. We give up any ambition. We give up any dream, any desire to change, we just start being the way we are, and this changes everything.

And by meditating on the crown chakra, at the same time, you get connected to a strength you don't know yet, but this strength will do all the work. You don't have to do anything. I promise you. I want to tell you an incident, or something that Swamiji, my Guru, reported. It's an amazing story.

What I recommend to you is not my own wisdom. I learned this from my spiritual master, and now my Guru, Swamiji, who brings the Samarpan Meditation, he says the same things. He was invited to speak at a clinic for alcoholics. In that clinic for alcoholics, there were only severe cases. All these people were drinking a lot of alcohol since a long time. And there was an event at this clinic where all kinds of doctors and experts and scientists were talking to these patients, trying to give them good advice on how to stop drinking and how to become sober and healthy.

And then, Swamiji got invited, and he went on stage, and he told these people something completely different. He said: "I don't care how much you drink. If you drink one bottle of booze today, drink two bottles tomorrow." The whole hall was in cheers. They loved this. That was the first time during this entire day where they felt joy and where they felt understood. There was this guy telling them: "Just drink as much as you want. And if you want, drink twice as much." So, they loved him immediately. So, he said: "If you want, drink twice as much tomorrow.

Don't try to change – but meditate." And he recommended this 45-day challenge to these people, what I just recommended to you. He said: "Meditate. Meditate for 45 days. Just try it. But don't try to change yourself." You don't meditate in order to change. You meditate to stop trying to do something. You meditate to stop trying to change yourself, to stop all this nonsense.

And they did. And after this 45-day meditation challenge, 90% of these alcoholics had stopped drinking, without wanting to stop. And the doctors did not know how this was possible.

The goal was not to stop drinking. But when you meditate, this soul in you, this power in you which knows the way, that gets strengthened, and this changes your entire life, but by itself, without you doing anything, without you even wanting to change. You don't have to want to become a better person. That doesn't work.

So, don't worry about this 'I' in you who doesn't want to meditate, who doesn't want to be healthy, who doesn't want to give up all these bad habits. Don't touch this 'I'. Don't worry about it. Don't try to convince it. Don't try to change it. Don't try to change yourself.

Let everything the way it is. Let yourself be the way you are. Just start meditating every day, like a hobby. It's totally unserious. You don't start meditating to do something. You don't start meditating because you want something specific to happen afterwards. No. You just you give all of this up, all of these wishes, all of these hopes.

You just meditate because it feels good. You just sit there, and you rest with your attention there, and it feels just lovely and peaceful for moments. You just do it like a hobby, just because it's fun, like a child playing without any purpose, and that will do everything.

Thank you for your two lovely reports.

So, let's see.

I read the next email.

Unconditional love

"Maybe you would like to talk about unconditional love. I would be really happy about that."

Wow. This is a lovely topic.

It's funny.

When I would try to talk about unconditional love, this would imply that there's also love which is not unconditional. But if it's love, it is unconditional. If it is not unconditional, it's not love.

Normally, what we call love... You know, you meet somebody, and you 'love' this person: you long for this person's company, you long for this person's attention and touch and kiss, whatever.

You want to be loved. You don't want to be alone. You just love the company of the other. And you call this 'love'.

But when you look really closely, this is not love, it's just neediness. There's nothing wrong with neediness. We, as human beings, have certain needs, and there's nothing wrong with us, but to call it 'love' leads us astray. This is like it creates a funny illusion, and then we say: "I need love". We tell the other: "I need your love. Don't leave me. I need you. I need your love." We don't need the love at all. We just want the attention of the other, the company of the other, we don't want to feel alone, and by calling it 'love', it gets this holy dressing.

And when one person separates from another, we say: "But I need you!" That's the truth. We feel needy. We don't need the other one, in reality, but we feel like it. So, all this has nothing to do with love. This is just neediness. This is just wishes. We want something, and then we call it 'love'.

If you go to somebody and say: "I want you to give me this, I want you to spend time with me, I want you to kiss me"... And then we say: "Are you crazy? What's wrong with you?" But if we say: "I love you. I love you so much!", then we are open. But it's all the same, just nicer words. I remember, when I was, I don't know, 14 years old, in school, I fell in love for the first few times with girls in the school, and I tried to get their attention. I tried to get into contact with them. Everything was totally exciting, and, of course, I didn't know what to do.

And at that time, when somebody fell in love with somebody else, we called it "he wants something from her", or, "she wants something from him". This was the way we described what was going on. We felt shy. We didn't want to say "he has a crush on her" or "he's in love with her". We said: "he wants something from her". That was our casual way of expressing this, and this is surprisingly true. This really hits the point. When we feel love towards somebody, in reality, we want something, but we don't know it.

We are totally blind to what we actually are doing there, because we don't know ourselves. We don't know our neediness. We don't like our neediness, so we ignore it. But then, we meet another person and we think: ah, there we can get everything we need. And we feel this as this feeling we call 'love', but it's neediness. And that's why all the relationships are so complicated and so difficult; not because of love, but just because two needy people, two beggars, come together, and this is always very difficult.

Love is something else. It's like this: when you experience your life, and you experience what you call 'love' with other people, and then you discover: "It doesn't work out. I love this guy so much, but now I find out he's an idiot. He's totally different than I thought. He betrayed me. He's not good. He doesn't love me." And then, you try this again, and then you think: "Ah, but he is different." You're totally in love, and he's great. But then, after a few years, you find out: "He is also just a man. He betrayed me. He's not like I thought he is.

I don't get there what I want." And when this happens to you often enough... in my case, it took a long time until I clued in... you notice: "Wait a moment. What's going on here? Maybe that what I'm looking for is not where I'm looking at." And that's the clue. And when you are at that point in your life, something changes. First, you notice: it doesn't work. You notice:" I don't get the love I wanted." And then, there are two different things which usually happen. Either you think: you do something wrong. That was my strategy. I had a relationship.

I was married a few times. And then, there was this point where it didn't work, we separated, and I was heartbroken, I was desperate, but I thought: it's my fault. If I would be different, if I would know how to have a relationship, if I would be better, whatever, if I would overcome my childhood trauma or whatever it is, then, then love would work. That's what I did in my life. Other people do something else, they blame the other: "He's an idiot. He's wrong. If he would be different, then we could have a good relationship."

But in either way, in either case, it's not the truth. And at some point in your life, you begin to suspect that you look at the wrong places. And that's the moment... When you are at this point in your life, you meet a spiritual master or a Guru or some other teacher or a funny guy like me who makes videos about this. And then you hear me speak about this, and then you know: "This is the truth." You don't understand it. You don't know why it's the truth, but you know there's something to it, otherwise, you wouldn't listen.

And the truth hidden in there is: it's about you returning to yourself. It's about you facing the other direction: turning inside. That's why meditation is so tremendously helpful. All of our lives, we only look outside. We look for what we need out there, and it's not there. And at some point, you start turning around, facing inwards, and then, you start finding.

You know, when you were a very tiny little child, just born, you were really needy, physically. We have this heritage as humans... Humans belong to a kind of animal, I don't know the English word, the correct English word, but we are animals which need to be carried after they were born. All the chimpanzees, many, many apes and other animals are like this, kangaroos.

It's like this: when we are born, when we leave the womb of the mother, we are not ready yet. We are unable to live by ourselves. With other animals, it's different. When a horse gets born, the baby horse gets born, and after a few minutes, it gets up on the feet, it starts following the mother and is part of the herd. But we humans can't do this. We cannot walk. We cannot do anything. We are completely unfinished.

So, we are born, and then we belong to this kind of animals where the babies need to be carried totally close to the mother for a long time after they left the womb, and this was naturally done in ancient societies. The mother gave birth to the child, and the child was just being put totally close to the mother with cloth, here on the chest or on the back, and then, the mothers went on living, went on doing their work, whatever they needed to do, but the child was always close.

The child didn't need very special things. It needs to be nursed once in a while, and then, just carried around day and night, the whole time, as if it's still in the womb. That's what we need as this kind of animal.

But in civilization, in modern civilization like we have it since a few 1000 years, we stopped doing this. The young child is immediately separated from the mother, put alone into a bed, and that's why we all are cuckoo. We are all nuts. We feel we're all crazy. This most essential need we have as babies: being carried around incessantly the whole time for months and months and months after birth, never leaving the contact with the mother, never being alone... we didn't have this.

And that's why we have this amazing longing for intimacy and touch, and that's why we have such an amazingly hard time being alone. But now, you're not a baby anymore. The time is over where this helps you, and that's what you find out with relationship. You have a relationship, and you're totally in love, but after a while, you find out: this what you really need, he can't give me. This what you really need, she can't give you. And it is like this. Now, as an adult, another person cannot give this to you anymore.

This is over. But you can give it to yourself: when you start taking your attention and giving yourself your attention, your soul... when you start meditating, when you start loving yourself as you are, when you start accepting your feelings as they are, your loneliness, your neediness, your craziness, your strangeness... And when you just meditate every day, just like a mother carries the baby around for month months, you just meditate every morning, and you are with your soul.

You establish a connection you never had in your life, but you always wanted it, and you always needed it. And that's why we are here in this life: to discover this connection to ourselves.

And when you discover this, then you discover somethhing like a well, a spring of power, of love. Suddenly, you discover that from where all what you need comes from, in you, just by meditating.

You don't try to solve any childhood trauma. You don't try to understand anything, you don't do therapy, you don't try to find out what happened in your life. All you do is... It's like you go the direct way. You don't try to understand first and then apply the solution. You just apply the solution instantly, and that is: giving yourself attention and finding out who you are, and that's happening through meditation.

And people who do this discover this well of energy, this well of love, inside. It's always there, absolutely dependable, and this changes everything. And then, for the first time in your life, you become full. Your neediness gets satisfied.

And at some point, there's no neediness left. You're just full, and you're still connected to this well, and you're overfull, and then you overflow. You just overflow. You don't give anybody anything. You're not in love with somebody. You're just resting in you, but you are overflowing with this energy, and other people perceive this as love. That's what happened around Jesus. Jesus said: "Put God first". In his words, that meant: turn inside. He often spoke about: "Turn around!"

He said, you face outwards, you look for everything you want and need on the outside. Turn inwards, that's where God is. Turn around. Face inwards. Give God attention. This means: looking inside, finding your soul, meditate. Jesus said: "Pray". That's meditation. Surrender. He was speaking about nothing else. And then, when you do this... That's what Jesus did all the time. He surrendered. He didn't worry at all about the outside. He didn't worry about where he got food, where he could sleep.

He was only looking inside, giving his soul attention, and through this, he was totally connected to the source, to that what we call God. And he became so satisfied and so full that it overflowed, and people around him just felt such a powerful love and compassion. But it was not that he was running around giving other people anything. He didn't worry about other people. He was resting inside, resting in God, and this overflowing energy benefited everybody around him, and that's love. The other is neediness.

And this love, which happens out of this overflow, is, of course, unconditional. There is nobody giving anything. It just overflows. It's like the sun radiating in all directions. Such a Jesus, such a Guru, such a human being, doesn't decide in which direction to overflow. He is not concerned about this at all. He's just resting inside. He's resting in his soul. He's closer than close with God.

This overflow happens by itself, and it goes in all directions, and that's why it's absolutely unconditional. That's love. Thank you for your question.

Let's see how much I can still answer. I read the next email. I received this email from India.

Being true to yourself

"As you know, I'm currently in India at Swamiji's ashram. Preparations are underway for today's festival, which is being held as a thank you for all the volunteers here. But I probably won't be there. Actually, I wanted to sing on stage during the performance, but I feel such an aversion against this whole celebration. The Indians are world champions at celebrating. They're really nice, but this is not for me. I'm at my end with this. Now the thought occurred to me that I'm not facing my fear or feelings or running away from them.

I generally only stay a certain amount of time at parties, even at smaller ones, and then I leave. It just gets too much for me, and I want to be alone again. It's not really anxiety, just a feeling of discomfort. Then I tell myself that I don't have to force myself to do anything, and I only do what I enjoy and like doing as much as possible. Of course, there have always been and still are small challenges where I simply do my duty. I just do what's necessary and what has to be done. And I do that, and I'm reliable. How do you see it when you read my words?"

Thank you. Thank you for your report from India.

That's just how we feel, not only you.

We see how other people do things, and we compare ourselves, and we feel wrong. We always feel we should be like the others, and the others think they should be like you. They probably admire you when you're so quiet with yourself, and you admire them, and you think you should be like them. That's how we are as humans. But you are on the right track. You said: you just do what you feel to do.

You just do what feels good for you, and that's the right way. This is how God speaks to you. Life tells us what we should do by giving us energy for certain things and by not giving us energy for other things. If you feel: "This is fun, I want to do this", that's life speaking to you. And if life wants you to not do something, it doesn't give you any energy for it. And even if you want to, you feel unable to do it. That's life speaking to you.

And that's all you have to know. That's a good compass: your joy. What gives you joy? Not necessarily fun... We do things which are not fun. Sometimes we do things which are hard, which are difficult, but somehow, it gives us joy. We know: this should be done. I should be doing this, and it gives us happiness, and that's a good compass.

And it's particularly difficult when we are around other spiritual people. I don't know why, but in such a situation, it's particularly difficult for us to be true to ourselves and to follow our own compass, because we think the others know it better: "I should be celebrating. I should be outwardly happy, but I'm not. I'm a bad disciple. I do it wrong."

But it's the other way around. When you are around a guru, when you are around a truly spiritual person, this person emanates liberty, freedom. And in the surroundings of such a person, around the aura of such a person, everything in you finally is allowed to come up. All the things you usually don't like to feel get permission to come up by the freedom of this spiritual person, and then you can't help it but be the way you are.

And all the other things in you come up too: your feeling wrong, your feeling inadequate, it all comes up. That's a good sign. It's a blessing. Be the way you are. Swamiji, the Guru who is the reason that you are there in the first place, he says: "Don't try to change. Don't try to be different. That's not the task. Meditate." And 'meditate' means: become even more the way you are.

For me, it's the same, you know. When I met Swamiji for the first time in my life... I didn't meet him in person. Six and a half years ago, my spiritual master, Soham, told me about Swamiji, and I instantly knew: "Oh, wow. This is for me. That's the way." Instantly, I felt the deepest connection to him. The moment before, I didn't know anything about him. I didn't know anything. I heard about him, and I felt this connection, and this connection I feel to this day, it didn't change.

But I've never been to India. After Swamiji came into my life and into the life of my spiritual master Soham, many people started to go to India, including Soham. Soham went to India, and his wife and many of his disciples, and I was part of his crew at that time, traveling with him. Many of the crew members went to India for some weeks or some month. And me, I didn't feel any energy for this. I felt totally connected to this Guru inside. For me, India was inside.

For me, the Guru was inside. I didn't need to go to India, but, occasionally, I wondered: "Should I go? Is this important for my spiritual development?" But Swamiji himself says: "The true connection is inside. The Guru is inside, not outside." The Guru is not outside. That's what he says. The Guru is inside. So, whenever you are true to yourself, whenever you turn inwards, and whenever you meditate, you are closest to yourself and closest to the Guru and closest to God.

And that's why I recommend to anybody and to everybody: be true to yourself, then you are closest to God. Don't try to change. This brings you away from yourself and away from God. Don't try to change, but meditate. Then you're closest to yourself, closest to the Guru, closest to God, closest to life, closest to Heaven. So, there's nothing wrong. You do it great. I'm very happy. Thank you for your report.

So, let's see whether I still have a little bit of time left. Let's see how far we get. I have so many beautiful questions, and I love to answer these questions, and I don't want to stop.

What we do during meditation

I read the next email. "I have been practicing Samarpan Meditation for about one month now. It is very exciting to observe the process that happens through it. And I have noticed two things.

Before the meditation, we say this mantra:" I am a holy soul. I am a pure soul", and I feel the need to add some words to it. What I add is: 'I'm a pure soul in a wonderful human body'. I just don't want to split off this human level."

There's a second part to this, but I want to briefly stop and say something about it here at this point.

This human body we live in is amazing. You're right, it's truly beautiful, and we just can be totally grateful for it. There's nothing wrong with the body. There's no need to split off the body, to not be grateful for it, and there's no need to think that there's something unholy about the body or anything wrong. However, in meditation, we do something else. You see, this body is beautiful. I love my body, and I'm totally grateful, but I am not this body.

I am something else. And in meditation, it is about connecting to this what we really are. I am a holy soul. I am a pure soul. And you are the soul, and you were the soul before the body was here. You are the soul after the body is long gone. You're right. Right now, this soul you are is in a beautiful body, but this is not the important point. You know, we are completely identified with this body. Mostly, we feel: I am this body.

We feel the thoughts the body has: these are my thoughts; the wishes and the desires the body has: these are my wishes, my desires. That's how we speak. That's how we feel it. When there is worry and fear in the body, we feel it's my worry. I'm scared. We are totally, absolutely identified with this physical existence, and we don't know the soul. We have no idea what we truly are, and the meditation is the pathway to discover this and to strengthen that awareness of this.

When you start the Samarpan Meditation, for the first time you rest with your attention here (at the crown chakra). And for me, it's like this is the one point of my body where I can sense something else, where I can sense my true identity, without going into imagination or any funny other thing. So, you're right. The body is beautiful, but we don't have to worry about the body. We are so identified with it; we don't have to strengthen this.

We want to strengthen our connection to the soul, because, ultimately, we don't have anything to do with the body. This is not to say that there's anything wrong with the body, but it's not helpful if we identify with the body, when, in reality, we are a soul. Then we act very, very funnily in this life, and that's what we do everywhere, out of this erroneous identification.

So, don't worry. My own experience is like this... people worry that when they meditate, when they forget the thoughts, when they go away with their attention from the thoughts, from the feelings, from the body, and just rest here for this half an hour in the morning... Some people have the feeling: "Well, I'm neglecting that which is also important." But my advice to you is: don't worry about it at this point.

You will discover things which you don't know anything about right now. For me, it is like this: since I live as a soul, I cherish and appreciate this body more than ever. It is even so that only now that I am not identified with the body, only now can I really appreciate the body, now that I'm not identified with it anymore; now that it's not important for me anymore how the body feels, how the body is doing, and what the body is doing.

The more I discover my true identity, the more I rest in my soul, the more I enjoy life and the body. It's all not important anymore, but now I can see its beauty, now I can enjoy its beauty. So, don't worry about it. I would not add anything to this mantra. Take this half an hour to turn to that which you don't know at all. And for this, you really have to let go of everything else, just for half an hour, just as a game. It's not serious. And don't worry. After this half an hour, the body is still there. It's waiting for you.

And there was a second part to this.

Neither holding up light nor excluding shadow

"And I have noticed that the shadows then also show themselves, like guilt, all the impurities on a human level. I don't just want to hold up the light. I also want to notice and perceive the shadow coming from the Source. Can you say something about this?"

Thank you, this is so beautiful. I'm so happy that you write this. You know, there are many meditations out there, and now that I know the Samarpan Meditation, I must say that everything what I met in the past was not meditation at all. Many of these so-called meditations involve some imaginations, some mental creativity. And usually we imagine light, and often we reject the darkness.

But this is not happening in the Samarpan Meditation. In the Samarpan Meditation, we don't imagine anything. We don't hold up a light, and we don't reject the darkness. But we do neither with it. There's no light involved and no darkness. We just rest here, knowing nothing, wanting nothing, not holding up anything, not rejecting anything.

When we run into the light, we go away. When we worry about the darkness, we go away. But in this meditation, we don't do any of this.

And then, something interesting happens. You know, you don't have to worry about the darkness. I will tell you what will happen. Maybe you already found out. It is like this: when people start meditating with the Samarpan Meditation, you begin to come close to yourself, and you begin to open up. You don't even know how this is possible. It happens by itself.

And when you start coming close to yourself, when you start opening up, usually, what happens for many people is that they begin to discover all of their difficult and dark sides, and that is good. Many people don't like this. Some people think they do something wrong when this happens, but this is not the case. You just begin to discover all the things you never wanted to see, but which were there all the time. That's what you call the darkness: these impurities of the physical existence.

And then, they come up. We see them. We make peace with them. We don't have to do anything with them. They're not a problem.

When they come up, we just allow it. We just accept everything. And then, if we feel good, we can also allow this. But we don't hold on to the darkness. We don't hold on to the light. We don't look for darkness, and we don't look for light. We just rest here at this magic spot, and all the darkness in us will get healed. I promise you. This is my personal experience. So, you don't have to be afraid that by meditating the Samarpan Meditation, you are pushing away something. I understand where you come from.

There are meditations out there where this is being done, where people focus on something beautiful and, naturally, by doing this, reject the darkness. But both is not good. We just rest in the crown chakra, not looking for anything, not holding up anything, not wanting anything, not knowing what should be. We don't know what is light and what is darkness. Many things we think is light are dark, and many things where we think that's darkness, you will find out this actually is light. So, we have no clue. We don't know where to go, but just resting here is safe.

That's why I love the Samarpan Meditation so much. I always... just like you, I felt kind of suspicious about anything which involves my imagination, because I can't trust myself. I don't want to look for something or reject anything, and this meditation does neither of it. This meditation puts you at a safe spot, and this is amazing. So, don't worry. You are safe there, really safe. I don't know whether I was able to answer you clearly for you. If you have more questions to it, please, write to me again. Thank you.

Let's see.

I will answer one more email, and then I have to stop.

Space for feelings

"I'm grateful to you for today's video and for being able to spend time with you in silence. I was very sad today, and that is not a bad thing. Sometimes, it seems like something is working in me. And if I allow the sadness and then I ask for it to be healed, then I can let go of the responsibility for all of this. The reason for my sadness is hidden from me. On the surface, I like to associate it with my son, but as soon as I write down what bothers me or what makes me cry, I realize that this is all not true.

Often, I get sad when he is sad and when he isolates himself. There's a suffocating atmosphere in the house that I can't get go of, but where I feel at home in. I could go out into nature, or I could do drawings or something else useful, but, instead, I sit here and I suffer, because the situation is not what I want it to be. Your video often makes me smile, and then I feel nice."

Thank you. Thank you for your report.

We don't have to understand anything. You do not have to understand where the sadness is coming from.

It doesn't help. You can go directly to the solution. Usually, we do it like this: first, we discover why we are the way we are, and this helps us somehow to accept the way we are. But we can start with the solution immediately. It's much easier. Just accept yourself. Accept the sadness. Give the sadness space in you. Allow it to be there, but not to transform it, not so that the sadness can go away.

No. Just give it space. Let it be there whenever it wants. I love sadness. I love it totally. When sadness visits me, it is so welcome. And when sadness leaves, I say: "Thank you. And anytime you want to come back, please come back, sadness, there's always room for you in me." And this way you can do it with any feeling you have, with the feeling of feeling suffocated at home, with everything.

You don't have to change yourself. You don't have to change the situation. You say:...then you can give up the responsibility, and that's the good path. That's the good way. Give up the responsibility. Be with what is there for you, and know that you don't have to change it.

And that's what we practice when we meditate, when we do the Samarpan Meditation, and when we just rest with our attention in the crown chakra. And you can do this also outside of meditation. You walk through your house, and you feel the atmosphere. Just be in the crown. Accept everything. Accept this helplessness of not knowing what to do with all of this.

The more you can accept yourself and the situation, and the more you can accept your son as he is, the more you can resist the temptation to want him to change or to want you to change or to want the situation to change, the easier it is. You will notice: as soon as you arrive fully in the situation where you find yourself in, it will change, and you have no idea how this is possible.

Thank you for your question. There's nothing wrong.

To repeat what I said earlier when I quoted Swamiji: don't change yourself. Don't change your son. Don't expect change. Don't want change. Just meditate.

Thank you.

Support me if it gives you joy

And if you have questions, you who is listening right now, if you have questions which you would like to tell me, please write to me. I'm totally happy to receive your questions.

Your questions inspire me. And, you know, all of us, we have the same questions. And the solution is the same for all of us. This is amazing. This is so amazing. That's why I love to speak about these questions so so much. So, when you send me your questions, you don't bother me. You make me happy. It's a joy for me, and an inspiration.

And if you like my videos, if you feel supported by it, and if you want to contribute something to it, you can help me by financially supporting me a little bit. As you know, everything I do is free of charge. All of my content is free. I want it like this. I find this is important, because whatever I share here is not mine. I received it in 20, 25 years with my spiritual master.

I received it in many years from my Guru through the meditation. This is all not mine. I'm just telling you about it. I'm just passing it on. So, I can't charge for it. I don't want to charge for it. But, naturally, just for practical reasons... I spend a lot of my time and I spend my money for making this possible, and when many people support me with this just a little bit, then it's much easier for me, and much more possible.

And even if you can contribute just a small amount per month, this is such a gift for me and makes me so happy. So, if you feel joy doing this, just go on my website, there is the 'Membership' page, and there I tell you in detail how this is possible. And it's totally free. You can listen to me without paying, and it will stay like this. I can't do it in any other way. And now I have to stop for today.

Thank you for being here. Thank you so much.

I love you.