Trusting like a Child

Complete text for reading along:

Good morning.

This morning, I would like to talk again about trust, about the subject of my last video. The last video was called: "Trusting like a Master", and after I had published it, a few days ago I received a letter, and I would like to read out a few lines of this letter and then talk about it.

"I cannot finish watching the video right now. I'm at about 30 minutes. In me, strong resistance stirs up, although I still assume that the trust as I feel it is not meant when you say: 'wishful thinking like a child'. Jesus also spoke about it in a way that we should become like children again. In my being, there is something childlike, naive, but for me it is true."

Yes, for me it is exactly like this. I also feel naive in my trust. I also feel childlike inside. And yes, this is exactly what Jesus was talking about. Jesus was talking about his trust, the trust of the Master. And he basically says: you want to be like this? Just become like a child again. Children know how to trust. I could have called my last video "Trusting like a Child" just as well. There is not really a difference. There's a difference between a child and a Master, but the trust is the same. And I had this trust in a way always, throughout my whole life. I don't know where it comes from, but I remember... there's one situation I remember very vividly, I must have been about 12 years old, I was on my way to the streetcar station, on my way to school... and I still remember how I was walking down the street and thinking: "strange, why do all the people worry, why do my parents worry?" My siblings, everybody I knew, children or adults, were constantly worrying about something. I didn't have this. I just knew that everything is fine.

It's not that I had a pain-free childhood, quite the contrary, but this trust was there, this knowing: everything is fine, everything will be fine. Don't ask me where I had this from. And it felt naive. I never talked about this to anybody. I felt like an outcast. I felt wrong, naive, because everybody around me displayed a totally different attitude which did not fit to what I felt inside already then, 12 years old.

So, there's no contradiction. I was talking exactly about that. And just earlier, when I did the German version of this video, I remembered where I said something which might have caused this misunderstanding. I said that people have this trust, this is what they call "trust", that they have an imagination how their live will be when they trust. It's like praying to God and asking for something. And then they think: if they trust enough, then they will get what they ask for, and I called this a childlike trust, a childish trust, and I guess this was an unfortunate way of expressing it. I should have said: this is an adult-like way of trusting, an ego-like way of trusting, a manipulative way of trusting. But you can't manipulate life, and you can't manipulate God. They don't play along. But there's this true trust which is totally innocent, no manipulations, like: okay, no matter what, I know it will be fine.

That's how I felt back then when I was 12 years old. I didn't know what would happen in my life. I had no imagination about my life. But I knew: I don't have to worry. I just knew it. But as I said, I felt... I was hiding this trust. I never showed this to anybody, simply because it felt dangerous, because everybody else believed in something totally different. And later, when my school was over, when I was 19, I was... I had what we call in German "Abitur", I was finished with the school and I could have gone to university at that point; and it was an interesting situation for me because all of my schoolmates, all of my friends, they all knew what they will do. They knew how life will continue for them. They knew what they would study, where they will study. They already had plans what profession they will take on later, they were preparing their life. They were really having a clear vision of their life and how it will happen.

I had none of this. I didn't know what I want. I didn't know what I will do. I was like blank. I just didn't want school to be over. I wanted school to continue. I had no plans. And I felt wrong, of course. I felt unprepared. I felt naive. But I didn't worry. I didn't worry. What I did in this situation then... I just did what felt totally obvious to me, what just happened without me really planning anything. And it got me into a lot of trouble. I did many things at that age which brought me into a difficult life, and into difficult circumstances from time to time. But of course, looking back, I can see this was exactly the right thing. I really needed this, and I'm grateful for this. Exactly the right things happened, the wonderful things, the difficult things, without me having any plan. I could just be as naive and as not knowing as I was. And I experienced this over and over and over again in my life.

But the others were different. They really had their plans. They knew what they want and they knew how their life should look like. And that's what they manifested. And I remember, five years after I finished school, there was the first class reunion. So, I met all my schoolmates again, and I was shocked, because I had the feeling that they're all dead. They looked totally boring, they looked totally bored, lifeless. They were successful. Some of them, after five years, had already finished university, they had jobs; others were just at the end of their studies; some of them were married and happy and had a family; and everything went according to plan. And I felt totally wrong. But they looked so lifeless, so dead. I was shocked.

I still didn't know what I want. I was again at the point where soon my entire life would come to an end again, and I was at a point where I had to start all over, not knowing at all what I want. And in a way, I'm still like this today. This naivety, this not knowing. And this is exactly what the Master is talking about: this kind of trust, this is what adults call naive, this is what you see in a Master. There are Masters who really look very childlike, they behave very childlike. And there are other Masters who do not look childlike at all, like my Master, my Guru, they don't look childlike, but they have this trust which is, in the eyes of the adults, really naive, irresponsible. "How can you do this; you have to take charge of your life." That's what we think. But we don't. We have this naive trust, and we are carried through life.

This is what Jesus is talking about, exactly this, this childlike trust, this is the trust of the Master. And that trust which we adults have usually, that trust which I called a childish illusion in my last video, that's something different. There we have a certain idea and imagination of how things should be and how things will be when I trust, and that's just not how things work. That's what I called childlike, childish, and I guess this was not really hitting the point, this choice of words.

You know, whenever I make a video, I have the feeling I couldn't really express what I wanted to say in the right way. It's just not possible. But what are the options? Not saying anything? I can't keep my mouth shut, so I have to say something. So... I take the risk. And I'm grateful when somebody tells me: "hey, what you said is not true", or "what you said can be misunderstood". I'm very grateful for this, because I give my best but I fail again and again.

And I wanted to reiterate something I already said in my first video: that having this true trust, this childlike trust, does not mean that life will be painless and that life will be free of problems. That's what we usually think. We trust so we don't feel pain anymore, we trust so we don't get problems in life anymore. But this is not how it works. It's quite the contrary. It's when we are at a point in our life where we become ready to turn inwards, where we become ready to meet ourselves, or, to express it in a religious way, when we become ready to look for God, then it is very normal in life that things get difficult for a while. And this is just part of the path. It's nothing bad, and it's also nothing we have to be afraid of. It's just things which you need to experience, things we have to go through, to become ready, to become capable of being innocent again. And this is not a contradiction. Only adults think like this, children don't.

And this is so normal that there is a certain period of difficulty which come in life, which comes in life when first-class you start walking towards God so to speak, that it is being told about in all the different religions. In Christianity it's called purgatory. We have these really strange ideas about hell and purgatory and stuff, and we connect it with punishment and that we did something wrong. This is all a misunderstanding. What the term describes is that when we really become disillusioned with the ordinary life everybody has, and when we turn inwards, when we begin to meet ourselves, when we begin to meet God, then there are certain things we meet which we don't like. We meet the reality of how we really are. We meet the feelings we carry inside of us since ages, without wanting to feel them. We meet unprocessed stuff in us. We meet things we always wanted to avoid but which are somewhere hidden in us. So, we have them anyway, we just ignored them up to this point.

And when we start out on our path inside, on our path towards God, then we begin to meet these things. And this is good. But it can be very difficult for a while. But knowing that this is just part of the process really helps, in my experience. The Christians call it purgatory. I read from one Master just a few days ago. He said: "yes yes", he said, "when you start on the path, it becomes very difficult, but don't worry, it's only for a while, it's only cleaning, and then it passes". And I like the... in German, the term "purgatory" is being translated as "sweeping fire". It's... you know, your inside is being swept out, swept clean. All the old dust, the old things which are laying around on the floor, they're just being cleaned out. And yes, that hurts a little bit, or very much, for a little while. And then you're ready. It's just a few things inside of you which needs to be cleaned and polished a little bit. It happens automatically.

So, there's no reason to get disillusioned or worried because of this. It's part of the process. The Indians talk about Karma, and that's what they mean by this. You have accumulated a certain amount of Karma in your lives, and when you start walking towards God, you have to take care of certain things which are just still sitting there, but it's only for a while. It's not endless.

And it's my experience in my life... it's really interesting... When this is your life where it's up for you to actually discover God, actually discover heaven, then you have a difficult life. Some people have a very difficult life. But then you come to the point where these difficulties you have to live through are over. And all the Masters, all the Gurus talk about this, that it's only a very short time. And a short time means... it can be a few years; it can be a few decades even. This is your life where you become ready. But when this time is over, when your Karma is liberated, when your purgatory is done, then you find yourself in a very strange situation. You are so used to life being difficult, but the difficulties disappear and you think: oops, I wonder when the next problem will arise, I wonder when next nightmare happens. And you're willing, you are trusting, but it doesn't come. It just doesn't come anymore.

And for a few years, you remain suspicious and think: oh, I don't know, can I... and you just stay open for everything God wants to serve you, but it's over. It's just over. And then it becomes really easy. Yes, so, this trust I was talking about is this childlike trust.

I mentioned in the beginning of the video that there is a difference between a child and a Master. And the difference is just what I just talked about. The Master knows: I can trust no matter what. The child doesn't know this yet, the child just trusts, but then it becomes an adult, and problems arise in life, challenges come, and then the trust is gone. And the Master has this trust again. You, the writer of this letter, has this trust, despite the difficulties, and that's the trust of the Master. The trust of what I call childish trust in my first video, the trust the adults have when we imagine the life we want, and then we "trust" God that it will be like this... that's the opposite, that's the trust which will be shattered as soon as it becomes really difficult, as soon as our dreams or expectations are not being met.

But when you rediscover this trust, although you have this difficult life you are in right now, this life where you become ready to meet yourself, to meet God, then you meet the same trust again. You meet the same trust you had as a child. But now, it can't be shaken anymore. And some people never lose this trust. The writer of this letter never lost this trust. The letter is very long, very beautiful. She writes about all the different hells she went through in life. She talks about this, about a very difficult life, and yet, always this naive trust. And that's how it is for me in my life. I hinted at the fact that I had my share of tragedy and nightmare in this life, but this naive trust was always there, always. And this is a blessing. When you have this in your life, you are so lucky.

And basically, this is the job of a Master, this is the job of a Guru, to tell you: when you feel this trust, when you rediscover this trust which feels so naive, so irresponsible, so out of place in this world where everybody thinks life is difficult... it's their job to tell you: "no, exactly this is it, you can trust it". You can trust your trust. It really is like this. So, when you are a child, when you feel like a child like I do, and you feel that you are naive, when you hear all the other people talking around you about all their worries or their efforts to make sure that their future will be taken care of... I can only tell you: I'm the same. I am as naive as you are, and my experience is: this carries. This really carries.

Jesus is right: when you put God first, when you have this trust, everything else happens by itself. You just live your life, you do your work, you do all the obvious things, you years; do what you feel energy for, that's how life guides us. It's not that you are sitting around in the corner doing nothing, you just do what's obvious, what's needed, and all the rest happens.

Thank you for listening. Thank you.

I love you.