The End of Neediness

Good morning.

I am so happy that I can record another video this morning.

During the last one and a half months, I was so busy that I had only little chance to record videos, and now I am really ready. I had exciting times. In the beginning of October, I experienced a few beautiful Satsangs in Austria. This was a very beautiful and deep experience for me to be together with other people in Satsang.

And it was a beautiful seminar place, and it just happened that I found out that I can have my first two retreats, my first two Satsang retreats at that seminar house in Austria next next year. Lately, during the last few months, I felt occasionally that maybe one day, I will also offer retreats where people can come to me for a week and sit in Satsang with me and we talk. But I thought: "Ah, this will be at some point, but not now."

But then I was there, and it just happened by itself, so easily. And now I'm really excited. But, of course, it requires quite some preparation and organization to prepare this and to make it possible that people can sign up.

English Satsangs and Retreats

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And at the same time, what happened was that my English videos, videos like this you are watching right now, have gained a lot of popularity. You know... I'm sure you hear this: I'm German, and I'm a native German. So, naturally, I do all of my videos in German. But since I started doing videos one and a half years ago, it was very clear from the beginning that I should also do all of my videos in English, and in the beginning, I didn't even know why.

I just had this clear feeling that all of this what is being created through me, should also happen in English. And in the beginning, only very few people watched my English content, but now, lately, this has changed, and now, a lot of people watch my English videos as well. And I realized: now it is time. I also want to invite English speaking people to my Online Satsangs and also to the retreats.

And I tried a few things, and now I know how I can do this. I will offer my first English Online Satsang at the end of December, on December 28th. If you like... I'm really happy if you feel like participating. It's, of course, free of charge, and if you're interested: on my website, on the event page, there you'll find information about this.

And in the retreats... Next year, I will have 2 beautiful retreats, 1 week each. One is in May, and one is in the beginning of December. And during these wo retreats... I call them international retreats, because I will have German Satsangs every day, but I also will have one English Satsang every day of the retreat, so that those participants who do not speak German can also participate and enjoy Satsang.

And of course, also this required a lot of preparation work and trying out, but now I can also invite people like you to my Online Satsangs and to my retreats. And now, most of this preparation work is over, and I can sit again in front of the camera. I was really missing that. If you're interested in the retreats: on my website, on the Retreat page, you'll find all the information you need, and I would be delighted to meet you in a retreat. It's a beautiful place in Austria.

We will have a great time there.

Handwritten letters

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So, today, I want to make a video where I answer letters and where I answer the questions which I received through these letters. And, you know, I not only answer questions which I receive through email, I also invite you to write to me with a real letter, handwritten. And in this video, I have I have a whole bunch of beautiful letters which I have not answered so far, and this I want to do today. I will answer the questions from these handwritten letters.

And if you have questions, you can write to me via email or write a letter to me. And when you write a letter to me, I will write back. You will also receive a handwritten letter from me. But the actual answer to a question or to an issue, I always give in a video, like today, because I would like everybody to enjoy the question and the answer. Yeah. If you want to write to me on the ask me page on my website, you find my contact information.

Support me if it gives you joy

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And before I start, one more piece of information.

Everything I do here, including this video, is free of charge. You can watch all of my videos. You can participate in my Online Satsangs, and it's all free, simply because that what I'm talking about is priceless. It's not mine. I just pass it on. I received it as a gift from my Master, from my Guru, and I just want to pass it on just as free.

But just for practical reasons, I am very happy if you have joy supporting my work financially, simply because I need a lot of time and energy to do this. And if people support me, then I have enough time and I can dedicate more energy to this. And there is nothing I want to do more than this. So, if you feel like supporting me, on the Donate page of my website, you'll find information about this. And I am very happy about every single person who feels like doing this.

Everybody is needy

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But now, let's start with the letters and with the questions.

"Dear Mikael, today, I have a question about being needy, about neediness. How does this arise? And how can it be alleviated or satisfied? Sometimes I have the impression that everyone is needy and doesn't even realize it. Thank you for your words on this subject."

Thank you for this question. Yes, you are right. Everybody is needy, and most people don't even know it. They live their lives, driven. They want to achieve something. They put all of their energy into success or career or love, relationship, or fame, or security, or whatever, and they don't even know why.

Everybody is needy, and most people don't even know it. They live their lives, driven. They want to achieve something. They put all of their energy into success or career or love, relationship, or fame, or security, or whatever, and they don't even know why.

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But at the bottom of the lives of most people is neediness. They look for something they need, and they look for it out there in the world, in life, in a relationship, in the job, and they don't find it.

At the bottom of the lives of most people is neediness. They look for something they need, and they look for it out there in the world, in life, in a relationship, in the job, and they don't find it.

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And this neediness which drives so many people is old. And most people carry around this neediness all of their lives, simply because they do not know what this neediness is about. They don't know what they need. And that's why they don't know where to look for it.

People think they need security in this insecure, unpredictable life.

But no matter what you try, no matter how much money you have, no matter how much protection you seem to have, one unpredictable incident in life and all of your security is gone. Or people look for love in other people. But one day is enough, and that person you love is gone.

But this neediness is old. So old that even in the Bible, it's being talked about – this search, this search people have for something they don't even know.

And then, some people come to a point in life where they tried everything they know... They succeeded everywhere. Maybe they found a great partner. Maybe they became really successful in life.

And when they achieved everything they thought they could achieve, then they find out: "I am still not satisfied. I am still looking. It's still not enough."

Some people come to a point in life where they tried everything. Maybe they found a great partner or became really successful in life. And when they achieved everything they thought they could achieve, then they find out: "I am still not satisfied. I am still looking. It's still not enough."

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If you are a person who looks for this satisfaction in a relationship, maybe you know this. You have a wonderful relationship, you have the best partner you can imagine, but it's not enough. And if you look for this in a relationship, maybe then you have affairs. You look for it with other people because you think: "Maybe I have the wrong person." It's not there.

And if you tried this long enough, then you know: "It is not there." But you don't know where it is.

There's a story from The Bee Gees, the most successful music band in history. And I read some interview with one of them where he said that at the peak of the success... the whole world admired them. They made so much money. They acquired so much fame. And he said: "...and it's nothing. I realized: it doesn't give me anything."

One of the American presidents, I read a story about him. I forgot who it was, but it touched me, this story.

At the peak of his life, when this man achieved everything he could imagine is worthwhile... He became the president of his country. He became the president of the United States of America. And in that night when he won the election, he was sitting in his office at home.

His wife came in, and he was sitting there totally sad, almost crying. And she said: "What's wrong with you? What what's happening? You just achieved the greatest success in your life." And he is being quoted saying: "Yes. I achieved everything a man can achieve, and I just realize: it doesn't give me anything. I still am not happy."

So, people come to this point in life where they realize: "I looked for it everywhere, and I didn't find it." They are still needy. They are still looking.

People come to this point in life where they realize: "I looked for it everywhere, and I didn't find it." They are still needy. They are still looking.

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Normal people who don't have a grand career, they look for it in their normal life, and then... It's interesting. You just get old enough, and then you know: "Everything I try, it doesn't work. It doesn't give me that what I am looking for.

I am still looking – I don't even know for what." This is called midlife crisis. When you are old enough, when you have lived long enough, tried enough things, when you are old enough that enough of your dreams got shattered and all of your attempts fail, even when you are successful – especially when you are successful –, then you realize: "I don't know how this life works." You lose hope. You get disillusioned. That's called 'midlife crisis'.

You just get old enough, and then you know: "Everything I try doesn't give me that what I am looking for. I am still looking – I don't even know for what." This is called midlife crisis. You realize: "I don't know how this life works." You lose hope. You get disillusioned. That's called 'midlife crisis'.

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And some people who are at this point in their life where they enter midlife crisis, or when they had all the success they could possibly achieve and still realize: "That what I'm looking for, I have not gained"... Some of these people then turned inwards. Some of these people go on a completely new path, and then they find what they were looking for all along, out there, in life. But it's not there. And this is what I am talking about in my videos.

And some people, when they had all the success they could possibly achieve and still realize: "That what I'm looking for, I have not gained"... Some of these people then turned inwards and go on a completely new path, and then they find what they were looking for all along, out there, in life. But it's not there.

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I am talking about the one thing which fulfills the neediness – this neediness every single human being carries around with him or with her.

This is what I am talking about in my videos. I am talking about the one thing which fulfills the neediness – this neediness every single human being carries around with him or with her.

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And you find this what you are looking for inside. But the 'inside' I am talking about, you don't know. Maybe when I say this word, you don't even know what I am talking about. And this is not a surprise. I am talking about something you don't know yet.

I am not talk about your feelings or your thoughts.

I am talking about an 'inside' which has nothing to do with this body and with the thoughts and the feelings which belong to the body.

If you know my videos, you know that I am frequently talking about the Samarpan Meditation. And this is a way... when you meditate for a while, for some weeks or month or years, then you discover that what I call 'inside'.

And to your big surprise, there, in that direction where you have never looked, there, where you didn't even know that this exists, there you find that what you always were looking for out there, in the world: the bread of life. I think, Jesus called it like this.

When you meditate for a while, then you discover that what I call 'inside'. And there, in that direction where you have never looked, there, where you didn't even know that this exists, there you find that what you always were looking for out there, in the world: the bread of life – Jesus called it like this.

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It's like when you discover this 'inside', or when you put your attention to this 'inside' rather than looking out there in the world, then, there you find like a well, a timeless, eternal well, and that satisfies your neediness.

When you discover this 'inside', or when you put your attention to this 'inside' rather than looking out there in the world, then, there you find like a well, a timeless, eternal well, and that satisfies your neediness.

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And in your letter, you say you have the impression that everybody is needy, but most people don't even know it.

And this is because most people have no idea that there is a different dimension to life. I want to call it like this today.

You see, God – that what Jesus was talking about –, or Heaven – that's how I call it –, this is not some abstract idea. It's something tangible, it's something real, but most people don't know anything about it. And that was what Jesus was talking about: God, Heaven, this is something you discover in you. And when you discover this, then it's like you discover everything you ever needed.

God – that what Jesus was talking about –, or Heaven – that's how I call it –, this is not some abstract idea. It's something tangible, something real.

God, Heaven, this is something you discover in you. And when you discover this, then it's like you discover everything you ever needed.

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But it's not an idea. It's not a belief. I'm not interested in beliefs or dreams. I'm not interested in some promise, something I will discover once I die or something like this. I am only interested in practical things, things I can discover and experience by myself. And that's what I am talking about.

And that's why I talk about this meditation in basically every one of my videos: because when you start meditating, when you turn inwards, when you discover this 'inwards', there you discover the satisfaction. And then, this neediness which cannot be alleviated by anything in the world, that gets satisfied, in no time, just by you looking at the right place.

When you start meditating, when you turn inwards, when you discover this 'inwards', there you discover the satisfaction. And then, this neediness which cannot be alleviated by anything in the world, that gets satisfied, in no time, just by you looking at the right place.

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And that's why I make videos: to tell people about this well, this possibility.

Thank you for your question.

Meditate - and then: live

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So, let's go on to the next one.

This is a letter which touches me very much. And, you know, I receive two kinds of questions. I receive questions which touch spiritual issues, like this first question about neediness.

But then I receive questions about totally practical things in life. And I love both questions, because the spiritual path, this path to God, this path to discover your true identity, your soul, your 'inside', this path consists of two aspects. And the one is the spiritual aspect, like meditating. I tell you: meditate every morning for half an hour.

But then, after you meditated for half an hour, after you remembered where you find yourself and true satisfaction, then you live for the remaining 23 and a half hours of the day your practical life. And this is important. Life does not consist of sitting in a corner, meditating all day. This is not how you mature and how you grow.

This path to God, this path to discover your true identity, your soul, your 'inside', consists of two aspects. The one is the spiritual aspect, like meditating. But after you meditated for half an hour, after you remembered where you find yourself and true satisfaction, then you live the remaining day your practical life. And this is important.

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You meditate for half an hour, and this gives you the direction inside.

And with this direction, with this awareness, then you go out into the world. Then you live your practical life, for the rest of your day. And this is the training ground, and the test. There you experience where you stand at, how strong you have become, or how weak you still are. And it's important. These both aspects together, they are the speedway. They are the Autobahn. If you only live your practical life, you don't progress at all, because you have the wrong direction. You only look outside.

Life does not consist of sitting in a corner, meditating all day. This is not how you mature and how you grow. You meditate for half an hour, and this gives you the direction inside. And with this direction, with this awareness, then you go out into the world. Then you live your practical life, for the rest of your day.

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But if you reject the outside world – if you think: I don't want to have anything to do with this; it's not real anyway; I only want to turn inside –, then you just replace one illusion with another. But to remember the right direction and then, with this awareness, to go into practical life as a human being – this is the path. This is the way. And that's why I like these practical questions so much because with these practical questions, they are the test.

If you only live your practical life, you don't progress at all, because you have the wrong direction. You only look outside. But if you reject the world and think it's not real anyway, then you just replace one illusion with another. But to remember the right direction and then, with this awareness, go into practical life as a human being – this is the path. This is the way.

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These problems I encounter in practical life, in relationship, in the job, with other people, with my fears, with my feelings, they point me again and again to that what really works. They remind me again and again where the real solution is to be found. So, this as a pretext for this letter, because this letter is about the practical aspects of this life.

These problems I encounter in practical life, in relationship, in the job, with other people, with my fears, with my feelings, they point me again and again to that what really works. They remind me again and again where the real solution is to be found.

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Discontentment

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"Dear Dhyan, it's about the sexual relationship with my husband. We haven't really had a sexual relationship for years, and we have little physical contact otherwise. We love each other, but if I don't approach him, nothing really happens. But I wish that he would approach me. However, I don't find his way of approaching me appealing, and I shut down immediately. It doesn't turn me on. He doesn't try it very often either, and he can't develop or try out any new ways of doing it.

But we both want to be together physically. Another physical issue is that I can't find a suitable dance partner. I love dancing, and I would love to express myself physically. I think it's a shame that my body can't live up to its potential. I practice the Course in Miracles, and I'm just starting with your meditation, and I let life take effect. Can you tell me something about this?"

Thank you for your letter. I'm so touched when people write me their most personal issues and problems in their life. First, I want to say that this is not 'my meditation', although I talk about it all the time. This meditation I learned from the Guru whose disciple I am, Swamiji – Shiv Krupanand Swami. He brings this amazing meditation from the Himalayas into society. So, I didn't invent this meditation. I am just a meditator like you.

And if you want to know more about the meditation, I made some videos dedicated specifically to this meditation. And on my website, you find the Meditation page, and there, you find more information about this.

So, about your questions, about your issues... In a way, it is exactly like what I was speaking about in the beginning of this video, when the lady from the first letter said that she has impression that most people have this neediness and don't even know it. You see, I read your letter, and what I see is your discontentment. You are not content, and you are convinced that if you would have a better sex life, then you would find contentment.

If you could express yourself physically better in dancing, if you would only have the right partner to do this, then you would be content.

And you believe this, and I can't blame you for this.

But as I said in the first answer: the real cause of your discontentment is that you have not found that what you really are looking for. But since you don't know it, you don't know where to look.

What I say now will not help you, but I want to say it anyway.

If you find a way to have beautiful sex with your husband; if you manage to convince him to be the lover you imagine he should be, you would find out that you are still not content. You would find a new reason why you are discontent.

Then it's not your husband or not your sex life. Then it's something else in your life.

If you find a way to have beautiful sex with your husband; if you manage to convince him to be the lover you imagine he should be, you would find out that you are still not content. You would find a new reason why you are discontent. Then it's not your husband or not your sex life. Then it's something else in your life.

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And that's why I would like to propose to you that you try something different, just for a while – just to try it out. Instead of looking for a way to improve your sex life, and instead of finding a way to find the right dance partner, I would like to suggest to you that you start dancing with yourself – this 'yourself' you don't know yet.

Instead of looking for a way to improve your sex life, and instead of finding a way to find the right dance partner, I would like to suggest to you that you start dancing with yourself – this 'yourself' you don't know yet.

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You see... I think you said that you meditate. I forgot. Yes. You said you just started the meditation, and I am happy to hear about this.

And this meditation is called 'Samarpan Meditation' for a reason. 'Samarpan' means surrender.

Basically, it is this feeling that you stop looking for that what you need out there in the world, you stop trying to do it yourself, and instead, you forget all of your wishes, all of the things where you think you would find happiness, where you would find satisfaction... And instead, you meditate, and while meditating, you let go of all of these things you worry about throughout the day.

You believe they are important. You believe: "It's important for my satisfaction, for my happiness, that my relationship improves, my sex life improves. A good dance partner, this would make me happy."

And this surrender, this feeling of surrender, means: "Okay, I let all of this go." It feels crazy, because you believe in your core that these things are important to you. But then you let go of them anyway – this is surrender. And that's what you do in this meditation for half an hour in the morning. You let all of this, what you believe is important to you, go, and, instead, you just rest in yourself. You just rest here in the crown chakra. You don't even know why. There is nothing, but you do it anyway because it feels good. You don't even know why.

Surrender means: "Okay, I let all of this go." It feels crazy, because you believe in your core that these things are important, but you let go of them anyway – this is surrender. And that's what you do in this meditation for half an hour. You let all of this, what you believe is important to you, go, and, instead, you just rest in yourself. You just rest here in the crown chakra.

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And there, at this point, you just rest with your attention here at this physical point of your body. Nothing special. It's easy.

But the key is that while you are doing this, you forget all the other things. You let go of your thoughts, again and again and again.

And then you sit there and you meditate, and then you think about your husband, and, immediately, you let these thoughts go: "No. I don't want to think this. This is not important right now. I am doing something else." This letting go again and again and again, this is surrender – practical surrender.

You meditate, and then you think about your husband, and, immediately, you let these thoughts go: "No. I don't want to think this. This is not important right now. I am doing something else." This letting go again and again and again, this is surrender – practical surrender.

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And when you do this, then you look in the direction of the solution. In the beginning, you don't know anything about this. All you know is: "I like meditating. I don't even know why." It feels crazy, because for half an hour, you forget all of the things which are important to you, and instead, you rest with your attention at a spot where you don't feel much. But something is there which makes it enjoyable for you.

And that's the direction where you find everything you're looking for in your practical life and where you don't find it.

When you do this, then you look in the direction of the solution. In the beginning, you don't know anything about this. All you know is: "I like meditating. I don't even know why." It feels crazy, because for half an hour, you forget all of the things which are important to you, and instead, you rest with your attention at a spot where you don't feel much.

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Your discontentment is a blessing

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I said in the beginning of my answer to you that you are discontent; that you have this discontentment in you, and this is a good thing. It's not that something is wrong with you. It's not that you do it wrong. I'm not saying: "Don't be discontent."

No. This discontentment you feel is good, because it tells you: "Hello, something essential is missing here." This is what makes you look for something in your sex life, in dancing, this search, this is good. This discontentment is there to wake you up and to say: "Hello, wake up. Something is missing here."

And that's why I like your letter so much, because this discontentment is a blessing. It wakes you up. Of course you look at places where you don't find contentment, but that's the first step: you are discontent.

And of course you start looking at places where everybody looks. We have not learned anything else in our lives. But this makes you open, and now I tell you where you find contentment.

This discontentment is a blessing. It wakes you up. Of course you look at places where you don't find contentment, but that's the first step: you are discontent. And of course you start looking at places where everybody looks. We have not learned anything else in our lives. But this makes you open, and now I tell you where you find contentment.

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So, there is nothing wrong with what you feel. There is nothing wrong with how you are. It's a blessing.

In my life, it was the same.

I didn't know that I was discontent. I didn't know that I was on a search, but my whole life, I was looking for something. I didn't know what I was looking for. I didn't even know that I was looking, but I never found it anywhere. So, I was married three times, and I was divorced three times. I was looking for something, but I didn't find it. It didn't work.

I had lovely wives, but something was not allowing me to stay there because I was not satisfied. I didn't know anything about this, of course. Only now, many, many years later, now I can understand what was going on with me back then.

And then I had the next relationship, the next marriage, but, also, there, everything was fine, but I didn't find that what I thought I should have. And I didn't even know what I was looking for. And then I thought, I am wrong. I thought, I do it wrong. If I would be a better person, a better man, then maybe we would be happy together, and maybe I would be happy.

But this search, this unconscious search, this unconscious discontentment which was making me have this unsteady life... I had a wonderful wife and still, it didn't work out. And now, today, I know why: because something inside of me was looking for the real in this life. Something in me didn't allow me to settle for less than the real solution. And, for you, it's the same. That's what I see in your letter. You have a lovely husband. You love each other. Everything could be great.

Maybe other people tell you: "Are you stupid? You have a lovely partner. Why do you worry about sex life? Enjoy the love you have. Don't be discontent."

But I tell you the opposite. I tell you: the discontentment is good. Just know where to look for contentment.

Other people tell you: "Are you stupid? You have a lovely partner. Why do you worry about sex life? Enjoy the love you have. Don't be discontent." But I tell you the opposite. I tell you: the discontentment is good. Just know where to look for contentment.

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And this dissatisfaction, this discontentment in my life, that didn't allow me to settle anywhere in the life out there. And finally, I came to my spiritual Master 25 years ago, and 7 years ago to my Guru and to the Samarpan Meditation. Now I found contentment.

This dissatisfaction, this discontentment in my life, that didn't allow me to settle anywhere in the life out there. And finally, I came to my spiritual Master 25 years ago, and 7 years ago to my Guru and to the Samarpan Meditation. Now I found contentment.

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And now, I have a lovely relationship, but I don't look for contentment in the relationship. I found the source of contentment, and now I have the feeling any relationship would work, because I am content.

Now I could dance with anybody, because I'm dancing with God inside. I am living in Heaven – and then it's easy in life.

Now I have a lovely relationship, but I don't look for contentment in the relationship. I found the source of contentment, and now I have the feeling any relationship would work, because I am content. Now I could dance with anybody, because I'm dancing with God inside. I am living in Heaven – and then it's easy in life.

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You know, you will find something very interesting.

Once you begin to discover the source of contentment, the source of happiness, inside of yourself, then you will stop looking for it outside. You become content in you.

And then you become very attractive.

Then, people will come to you. You don't have to try to convince them to want to have sex with you or to want to dance with you. No. They want to come, because the most attractive thing in the world is a person who is truly satisfied, and a person who is discontent, unsatisfied, is unattractive.

It's very, very difficult to approach a person, to be close to a person who is discontent, who has expectations.

But once you discover your true contentment, you become very attractive. Everybody will want to dance with you.

The most attractive thing in the world is a person who is truly satisfied, and a person who is discontent, unsatisfied, is unattractive. It's very, very difficult to be close to a person who is discontent, who has expectations. But once you discover your true contentment, you become very attractive. Everybody will want to dance with you.

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Yes.

Thank you for your letter.

I am constantly changing

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So, before I read out the next letter, I want to say a word. You know, many of the letters I am reading out today are waiting for my answer since many months. This letter here is one that reached me half a year ago. And I try to answer questions and letters as soon as possible, but sometimes, it takes a long time, and then I blame myself. Then I think: "Oh, this is terrible.

I should answer quicker. I shouldn't let people wait." I don't like it when it takes so long. But then, something interesting happens with these letters I'm reading out today. Some of them wait since a long time. And now, today, I read I read them out, and today, I answer, and then I think to myself... I feel: "Oh, wow. This is interesting.

I am glad that I read and answer this letter only today because what I can say about it today, I could not have said a month ago; I could not have said half a year ago." Half a year ago, my answer would have been different, but today, I answer in this way, and I am glad that I waited. It's not that I made the conscious decision to let the letter sit until I am ready. This is, of course, something which happens by itself. But I'm changing every day. Every day I live, I change. I am being changed by the experiences I have, by the mistakes I do. Every meditation in the morning changes me.

Twice a week, I attend a group meditation. Every group meditation changes me. Just the last one, two days ago, changed me. Every video I make changes me. So, every day, I become a tiny little bit wiser. Every day, I come a little bit closer to myself.

Every day I live, I change. I am being changed by the experiences I have, by the mistakes I do. Every meditation in the morning changes me. Twice a week, group meditation changes me. Every video I make changes me. So, every day, I become a tiny little bit wiser. Every day, I come a little bit closer to myself.

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And I guess, some letters just wait for being answered, until I am worthy of it; until I am ready. I am slow. So, please forgive me when I take a long time to answer. I answer every single letter, but sometimes, it takes a while, and I just trust that it goes in the right way.

And that's what I learned in life: I learned to trust that everything is perfect, even when I think it's wrong; even when I think I am wrong. But later, sometimes a long time later, then I can understand: "Ah, it's good like this."

And that's what I learned in life: I learned to trust that everything is perfect, even when I think it's wrong; even when I think I am wrong. But later, sometimes a long time later, then I can understand: "Ah, it's good like this."

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Everything has made you ready for this

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So, on to this new letter.

"For over 20 years, I was on a spiritual quest, and I did a lot of reading, meditating, and I attended seminars. And then there came a day when I couldn't go on, and I decided to stop the whole search. The situation then deteriorated more and more, and my battery was empty. Why, I wondered. I tried so many things, and nothing really worked. It was always the opposite.

One day, by chance, I came across your videos, and your loving voice and wisdom touched my heart. No, I thought, this is of no use, but my curiosity would not leave me alone. Now I fall asleep with your videos and also during the night when I cannot sleep. There is a magic that draws me in, and it feels good. You inspired me, and since the beginning of September, I have been meditating, and that is a miracle in itself."

The letter goes on, we didn't reach the actual question yet, but I would like to interrupt briefly and say something about this.

It is like this in our lives: we live our life, we do what we do, and we are convinced that everything is wrong and nothing works. We really believe this. And at the same time, miracles happen, one miracle after the other. But we don't realize it, and we don't know that everything which happens in our life, everything we do, actually works. It just doesn't work the way we imagine it should work. Everything you did brought you here where you are today.

We live our life, we do what we do, and we are convinced that everything is wrong and nothing works. And at the same time, miracles happen, one miracle after the other. But we don't realize it, and we don't know that everything which happens in our life, everything we do, actually works. It just doesn't work the way we imagine it should work.

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Everything you did, everything you experienced, every seminar, every meditation, every mistake, made you ready, opened you, made you sensitive.

And you say yourself: now you are meditating – and it's a miracle. Yes, it is. It's a miracle that you, in this world, with this life, you start meditating. You even watch videos like this.

So, everything works. It just doesn't work the way we imagine it should work. We have no idea what's important. We have no idea where we need to go. But life does know. And now, I'm 61 years old. I look back at my life. I had a funny life. I did everything wrong, again and again and again. So many failures, and now I see how perfect it all is.

And you say yourself: now you are meditating – and it's a miracle. Yes, it is. It's a miracle that you, in this world, with this life, start meditating. You even watch videos like this. So, everything works. It just doesn't work the way we imagine it should work.

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But I can only see it now, with a lot of distance.

We have no idea what's important. We have no idea where we need to go. But life does know.

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Now that I am where I am today, now I can see: "Ah, all of these things brought me here."

So, yes, it is a miracle. And, no, it's not that nothing worked. Everything worked perfectly.

You know, the miracles which happen in your life are quiet. They happen gradually, slowly, and that's why we don't notice them.

The miracles which happen in your life are quiet. They happen gradually, slowly, and that's why we don't notice them.

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And life makes us do things, life makes us walk a certain path, and we have no idea why. You think you have a partner to become happy and to find fulfillment there, but then you are not happy and you do not find fulfillment there. And then you think it's the wrong partner and the wrong life and you did something wrong. But in reality, it's perfect. It's the right partner. It's the right path. It leads you to the realization where you find the true solution.

You think you have a partner to become happy and to find fulfillment, but then you are not happy and you think it's the wrong partner and you did something wrong. But in reality, it's perfect. It's the right partner. It's the right path. It leads you to the realization where you find the true solution.

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But we don't know this... only later. So, don't worry. Everything is perfect.

Finding the right job

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So, I go on in this lovely letter. "I was always strong. I had a lot of strength, and I took care of two families, and I worked, worked, worked. Now, everything has changed. I have become weak. I have no more strength. My body had already given me signals, but I had to keep working, and I ignored it. Even worse, I hated my body for not being able to do what it used to do. I worked every day in pain, and one day, I couldn't take it anymore and I quit. And now I have a new situation in my life. Me, unemployed?

Now, all my fears have come back, with double the strength. Where will I find work? I am already 57 years old, and I live alone. You have already given me answers to a few questions. That gives me strength to go on living. My body needs rest. It is exhausted and burnt out. You say so beautifully: do what gives you joy. I don't know what I could do with joy in my job. With me, everything is buried. I feel so small, not important, actually worthless. How do I find out what gives me joy and in what profession?"

Thank you.

You know, you never have to be anywhere else than where you are. You never have to be different than you are right now. Right now, you are completely exhausted. You are burnt out, you have no energy, no strength, but you already look for the next job. You don't even have enough strength to lift your arm, but you want to find the next work. You see, what we humans usually do is: we are 10 steps ahead. You try to do the 10th step, but you haven't even done the first.

You never have to be anywhere else than where you are. You never have to be different than you are right now.

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And life is so easy because all we ever need to do is do the next step, the obvious step, the natural step, the easy step.

What we humans usually do is: we are 10 steps ahead. You try to do the 10th step, but you haven't even done the first. And life is so easy because all we ever need to do is do the next step, the obvious step, the natural step, the easy step.

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You have no strength. You have no energy. Be where you are.

When I say: "do what gives you joy", I don't mean: "try to plan something which will give you joy". I don't say: "try to manifest a job which will be fun for you". No. I'm talking about something much simpler than that.

I mean it totally direct: "where you are right now, totally exhausted, totally tired – what gives you joy, right now?" I guess, what gives you the most joy in this situation is to just go straight back to bed and rest. Or you spend the day on the sofa with a cup of tea. Or maybe you want to take walks – very slow, gentle walks.

When I say: "do what gives you joy", I don't mean: "try to plan something which will give you joy". No. I am talking about something much simpler than that. I mean it totally direct: "where you are right now, totally exhausted, totally tired – what gives you joy, right now?" I guess, what gives you the most joy in this situation is to just go straight back to bed and rest.

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I guess this is what gives you joy in the situation where you are right now. That's what I am talking about.

And now I want to tell you something which may be hard to believe for you, but it is the truth: you do not have to worry about your next job. Life doesn't work like this.

All you ever have to do is be where you are right now: be exhausted, be incapable; enjoy this.

I want to tell you something which may be hard to believe for you, but it is the truth: you do not have to worry about your next job. Life doesn't work like this. All you ever have to do is be where you are right now: be exhausted, be incapable; enjoy this.

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You don't know where the next job is coming from. I understand, you know... We believe: we have to plan all this. You believe: "If I don't look for the right job, I will never have a job again. I will never have money again."

And then, you try to imagine what kind of job that might be, and then you want to combine this with having joy in the job, and it's all impossible. It doesn't work like this. You can't do it. I mean, you are at home, totally exhausted, and on top of this, you stress yourself with this attempt to find such a job.

Life works differently. Life works very simple. Life is much simpler than we think. Right now, life gives you exhaustion – be exhausted; totally, really.

Life works differently. Life works very simple. Life is much simpler than we think.

Right now, life gives you exhaustion – be exhausted; totally, really.

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This is a much bigger challenge than keep running and looking for a new job. You stressing yourself with the idea of finding a new job is strange and exhausting, but in a way, it's a safe thing to do. It satisfies your mind. It doesn't do anything; you don't find a job like this, but at least you have the feeling you did everything you could. But the actual thing which is up right now – you are totally exhausted, you have no energy, and now to just be totally exhausted: to stop, to rest, to do nothing – this is a challenge for the ego, for the mind.

You stressing yourself with the idea of finding a new job is strange and exhausting, but in a way, it's a safe thing to do. It satisfies your mind. But the actual thing which is up right now – you are totally exhausted, and now to just be totally exhausted: to stop, to rest, to do nothing – this is a challenge for the ego, for the mind.

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And when I say: "do what gives you joy", I mean it totally directly. You sit there in the morning. What do I feel to do right now?

Oh, I want to sleep. Okay. Then sleep. Oh, I want to go I want to go to the sauna to rest and to relax. Okay. Then do this. You don't know where it leads to.

I want to tell you about an experience I had in my life with jobs.

I once was in a situation just like you. I was much younger, but I had a job, and I had to quit this job. It was a good job, a safe job, a secure job, but I had to quit it. I could not do this. It would have made me totally sick. But I was so scared. I was convinced I would never find another job. I thought: with the education I had, with my experience, I thought I will never find another job. Never. I was really scared.

But I had to quit. I had no choice. I knew this. I didn't know what to do, but I knew I have to quit. I had no choice. So, I left this job. I was unemployed.

I applied for a few jobs. I had a few job interviews. It was terrible.

I had these job interviews, and I knew I can never do this. So, I had no hope. I had no idea what to do.

And then, one day, I looked in the newspaper and I saw this very tiny classified ad, and they were looking for somebody for a job, and that was a job I never considered. It was a job I had no education for.

I didn't know that I would be able to do this, but for some reason, this tiny classified ad caught my eye. I read it, and I knew: this is what I want to do. I just knew it. It was crazy. I called them, they interviewed me, I got the job, and it was my dream job for the next 15 or 20 years. I didn't even know that I could do this.

I didn't even know that I would have fun with this. It all happened by itself, magically. Two weeks before, I was so scared and so worried and, suddenly, life brought me a job I would have never looked for myself. Never. And it was exactly the right thing for me. I blossomed there. I had so much fun.

That's how life works, when we let go – and, thankfully, because... you know, we are so stupid, we are so incapable: we cannot let go. And then, life comes and forces us to let go. And that's the blessing. We would never let go by ourselves, but then, life brings us into a situation just like you experience it now, and we are forced to let go. And in that let go, you discover how life really works.

We are so incapable: we cannot let go. And then, life comes and forces us to let go. And that's the blessing. We would never let go by ourselves, but then, life brings us into a situation just like you experience it now, and we are forced to let go. And in that let go, you discover how life really works.

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The meditation will help you with this. The meditation teaches you let go, surrender. And then, it's easier.

There is this saying from Jesus. He said: "Put God first – everything else will follow." And what that means is: if you let go... Jesus also said: "Lord, Thy Will be done." And these two things, they go together. When he says: "Put God first", there he means: "Let God do your life. Just pray: thy will be done.

And then, everything else happens by itself."

Jesus said: "Put God first – everything else will follow." And he also said: "Lord, Thy Will be done." And these two things, they go together. When he says: "Put God first", there he means: "Let God do your life. Just pray: thy will be done. And then, everything else happens by itself."

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And this is what I experienced 35 years ago in this job situation which I was just sharing with you, and this is, of course, what I experience now every day.

And meditation helps you with this. It helps you with this let go. It helps you with this: "Okay, I let go. Now, your will be done, Life."

Meditation helps you with this. It helps you with this let go. It helps you with this: "Okay, I let go. Now, your will be done, Life."

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And in the meditation, when you rest here at the crown chakra, you experience... I describe it often like I experience a safe spot. I don't know why; it feels a little crazy, but when I rest there with my attention, every time when I succeed to let go of the thoughts and just rest there, I feel safe. I feel carried. I feel taken care of. And this reminds me again and again, every day, every morning, to let go. And then, life can unfold. And it does.

And in the meditation, when I rest here at the crown chakra, I experience a safe spot. When I succeed to let go of the thoughts and just rest there, I feel safe. I feel carried. I feel taken care of. And this reminds me again and again, every day, every morning, to let go. And then, life can unfold. And it does.

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Don't worry about Gurus

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So, the letter goes on. There is another question in this letter.

"Recently, I have also heard that one shouldn't run after a Guru because the source is within us. Now I have an additional problem, because you talk so much about Guru. And I am already a bit into this, because I do the meditation. What can you say about this?"

Thank you. Yes... we, here in the West, we really have a big issue with Gurus. We are very suspicious and very scared of them. So many people say: "if Jesus Christ would be here today, I would follow him", but this is not the truth. Nobody would follow him, because we are scared of Gurus. We don't know what to do with them.

But you don't have to worry about this at all. It's not that you have to run after a Guru in order to find happiness. It's not that you should have a Guru. It doesn't work like this. I never was running after a Guru. I never was running after a Master. I never even looked for a Master. I never looked for a Guru.

Here in the West, we really have a big issue with Gurus. We are very suspicious and very scared of them. So many people say: "if Jesus Christ would be here today, I would follow him", but this is not the truth. Nobody would follow him, because we are scared of Gurus. We don't know what to do with them.

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But when it's good for you to have a Master, one will come into your life, naturally, easy, by itself. Same with a Guru. It's like with men. Maybe you know this... You are an adult woman. You know that men are no good. Sometimes they're fun, but mostly, they are a problem. You don't want a man. You are happy. But one day, you meet this guy, and you don't know why, but you are totally open.

You are just open, and you love everything about this guy, simply because you are open. And before you know it, you have a relationship. You have a man in the middle of your life. Nobody asked you. You didn't decide for this. You didn't look for a man. You you didn't run after him. No – quite the opposite. But now he's here. And now you want him. You are open. You love him. You don't even know how it happened.

It's not that you have to run after a Guru in order to find happiness. It's not that you should have a Guru. It doesn't work like this. I never was running after a Guru or a Master. I never even looked for a Master or a Guru. But when it's good for you to have a Master, one will come into your life, naturally, easy, by itself. Same with a Guru.

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And with a Guru, it works exactly the same way.

When I met my spiritual Master, Soham, 25 years ago... and at that time in my life, I didn't look for a spiritual Master.

But one day, I was sitting in his Satsang for the first time, by pure accident. I had read a book. In that book, his name was mentioned, and I was curious. And then, just by accident, I learned that Soham was giving Satsang in the town I was at that time. So, I thought: "Oh, why not... I just go there and check it out." I was curious. And then, I was sitting there. He came in, and I was totally open, from one moment to the next. It was not that I was looking for something.

And I was open, and suddenly I knew: "This is my place. Here I am." And I had a Master, and it felt as if it is the most natural thing in the world.

One day, I was sitting in his Satsang for the first time, by pure accident. He came in, and I was totally open, from one moment to the next. It was not that I was looking for something. I was open, and suddenly I knew: "This is my place. Here I am." And I had a Master, and it felt as if it is the most natural thing in the world.

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When you meet a man, you don't know anything about him, but you have the feeling you know him since lives and lives and lives. Suddenly, it's the most natural thing to spend time with this guy and to live with this guy. But before you met him, you didn't worry about it at all, and you didn't look for a man.

And I experienced it the same way with my Master back then. And with Swamiji, the Guru whose disciple I am, it was exactly the same thing. I never looked for a Guru. I never thought about Gurus. If you would have told me that I will have a Guru in my life, I would have said to you: "You are crazy!"

But one day, I heard about him – and I was so open, from one moment to the next... I have never ever experienced anything like this in my entire life before. I was so open. And, suddenly, he was in my life, just by me hearing about him. It was like his entire energy, his entire being, was suddenly in the center of my life. It was amazing. I was open. I was happy.

It felt like the most natural thing in the world. It felt as if I had been waiting for this my entire life. It wasn't that I was running after him. It wasn't that I thought I should have a Guru in order to become happy, in order to become enlightened or whatnot. No. Nobody should do this.

I tell you about my own experiences, so you understand why I tell you this: you don't need a Guru, and you don't have to run after a Guru, and you don't have to love the Guru I love, just because I love him and I talk about him. It works differently. If it is good for you to have a man in your life, life will take care of it. One day, boom, you will fall in love, and you will have this man, whether you want it or not. You are not being asked. You just want it then.

You don't need a Guru, and you don't have to run after a Guru, and you don't have to love the Guru I love, just because I love him and I talk about him. It works differently.

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You want him. Even if you think, "oh, this is not a good idea", you still love him and you still want him. And with Gurus, it's the same. Should it be good for you to have a Guru, it will happen naturally, by itself, and you will want it. This is my experience. So, this is a subject you don't have to think about at all. You don't have to do anything you don't want. You don't have to adopt a Guru. It happens by itself. Don't worry about it at all.

If it is good for you to have a man in your life, life will take care of it. One day, boom, you will fall in love. Even if you think this is not a good idea, you still love him and you still want him. And with Gurus, it's the same. Should it be good for you to have a Guru, it will happen in a way naturally, by itself, and you will want it.

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Thank you for your question, and thank you for your letter. Such a beautiful letter.

Inner drivenness

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And I have more.

"There is one topic among many others that keeps coming up again and again, and it puts me in quite a stressful situation. I carry a great inner restlessness around with me that makes it difficult for me to relax. An inner voice drives me. It demands that I do something useful and tells me that I have to really earn my rest periods. I then often compare myself with others, and I have the impression that everyone else does much more than I do.

Now, I live with someone who works extremely hard and demands a lot from himself, and he is going way beyond his limits. This makes it all the more difficult for me not to do the same and still love, accept, and value myself. I don't really want to identify myself by my work and by my achievements, but I do. I feel how much I need rest and slowing down. I can hardly allow myself to do so. Immediately, I feel guilty, but I know that I am lovable, valuable and unique, with no attached conditions.

I have been meditating for many years, and I had a wonderful Master for over 25 years who opened many channels in me and especially my heart. I am well connected to myself, and I live self-care and do many good things. I am supported by a loving social network of friends and feel that I am increasingly approaching inner and outer freedom. But this inner restlessness will not go away. Can you say something about this?"

Thank you. Thank you for your letter.

Maybe you wonder what kind of gymnastics I'm doing here all the time. You can't see this in the video, but I'm sitting cross-legged on a little table in front of the camera. I don't like chairs, and I love sitting cross-legged. But from time to time, I have to switch position, or I sit normal for a few minutes because, otherwise, my legs fall asleep. And this is what you see when I change the legs. I love to sit like this. Yes, thank you for your question.

First, let me comment on what you said... You said: you know that you are lovable; you know that you are valuable and unique.

You don't know this. You are lying to yourself. These are things you read somewhere, and they sound great.

But you don't know this. I advise you to be where you are. My advice to you is: feel really the way you feel. Feel this drivenness. Feel this restlessness. You know, we talked about dissatisfaction earlier, and I commented that it's good to feel this. It's good when you have this discontentment in your life. This is what I told the lady earlier. And with your restlessness, it's exactly the same thing.

It's good that you have this. You say you did all these great things and you have a good life, and yet, this restlessness is there. It doesn't allow you to rest. It doesn't allow you to stop. And it's good like this because everything else you did is fine, but the restlessness tells you: "Hello, there is something you missed." There is something in you which says: "I am not satisfied, and I will not let you stop until I am satisfied." And this is a good thing.

The restlessness tells you: "Hello, there is something you missed." There is something in you which says: "I am not satisfied, and I will not let you stop until I am satisfied." And this is a good thing.

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The funny thing about the spiritual path is that what it brings, this Heaven, this eternal contentment, is something we do not know anything about. We don't even know that it exists.

And that's why we cannot look for it.

The funny thing about the spiritual path is that what it brings, this Heaven, this eternal contentment, is something we do not know anything about. We don't even know that it exists. And that's why we cannot look for it.

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It's so funny. And when somebody like Jesus talks about the Kingdom of God or about Heaven, for us, it sounds like abstract ideas.

We don't know that he meant it really concretely, really as a matter of fact. He talked about how life can be.

When somebody like Jesus talks about the Kingdom of God or about Heaven, for us, it sounds like abstract ideas. We don't know that he meant it really concretely, really as a matter of fact. He talked about how life can be.

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You say, you know that you are worthy, you know that you are lovable, you know that you are enough. And I told you: no, you don't, because if you would have reached that what Jesus is talking about, this ultimate contentment, there is no question about you loving yourself.

All these things evaporate.

They become meaningless, because you rest in that which is love itself, contentment itself; because you bow down in front of love, in front of contentment – that's how I experience it sometimes.

It's like you don't know anything about yourself anymore. All you see and perceive is Love, God, Life... that what you surrender to. You stop existing. There is no question whether you are lovable or anything like this. And this restlessness that you describe, that is that energy in you which tells you: "Hello. You think you have arrived. You think you have a good life – and you have a nice life –, but it's all pale compared to that what you actually are entitled to.

You rest in that which is love itself, contentment itself; because you bow down in front of love, in front of contentment – that's how I experience it sometimes. It's like you don't know anything about yourself anymore. All you see and perceive is Love, God, Life... that what you surrender to. You stop existing.

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The restlessness tells you: "Don't stop here. This is child's play. Look for the real thing."

This restlessness, that is that energy which tells you: "You think you have arrived, you think you have a good life – but it's all pale compared to that what you actually are entitled to.

The restlessness tells you:
"Don't stop here. This is child's play. Look for the real thing."

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And the real thing you learn through the meditation, through Samarpan Meditation.

There you rest... I sometimes I describe it like this: when I meditate and when I rest with my attention here in the crown chakra, I feel I am sitting at the door to Heaven, and there, I don't have to do anything. I can't do anything, and everything comes by itself.

When I meditate and when I rest with my attention here in the crown chakra, I feel I am sitting at the door to Heaven, and there, I don't have to do anything. I can't do anything, and everything comes by itself.

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You just rest there every morning, again and again and again. There you can rest. When you sit there, when you sit with your attention at the crown chakra during the Samarpan Meditation, there you really rest. There is no drivenness, no question.

That's the end of the running. There, you can stop running.

Only there.

You just rest there every morning. When you sit there, when you sit with your attention at the crown chakra during Samarpan Meditation, there you really rest. There is no drivenness, no question. That's the end of the running. There, you can stop running. Only there.

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So, allow this restlessness. Feel it. And allow the feeling of unworthiness. Allow the feeling of "I am not good enough".

Let these feelings come close to you. Feel them. They are the pointers. Allow them to be there, feel them, and meditate – and you will discover what I am talking about.

Allow this restlessness. Feel it. And allow the feeling of unworthiness. Allow the feeling of "I am not good enough". Let these feelings come close to you. Feel them. They are the pointers. Allow them to be there, feel them, and meditate – and you will discover what I am talking about.

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Thank you for your letter. I'm totally touched.

Jealousy

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Here is another letter about practical life. And every time I receive a letter like this, I'm totally touched, because I know all these things myself, of course.

"I have been married to my husband for almost 30 years. We have three children who have long since grown up. We live together on a farm. My issue is jealousy. Although we spend a lot of time together on the farm and in the house, I feel left alone. I have a fear of loss. I am jealous when we go out, but also at home when he talks to the children and spends time with others. He feels like he's in a golden cage.

Everything is fine, but he feels trapped, controlled, and has almost nothing to himself. And so, he can't recharge his batteries, and he can't give me anything anymore. Right now, we are not connected on the inside, and I can't let him go, even though nothing has ever happened. I know exactly what it should be like, but I can't get out of my skin. I just can't do it. I would love to relax our daily lives and fill them with humor and ease. Do you have any advice for me?"

Oh, thank you. Thank you, thank you.

You say that you are not connected on the inside, and that's true.

And I would like to tell you where you find this connection.

You see, there are two things at play here in your life situation.

The one is your jealousy. And you feel jealous because you believe that there is something extremely valuable, extremely important, and that is in danger – your husband. You put all of your attention and all of your hopes and all of your neediness onto your husband, and you believe that if this would only work the correct way, the way you think you know it could work – you say you know exactly how it should be –, then you would be safe; then you would have what you need, and then everything would be fine and relaxed and happy.

Jealousy is like a burning fire. I know this fire myself so well.

I never used to be jealous in my life, but this was not because I was so truly content. I was just not connected to my feelings. But then, I came to my spiritual Master, and with him, I slowly learned to be closer to myself. I learned to feel my feelings. And then, one day, jealousy got triggered, and it was an amazing experience for me.

I think I never burned so hot in my whole life. I was in such pain, in such fear. And this is really how I felt it: I felt like jealousy is burning me up.

Jealousy is like a flame; like fire.

But what actually is burning is something else – and that's the neediness. In actuality, you feel totally needy, but you don't know this. You don't feel the neediness directly, but you feel the flames of the neediness burning – and that flame, that is the jealousy. Without the neediness, there would be no jealousy. There would be no food for the flame.

Jealousy is like a flame, but what actually is burning is something else – neediness, but you don't know this. You don't feel the neediness directly, but you feel the flames of the neediness burning – and that flame, that is the jealousy. Without the neediness, there would be no jealousy. There would be no food for the flame.

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So, the question is not how to deal with the jealousy. The jealousy is good. The jealousy tells you: "Hello, something's burning here. There is something you might want to take care of." But that is not your husband, but your neediness. How to satisfy your neediness – that what is so scared?

Look in the opposite direction

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And I already told you in this video: if you turn inside, if you meditate, and while meditating, forget all these things which feel so important, all these thoughts about your life, about your husband, and about how it should be, and instead you just rest in yourself... You just rest here.

There, you will find that what makes you really satisfied and safe and secure.

If you meditate, and while meditating, forget all these things which feel so important, all these thoughts about your life, about your husband, and about how it should be, and instead you just rest in yourself, you will find that what makes you really satisfied and safe and secure.

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And then you will discover something very interesting. You say you are not connected to your husband on the inside right now, and that is because you are not connected to yourself.

Your whole attention is outside, on your husband, but there is not the source of your satisfaction, and there is also not the connection to your husband. It's all inside. And I mean it totally practically, I'm not talking in metaphors, in pictures. I mean it practically. When you turn inside... when you rest with your attention here, you will find ultimate satisfaction.

All your neediness will go. And: you will get connected to yourself – to your true self –, by meditating the Samarpan Meditation; by feeling your feelings; by saying 'yes' to how it really is for you- You develop a deep connection to your true self, to your inner, to your Soul.

You say you are not connected to your husband on the inside right now, and that is because you are not connected to yourself. Your whole attention is outside, on your husband, but the source of your satisfaction is not there, and also not the connection to your husband. It's all inside.

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And if you don't experience this yourself, you might think: "Well, wait a second! Then I turn away from my husband. Then I will even have less connection with him." But you don't know this. I had a very interesting, profound experience in my life, and during this experience, I discovered something I will never forget. I had learned from my spiritual Master that what I advise you to do: to turn inwards; to feel myself; not to worry about my partner, but to feel myself, to feel my feelings, to rest in myself.

And I had stopped worrying about the connection to others. I had stopped trying to take care of the others, to feel them. Instead, I learned to only feel myself. And in the beginning, it felt totally wrong. It felt like the wrong direction. But then, one day, I was so resting in myself, and suddenly I discovered that through this connection with myself, I was deeply connected to the other person – through my inside; a connection, a depth I had never experienced before.

And since then, I know: all I need to take care of is this connection to my inner, and through that, I am connected to everybody else – truly connected. Not this superficial, brittle, fragile connection we usually have with other people. No. It's an inner connection, indestructible and eternal. It's amazing.

One day I was resting in myself, and suddenly I discovered that through this connection with myself, I was deeply connected to the other person – through my inside; a connection, a depth I had never experienced before. Since then, I know: all I need to take care of is this connection to my inner, and through that, I am truly connected to everybody else.

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And that's why I would like to advise you to trust this path to your inside. You know, this is the reason why Gurus say: "Just meditate. All the problems will be solved by themselves. And that's why Jesus says: "Put God first, and everything will follow that." It's the same. What the Gurus say and what Jesus said is exactly the same thing. It says that you take care of this connection to your true self – a self you don't know anything about right now.

But when you foster this connection, when you foster this, all the other things you are worried about right now will be solved automatically, by themselves. You will have, for the first time in your life, a true connection to your husband, and the food for the fire of jealousy will be gone, because the neediness is gone – because you found true satisfaction in yourself.

You take care of this connection to your true self – a self you don't know anything about right now. But when you foster this connection, all the other things you are worried about right now will be solved automatically, by themselves.

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Thank you for your letter. Thank you for your courage to write to me.

And forgive the long wait.

Being true to oneself

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Now I have a letter here which I appreciate very much. It's a little longer, but I would like to read out the entire letter because then it's easier to understand my answer.

"My son hates smoking. Even as a child, he occasionally hid my cigarettes to keep me from smoking, but I still haven't managed to quit. He lives in Central America and has a large property there and lives there very secluded, in harmony with nature. And I traveled to visit him after a long time. Before my trip, he told me that I am not allowed to smoke on his property. It is only allowed at the large entrance gate, about 1 kilometer from the house.

Well, I thought I could just walk there, and I imagined a relatively straight, flat path. But when I got there, everything looked different. The path led through the wilderness, with many inclines, and in addition, it was 40 degrees Celsius hot. So, I dared to smoke halfway there, at a guest house, not inside the building, of course, but outside. But he approached me about it and said that he had noticed, because he was connected to his land. He was quite angry.

And so, I had no choice but to go to the gate a kilometer away when I wanted to smoke. My girlfriend, who was accompanying me on the trip, walked with me for a few days. It was especially difficult at lunchtime so that, in the end, she no longer wanted to walk with me, and I went alone. I often felt uneasy because I often heard wild dogs barking, which were roaming around. That's why I didn't walk the whole way anymore but stopped about 150 meters in front of the gate, and I smoked there.

A few days before our departure, when my son followed me and caught me, so to speak, I told him my reasons for not wanting to go down to the gate, but he just saw this as excuses, and he was very annoyed. The next morning, he came and he told us that he had arranged our departure. And the same day, a taxi came and took us to the hotel near the airport. I was shocked by this incident. My son is very consistent, but I would have not have thought that he would do that.

I did not follow his instructions and energetically contaminated his land, or so I understand it. Since then, I have not heard from him, but I have not sought contact myself either. My feelings alternate between anger, sadness, and loving memories of his childhood and youth when we were very close. I'm very disappointed, but I no longer want to belittle myself in front of him. I often did that because I felt guilty about the years of severe depression I suffered after his birth, and because I couldn't be the mother I wanted to be.

Besides, I separated from his father when he was 4 years old. I did everything for him. He once said: maybe you did too much. I was fixated on him only, after I overcame my depression. I love him despite everything. But now I set limits where I never did before. I don't want to ask for forgiveness. There is nothing to forgive. I don't feel guilty for not following his instructions 100%. I would like to know what you think about this."

Thank you for your letter.

You say that you want to be true to yourself. You don't want to ask for forgiveness. You just want to be the way you are and not make yourself small when you are with your son.

But, usually, we don't know what this means.

There is a lot of confusion about exactly this subject – about: what does it mean practically when I am true to myself? And people wonder: "How is it supposed to work? If I'm true to myself, and everybody else is also true to themselves, how should we ever be with each other? How is this supposed to work?"

And, you know, it's good that you want to be true to yourself, but it doesn't mean that your son will like it.

Quite the opposite. It was my experience in my life: when you start to become true to yourself, the first thing which happens is that you experience that other people do not support this. Nobody supports you being true to yourself.

Only a Master, only a Guru does this. And me.

When you start to become true to yourself, the first thing which happens is that you experience that other people do not support this. Nobody supports you being true to yourself. Only a Master, only a Guru does this.

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So, this is one thing. When you become true to yourself, you will experience resistance, strong resistance, and you will discover something very interesting. Those people closest to you are those people who support you the least in being true to yourself.

When you become true to yourself, you will experience resistance, strong resistance, and you will discover something very interesting. Those people closest to you are those people who support you the least in being true to yourself.

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It's natural. It's just this way for everybody.

And then the second thing is that we don't really know what this means. When we start becoming true to ourselves, it's like we are like helpless children stumbling around, and we have find out, by trial and error.

We don't really know what this means. When we start becoming true to ourselves, it's like we are like helpless children stumbling around, and we have find out, by trial and error.

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You went to visit your son, and you knew ahead of time, that you are not allowed to smoke on his property, and you thought: "Oh, this is not a problem. I'll just walk to the gate. I can do what I want, I can smoke, and I can honor his wish that nobody smokes on his property."

But when you were there, you realized this doesn't really work for you – and then, you did it in secret, then you were hiding, and that's where you became untrue to yourself. That was when you made yourself small: by hiding. I'm not saying that you should have openly smoked there, although he didn't allow this. I'm not saying that you should have provoked him like this.

It's like you can only be true to yourself, you can only be as big as you are, when you are honest with yourself – not necessarily honest with the other person, but honest with yourself.

You can only be true to yourself, you can only be as big as you are, when you are honest with yourself – not necessarily honest with the other person, but honest with yourself.

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And the moment you realize: "wait a second, this doesn't work for me", then, to be honest to yourself... Then, you sit there and you realize: "I thought I would not have a problem here, but I do. I do not want to walk to the gate. But I also don't want to stop smoking. What to do? Do I want to make myself small and smoke while hiding?"

You sit there and you notice: "I actually don't want to walk to this gate. It's cumbersome. I'm scared there. I want to enjoy my smoking. I want to smoke here." But then, you walk anyway, not all the way, but 90%. That's where you became untrue to yourself. That's where you made yourself small. And that's bitter.

So, what to do in such a situation? I thank you so much for your letter, because... It sounds so nice to talk about these things like "Oh, yes, being true to yourself" and all this stuff, but when it comes to practical life, suddenly, nobody knows what to do.

Honesty with yourself

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And the first thing is: being honest with yourself. You notice: "I don't want to do this.

I don't want to walk to the gate to smoke. I also don't want to walk 900 meters. I want to smoke here." And then to realize: "Okay, this is my truth."

But what about his truth? He says not to smoke on his property. And then, to have the courage to realize: "Okay, there are 2 things which don't go together. I don't know what to do. I will not make myself small. I will not be untrue to myself. But I also don't want to be respectless to my son." When you are that honest, then you discover new possibilities. Usually we are not honest, and then, two things happen.

Either you do things you don't want to do and then you grudge. You're not happy. You drag yourself one kilometer to this gate, and then you smoke there, and all the way you resent your son for making you do this, and then you smoke and you don't really enjoy it, and then you have to walk all the way back... Or, you are disrespectful to him and you smoke where you are not supposed to smoke.

This is the result of this inner dishonesty, this inner cowardness. But when you are courageous to face the seeming impossible situation, then, something interesting happens. Then you say inside... you realize: "Okay, I'm not willing to do what I thought I can do, but I'm also not willing to disrespect my son. I love him."

And, suddenly, doors open. Suddenly, you have new ideas.

Then you can go to him and say: "Hey, you know, I respect you. I really want to respect your wishes, and it's your property. It's your land. But I have to tell you, I don't have fun walking to this gate. I don't have fun here like this. I have to find another solution for me, and I don't know what this could be. Maybe you have an idea. But like this, I cannot be here. If it is like this, I will have to leave." If you are that honest, then, new doors open. Then it's like you change, simply by this honesty. Maybe he changes too– who knows?

If you are that honest, then, new doors open. Then it's like you change, simply by this honesty.

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When you are that honest, maybe you realize: "Well, smoking isn't that important to me after all." But then you don't make yourself small. You're willing for anything. Or you have an idea: "Hey. You know what? I rent a room in the next hotel, and we can just meet twice a day, and I can smoke wherever I want." Or he realizes that, after all, his property is much stronger energetically than he thought and his property can handle a smoker. Whatever... I don't know. But just by this honesty to yourself, you become creative.

Just by this honesty to yourself, you become creative.

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And even if you don't find any solution to it, then you just leave – but that's being true to yourself: being willing for anything. In order to be true to yourself, you need to be willing to let go.

If you want to be true to yourself, and, at the same time, have other things, you cannot be true to yourself. You want to be the way you are, but you also want to spend time with your son. It doesn't go together.

That's being true to yourself: being willing for anything. In order to be true to yourself, you need to be willing to let go. If you want to be true to yourself, and, at the same time, have other things, you cannot be true to yourself.

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So, you have to let go. You have to let go of all these other things, and then, you really find out what it means to be true to yourself. Then you really find out what is important to you – in this let go, in this honesty.

You have to let go. You have to let go of all these other things, and then, you really find out what it means to be true to yourself. Then you really find out what is important to you – in this let go, in this honesty.

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You have all these things you think are important to you. Smoking is important to you, but also the connection to your son. And now, life brings you into this interesting situation where both don't go together. I love this. This is great. And now, life forces you... You want to be true to yourself, and now, life forces you to let go, because if you want to be true to yourself, you can't have both. And in that process, you will find out what you really want.

And the beautiful thing is that in this process... When you really want to be true to yourself, you will learn something very surprising. You will learn: I don't need to smoke; I don't need my son. I just want to be true to myself. I just want to love myself. And maybe you keep smoking – no problem. Or maybe there is a way to meet your son – great, fine. But the actual treasure is this closeness to yourself.

And now, life forces you... You want to be true to yourself, and now, life forces you to let go, because if you want to be true to yourself, you can't have both. And in that process, you will find out what you really want.

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That's what's being provoked by an episode like the one you have just experienced.

The important thing is not that you have a good relationship with your son, and the important thing is not that you give up smoking or that you can smoke. These are all just external things. They don't matter at all. I know, they feel important to you, but what you learn in this situation is this radical truthfulness to yourself, this radical closeness to yourself – and that's valuable. This is worth the pain of this experience. And, of course, what really helps you with this is the meditation.

But the actual treasure is this closeness to yourself. The important thing is not a good relationship with your son or that you can smoke. These are all just external things. They don't matter at all. What you learn in this situation is this truthfulness and closeness with yourself – and that's valuable. This is worth the pain of this experience.

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When you do the Samarpan Meditation, there you foster this closeness with yourself; there you learn this what I just mentioned: this let go. When you want to meditate the Samarpan Meditation, when you want to rest here with your attention, in the crown chakra, you have to let go of everything else. You can't think. You can't hold on to anything, it's amazing, although it's just this simple physical spot up here. But when you are there, you can't think.

When you want to meditate the Samarpan Meditation, when you want to rest here with your attention, in the crown chakra, you have to let go of everything else. You can't think. You can't hold on to anything, it's amazing, although it's just this simple physical spot up here. But when you are there, you can't think.

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And then, for this half an hour when you meditate, you don't smoke, and you don't think about smoking. You are utterly alone, there is nobody else, and there develops this connection to your true self.

And I just mentioned this briefly before... When you are close to yourself, then you become creative. And when this inner connection to your soul grows, over time, there you find what you really need.

And then, for this half an hour when you meditate, you don't smoke, and you don't think about smoking. You are utterly alone, there is nobody else, and there develops this connection to your true self. And when you are close to yourself, then you become creative.

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And then, to deal with all these outer problems becomes totally easy, because that what you really need, you find in yourself. And then, whether you smoke or not or whether you can smoke or not, whether you can see your son or not, is not so important anymore. It loses its importance, because that what you really need, you found. That's the end of your neediness. And then, these outward situations become very easy, problem-free.

When this inner connection to your soul grows, you find what you really need. And then, to deal with all these outer problems becomes totally easy. Whether you can smoke or not, whether you can see your son or not, loses its importance, because that what you really need, you found. That's the end of your neediness.

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So, whenever you encounter a seemingly impossible situation in your life, like what you experienced, this is always a hint that you miss the actual issue. It is an indication that you try to make something work which is not what it's about. But when you take care of the actual issue – this connection to yourself –, then, all these things solve themselves. It all relaxes. And then, in a few years, maybe you see him again and you can just laugh about it, that you took all this too serious and it was so important and so difficult for you.

Whenever you encounter a seemingly impossible situation in your life, this is always a hint that you miss the actual issue. It is an indication that you try to make something work which is not what it's about. But when you take care of the actual issue – this connection to yourself –, then, all these things solve themselves.

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Thank you for your letter. Thank you that I could speak about it a little bit.

Accept, and everything else happens by itself

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So, I have one more letter I would like to answer today.

"The Guru I am very close to is Satya Sai Baba, and also Shirdi Sai Baba. I was often in Sai Baba's ashram, and through him, I experienced exactly what you are talking about. Then, I lost it again, and now I'm slowly finding my way back. Your videos are a really big help for me in this. With Sai Baba, I reached a point where I just wished I could accept everything exactly as it is, and for many years, I couldn't at all.

Now it gets better and better, and I feel more and more content and free. The circumstances around me have also calmed down and became very beautiful and harmonious. I practice Samarpan Meditation, and I am grateful that it has helped me to start meditating regularly again. And, at the same time, I feel closer to Sai Baba again."

Before I go on with the actual question of this letter, I would like to comment just briefly on this. This is exactly what I just mentioned in my answer to the previous letter.

You meditate, you foster this connection to your inside, and your entire life changes. Everything becomes quiet, relaxed, problem-free. But it happens so slowly and so naturally and so by itself that often, we don't even notice, and we don't connect the two things. We meditate every day, and we discover this deep connection to the God inside of us.

You meditate, you foster this connection to your inside, and your entire life changes. Everything becomes quiet, relaxed, problem-free. But it happens so slowly and so naturally and so by itself that often, we don't even notice, and we don't connect the two things.

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And, at the same time, our entire life transforms. But we have no direct indication that this profound change in our lives is due to the meditation, is due to this soul connection we slowly develop. And that's why I wanted to point this out. This is exactly how it happens, and I hear this from so many people, again and again and again.

We meditate every day, and we discover this deep connection to the God inside of us. And, at the same time, our entire life transforms. But we have no direct indication that this profound change in our lives is due to the meditation, is due to this soul connection we slowly develop.

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So many people write to me with impossible situations in their lives, and I tell them that what Swamiji tells people all the time: meditate. Accept the way it is for you, as impossible as it seems – and meditate. Foster this inner connection. You don't even know why you do it. It feels as if this is not important. It feels as if this will not do anything. But, sometimes, when I say this, people believe it and they do it, and then, a few months later, they write back and say: "Mikael, a miracle happened.

I don't know how it is possible, but a miracle happened. It all got solved in a way I could have never imagined." And it was like this countless times in my own life, and I hear this from so many people over and over again. And we don't even know why it happens. It even is like this... Swamiji sometimes reports this. He says people come with big problems. He tells them: meditate. And then they start meditating, and then, their lives become completely transformed.

They become worry free and successful, but they can't really sense the direct connection between the meditation, between this inner connection you develop to yourself, and their change in life. So, once their problems are gone, once their agony is gone, they stop meditating, because they don't realize that it was the meditation in the first place which triggered the change. And then, a few months or a year later, they are back, because all the problems come back.

So, when you start taking care of this one thing which is important in life – this connection to this 'inside' of you – and you don't even know what I mean with 'inside' –, with your soul, with the God inside, everything else in your life transforms. And in this letter, the lady describes this so beautifully.

People write to me about impossible situations, and I tell them that what Swamiji tells people all the time: meditate. Foster this inner connection. You don't even know why you do it. It feels as if this will not do anything. But some people believe it and they do it, and then, a few months later, they write back and say: "Mikael, a miracle happened."

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Shirdi Sai Baba is doing the work

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By the way, one more thing. You mentioned that your Guru is Satya Sai Baba, and you mentioned that you are also close to Shirdi Sai Baba. I have no connection to Satya Sai Baba, and my Guru is Swamiji. But one day, Swamiji was having a big shibir in Shirdi. This is the town in India where Shirdi Sai Baba was living, a 100 years ago or something like this.

And during this shibir... It sounds totally crazy when I report this, but I was sitting here in Germany.

Swamiji had this shibir in India in Shirdi. I was participating online, this whole thing got broadcasted through YouTube, and I was deeply connected with Swamiji. And during this shibir, Shirdi Sai Baba came to me – inside. And since then, he's always with me. I can't understand this, but I am totally connected with him.

And for me, it is like this: when I am quiet, when I don't do anything, when I meditate, that's when I am closest to my Guru, Swamiji. But whenever I do something, especially when I sit in front of the camera, or when I work, when I program, when I take care of the website or household or whatnot, that's when Shirdi Sai Baba is with me, as if he is doing the work; as if he is controlling everything; as if he is making this possible.

When I don't do anything, when I meditate, that's when I am closest to my Guru, Swamiji. But whenever I do something, especially when I sit in front of the camera or work or whatnot, that's when Shirdi Sai Baba is with me, as if he is doing the work; as if he is controlling everything; as if he is making this possible.

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These are such mysterious things, and, you know, I am a totally simple guy. I'm not spiritual. I am an engineer. I am a programmer. I only care for the things I can see and touch and experience myself. I am not interested in theories or dogmas or stories or hopes or dreams. But then, sometimes, I experience something myself, something I never thought is possible or never thought existed, and I am just astonished.

And then, I almost feel a little shy to share these experiences, because I think, nobody will be able to understand this, but it's my experience. What can I do?

You cannot understand the path

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So, I read the reminder of this letter.

"Then, there is a word that my mind still struggles with, sometimes more, sometimes less, and this is the word 'soul'. After my stays in the ashram of Satya Sai Baba, I came into contact with Advaita and with books by Ramesh Balsekar. On the one hand, this brought me something good and relieving. But on the other hand, it somehow took away my childlike innocence. There is this book by Ramesh which begins like this: 'Events occur. Actions are done. But there is no individual who performs actions. Enlightenment is the end of suffering. There is no soul.

And, consequently, there is no soul transmigration.' Until then, I was so sure. Rebirth, soul, everything was normal and somehow logical for me, and then, it felt like this helpful concept was suddenly taken away from me. I slowly began to come to terms with the idea that I just don't know; that maybe we all can't know at all. But then came the point where I realized: I need a concept that explains the world to me, and I turned back to the concept of reincarnation, but rather uncertainly. Now, through Swamiji, it is back again, again in the simple way that I also learned from Sai Baba.

And this back and forth, coupled with Ramana Maharshi's question 'who am I' sometimes does not settle in me. Okay, I say to myself: my mind wants to solve something that it can't and doesn't need to solve. That helps briefly, but somehow, not completely. Would you like to share your perspective on this with me?"

Thank you. Thank you for your letter. I am touched.

I know what you mean. I have the same experience.

You know, there are Gurus, there are beautiful, wise beings who speak the truth, but I can't listen to them.

It doesn't give me anything. It doesn't work for me. I don't know Ramesh Balsekar so much, but, for instance, I know J. Krishnamurti, and everything he says is true.

But what he says, it's like, I don't want to hear it. It's the truth, precisely expressed, but it doesn't touch me.

And then, there is somebody like Jesus. Jesus talks in stories, in pictures, in parables.

He doesn't say the truth directly, and yet, it goes directly into my heart. I don't understand what he is talking about, but I am totally touched. I become encouraged, strengthened, nourished.

There are beautiful, wise beings who speak the truth, but I can't listen to them. Everything J. Krishnamurti says is the truth, precisely expressed, but it doesn't touch me. And then, there is somebody like Jesus. Jesus talks in stories, in pictures, in parables. He doesn't say the truth directly, and yet, it goes directly into my heart.

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There flows a warmth, a closeness to life.

And now, where I am today, I understand J. Krishnamurti, I understand Ramesh, but it's like... the interesting thing is whether it's helpful for somebody who does not understand.

So many times, I have heard J. Krishnamurti say in his discourse... He says something profoundly true, and then he looks around, he sees all these blank faces, and he says: "I wonder whether you understand me."

So, the Guru, a Jesus, he speaks to those people who do not understand.

And that's the magic. It's like, in order to be a guidance and a help for other people, you yourself must know the truth from your own experience. You must live the truth. You can only speak about Heaven when you are in Heaven.

This is necessary. But it doesn't mean that you have to speak the truth. You have to be in the truth, like Jesus. Jesus was living in Heaven, but the way he talked to the people was on the level of the people, and that is why they are being touched.

That's the secret. That's the gift.

In order to be a help for other people, you must know the truth from own experience. You can only speak about Heaven when you are in Heaven. But it doesn't mean that you have to speak the truth. Jesus was living in Heaven, but the way he talked was on the level of the people, and that is why they are being touched. That's the secret. That's the gift.

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It's like with Buddha. Buddha is such a beautiful being, and he spoke the truth, and many people follow him, but very few compared to the amount of people who are with Jesus, simply because everybody can relate with Jesus. You are just being touched.

He tells one story and you start crying, because you know: "He is talking about me." And this gives you hope. This gives you encouragement.

And then, somebody else speaks and he says the truth precisely, to the point, and you feel lost and small.

It just is like this.

So, I totally understand your sentiment. It's the same for me. And the truth is something you don't have to understand. It's not that you have to hear it often enough and slowly, slowly, slowly, you understand it. It doesn't work like this. The truth is something everybody has to experience for him- or herself.

And then, the Master, the Guru, builds bridges, so the disciple will experience it by himself, by herself, and then, all the questions disappear. And one of those bridges is the Samarpan Meditation. There, you slowly experience yourself what Jesus was talking about.

The truth is something you don't have to understand. It's not that you have to hear it often enough and slowly, you understand it. It doesn't work like this. The truth is something everybody has to experience for him- or herself. The Master builds bridges so the disciple will experience it, and then, all the questions disappear.

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That's the gift.

That's why I love to talk about Jesus so much – because now, I understand him. I read what he said, and it's like: "Oh, yes. I know."

And that's why I don't speak much about spiritual things and about the truth and how all these things actually are, because it's of very limited help – in my experience. But I rather talk about that which will make you understand by your own experience. Then you experience yourself, and then, I don't have to talk about it. And that's why I tell you every time I speak: meditate. And then, this what Ramesh talks about, this what J. Krishnamurti talks about, this is what Ramana Maharshi talks about, is your own experience.

I don't speak much about spiritual things, the truth and how all these things actually are, because it's of very limited help. I rather talk about that which will make you understand by your own experience. Then you experience yourself, and then, I don't have to talk about it. And that's why I tell you every time I speak: meditate.

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Thank you for your letter.

And if you have questions, I am so happy to receive your email or your letter.

Thank you for being here.

I love you.